Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Aaron Hernandez.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

pubic works project
Jan 28, 2005

No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

warcrimes posted:

https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/867102869232766976

Pirate Gang bitch

but seriously, can we play our games on that ship in 2019?

The Bucs have seriously become my NFC team based on that badass picture alone.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Xavier Sua'Filo :argh:

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DEREK CARR YOU BASTARD

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Melvin Gorhahahaha

Ice Fist
Jun 20, 2012

^^ Please send feedback to beefstache911@hotmail.com, this is not a joke that 'stache is the real deal. Serious assessments only. ^^

Damarious Randahahahahahaha

Seriously: I thought he showed some promise his rookie year. Year 2 was a nose dive. I hope he can come back so I can make fun of him for wearing turtlenecks in 100 degree heat. But I have very low expectations.

Ice Fist fucked around with this message at 21:55 on May 23, 2017

pubic works project
Jan 28, 2005

No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

I'd have to say Phillip Dorsett, but I am prepared to be disappointed.

Boosh!
Apr 12, 2002
Oven Wrangler
Ereck Flowers, who allegedly hasn't left the area since the season ended, opting to stay and train during the entire offseason.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

I'm sure Bills fans are betting on Sammy Watkins.

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Doug Martin!

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

kiimo posted:

I'm sure Bills fans are betting on Sammy Watkins.

He already plays at a high level, he just never plays.

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
All of them.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Jed York.

TheChirurgeon
Aug 7, 2002

Remember how good you are
Taco Defender
Jaylon Smith, I guess

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Gronk has a new, weird contract:

If he gets All pro or 80 catches or 1200 yards or 90% play time, he gets $10.75m

‪$8.75M: he has to get 80 percent play time or 70 catches or 1000 receiving yards or 12 Tds.

$6.75M is 70 percent playtime, 60 receptions, 800 receiving yards or 10 TDs.

Old deal was $5.25m, and I think he still gets that if he doesn't hit any of those incentives.

Kalli fucked around with this message at 22:33 on May 23, 2017

Low Desert Punk
Jul 4, 2012

i have absolutely no fucking money
Kevin White, if that counts. I guess you can't really disappoint if you've never done anything

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:
This is the year Mario Edwards, Jr stays healthy and plays at a Pro Bowl level and furthermore

pubic works project
Jan 28, 2005

No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.
Did anyone post this today?

https://twitter.com/FieldYates/status/867063495514353668

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

Kalli posted:

Gronk has a new, weird contract:

If he gets All pro or 80 catches or 1200 yards or 90% play time, he gets $10.75m

‪$8.75M: he has to get 80 percent play time or 70 catches or 1000 receiving yards or 12 Tds.

$6.75M is 70 percent playtime, 60 receptions, 800 receiving yards or 10 TDs.

Old deal was $5.25m, and I think he still gets that if he doesn't hit any of those incentives.

Did his option picked up/modified in addition, or is it just flat giving him more money this year?

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


https://www.theplayerstribune.com/jermichael-finley-packers-injury-retirement/

Jermichael Finley talks about his career-ending injury and his concussions, and the neurotherapy he received afterwards to treat symptoms of concussed brain. A few quotes:

quote:

Four weeks earlier, in Cincinnati, I had suffered a concussion against the Bengals. I was running a route up the seam and when I stretched out for the ball, a safety came down and popped me while another guy rolled up over me from behind. I took a knee to my head, then my head hit the ground.

When I stood up, my body felt like it was on fire and everything looked blurry, like I was underwater. I looked to our sideline, and all I could see was my teammates’ yellow pants. No feet, no jerseys, no heads. Just bright yellow pants. It was like everybody had been decapitated. I tried to walk towards them, but I only made it a few steps before I went back to the ground. The trainers came out and helped me off the field, took me into the locker room, diagnosed me with a concussion and then took my helmet away. I was done for the day.

quote:

So that’s what I thought had happened. It’s not like the guy blew me up or anything. It wasn’t a huge collision. I just saw number 39 coming and put my head down to protect my knees, and he just caught me on the crown of my helmet.

Immediately after the hit, I was conscious, but I let go of the ball because my hands stopped working. I lay on the ground because my legs went numb.

The official diagnosis was a spinal cord contusion. The hit shocked my spine and left me with a two-centimeter bruise on my spinal cord. A couple of weeks later, I had surgery to fuse together the C-3 and C-4 vertebrae in my neck, and after about six months of rehab, I was cleared by my doctor to resume football activities.

quote:

I had already seen my personality start to change after the neck injury, but after I officially retired, it got even worse. I would wake up every morning grumpy and agitated. I became really quiet. Sometimes Courtney would try to talk to me and I would just get irritated. Every now and then I’d snap at her, but most of the time I would just walk away or take a long drive. I wasn’t angry, I was just … awkward. Even with people around town. It was like I forgot how to talk to people.

Courtney would ask, “What’s going on with you?” And I would just walk away. Mostly because I didn’t have an answer. I had no idea, no reason, no why.

quote:

That hit me pretty hard. I don’t know why, but I started thinking about some of the former NFL players I had heard about who were really hurting — you know, the older guys — and I wondered if the stuff I was going through was just the beginning. I wondered if it was going to get worse over time, like it probably did for them. The mood swings. The memory loss. That wasn’t the way I wanted to live, and that wasn’t how I wanted my three boys to see me.

Then I thought about the former players who had committed suicide.

quote:

And I honestly believe that if it weren’t for my wife and my kids, I never would have gotten any kind of help, and 10 years from now, I might have ended up one of those former players who put a bullet in his chest.

Watching that hit still makes me angry, it's just such an incredibly dirty hit. There's no reason whatsoever to be leading with your helmet like that on a tackle, much less aiming for someone's head.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



evilweasel posted:

Did his option picked up/modified in addition, or is it just flat giving him more money this year?

Looks like the latter, but I don't know what this does to the next two years of his deal.

OBR
Apr 9, 2009

Apparently we also found the fun hating old white male:


Marvin Lewis on Sporting News posted:

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said allowing players the freedom for more elaborate touchdown celebrations will detract from the team aspect of the game and set a bad example for a younger generation.

"I’m not for that at all," Lewis told reporters Tuesday, via ESPN.com. "We had a good standard, and the whole standard has always been, you want to teach people how to play the game the correct way and go about it the correct way, and that’s not a very good example for young people.

"The rules were changed for a reason, and I thought we had a good outcome," Lewis added. "Again, this is a team game, and ... I don’t understand why we want to give in to individual celebrations."

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
shut the gently caress up marvin

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

OBR posted:

Apparently we also found the fun hating old white male:

That's a hell of a tan he's got going on there

VietCampo
Aug 24, 2010
Let's draft this guy who knocked out a chick but celebrating after a touchdown is over the line and sets a bad example for the kids!

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

kiimo posted:

Name your team's disappointing player that's totally gonna turn it around this year for real this time y'all.

I'll go first: Jeremy Maclin

Jordan Matthews

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Diqnol posted:

Jordan Matthews

Nobody cares about my fantasy team.

gently caress Jordan Matthews

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Diqnol posted:

Jordan Matthews/Nelson Agholor/Marcus Smith

nerve
Jan 2, 2011

SKA SUCKS
7 one and dones lol

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Eli Wiggum posted:

shut the gently caress up marvin

Marvin has awful, awful opinions and I wish he'd shut up about being a hypocritical of Fudd.

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

VietCampo posted:

Let's draft this guy who knocked out a chick but celebrating after a touchdown is over the line and sets a bad example for the kids!

This is what Marvin Lewis literally believes

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
The people I know who have regular contact with Marvin have told me that he's just as insufferable in real life as he seems when he gives recorded statements.


being a head coach in Cincinnati just seems like it destroys people.

a patagonian cavy
Jan 12, 2009

UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

Eli Wiggum posted:

shut the gently caress up marvin

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Marvin Lewis just doesn't understand the crazy kids these days.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Marvin Lewis has never won anything and should be fired IMO

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

you don't really have to read between the lines whenever he talks about it to know that marvin lewis doesn't believe concussions are a real thing

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
He outright stated it. More than once if I remember right.


"Guys are going to keep playing football. They’re making too much out of nothing. Guys have been playing football for a long time. All of a sudden they didn’t become soft," Lewis said. "The people have already done it. We’ve got job justification going on, big time."

"Guys are going to play football. I don’t know what staying in the game is. Guys are going to play football. If a guy has something where he needs to come out, he’s going to come out. It’s not going to change. Just because one person, one team doesn't do the job right, then we have to have all this other red tape and all that. That’s baloney. It’s ridiculous how we keep doing things. If everybody does what they’re supposed to do, we don’t have any issues."

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 01:08 on May 24, 2017

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

Intruder posted:

Dwight didn't know you're not supposed to eat like 20 candy bars a day

Also lol at that report. in other news, I'm blowing everyone away at work by not sleeping on the job or masturbating into the coffee machine

Good timing on this joke, my company just fired a guy for coming to the office late at night to masturbate in the large conference room.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Mr. Nice! posted:

The goalposts are wider to accommodate for the extremes, but in general, most kicking is done from similar positions to the NFL.

This isn't true, or at least is no longer true. College goal posts are the same width as NFL goal posts. I want to say college used to use high school type posts which are wider, but I don't know how to look it up. If they did it's been quite a while since they changed.

Not having to use a slick new ball for every kick probably still makes it easier to kick in college though.

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet

AsInHowe posted:

Good timing on this joke, my company just fired a guy for coming to the office late at night to masturbate in the large conference room.

So many questions, none I'm actually sure I want answered.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
"Well, he had a concussion against Atlanta," Lewis began, via the Cincinnati Enquirer. "That's that biggest concern that way. You don't want him to have, you know, but again I coached defenses and linebackers for a long time and concussions didn't linger. Now we have found that because of the media and things they seem to linger longer. There's a lot of attention paid to it. I don't know why they linger longer. I don't remember them lingering like they do now."

  • Locked thread