/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I don't know, it does kind of feel like asexual people could feel like they're being picked on if they run across conversations like this?

# ? May 20, 2017 16:32

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:43

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

If you want to feel appreciated you should probably not post in gbs

# ? May 20, 2017 16:33

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Pick: it does kind of feel like asexual people could feel like they're being picked on if they run across conversations like this?

Somehow, also Pick: Never date people with aspergers, they ruin everyone they touch.

# ? May 20, 2017 16:38

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

I worked with an asexual guy during an internship in SF. He was pretty low key about it aside from being annoyed people continually found it weird he didn't want to bang his way across SF like most of the interns.

Good guy, always down to check out a new restaurant. (Guess he had to get pleasure somehow)

# ? May 20, 2017 16:38

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Pick posted:

I don't know, it does kind of feel like asexual people could feel like they're being picked on if they run across conversations like this?

Asexuals are the autists of the LGBTQ community

i feel extremely compelled to say I'm joking

# ? May 20, 2017 16:41

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

I mean, I get that assexual people (self-described or not) can feel discriminated when people treat them like they need to be loving someone to be happy, but let's be honest, in the great scheme of things that is one of the most harmless things you can be possibly annoyed by. It is not like there are organized hate groups harrassing them or something.

The poster who said they are the childfree of the sex world is perfectly on point and now Tumblr assexuals make a lot more sense to me.

# ? May 20, 2017 16:45

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

ZearothK posted:

I mean, I get that assexual people (self-described or not) can feel discriminated when people treat them like they need to be loving someone to be happy, but let's be honest, in the great scheme of things that is one of the most harmless things you can be possibly annoyed by. It is not like there are organized hate groups harrassing them or something.

The poster who said they are the childfree of the sex world is perfectly on point and now Tumblr assexuals make a lot more sense to me.

you're welcome

# ? May 20, 2017 16:49

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Im fine with asexuals but the ones who are only in straight relationships who keep trying to push themselves into lgbt spaces and say poo poo like I can totally call myself gay I'm ACE are the worst and I have run into many of them irl

I have a mega low libido and could probably call myself some sort of asexual but that's mainly because of medication I take, I can't really identify at all with the community. I find it all very bizarre

# ? May 20, 2017 16:56

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Troposphere posted:

Im fine with asexuals but the ones who are only in straight relationships who keep trying to push themselves into lgbt spaces and say poo poo like I can totally call myself gay I'm ACE are the worst and I have run into many of them irl

I have a mega low libido and could probably call myself some sort of asexual but that's mainly because of medication I take, I can't really identify at all with the community. I find it all very bizarre

how do you handle that dating? do you find other low libido ppl or open up the relationship?

# ? May 20, 2017 16:58

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Be goon, don't date

# ? May 20, 2017 17:01

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I wonder if there is an equivalent for terfs for asexuals and those with low libido due to meds

# ? May 20, 2017 17:01

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

maskenfreiheit posted:

how do you handle that dating? do you find other low libido ppl or open up the relationship?

I'm not dating right now while I get my health under control which has been a four year struggle. when I do start dating again idk it's pretty easy to find other low sex drive lesbians from my experience haha

# ? May 20, 2017 17:02

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Psycho Society posted:

"I didn't think the memento of your dead sister you always keep on your desk was that important"

"I decided to keep asking you probing questions about her, who I know you never want to talk about, in a public setting, and then ignore obvious expressions of pain when i don't stop."

Reeeaaaaal piece of work

I found one person who's like "well, you've said your sorry and that's all you can do" and everyone else jumped on that with "she doesn't sound sorry at all. Everything about her post is cold and insensitive Jesus loving Christ"

So I think Reddit has this one handled

onetwofee posted:

You cleaned up but didn't bother to find the arm?

OP posted:

We tried, I'm sure it's around there somewhere. I'll look again, I hope.

DaddyRocka posted:

I don't think you tried very hard. Your entire posts and replies come off as not really giving a poo poo. Are you just looking for a way to get back in BFs good graces without actually caring?

# ? May 20, 2017 17:07

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Troposphere posted:

Im fine with asexuals but the ones who are only in straight relationships who keep trying to push themselves into lgbt spaces and say poo poo like I can totally call myself gay I'm ACE are the worst and I have run into many of them irl

yeah, this

also I've seen enough of them make jokes about LGBT people being oversexed and diseased that I tend not to sympathize with them being picked on, at least anymore :shrug:

# ? May 20, 2017 17:08

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

I suppose it doesn't help that all the loudly self proclaimed asexuals and demisexual people I know have also very loudly and publicly been waaaay into gay erp and show everyone their gay porn.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:12

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

What is erp

# ? May 20, 2017 17:16

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Its almost like its more important to these people that everyone notices them than it is what they're trying to get people to notice them for..

# ? May 20, 2017 17:16

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

Blue Train posted:

What is erp

Erotic role play lol

# ? May 20, 2017 17:17

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Lately I've (24/F) been feeling like my boyfriend (27/M) is getting too comfortable, and then something gross happened and I don't know how to feel.

quote:

Hi Reddit, I'm using a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my account.

Anyway, so I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He's a super sweet guy and is generally a very good partner. However, I have a giant concern and I don't know if this is normal: he's getting too comfortable.

Yes, being comfortable is great. You should be able to be yourself. But his level of comfort-ability is beginning to make me resent him, but I'm not sure if I'm just being stubborn or this is a legitimate reason to break up.

Here's a list of the things that have gotten worse that really bother me (and what I've done to try to help): he's gaining alot of weight. When we first started dating, he was fit and sexy, but now I'm just not attracted to him anymore. This is going to sound so inconsiderate, but our sex life has suffered for it. It seems more like a chore because the spark just isn't there. He's put on at least 50 pounds, does not take care of himself (eats junkfood all day and does not care what he puts in his mouth), and makes zero effort to live somewhat of a healthy lifestyle.

I have encouraged him to join my gym so we could go together (he always says he'll join next week but never does), and I even taught him some healthy, easy recipes so he can make nutritious meals when I'm not around. I'm VERY into health/fitness, so it's really difficult to be around someone who just does not care about their appearance or health. In addition to his weight, he doesn't care about his physical appearance either. We used to always get dressed up and go out (even if it was just a chill bar, we would at least put on jeans). Now, all he wants to do it wear stained tank tops and basketball shorts. He doesn't care about what he wears and doesn't try to impress me.

When we started dating, he was very ambitious and had a lot of dreams. But about a year into it, he stopped applying for jobs or looking for ways to advance. He is perfectly fine "coasting" in his current teaching job (I make more money than him, I work in engineering). He just expects that we will get married and he won't need to apply himself to other careers or himself really. I tried to help by applying for better jobs FOR him, but he never cared. I even wrote his resume and cover letter for everything, but he was just really "eh."

He's become so lazy, just so willing to do the bare minimum. I'm convinced it's because of me, because he finally found someone to "settle down" with and feels like he no longer needs to try.

These are two really big things, but there are a million other examples that kind of fall into these umbrellas. But something today happened that I just cant look past, and it's really really bothering me.

We went to the beach today, and we had a great time. We have been fighting lately because he's been acting so childish (literally pouting when he doesn't get his way, making excuses to justify behavior, not being accountable) but today was great. Until the ride home. While we were at the beach, he told me he needed to use the restroom. But I realized that he never went. When we got into the car, he told me he needed to go #2 really bad, but decided to drive home anyway. Our drive is like an hour long, and we even stopped at a rest stop and he still didn't go to the bathroom. Finally, when we were like 10 minutes away from my apartment, I notice he starts acting really weird. He was sitting weird in the driver's seat. He says, "can I change my pants at your place?" It took me a millisecond to realize what happened - he poo poo himself. LITERALLY poo poo his pants.

The thing that baffled me the most, is that he DID NOT CARE. He was not embarrassed. He didn't care the entire car instantly smelled like poop, making me gag. He didn't care his pants and car seat was completely covered in poo poo. It wasn't an accident, he didn't suddenly have a bad food reaction and lose it. After I composed myself, asked him why the gently caress he just poo poo his pants, he said "I had to go, didn't think it was that big of a deal." WHAT?!?! While some people might be "ok" with this, I just can't.

I really loving hate that my relationship is so comfortable that my boyfriend can poo poo his pants willingly while driving me home, knowing his house is 5 minutes from mine. I'm sorry, I'm just uncomfortable with it, and I'm grossed out. I don't want to see it, and I think my resentment has been building up this whole time and this just blew me over the edge.

I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I am being unreasonable. Do people often become so comfortable that it's too uncomfortable for the other person? Is it worth breaking up? I don't know if I can continue like this, and whenever I try to talk about my feelings, he pouts and shuts down... doesn't want to hear it.

tl;dr: My boyfriend of 2 years has gotten more childish, fat, and gross. So much to the point that I can't handle it, am I being unreasonable?

# ? May 20, 2017 17:18

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Xun posted:

Erotic role play lol

Lol of course

# ? May 20, 2017 17:18

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

Asexuals trying to wedge into LGBTQ when they face zero legal, employment, etc. discrimination and/or possible physical violence against their person for their sexuality seems pretty appropriative and gross to me but gotta get those Tumblr oppression points somehow I guess.

You don't like sex. Nobody gives a gently caress.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:19

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Troposphere posted:

I'm not dating right now while I get my health under control which has been a four year struggle. when I do start dating again idk it's pretty easy to find other low sex drive lesbians from my experience haha

Isn't that all lesbians? You go on your first date, you move in together on the second date, and stop having sex about two weeks in after that.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:35

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

Why would anyone marry an asexual person. Why would you want to be with someone who states in no uncertain terms that they are not sexually attracted to you and that it is impossible for that to ever change. "Thanks for letting us have sex tonight, I know what an unpleasant chore it is for you."

A friend of mine and his husband haven't had sex with each other in over a decade? The live with each other, sleep in the same bed, share finances, have a great relationship, they just don't like having sex with each other although they do sleep with other people. They take care of each other, they love each other, they like the legal protections that their marriage gives them but they do not enjoy sex with each other.

Personally I need to pound the gently caress out of my partner on the regular as part of our emotional intimacy but hey if it works for them good for them, it's none of my business.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:36

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

dudeness posted:

Lately I've (24/F) been feeling like my boyfriend (27/M) is getting too comfortable, and then something gross happened and I don't know how to feel.

I read the title and thought, "yes, hes going to poo poo his pants!?"

# ? May 20, 2017 17:37

Barudak: May 7, 2007

dudeness posted:

Lately I've (24/F) been feeling like my boyfriend (27/M) is getting too comfortable, and then something gross happened and I don't know how to feel.

I thought engineers were good at identifying and reinforcing the structural points most likely to blow out.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:41

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Batterypowered7 posted:

Isn't that all lesbians? You go on your first date, you move in together on the second date, and stop having sex about two weeks in after that.

idk I've met some butches that are absolute horndogs who do not like to take no for an answer

# ? May 20, 2017 17:51

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Barudak posted:

I thought engineers were good at identifying and reinforcing the structural points most likely to blow out.

So do engineers.

# ? May 20, 2017 17:56

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

A genderswitched tale as old a s time

How do I[27F] best have other women sleep with my roommate/fwb[20M] so he can lose his feelings for me, but maintain the current fwb/roommate relationship.

quote:

I recently moved to another city and decided that I get an apartment with a roommate.I found an apartment and a person to share with.Lets call my roommate Jason.Jason is a student at a university near our apartment.He's shy,quiet,and rather meek.He doesn't talk much, but he's also a kind young man and is pretty funny at times.

Jason and I talked and I found out a lot about him.He told me that he's the runt of the family.He has 2 older siblings a brother and sister.His brother is now a lawyer while his sister is in law school. From what I know both of them are very successful. Jason was an average student and now majors in art and has no plans in going to law school. Because of this His family basically doesn't talk to him anymore.Not only that, but he has no friends and spends most of his time in the apartment,school, or work. Jason is a bit of a loner with no friends and family that ignores him and it seems like he has low self confidence as well.

I was(and still am)also very busy and really never went out except for work and the gym. One day we were talking about past relationships and turns out he's a virgin. I was very busy,horny, and I missed the intimacy my vibrator doesn't give me so I decided to seduce Jason. I took Jason's virginity about 4 months ago and we've having sex almost everyday since then and for a guy with no experience prior he was really good in bed. After our first time he asked if this meant we were girlfriend and boyfriend as he called it. I told him no that this was a strictly physical relationship. He told me he understood.

However over the course of those 4 months he started acting a little odd.He stated to show more affection to me and about a week ago he came up to me and told me he loved me.I kind of saw this coming and I told him that I loved him like I love a good friend.I told him that he was too young and inexperienced for me to actually date him.He told me he understood.Then something shocking happened.He told me he was going to move out.I asked him why and he told that he wanted space from me so he can get over me and move on with his life.I didn't want Jason to leave because he's really good in bed,he pays half the rent on time every month,and he's a great roommate who does all his chores and even cooks for me sometimes.

I told him that he doesn't need to move out and he's just being stupid. I didn't want him to go so I lied to him and said that in the future I might develop feelings for you once you get older. This is not true and I doubt I will ever have romantic feelings for him. He asked me if he should really stay and I kissed him and told him he was overthinking everything. We had sex shortly after our conversation and he decided not to move out.

Ever since then I've been showing him more affection because I don't want him to leave. However I'm afraid he might before my workload eases down. Once my workload is decreased I can have more free time and start to date again. Jason got into a big fight with his parents so they cut him off. He has a job and money saved up from work and his inheritance. It won't be enough to let him continue school however so I told him that if he can just pay the utilities, do all the chores from now on, and cook for me more often I can handle the rent. I can easily afford the rent by myself and now I have a roommate that does all the chores, cooks for me, and is really good in bed. I really don't want him to move out and stop sleeping with me, but I'm afraid he will.

I posted my situation to a couple other subreddits and I got some posts and pms telling me that if I get other girls in bed with him he'll most likely lose feelings for me, but will still continue the fwb/roommate relationship. As I said I don't love him I probably never will, so him sleeping with other women is no big deal as long as he comes back to me.

Jason is a decent looking boy and is quite charming when he is confident. He's still pretty shy so I can't just set up a blind date. What's the best way to go about this plan? I know plenty of attractive women who would be more than happy to sleep with him especially once they know how good he is in bed. I've thinking about setting up a threesome to ease him into other women. Is that a good idea? Does anyone have any ideas on this train of thought?

tl;dr:I have been sleeping with my roommate. He developed feelings for me that I don't have and was about to move out, but I convinced him not too. Now I'm afraid he will change his mind. I've gotten advice telling me to get other girls into bed with him and he'll get over me. What is the best way to execute this?

# ? May 20, 2017 18:00

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

La Brea Carpet posted:

A genderswitched tale as old a s time

How do I[27F] best have other women sleep with my roommate/fwb[20M] so he can lose his feelings for me, but maintain the current fwb/roommate relationship.

poo poo who doesn't want a bangmaid

# ? May 20, 2017 18:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

A genderswitched tale as old a s time

How do I[27F] best have other women sleep with my roommate/fwb[20M] so he can lose his feelings for me, but maintain the current fwb/roommate relationship.

This is such a perfect contrived romantic comedy plot that the genre will suddenly be brought shuddering back into existence once she executes her plan.

# ? May 20, 2017 18:40

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

13Pandora13 posted:

Asexuals trying to wedge into LGBTQ when they face zero legal, employment, etc. discrimination and/or possible physical violence against their person for their sexuality seems pretty appropriative and gross to me but gotta get those Tumblr oppression points somehow I guess.

You don't like sex. Nobody gives a gently caress.

Still less tiresome than poly people claiming they're so oppressed and also enlightened, unlike us boring monogamous people.

I feel bad picking on tumblr too much since it's mostly idiot teenagers and college students, but :laffo:

. "Oh no, monogamous people expect exclusivity as part of relationship commitments. Oh nooo.", plus a bunch of points that are less about monogamy and more about immature nitwits.

Reddit content:
My [25f] husband [30m] is "asexual". Refuses to sleep with me & I just caught him masturbating to men. Help!

quote:

We've been married for 3 years next month and I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like a joke, got married too quickly as his father was dying and I'm starting to think I made a huge mistake.
I assumed his aversion to sex before we were married was just due to his religious upbringing. Shame on me for making an assumption, I know. But in every other respect he is the best man anyone could ask for. But when we got married and I had to beg him to have sex with me I realised we had a problem, but I ignored it.

Now it's gotten to breaking point. He cannot get an erection, no matter what I do and I won't lie, it has hurt me deeply. I left for a 6 week vacation with my mother and sister 3 weeks ago, and the day before I left I walked into our room and caught him masturbating to pictures of male body builders. He says that's always what he masturbates to, he has never thought of me. His words, not mine.

He swears up and down he isn't attracted to men, he says he doesn't know why he looks at that material. He just does. He also says he doesn't masturbate for pleasure, as he has no desire. He says it's for the release.

Argh! I'm just so confused. My head is swimming and I'm terrified of having to come home to this reality. I don't want to be 26 and divorced, but I don't see that anything in the relationship will change, and it has to. I've begged him to see someone and he says he will, but just doesn't.
Help me reddit! Due to protecting his personal life I can't talk directly to anyone, and my family just shrug. Please, give me some perspective? Thanks if you've read this far.

TL;DR worried my husband is gay. Don't know what to think

The update has them divorcing while the husband still insists he's asexual.

# ? May 20, 2017 18:56

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

He also says he doesn't masturbate for pleasure, as he has no desire. He says it's for the release.�

If you don't let the pipes drip they'll freeze

# ? May 20, 2017 19:11

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Also he gay

# ? May 20, 2017 19:25

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

I'm not gay I just like to get off to gay porn

I'm asexual, but I still get turned on by GAY PORNOGRAPHY and like to masturbate to it

that poor woman is livin a lie

# ? May 20, 2017 19:26

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Blue Train posted:

He also says he doesn't masturbate for pleasure, as he has no desire. He says it's for the release.�

If you don't let the pipes drip they'll freeze

Actually this is kind of true, not regularly ejaculating is really bad for your prostate. But also he's gay.

# ? May 20, 2017 19:36

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

This derail makes me miss the tumblr threads.

# ? May 20, 2017 20:58

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Blue Train posted:

poo poo who doesn't want a bangmaid

Hahaha that's exactly what I thought of too

# ? May 20, 2017 20:59

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Women choosing asexual partners is natural selection at work. Instead of a virile man poisoning his own seed in her womb and possibly producing some flipper baby, she keeps those men available to women who can bear healthy children.

# ? May 20, 2017 21:01

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Troposphere posted:

my last roommate was "asexual" and she never shut up about gay homestuck sex fanfic and also anal sex

all the asexual people I've known are the most sex obsessed people it's weird as hell I don't get it

I feel like Ace people (and what my gf has told me,) is that A.) It's a spectrum, so you get a lot of conflicting ideas, and B.) For her, she gets no enjoyment out of sex, or thinking about sex at all, but she is fascinated in the way it makes people feel. She doesn't get it's awkward to bring up, because she doesn't feel that way about it, so she wants to talk and learn about it, erego you get Ace people who constantly talk about sex and sex-like materials.

# ? May 20, 2017 21:02

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:43

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

quote:

Reminder that all physical traits men are shamed for are the ones that can't be changed, while the only one women are shamed for can be controlled.

Men are shamed for balding, height, and penis size and its socially acceptable. All of these are genetic traits that can't be changed or worked on. Shamed for something out of control.

Women are basically only fat shamed, and even them, its becoming not socially acceptable anymore. Fat levels can be controlled and worked on.

Most funny and enraging thing is that even in fatness men have it much much much harder and harsher than women . Sharp facial features are valued in men while round or soft features are valued in women. So in fact, being fat actually hurts men much much more than women . An increase from 12% to 18% body fat in a woman won't almost put a dent in her attractiveness, while the same increase in a man will be night and day on how women treat him. Countless stories of bodybuilders telling how they are invisible in their bulking phases while they get radically increased attention in their cutting phases. And while they never get truly fat, even when already having a visible jawline, the slighest difference in body fat can mean everything for men . Body fat requirements for men are loving WAY HARSHER for men. I see on the streets many many many many many more lean men with fat/chubby women couples than chubby and not even truly fat men with ANY kind of woman couples.

A funny and enraging comparison of how men are shamed much more than women is that I don't know a single guy (and I know many womanizers with standards) that rejected a girl because of boob size. Not the same can be said about guys I know with small dicks, who were pre-rejected many times by many girls because it was a rumour (sometimes true) that his dick was small.

I'm so loving sick of society acting like women are subjected to unreal hollywood beauty standards, when most shaming is done to men, and in addition, for things we can't control and are born with. And on top of that, we have it exponentially harsher in the ONLY thing women are judged for. Its loving cruelly ironic.

# ? May 20, 2017 21:05

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