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Khorne
May 1, 2002

Bubblyblubber posted:

Or not, whatever. Nice bullet dodge, buddy.
No poo poo. Nonstop excuses and blaming in their conversation, no personal responsibility, ridiculously entitled, cya.

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
As soon as he said his ex was Australian and he was from Africa, I was waiting for the racist bomb to drop.

:sigh:

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

"affectionately" called blackie

wow yeah this was really out of the blue

Mocking Bird
Aug 17, 2011

fruit on the bottom posted:

I have a friend who's an au pair in one of those Scandinavian countries and she seems to be doing fine. Maybe you just have to avoid those swarthy Italians.

Wasn't the other au pair nightmare story about an Italian preteen peeping at the nanny through the curtains the parents installed on the OUTSIDE of her bedroom door?

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Au pair is also a bad idea, although the most interesting horror story I know is one family where after 2 months the au pair took all their things and dissapeared into the night leaving behind the house keys they had been given. The family that hired her never found out what happened.

Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Barudak posted:

Au pair is also a bad idea, although the most interesting horror story I know is one family where after 2 months the au pair took all their things and dissapeared into the night leaving behind the house keys they had been given. The family that hired her never found out what happened.
I mean, didn't they, though? She stole all their poo poo and disappeared. That's not really a lingering mystery.

"I guess we'll never know why this stranger took all of our expensive items"

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Slugworth posted:

I mean, didn't they, though? She stole all their poo poo and disappeared. That's not really a lingering mystery.

"I guess we'll never know why this stranger took all of our expensive items"

No no, the au pair only took the au pairs own belongings. Everything that was the families was untouched, up to the housekeys that were left behind.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
conflict avoidant but didn't like the jorb

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

My brother tried to blind me 3-4years ago. I am living with him again and I hate every minute of it. Any advice?

quote:

So approximately 3 to 4 years ago my older brother (27M) who hates me tried to blind me by putting bleach into my contact lense holding case. I still live with him despite the incident and he is still the most hosed up selfish human being. I literally hate being in the same country as him as he is just one toxic, judgemental and arrogant oval office and doesn't see what he did to me as something he should at least apologize for. He has always blamed me for all his sadness in his life and is currently a very hard person to get close to. He has stolen my possessions, broken my property and in recent months he has brought his female friends to gently caress in my room... i need a way to filter this person out of my life please help... im still a fulltime university student (24M) and can not stand living with him but at the same time cannot afford to live outside. Any advice will be appreciated! Thanks

quote:

Switch to daily contacts, those don't need maintenance and can be tossed.

Thanks, Reddit.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
TBF, that would be my most immediate concern.

Gloryhold It!
Sep 22, 2008

Fucking
Adorable

fruit on the bottom posted:

TBF, that would be my most immediate concern.

Yeah, dealing with all that other crap would be a lot harder while blind

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

conflict avoidant but didn't like the jorb

was the au pair british? (just a hunch)

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Bubblyblubber posted:

We tried exiling them to the murder island, but the poisonous everything just seems to make them stronger somehow.

And racister.

Me [32 M] with my ex [33F], broke up over a wedding dress code.


I mean, it's a silly fight alright, the bride herself wasn't even mad about it, I'm sure they can figure something out.

Update: Me [32 M] with my ex [33F], broke up over a wedding dress code


Or not, whatever. Nice bullet dodge, buddy.

it's weird to me how you could date someone from another culture and not even be remotely interested in it. I don't mean fetishizing it like "oh man I sure do love nigeria let me find a nigerian to date" but like just wanting to know them better "oh, your family is from nigeria? What's that like".

It feels like we've had several stories where this kind of thing comes up and one partner/family is just like "no, I refuse to acknowledge countries outside my own exist". Why even date someone if you give that little of a poo poo about their values, just seems like compatibility 101.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

God, now I realize why Amsterdamites were so enthusiastically helpful when I said I was trying to find the Hermitage, unscented with urine, weed, or crusting spunk.

Amsterdamites are legit excited when you do literally anything other than smoke weed, drunkenly fall in canals, or bang victims of human trafficing "window girls"

That being said, Vondelpark was not meant to be experienced sober :colbert:

Ham Sandwiches
Jul 7, 2000

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I'm pretty sure au pair is the universal word for mail-order bride and I've never seen a single thing that fails to confirm this.

au pairs are ladies in their 20s and you don't marry them, how is that like a mail order bride :confused:

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
European art and culture should be taken in like it was made: surrounded by filth, faith, sex, superstition, booze, and more sex. Get some books on weird spiritual practices (give some of it a try!) or pray to the big JC or go to mass/whatever while on your trip, sleep with some people, piss in an alley, get in a fight, and take in the transcendental beauty of some of man's greatest art and architecture. Michelangelo might have painted the Sistine Chapel and carved his David, but he also never bathed or changed his clothes, slept around with tons of men and women and had a bad temper and a habit of starting fights that got him in serious trouble. Picasso was a goon.

Fartbox
Apr 27, 2017
What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Hi i'm european and I can confirm all italian men are grotesques

But the women are very hot. THey look so different from the nordics up here, which is super hot to me

grass is greener and all that

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
My boyfriend [26M] uses a lot of immature/gross terms which make me [24F] cringe.

quote:

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months. Things have been good so far. We have fun together, get along, etc.

One thing though that has kind of annoyed me is the way he talks sometimes. He says really immature and sometimes gross things and they make me cringe. To list some examples :

He calls boobs "boo boos"

He calls dinner "din din"

He will say "I need to go potty" or "I'm gonna go poopie"

He thinks "guess what?" "Chicken butt!" Is hilarious.

He calls sex "making whoopie" and other similarly awkward phrases

calls padded bike shorts "poopie pant shorts"

I find these things pretty cringeworthy and honestly annoying. When he says "guess what?" To me I just tell him "I'm not gonna answer you". And when he calls sex "whoopie" I'll say "can you not call it that?" But he thinks it's all so hilarious. It's off putting to me. Should I just end things now, or am I being too petty?

TLDR: New boyfriend says a lot of immature and gross things and it's off putting.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend [26M] uses a lot of immature/gross terms which make me [24F] cringe.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

gently caress, pick beat me to doxxing her boyfriend.

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:

La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend [26M] uses a lot of immature/gross terms which make me [24F] cringe.

There's a typo in the title. This guy is 6, not 26.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
My mom [52f] wants me [22f] to send her a fake email from the CIA in order to make my little brother [13m] behave.


quote:

My mom, Kat, has struggled for years in punishing my little brother, Joe. He has mild-to-moderate autism and is high functioning, but throughout early childhood he has learned that if he throws enough of a fit he will get his way. He goes to a new school now and he's already been suspended, almost expelled for cursing at a teacher, punching a student, and giving the middle finger to an instructor who was saying hello. My mom can't ignore it anymore because he is older now, taller than her and about 200+ lbs. He hits her, throws her down the stairs and is just an absolute poo poo most of the time. He's used to always getting his way, no matter what.

My mom has had enough, and she thinks that she can get him to behave if I participate in her little plan. Joe is really interested in comspiracy theories, crime solving, etc and wants to be part of the CIA one day. My mom had told him before that they're not going to want him if he doesn't do his schoolwork or attack people because someone says no. He just responds with "I'll just have to behave better later." My mom wants to take this a step further and get me to make a fake email stating something like this:

"Joe, if you would like to join the "Junior CIA Agents Program" (made up obviously), you will need to comply with a few rules, including listen to your mother and grandfather, not fighting in school, and doing your honework. Remember, we are always watching, so we will know if you do not comply with these rules. If you do this, you may be able to join through CIA one day."

She wants me to write this for her because I have better writing skills and she wants me to edit a seal onto it to make it look authentic.

In my opinion, this manipulative tactic is far above where I am willing to go. My mom sees no problem in this. He still believes in Santa Claus for goodness sake. He will truly, wholeheartedly believe this. I do not think this is appropriate but she fully expects me to do this. When she asked I was lukewarm about it and said "Maybe" because I just didn't know how to take it.

Am I wrong in thinking this is ridiculous? She "doesn't know what else to do" in order to get him to behave. I should also mention that her punishments usually last a couple days at most and it's usually something like "no video games" but he can still play with his toys or play on his iPad and stuff. I don't feel like he's ever properly been reprimanded for his behavior, she disagrees because "he's been through too much" because of my parents' rocky relationship and all the moving around we've been doing.

I just don't know how to take all this in.

TL;DR my mom wants me to write a letter from the CIA to show to my little brother so he will behave.

Edit: I texted her telling her I'm not going to do this, she's asleep so I'll see what she says tomorrow

I want this kid to fight the kid the kid that loves goku, and lose of course because goku could totally beat the CIA.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

He doesnt need one from the CIA, he needs one from WWE. 200+ pounds and 5 foot and change at 13 and passion for throwing people around.

Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Barudak posted:

No no, the au pair only took the au pairs own belongings. Everything that was the families was untouched, up to the housekeys that were left behind.

Ohhh, in that case, husband tried to gently caress au pair, she wasn't into it, disappeared into the night to avoid drama.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Slugworth posted:

Ohhh, in that case, husband tried to gently caress au pair, she wasn't into it, disappeared into the night to avoid drama.

Draxion
Jun 9, 2013




La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend [26M] uses a lot of immature/gross terms which make me [24F] cringe.

She's dating an Adam Sandler character, isn't she.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
Me [23 F] with my coworker [55+ M], his wife is threatening me and I have no help

quote:

Hey Reddit! This is first post, I made an account just for this so please bare with me!

I work for a small firm, roughly 25 people, and I am the youngest employee by 15 years. We have no formal HR department and the person in charge of office conflicts is a huge gossip who is ineffective at best, and a fire starter at worse. So she is of no help in any situation, especially sensitive ones.

I am 24, married, and about 5.5 months pregnant. I am in office about 3 days a week as the admin and CAD, but work remotely from home 2+ days a week just as the CAD. I pride myself on being friendly, good humored, and easy to get along with. I guess, this has led to my problem with my coworker and his wife.

There’s a nice older male coworker, “Phil”, who works in another department but is one I have to interact with about once or twice a week for work projects. He’s a very chatty, a bit of an over sharer, man who’s probably older than my father. I don't know too much about him, but I do know how he feels about Subway and whatever weird rant he's on this week. We talk mostly about military experiences. My husband is currently deployed and in the same exact MOS as Phil was back in the 70s and 80s. Phil is married to “Dawn”, and has been for a few years. I believe she’s his 3rd or 4th wife. She tags along to office parties, which is how I met her. She also brings him his lunch a few times a month. She was always odd, but I assumed it was just how she is.

For the past few weeks, I’ve noticed an uptick in her office appearances as well as a drastic increase in hostility. I assumed it was due to something going on personally –thus not my business. However, last week she came into work and had a very public screaming match with Phil about an affair. I was shocked due to his devotion to Dawn. I was upset for her. However, she then came charging up to me and told me she wanted me to abort “his” child and she knew that about “us”. She then smashed my flower vase on the ground, put her hand in my face, and said she’ll ruin me. Dawn had apparently contacted my husband via social media and informed him of this. Thankfully, he did not believe her.

As you can imagine, this was hugely upsetting and quite honestly straight out of left field. I have no idea where she got this from. Phil can be a bit off color, but nothing flirty. We both have similar senses of humor, like puns, and enjoy a good cup of coffee in the break room. But that’s about as far as out social interactions outside of work. We’ve never been to anything one on one, we only go to the office parties, but Dawn has always been there, and before my husband shipped out, he came to a few of them too.

The next day Dawn called me work. Saying she wants me to quit or else. I informed her as politely as I could that my husband is the father and there is no way I’m going to do that. She said she’ll call my husband’s staff sergeants to report me. I told her if she wants to pay for it, I’ll get a DNA test done on my baby after it’s born just to shut her up.

Today, I got a letter from a “lawyer” on my desk threatening to sue for custody. This lawyer is fake, in my opinion. The lawyer couldn't spell right and is obliviously using way too much legal jargon that doesn't make sense in this context. My husband said to call the police and file harassment charges and get a restraining order against her and I am very seriously considering it!

The office gossips are having a field day with this! Some are saying she’s right because my husband deployed 7 months ago. However, he came home for his bio mother’s funeral and that’s when we got pregnant. They know this because he surprised me at the office a few days ahead of when I expected him to be home! It was a huge scene that they helped organize!

I am dumbfounded on how to deal with this! Phil is avoiding me, as I am him. However, it’s effecting our work. I can’t do my job without his data and he can’t do his presentations without my files. So our collective work is grinding to a halt. We have to go through coworkers, but it’s not effective. Phil seems unphased by this, but I was told he’s actually upset by someone sympathetic to him.

The CEO told me he’s very sorry for what’s going on. He’s trying to figure out what to do and Phil and I are both equally important to the company. He said he’s not going to fire Phil over his wife’s actions.

What do I do? I need the money from this job and I love the job besides this! Phil doesn’t seem to be quitting either but there’s no way Dawn’s going to stop, if anything she’s only going to get worse! I feel so alone and hurt. How do I handle this professional to save my career? Any ideas on personally as well?

Thank you!!!

tl;dr: Married Coworker was friendly, wife went crazy assuming an affair and is threatening me because I am pregnant by my husband .

Way to open yourself up to a lawsuit CEO dude.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Why can't it be the au pair who propositioned the wife? Y'all cishetcist.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Pvt.Scott posted:

Why can't it be the au pair who propositioned the wife? Y'all cishetcist.

Because it's men who stare at women who are passed out and think about how much they want to rape them.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

Me [23 F] with my coworker [55+ M], his wife is threatening me and I have no help


Way to open yourself up to a lawsuit CEO dude.

She should get that CEOs response in writing because there is gold in them thar hills

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

Barudak posted:

She should get that CEOs response in writing because there is gold in them thar hills

Every lawyer in a 10 mile radius felt a disturbance in the force when he said that. "It's as if 10 million dollars payed out at once and then were silenced"

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Slugworth posted:

Ohhh, in that case, husband tried to gently caress au pair, she wasn't into it, disappeared into the night to avoid drama.

I actually met someone in a hostel who did this exactly this.

Except they also broke open the filing cabinet they had locked her passport in so she couldn't leave and they had the balls to complain to the police about it. She's not sure if she can go back to Korea but doesn't seem to consider that a bad thing.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

maskenfreiheit posted:

I actually met someone in a hostel who did this exactly this.

Except they also broke open the filing cabinet they had locked her passport in so she couldn't leave and they had the balls to complain to the police about it. She's not sure if she can go back to Korea but doesn't seem to consider that a bad thing.

Any "job" where they hold your passport is just a setup for slavery or sex trafficking.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

therobit posted:

Any "job" where they hold your passport is just a setup for slavery or sex trafficking.

Sometimes, both!

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Yeah I met a girl from Romania on a cruise, she was an au pair and her host family (or whatever you call them) did that poo poo to her, she had all sorts of hosed up stories, but she stayed there because it was better than her home :(

The wife was super jealous of this girl because she was beautiful and the husband was a creep.

My friends family also have had 2 au pairs from Brazil, my friend married one, so they had to get another and from what I understand they were normal people that just needed a nanny basically, did not try to do weird poo poo.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
Lol teenager angst is never not endearing and funny

My (15 M) friend (15 F) had some intense eye contact.. Did she want me to do something?

quote:

So my friend and I have romantic feelings. I've been thinking about kissing her all week, seeing as she's been kissing me for the past two months every day straight. I haven't done it once. Anyways today was different because we hugged and then she began to kiss me all over my cheek, and then she put her hand on my cheeks and kept patting them, and flashed a gigantic smile. Then we stood there for 10 seconds looking at each other and then I put my hands on her shoulders and she giggled and then looked down and walked away. Did she expect me to do something? Because I was freaking out and kind of froze there.

TL;DR My friend and I hugged and she began patting me on the cheek and we had about 10 seconds of eye contact where we just smiled, but then when I put my hand on her shoulder she laughed and looked down and walked away. Did she want me to do something?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXmLRHnoSAs&t=21s

Nazzadan
Jun 22, 2016



La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend [26M] uses a lot of immature/gross terms which make me [24F] cringe.

Whew, that's 1 year off of matching me and my gf's ages so I'm safe

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

MF_James posted:

Yeah I met a girl from Romania on a cruise, she was an au pair and her host family (or whatever you call them) did that poo poo to her, she had all sorts of hosed up stories, but she stayed there because it was better than her home :(

The wife was super jealous of this girl because she was beautiful and the husband was a creep.

My friends family also have had 2 au pairs from Brazil, my friend married one, so they had to get another and from what I understand they were normal people that just needed a nanny basically, did not try to do weird poo poo.

Uhhh clearly they did because one of them made an arrangement to gently caress her forever?

Over There
Jun 28, 2013

by Azathoth

La Brea Carpet posted:

Lol teenager angst is never not endearing and funny

My (15 M) friend (15 F) had some intense eye contact.. Did she want me to do something?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXmLRHnoSAs&t=21s

Is this an anime?

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Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
just wait until you morons realize one of the reasons women give up on a range of careers is she gets burned out on realizing they're fronts for being sexually exploited

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