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tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

dudeness posted:

Me [20's M], my sexy rear end Neighbor [40ish F] just bought over sweet potato pie.

What a dork.

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Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

maskenfreiheit posted:

ah the old if i wait long enough she'll date me oh poo poo she met somone else what a bitch

But I won't tell her how I feel. She'll just see one day how I carry her printer everywhere for her and it'll be just like the moooovieees.

StupidSexyVaultGuy
Jul 26, 2003




Seriously.

Who bitches about free homemade sweet potato pie?

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

Seriously.

Who bitches about free homemade sweet potato pie?

I slipped on robe and wizard ha bathrobe...

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

Seriously.

Who bitches about free homemade sweet potato pie?

sweet potato pie is gross

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

YeahTubaMike posted:

sweet potato pie is gross

i disagree

PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 15:28 on May 18, 2017

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
Super attractive people are actually just super insecure, because they don't know if they're really a whole person.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014
Am pretty person, can confirm am soulless, like gingers

I (25F) drank too much and embarrassed myself in front of my boyfriend's mother (46F) and her friends

quote:

u/blackoutidiot2
I've been with my boyfriend for six months. Our relationship is great, we're looking into moving in together eventually, and everything is going really well. This post is not about my boyfriend, but his mother.

His mom has always been nice to me, but distant. It was clear when we first started dating that she didn't expect me around for long. She's warmed to me, though.

From what my boyfriend says, his mother has always been a wild child who loves to party but has mellowed a bit. I figured, who doesn't like to have fun? She planned a night out of drinking and dancing for her and some friends and begged my boyfriend and I to come along. We agreed thinking we would probably leave early.

What I learned is that his mother can put away a lot of alcohol, and has to have other people drinking with her. I ordered a glass of wine. Not too long after, she ordered two rounds of shots for everyone. I didnt really want the second, but everyone kept encouraging me and I felt really pressured.

Maybe 15 minutes after, his mom orders herself, my boyfriend, and me Irish car bombs. I knew what they were but have never drank one before. My boyfriend was having a good time and I was trying to make a good impression so I agreed. I should not have!! I was unable to finish the entire drink, especially with his mom shouting at me to open my throat. I got down maybe 2/3 and the rest had curdled. His mom tried to get me to drink the rest, saying I had to finish it but my boyfriend stepped in and said I didn't need to. She called me a party pooper.

After the Irish car bomb, I was feeling a little sick, so I got a ginger ale and sat down. She came over to check on me, and asked what I was drinking. She then decided that it wasn't enough, and brought me a whiskey ginger. I tried to convince her not to but she insisted. I took it to be polite and she waited and watched for me to drink it. I sipped it, but I had no intention to finish it. This was the end folks. That's the last thing I remember.

Apparently, I told my boyfriend I was feeling pretty sick, but no one was ready to leave yet. I walked to the bathroom and threw up. I came back to the table and couldn't find my back pack. I told my boyfriend I wanted to find my back pack and leave because I felt sick. His mom tried to get us to stay and have me drink more whiskey ginger to settle my stomach. I walked back to the bathroom and started crying in a stall. One of his mom's friends heard me, and let my boyfriend know what was going on. He called us a cab and we left.

The next morning I'm sick, confused, and embarrassed. I ask my boyfriend what happened and he told me everything. I felt awful that I blacked out. My boyfriend had to take something to his mom's house that afternoon, so I went with to apologize for how I acted. Her greeting to me was "Hey there, spoil sport!" I didn't know what to say and just kind of said hello back. She then told my boyfriend how we had to all go out drinking again soon because she needed to teach me how to drink without me becoming a hot mess. It was a joke...but it hurt.

I'm really confused now. There's a line from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt something like, "I am always amazed by the lengths women go to to avoid being rude." Why did I let it go so far? I usually don't have boundary issues, I try to stick up for myself. I tried to make a good impression but made a horrible one. I haven't blacked out since sophomore year of college. I feel so so so loving stupid. Like I'm a joke to them now.

I tried talking to my boyfriend, but he didn't understand why I was upset. He says I should have just said no about the drinks, and it's my fault I blacked out, but that no one judged me for it. I feel like I can't face his family or their friends anymore. I guess I'm looking for help on processing my feelings on this. I feel mad and guilty at the same time. How do I come back from this in everyone's eyes?

Tldr: Drank waay too much at my boyfriend's mothers get together. How do I get through my embarrassment?

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:




My [32 F] partner [30 M] of 1.5 years keeps locking me out of our bedroom

If you read the comments on this one the woman has been staying up much later than usual to study and they always, always lock the door while sleeping to prevent the evil spirits from getting in. Seriously.

He locks the door out of habit.

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

it takes a lot to stand out as the Most Whitest Post in this dread alabaster spire of Iacub but there you go, redefining what it means to be Caucacious. bravo you no salt using flavor bandit. bravo.

actually this is the whitest post

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

I was really close friends with a woman who was very, veeeeerryyyy good-looking, and she was constantly pulling the most horrific crap on her boyfriends imaginable. Definitely including cheating on them, openly. And yet she only ever broke up with them, never the other way around.

There was this psych study once that showed people will overwhelmingly let someone cut in line for a copier as long as they gave a reason, if if that reason was "I really need to make some copies".

These women seem to take a similar strategy.

"I asked you to go out dancing and you didn't and I wanted to have sex with the guy I was dancing with (who wasn't you because you didn't come out like I saidddd)"

I went through a brief period of ennui that I hadn't been in a long term relationship, but looking back every time I saw someone was a crappy person and it wasn't changing I dumped them, which I don't think is inferior to plugging along in an unhappy relationship.

Cumslut1895 posted:

if you're going to be technical then no, not remotely.


yeah, but you didn't have to keep associating with her. I've dumped friends for abusing their girlfriends before.

Cheating on your partner isn't abuse.

Calling everything under the sun that is a lovely behavior "abuse" cheapens that label.

many johnnys
May 17, 2015

maskenfreiheit posted:

Cheating on your partner isn't abuse.

Calling everything under the sun that is a lovely behavior "abuse" cheapens that label.

I much prefer his post right before comparing hanging out with a cheater to the production of child pornography, yes very reasonable.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe
Sounds like momma wants to make sure her possible daughter in law is an alcoholic, too.

Adam Vegas
Apr 14, 2013



many johnnys posted:

I much prefer his post right before comparing hanging out with a cheater to the production of child pornography, yes very reasonable.

that dude has spent an inordinate amount of his time in this thread desperately trying to dunk on Pick and failing every time

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
When I troll pick it's cheeky and fun.

He's just mean :colbert:

Adam Vegas
Apr 14, 2013



maskenfreiheit posted:

When I troll pick it's cheeky and fun.

He's just mean :colbert:

yeah I used 'desperately' because there is a genuine air of sweaty desperation to cumslut's attempts to TEAR DOWN that FEMALE

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

it takes a lot to stand out as the Most Whitest Post in this dread alabaster spire of Iacub but there you go, redefining what it means to be Caucacious. bravo you no salt using flavor bandit. bravo.

:psyboom:

I'm black, my parents are black, my grandparents and great-grandparents are black, and I think sweet potato pie is gross

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Just gonna back up YeahTubaMike, sweet potato pie is vile.

Rusty Rickshaw
Apr 30, 2008

Barudak posted:

Just gonna back up YeahTubaMike, sweet potato pie is vile.

This is the derail that tears this thread apart

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Anything with "sweet" in its name is a trap.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


Barudak posted:

Just gonna back up YeahTubaMike, sweet potato pie is vile.

That and pumpkin pie:

Are they even pies or some kind of sweetened vegetable flan, no thanks.

E- ok Pumpkin is actually a crappy fruit.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 14:50 on May 18, 2017

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014

YeahTubaMike posted:

:psyboom:

I'm black, my parents are black, my grandparents and great-grandparents are black, and I think sweet potato pie is gross

Yeah, but you're one of the spud ones

Guy (28/M) seeing a (23/F), I made a mistake, is there a chance to reconcile?
Dating

quote:

2 points 4 comments submitted 3 years ago by BeyondDedication to r/relationships
Hey all, hoping you guys/gals could help me out, I’m in a tough situation. Let me start by saying I’m a “relationship guy”, I hate dating, and often move into relationships quickly as I feel I can more so be myself and also get a better picture of that person. This can be both good and bad!

I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks, we actually met on Eharmony, she was the one who initiated contact.

First date I took her out for sushi near her place (in NYC), the conversation was great, lots of smiles and laughs. At the end of the night I went in for the kiss, she playfully turned away and said “not on the first date”, but it was playful, we both laughed and went on our ways (I like the fact she’s traditional!).

Second date she came around by me (Connecticut), we went out for dinner again and the conversation got more serious. We both made it clear we were interested in a long-term relationship, we were talking about the show Millionaire Matchmaker and agreed to follow Patti’s rule, no sex before monogamy. It was more so my decision as I wanted to show her my intentions. She talked about how many kids, things we could do in the future, past experiences, expectations, it was very serious but still a fun conversation. We went back to my condo, I put on Moonrise Kingdom (a very sweet movie), we talked more, lots of kissing, touching, but nothing sexual. She gave me all the signs, but I held back. I asked her how she got into those pants because they were so tight (it was relevant to the convo), she stretched out the waist and revealed her thong. When we were kissing I gave her tongue and she said “don’t do that, it makes me think of bad things.” I kept my restraint, we ended the night with a good kiss, and expressed how we want wait to see each other again.

Here’s my mistake… next date I went over to her place and cooked her dinner. First thing I notice is that she is dressed down, yoga pants and sweatshirt. It’s 7-8pm and she said she still feels a bit hung-over from last night (odd?). I’m fine with all this, we just were going to have a relaxing night. Dinner was great, I made filet mignon, asparagus, and sweet potato fries… she devoured hers faster than I did (I’m twice her size 235 6’1” bodybuilder vs. 115 5’2”) and said she loved it. At one point we were in the kitchen and I embraced her from behind, I attempted to kiss her but she turned away. Later on during the night we were on the couch watching the Olympics. A few times I tried to get closer, she got up to do something then sat right back further on the couch. At this point I should have just chilled, but I really like her so I felt insecure. Am I doing something to cause this behavior? I’m a very open communicator so I flat out asked her, “I feel like your acting different today, are you upset with me?” She again said she doesn’t feel well and just wanted to chill and I said that’s fine, I just wanted to spend time with her anyway. At this point there was no turning back, shortly after she sais now she feels bad. I told her she has no reason to, but this didn’t matter to her. We repeat these things back and forth a few times, never getting heated or anything, but she sais she doesn’t want to fight (we weren’t fighting at all). She asks me to leave! I’m stunned, I profusely apologize and am become a shell of man, it was embarrassing, I even said “I guess I probably won’t here from you again”. She told me she needs to think and will contact me when she figures it out. I don’t want to sound like a chauvinist, but I think it’s relevant to say all the signs indicated that she probably was on her period (sorry), dressing down, not feeling well, not wanting to be touched; it’s hard to believe one is hung-over at that time, she said she only had 4 drinks, but this is something that is certainly acceptable to fib about.

At this point anyone would think there is no chance. But we had a VERY strong connection, prior to this lots of I can’t wait to see you texts, everyone with a smiley face, all this talk about our potential future. I was devastated. I waited two days and texted her saying I feel terrible, please allow me to explain, and I asked for her email address. She literally sent it within 20 seconds, no exaggeration. I put together this long email, basically pouring my heart out, saying she makes me weak and it’s a new feeling for me and I didn’t know how to handle it, asking her to give me a chance and start fresh. I’m awaiting her response still since this morning.
Is this over? How dumb was I for asking her if there was something wrong? I think if there is potential for a relationship the ability to openly communicate is very important.
tl;dr: She was acting very different so I asked her why, may have ruined a great opportunity.

Girl swerved so fast it gave the poor boy brain problems, all his posts after that are about taking steroids, changing careers and this gem:

Me [30M] Confused by dating. Why kiss if uninterested?

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Bubblyblubber posted:

Yeah, but you're one of the spud ones

Guy (28/M) seeing a (23/F), I made a mistake, is there a chance to reconcile?
Dating


Girl swerved so fast it gave the poor boy brain problems, all his posts after that are about taking steroids, changing careers and this gem:

Me [30M] Confused by dating. Why kiss if uninterested?

He doesn't sound nearly as awkward as most people we make fun of, so I'd put money on she's getting serious with someone else.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

YeahTubaMike posted:

:psyboom:

I'm black, my parents are black, my grandparents and great-grandparents are black, and I think sweet potato pie is gross

i'm an rear end in a top hat and i'm sorry.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Sweet potatoes are one of gods mistakes imo.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

maskenfreiheit posted:

super-attractive people can be kind of terrible partners. they know they can have anyone they want, so they don't feel a need to be particuarly kind or put much effort into relationships.

You are the least entertaining poster in this thread right now and possibly the dumbest since you cannot follow a quoted post.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Sweet potatoes are one of gods mistakes imo.
How can you be so incredibly wrong in so few words

sweet potato best potato

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood
if someone shows up to my party with marshmallows baked onto sweet potato i force them to dig 2 graves. 1 for the marshmallows, 1 for the good sweet potato dish that didnt get made. then we laugh at them at the party.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

I enjoy all pies, sweet potato, pumpkin, ur mum's, pecan pie, apple.

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...

Former FWB (25 M) and present best friend asked to watch Me (27 F) and My BF(26 M) while we had sex, refuses to keep in contact after watching us


quote:

Hi. This is a unique scenario. Well atleast new to me!

2 years ago I hooked up with a guy I met on OKC, we were FWBS for a few months, we stayed on as friends and he became my best friend along the way. I feel super comfortable with him, my family knows him and keeps in touch with him, he is invited to all of our gatherings and important family occasions.

He expressed his desire recently, to watch me have sex with someone else on FaceTime. I was hesitant at first, but he managed to convince me.

My current BF was okay with it and 2 days ago we decided to do it. We switched the FaceTime and did the deed as he watched. It was quite a bit of fun I will admit. Our lovemaking was intense and extremely satisfying. After, we slept off.

I woke up to 105 calls from my friend. I dialled back immediately. He said that he hated the way I was behaving, like why did I have to give him several blowjobs and why I rode him. Why I was acting like a love struck teenager eager to make love, he commented on how my BF wasn't into it and I was forcing myself on him. He said the intimacy was disgusting and called me a whore.

I was taken aback, i couldn't process why he was saying such weird things. He said he was "done" with me and blocked me everywhere. I have been trying to reach out and understand what happened over email, he has apparently blocked me there too.
I am at my wits end, I don't know what I did to anger him? I miss my friend, but he is being unreasonable, right ?

TLDR: Ex FWB and best friend wanted to watch me have sex. Watched, behaved belligerently and ended all ties with me, leaving me confused.

From the comments:

quote:

well uh hopefully he didnt record it

quote:

Oh my god.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

WoodrowSkillson posted:

You are the least entertaining poster in this thread right now and possibly the dumbest since you cannot follow a quoted post.

stop posting

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
quote:
well uh hopefully he didnt record it

quote:
Oh my god.


gently caress, people are soooooooooooooooooooooo dumb.

Clark Nova
Jul 18, 2004

That's great. He's wrong for demanding a live action porno then being upset that her new boyfriend hosed her better than he ever did. She's wrong for wanting to maintain contact with this goober. They're all wrong for going through with the whole mess in the first place.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

That and pumpkin pie:

Are they even pies or some kind of sweetened vegetable flan, no thanks.

E- ok Pumpkin is actually a crappy fruit.

Wow I didn't realize I was sharing this thread with a monster. I guess this really is the derail that kills this thread.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


not /r/relationships, but leave it to Reddit to jump into a thread where a guy goes "for reasons I won't get into I'm currently homeless but still have a car and steady income" with:

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
My [24F] girlfriend [22F] of 4.5 years said she doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore and I broke up with her on the spot. I don't know if that was right.


quote:

Me and my girlfriend have been together since I was 19 and she was 18. We're each other's first loves and first everything really. We were random roommates in college so our relationship has always been built around being close to one another. I graduated last year and she stayed an extra year so it's been the first time we've ever had to be long distance. Going from seeing each other everyday for a majority of the year to seeing each other maybe once a month is a big change.

Because of this distance it seems as though we've been doing more "fighting" and getting into petty disagreements and things like that. We've been having serious discussions about the future and we decided to have another one.

So around 1am we decide to have this convo and we ended up arguing a bit and I just wanted reassurance that even through that she loved me. (I get needy and insecure and I know it's an issue but whatever.) Then she eventually let it slip that apparently for the past few days she has been debating on whether she's in love with me or not. Upon hearing that something in me just kinda broke. I have insecurities and so I'll sometimes wonder about things like that but I never seriously thought that she maybe didn't love me.

This was all over FaceTime and then I broke up with her. Just point blank because I was feeling like after 4.5 years if you're falling out of love with me or if you don't know then why am I even with you?

She ended up calling back like 2 times to basically be like "I'm in shock, what just happened?" And I maintained my position. I was/am hurt and it was like 4 in the morning and I just viewed it as taking a stand for myself.

Woke up like 4 hours later after basically crying myself to sleep. For a brief moment I forgot about the breakup and I was fine, then I remembered and had a huge wave of anxiety and doubt. I don't know if I did the right thing. Was I being too rash? She didn't say she didn't love me I just basically told her that her doubt and the fact that she couldn't say she did told her answer. She technically also said she couldn't say that she wasn't in love with me either. I really don't know what to do. She's literally my best friend and girlfriend all wrapped into one and I don't know how to give this up or if I should've so quickly?

Like her birthday is in a few days and she just graduated and we were arguing earlier in the day about me not being about to see her for possibly a couple more weeks and I just don't know.

Please give your insight on this. Like should we talk more, was I rash? We've always been 100% honest with each other and did I just like throw it away or am I just spiraling because I don't know what to do?

tl;dr: Girlfriend of 4.5 years and I had a serious discussion, and she let it slip that she doesn't know if she's in love with me or not. She said she's been thinking about this for a few days (after I raised some concerns due to insecurities). I broke up with her on the spot. I don't know if that was the right decision or fair at all. Please help.

Kelp Me! posted:

not /r/relationships, but leave it to Reddit to jump into a thread where a guy goes "for reasons I won't get into I'm currently homeless but still have a car and steady income" with:



spoiler alert: women can tell judges they are scared of angry men living in cars too

maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 16:28 on May 18, 2017

Bunni-kat
May 25, 2010

Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
Insecure or not, if someone says after nearly 5 years "I don't know if I love you," severing is probably the right move.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


maskenfreiheit posted:

My [24F] girlfriend [22F] of 4.5 years said she doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore and I broke up with her on the spot. I don't know if that was right.



spoiler alert: women can tell judges they are scared of angry men living in cars too

Well that too but it's more funny that the immediate response to "I am homeless but still have my car and job but I don't want to say why" is "loving WOMEN MAN THIS IS WHY I CHOOSE NOT TO GET MARRIED"

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Motherfucker posted:

I dunno man, pregnancy is gross. Plus he's pretty clearly unhappy with the effects it is having on him as a person and his relationship. He probably needs therapy but I don't think he's actively a shitheel just because he's inexplicably uncomfortable with pregnancy.


Agree't. He probably doesn't realize he's walking on eggshells.

I bet it's more that he hasn't really internalized becoming a father yet. And his wife's physical changes are a constant reminder that their lives will literally never be the same again. And he's not sure/able to process it yet. So therapy would be a good idea because his loving wife needs a partner right now and may be feeling the same anxiety.

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Clark Nova
Jul 18, 2004

I live in my car not due to my own horrible life choices and personality faults, but because the matriarchy will surely subpoena me for false rape allegations as soon as I have a mailing address to send a certified letter to.

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