maskenfreiheit posted:

stop posting

Cumslut1895 posted:

Read the loving quote

maskenfreiheit posted:

stop posting

maskenfreiheit posted:

stop posting

quote:

I [29M] have been extremely uncomfortable around my wife [28F] ever since I found out she was pregnant and have been distant. It's hurting her and creating problems, but I don't know how to be around her anymore.[new]
submitted 6 minutes ago by badbfeeling

I was very excited about having a baby with her before it happened. We've been together for 9 years now, and we've always wanted to start a family together. The timing was right last year, so we started trying and got pregnant 4 months later. Now my wife is 5 months pregnant, and ever since the day she announced I can't stand being around her.

I don't mean that I dislike her. I mean that it makes me so uncomfortable to the point where I feel like I need to leave the room. I think maybe part of it is cause by the fact that I feel like I am slowly losing her to motherhood. She has changed so much just in these last few months that at times I feel like I don't even know her. There are times where I really do feel like I'm married to a stranger because of all the changes despite the fact that I haven't really changed.

I have tried to ignore my feelings and hide them, but I guess I haven't done a great job because my wife has noticed me being more distant. I have denied that anything is wrong, but she keeps telling me I'm acting weird or not like myself. I can tell it is really starting to bother her, but I don't know what to say. I don't think admitting the pregnancy is creeping me out and so is watching her become a completely different person in preparation for our baby. I feel like that would just make everything worse. Should I be honest with her or just keep this to myself? Is there something I can do to get over being creeped out by the pregnancy and all the changes?

tl;dr: Feel like I don't know my wife since she got pregnant. She is so different from what I have known because of all the changes that I'm no longer comfortable around her. She senses this but I keep denying there is a problem. Should I admit my feelings or keep it to myself? Is there something I can do to get past this?

Pick posted:

I [29M] have been extremely uncomfortable around my wife [28F] ever since I found out she was pregnant and have been distant.

quote:

The girl next door has always flirted with me, like since she moved here. Its almost always a joke though and even my girlfriend laughs about it, like the first time she was here she was with her friends and yelled out with her friends "HEY SEXY, COME OVER HERE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR" and they laughed.

Its always been a kind of tongue and cheek thing. I work out in the front yard often in just basketball shorts and she literally always comes out and sort of aggressively flirts with me with her roommates. Its very obviously joking, my girlfriend is sometimes there and she thinks its hilarious. She kind of yells out obscenities like "wooh yeah work those abs hunk!", or like "wow nice junk mohammed i can see it through your pants!!" or something like that. Its... crude, but honestly that is just her personality. While she flirts very aggressively, I wouldn't ever truly say she has ever made a move. She is semi-friends with my GF now and she knows not to cross that boundary, she just... loves giving commentary on me. Call it sexxxual harrassement, and it probably would be if it was opposite genders, but honestly... I kind of enjoy it. Its funny, she knows its just fun and games. Sorry if this comes off bragging or something I really do not have that amazing of a body, I work out but not THAT much hahah

Anyways, my girlfriend got hit by a car when she was drunk. She broke her femur and leg, her finger, and her wrist. It was absolutely dreadful when it happened. Its been 3 months since and she is still recovering, albeit barely. We haven't had sex at all. It would be far too painful for her. I finger her sometimes but she cant do anything to me.

Anyways, she has been VERY much implying recently that I need to go seek sex on my own if she can't provide. She keeps on saying she is sorry for me that I can't have sex, that I must be jerking off 5 times a day. She keeps halfway joking, like she said "you know we can hire a hooker to come over right?" and then laughs so I never know if she is serious. About a month ago we had a very serious talk about how neither of us have had sexual pleasure in a while and how she feels really bad for me and would do ANYTHING to make me feel better, but neither of us had the gall to bring up cheating and we just ended it.

Anyways, one time the GND (girl next door) was over hanging out with my girlfriend, and when she was leaving she saw me and kind of tugged on my chest hair and bit her lip and walked out. I then saw my girlfriend and she was like "that girl literally cannot get over you, she is obsessed, you should just go over there and gently caress her honestly" and I joking was like "WHOA REALLY???" and she laughed and was like "I mean poo poo, I cant provide you with anything". But it just ended right there.

I wouldn't think of that as anything more than a joke, but honestly she has implied this over and over and over again and she keeps on saying she feels awful for me. What the hell...

I don't even know what to do anymore, we keep constantly joking when the idea comes up because neither of us really want to bring it up seriously. I cant be like "can i cheat on you??", it has to be HER to give express permission.

What the hell do I do? I want to sleep with my girlfriend, but honestly, I would sleep with the neighbor briefly. I do jerk off 5 times a day, dammit. I hate to say it this way but GND SLEEPS AROUND a lot and considering she is friends with my GF I think she would know the context and wouldn't continue after the whole fiasco is over. Someone who is that experienced with sex and sexual relationships knows her boundaries, especially among friends. She kind of reminds me of a smart ditsy type girl, if you get what I mean, someone who acts a bit off but is very clearly intelligent when they aren't acting crazy.

Another aspect to this is that during the beginning of our relationship, both me and my GF slept around. It took us a while for us to truly stay together. For the first year or so we both had one night stands constantly. Its been 4 years since then... but still, its relevant. Cheating has happened before, and it never was that huge of a deal. When we first started dating we were kind of both zluts (just so that automode doesnt get me) and that didnt end when we started.

So anyways, what do??

Edit: Im gonna talk to her right now.

Edit: She said she organized a date with me and the GND for us to gently caress in front of girlfriend, but she wants us to gently caress first alone. then she fell back asleep from pain killers. This is... weird.

Edit: I must have awoken this subreddits ire. Why are people so drat mean, I got like 3 PM's calling me an rear end in a top hat.

tl;dr: Girlfriend keeps implying that I can sleep with my neighbor or someone else, but every time it is brought up, it seems to be a joke. Not sure what to do anymore.

quote:

Is it wrong for me [21F] to expect to be able to rely on my SO [20M] for emotional support?[new]
submitted 14 minutes ago by bedbug13

We've been together for almost two years now, mostly long distance but we're both home for the summer. I just want to say in advance that this issue resurfaced rather recently and I am still upset about it, so that may come out in my writing. And before I go on, I just want to say that I really, really care about my SO a ton and most of the time we're very affectionate and connect deeply.

So I have anxiety issues and get pretty terrifying mood swings and anxiety before my period, and I often want his support during these times. When these things happen I'll usually ask for some sort of contact (whether by phone call when we're long distance or by asking to see him briefly when we're in the same place). However, there have been many times when he just hasn't been available or hasn't been willing to go out of his way to support me.
I've tried to cut him some slack, because this semester has been really stressful for him, and I know he doesn't handle stress well--he becomes irritable and needs a lot of space.

We're also more prone to arguments and are a little more insensitive both when he's stressed and when I'm particularly anxious. So when both happen at the same time, it's disastrous. I pick at things that remind me of other issues we're having, and he tends to blame me for things that aren't entirely my fault and not take me seriously.

He had his finals these past few days, meanwhile I had a friend visiting and some hardcore PMS anxiety. On Monday, we fought over an unresolved issue but made up later in the day and I asked him if he could drop by after his last final and give me a hug. He didn't see the message until he got home and said he was sleepy and was going to go to bed but we could hang out the next day. (Note that he lives about a 10 minute drive away from me.) Tuesday was rough too, and then today he had finished his finals so I asked if he could hang out later. I mentioned that I had been feeling extremely anxious to the point of nausea. He said no, that he really needed to relax, and that I stress him out. Then I told him it was really important for me to see him for just a little bit because I was having a hard time. He remained firm, even when I asked if he could just give me a hug or something. Nope.

The weird thing is that if he's already with me or available and unstressed when I'm having issues he has no problem comforting me--he's extremely affectionate and it always helps a lot to have him around. But if he didn't already set aside time for me, he won't give up anything else to support me.

I know probably most of you will suggest breaking up, and I am certainly considering it because we've been together for so long and this need of mine is not being met at all and is causing me a lot of pain. But I'm much more interested in any advice you might have about how I could have a conversation with him about changing this. He doesn't seem to understand how important it is for him to be there for me when I'm suffering. How can I get this across and ask him to change without dismissing his need for space? Is there any way to compromise?

tl;dr: Boyfriend is usually unavailable when my anxiety is at its worst. Even when I ask him to be there he says no. What can I do?

quote:

Why is my friend [23M] acting like I don't want to be his friend anymore ?Non-Romantic
submitted 32 minutes ago by Brjdkld

I told my friend Jared today that yesterday afternoon the guy that's been trying to get with me for awhile now asked for my number for the second time so this time I gave it to him but I didn't write my number down ,
I verbally gave him my number and he actually remembered it and texted me last night and my guy friend said "well I hope he treats you right" and I said "he isn't my boyfriend I just gave him my number" he also texted back and said "he isn't your boyfriend yet"

and I didn't reply and he texted back "I guess you're not going to be texting me a lot anymore" and I texted back saying "you're my friend we're still going to talk" and he asked me "well why did you give him your number now and not the first time he asked ?"

Tl:DR; I never said I was going to stop talking to him or neglect him. All I did was give the guy my number and now he's making me feel like I abandoned him.

quote:

Why is my friend [23M] acting like I don't want to be his friend anymore

quote:

I've known my boyfriend for 8 months, but we've only been dating for a month now. He is my first boyfriend and I will be his third.

I am very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I know I'm not the most gorgeous girl on the planet. However, my boyfriend rarely compliments my looks. He doesn't ever send me "hey beautiful" good morning texts or anything like that. The most I can get from him is "you're good-looking." And the only times he'd compliment me is if I kind of imply that I want one. Whereas I freely tell him that he's handsome, etc and he'd respond like "you're lying" or "I don't believe you." I'm not sure what's up with that.

I know he really likes me. However, I think it's because of my personality and body. I guess body counts as looks, but it disappoints me that he can't say that anything nice about my face or hair or smile. He even once joked that I have a nice body but not-so-nice face. There's nothing wrong with my face! It's probably because I don't have blonde hair or blue eyes (I'm not trying to sound racist, but I have a feeling this is his preference, and that's okay).

Tonight he told me that he "has pretty high standards, and won't date anyone below me" (I took this to mean that I'm the absolute minimum he's willing to accept to date). He also rates girls and I'm too terrified to ask him to rate me. Every time he makes these comments I feel ugly and undesired and I have cried on many occasions over this.

To make matters worse, both of his exes are stunning. Like beyond stunning. One of them competes in local pageants. Then there's plain Jane me...sometimes I wonder if he's dating me because I'm too easy and inexperienced. I mean overall, we always enjoy each other's company and I know he cares deeply but is this even worth it? Am I wrong for expecting to feel pretty? Am I being petty for considering breaking off this relationship?

quote:

Growing up my parents lived near a friend of my moms. She has a son(AJ), we grew up together. He was a friend and bully, just kid stuff really. My parents and I moved to America when I was 12. I've only seen him once since then and it was at my wedding.

He spent most of his time glaring at my husband[33M, married for 4 years now]. He and my husband almost got into a fight because he was staring at me but AJs mother managed to break it up. Even now 4 years later AJ is still upset that I didn't marry him.

My mother and his are still great friends. My parents invited both of them to spend a month here, my parents live next door to us.

What can I do to make it less awkward? My parents are going to want us to come over for dinner at least once a week and it would break their hearts to say no.

tl;dr: My childhood bully/friend thought we would have an arranged marriage. We didn't, he hates my husband. He and his mom will be staying with my parents, who live next door, for a month.

quote:

[–]UltimaStone 6 hours ago

Why does he think he was promised you?

[–]Throwaway5353627 [S] 6 hours ago

Because we grew up together.


[–]DDYLK 6 hours ago

is this a cultural thing or is he just super confused?


[–]Throwaway5353627 [S] 5 hours ago

Arranged marriages are normal but he's just a moron.

quote:

[–]bobkabobabob 5 hours ago

Don't children typically have more than one playmate? Why does he specifically think you were his future wife over others/he was your future husband over others? I think people are asking because it seems like your parents might have given him or his parents that impression, either directly or indirectly. If that's the case, then your parents need to confess that they lied or misled them and you never knew about it, because they apparently think it was all set until you "met someone" and decided to "abandon your engagement".


[–]Throwaway5353627 [S] 5 hours ago

Neither my parents or his ever made it seem that way. His mother was upset that he even thought of marrying me.

Pick posted:

quote:

To make matters worse, both of his exes are stunning. Like beyond stunning. One of them competes in local pageants. Then there's plain Jane me...sometimes I wonder if he's dating me because I'm too easy and inexperienced. I mean overall, we always enjoy each other's company and I know he cares deeply but is this even worth it? Am I wrong for expecting to feel pretty? Am I being petty for considering breaking off this relationship?

maskenfreiheit posted:

super-attractive people can be kind of terrible partners. they know they can have anyone they want, so they don't feel a need to be particuarly kind or put much effort into relationships.

Pick posted:

Also they often date a lot of people, so it doesn't really mean much if at one point you briefly dated a super hot person, because they're always trying new stuff to try to figure out what they want. For them it's no-risk to date a bunch of different types and find out what they like.

Pick posted:

Motherfucker posted:

That dude does sound like a pretty dude which also explains why he isn't free with the emotional support and whatnot cuz it doesn't occur to him to need to do that sort of thing and he's probably never had to grapple with body image issues. Also explains why she's not more pissed off with his behavior though despite him being slightly an rear end in a top hat and clearly the more comfortable of the two in the relationship.

Obviously the solution is to cut his face up with a razor so he's ugly.

therobit posted:

I noticed he did jot mention how she is becoming a different person at all, just that she is. I bet pregnancy grosses him out. If so he's a shitheel.

therobit posted:

People who constantly have anxiety and are always in need of emotional support can be loving exhausting.

therobit posted:

I guess I kinda think that if you knock a girl up you shouldn't be grossed out by the perfectly natural results of that. You break it, you buy it.

maskenfreiheit posted:

yeah, i briefly dated someone really attractive, and it felt like everything was take it or leave it. and every disagreement had an implied "or else the relationship ends".

And when you finally put your foot down on something minor, it will get spun as you being inflexible/stubborn/(insert adjective here that manages to imply not wanting to go out to eat that evening is some mild form of abuse)

Pick posted:

Oh also she dated an engineer who she cheated on to be with and he bought her a new car. Little did he know, she was already cheating on him by the time she left the guy she was cheating on to be with him.

quote:

So about three days ago my sexy rear end brown skinned neighbor comes ringing my bell about how she couldn't get her back door open and she wanted a drill basically bust the lock. I offered to do it, it took me about 20 minutes to fix the situation. On my way out I asked her about a dinner date she promised me last year in her new kitchen that was being renovated at the time. She said "I never told you that, but for thanksgiving you might get some of my pie". I asked if I can get a 'sweet kis' with that. She said to just be happy with what I get.

Lo and behold, the doorbell rings lil while ago, I hop up and look out and see her. I spritz a lil cologne, throws on my fresh black silk robe, drop to magnums in my robe pocked and gets to the door all calm n poo poo. She whips out a dish with aluminum foil on top talking about "here's some sweet potato pie hun" In a teacher to student type way. I thanked her and everything.. but this isnt what i thought she meant by I might get "pie".

tl;dr: Neighbor cleverly gave me blue balls through clever use of double language.

Cumslut1895 posted:

why did you continue to be friends with her?

Cumslut1895 posted:

why did you continue to be friends with her?

Pick posted:

She would cuddle with me and kiss me sometimes

Cumslut1895 posted:

aww, you let someone abuse a loved one for sex.




kind of like that women who molested her kid on camera.

Breetai posted:

Keep the gloves up, there's a good chap.

Cumslut1895 posted:

aww, you let someone abuse a loved one for sex.




kind of like that women who molested her kid on camera.

Improbable Lobster posted:

Not really dude

Pick posted:

I don't think my or anyone else's behavior ever changed anything she ever intended to do or did.

ArbitraryC posted:

I found the best comment:

quote:

and I looked her directly in the eyes & said, "I will disobey you, Mother. You will not forbid me to see anyone, and you will not choose my friends.""

quote:

r/relationshipsRelationships

u/peacebypeace

I'm not sure whether this is a ridiculous thing to be concerned about but it's really upsetting me. Over the past couple of weeks, while I have been up studying for upcomimg exams, my partner has been locking me out of our bedroom at night.

Tonight is the third time it's happened and he says he just accidentally locked it and fell asleep so didn't hear me knocking or trying to open the door. I accepted this the first time but at night 3 over this short period, and considering the fact he's never done this before, what the heck is going on?!

I have had to sleep three nights in a spare bedroom now. I feel very disrespected and almost like an afterthought in his life. He will say nothing more to me about it than to repeat it is accidental.

tl;dr: Partner keeps "forgetting" to leave the bedroom door unlocked for me when he sleeps at night. What is this all about and am I overreacting by feeling like crap? If not, how can I deal with this

Pick posted:

He jerks off FIVE TIMES A DAY?!

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

My [32 F] partner [30 M] of 1.5 years keeps locking me out of our bedroom

Haifisch posted:

Today on "what did you think was going to happen?":

I [32f] forced my long-time gf [27f] to come out to her parents, her parents now hate her, and now she's shutting me out

Not that there's many happy endings in this sort of situation, but seriously, what did OP think was going to happen when her GF came out to homophobic parents?