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Vargatron posted:I used to be able to take down my brother and he could never get loose even though I was like 112 lbs at the time and he was 180lbs. The holds you learn in wrestling are pretty amazing really. That is an awful date.
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May 23, 2017 16:20
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Vargatron posted:I used to be able to take down my brother and he could never get loose even though I was like 112 lbs at the time and he was 180lbs. The holds you learn in wrestling are pretty amazing really. did you at least kiss him first?
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May 23, 2017 17:10
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Machai posted:did you at least kiss him first? Bought him dinner first fam.
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May 23, 2017 17:21
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Stories like dude's high school abused-by-brother girlfriend are so depressing ( ) and messed up have me realizing that I've never been on a truly bad date. At worst, I've had awkward or weird dates. Like the date where I met this RN over Tinder who seemed really cool and she was. We went around the city for a day-long date after having a delicious lunch/tea. Then we made out everywhere around campus and in her car for like 2 hours and I played with her nice boobies plenty. It was a really fun and enthusiastic date. We're both huge dorky nerds, but that's just typical for me and most women I date. We texted back and forth for a week or two there. It seemed good. But then she abruptly stopped and we oddly never had another date. I started dating my current long-term serious girlfriend not long after that. Almost a year later, she likes one of my LinkedIn job updates out of the blue and I text her asking what's up out of curiosity. We catch up over our lives and she casually tells me I was a really great guy, she wasn't sure why we never went out another date or two, and even sends me some pictures. Of course I'm serious enough with my girlfriend at that point and bid her good luck with her life. The end. She didn't live significantly more than an hour from me. She wasn't suffering from any obvious illness, mental or physical. She told me that she went out on very few dates and had no real relationships or issues with an ex-boyfriend over those many months, which her Facebook confirmed. It was just really strange. The one and only vague "red flag" is she was a virgin, but she was just average chubby and fairly tall, pretty dang attractive, and she wasn't at all nervous physically with me or too socially awkward to exist, so I don't think that was it. I dunno. Maybe she really had absolutely zero relationship experience despite how she seemed cool, fun, and let me touch her boobies. Generally speaking, getting ghosted is predictable when the date was neutral, had major incompatibility issues, or just plain sucked. But not when it went very well and seemed like it was going somewhere. I guess I'm not totally terrible and inept with women like most goons, so I'm able to recount these things and have good dates occasionally. Yes, I understand that attempting to connect logic with the mostly emotional activity of dating is completely pointless and futile. I'm very dumb, a lazy idiot, and bad. Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 18:25 on May 23, 2017 |
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May 23, 2017 18:19
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The owner of a store I used to go to a lot decided to set me up with some other customer of hers. I was in my early-mid 20's and she was telling me all about this really cool intelligent japanese lady who came in often and was around my age. She gave her my number and next thing you know she's calling me up to go for dinner. She sounded very cool on the phone, mature and intelligent and confident, none of that infuriating poo poo japanese women often do where they force a baby voice or play up their helpless innocence so that was a real nice surprise. We meet up and I can she's gorgeous, well read, and can hold a conversation. About half way through dinner she asks how old I am, I told her. "Oh, I thought you were much older, generally canadian guys your age can't offer interesting conversation." I took it as a compliment but everything about her attitude had suddenly changed from flirty to worried. "How old do you think I am?" she asked. I guessed 27, I could tell she was a bit older than me, but she was in fact in her mid 30's. She said right then and there that unfortunately the age difference was too much, which was a shame because we were really getting along, but she's still really enjoying my company and hope we can have a nice rest of our dinner. We did, we stayed for another couple hours just chatting away. Oh well, not a bad date just an age misunderstanding. My shop owner friend really wanted to hear all about my date and when I tell her the age issue she got mad. "drat sneaky asian women!! You can never tell their age!! I'm so sorry!" (she is korean so her cursing ageless asian women was a self-compliment) But a week later she calls me again, asked if I wanted to hang out. Not a date, just a friends thing. Sure! So we go for dinner again but this time the vibe is a bit different. She tells me she really wanted to take me home that night, and the age thing was mostly just an excuse. I then got about an hour of her talking about her roommate. She's been living for about 5 years with a local guy who sounded like the worst "nice guy" ever. She knows he's in love with her but she doesn't like him that way, but worries he's very emotionally unstable and even threateningly suicidal and gets super weird and is horrible to live with any time he knows she's seeing someone. I asked her why she lived with him for so long with such a lovely situation. She felt guilty that she couldn't love him romantically but felt she needed to be around to take care of him and be his friend. It was super hosed up and unhealthy and a lot of really weird poo poo about this guy and her non-romantic relationship with him set off a ton of red flags so I guess I dodged a sexy older bullet? I have had no memory of this woman or this date for the last 10 years, it only just came to me reading this thread, weird.
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May 23, 2017 18:56
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Jastiger posted:Not gonna dox someone, sorry. But she was hot as hell and complained about her weight. Never would have guessed 300, but she's very very attractive.  They wouldn't let me go all the way up to 300lbs, sorry.
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May 24, 2017 02:07
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ReelBigLizard posted:EDIT: I've tweaked a few details for security by the way. Also, I'd like to add that despite the intrigue it wasn't really an awful encounter, she was genuinely the most engaging and charismatic woman I met there, great fun and a tremendous flirt. I think her being a fukcin janes bond character for the ugandan army had something to do with it.
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May 24, 2017 02:15
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Not really an awful date, but I basically got used for by a gal for dinner on valentine's day. Way back, when I was single after graduating college, I met a girl online. After chatting a bit online, she invited me over to her place to watch a movie. When I arrived, she was definitely heavier than the picture she used online, but she was still cute, and we seemed to get along well. We watched a movie, and by the end were cuddling. After the movie finished we made out for a bit and there was some rubbing of very sensitive areas under clothes, although no sex. It was near valentine's day and so I suggested I take her out. She told me she had never actually been out on Valentine's day, and so I said I'd take her somewhere special. I made a booking at a nice restaurant, and we had a nice meal out, and overall I thought it was a pretty good date. Conversation was easy, and we had reasonable chemistry. After the dinner, I dropped her at her place, and gave her a kiss goodnight at the door step. I'm not sure if maybe I screwed something up here by not making more of a move, but it was late, and we both had work the next day. Anyway, next day I try to call her, and nothing. I tried a few more times, over the next couple days, and it become obvious I'm being ghosted, so I stop calling, and although I'm a bit confused, I drop it. Proceed to 12 months later and I get an email from her with the subject "Guess Who" a week before Valentine's day and a message about how nice it would be to go out again. I put 2 and 2 together at this stage and sent a message back with "Don't contact me again".
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May 24, 2017 02:29
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Malcolm Excellent posted:Not a date, but I was hanging out with a friend, and a girl he was dating came by, just to chill as well. After about 15 minutes of chatting / talking about whatever dumb poo poo was on TV they start Wrestling. I don't mean playful goofing around stuff, I mean like taking each other down and doing arm holds.. like college or high school wrestling. I was just like "this is pretty weird.. do you do this often?" They both calmed down, but then a few minutes later they started slapping each other in the face full contact. At that point I had to bail.. it was just too strange and too violent to be sexual. They were slapping the poo poo out of each other. I just said "see ya!" and drove home. A few hours later we met up for dinner, and they were completely normal. Acted like nothing our of the ordinary happened. Say hi to john and cena for me
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May 24, 2017 02:33
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Chill Nazi Frog posted:
Dont give Jastiger a boner.
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May 24, 2017 02:35
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I really do not want to keep posting about this because it is a nigh-worthless argument, but I do not think I know a single 200-pound woman with boobs that small, let alone someone at 275
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May 24, 2017 02:50
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Chill Nazi Frog posted:
Jastiger confirmed as Namio Harukawa alt account. (Do not Google that name at work, kids.)
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May 24, 2017 02:52
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Dr. Quarex posted:I really do not want to keep posting about this because it is a nigh-worthless argument, but I do not think I know a single 200-pound woman with boobs that small, let alone someone at 275 Sometimes the Orisha Dada fucks up when helping form a person and all the fat in their body goes to their hips and none of it goes to the tits.
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May 24, 2017 02:55
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Nia Jax is 6' and 275, and could wreck me anytime. My weird bad dates are more depressing ("...so then he texted me he should've forced me") than funny. I did once have a date with a basement type who showed up in a "no, I will not fix your computer" T-shirt.
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May 24, 2017 04:03
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:Nia Jax is 6' and 275, and could wreck me anytime. Well yeah, but you can't headbutt a Samoan.
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May 24, 2017 04:16
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Chill Nazi Frog posted:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XssezLka--I
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May 24, 2017 04:39
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Lmao
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May 24, 2017 05:04
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I got catfished by a fat, crippled lady
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May 24, 2017 06:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuT2LAGsxoo
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May 24, 2017 06:20
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Anne Whateley posted:Nia Jax is 6' and 275, and could wreck me anytime. Great example, NIa Jax. She's loving amazingly gorgeous. THe girl in question that I know is honestly built kinda like Nia Jax. Granted, she just had a kid, but still she looks great. I don't know why its so hard to understand that a lady can be 300 lbs and still be sexy af. I once went on a date in the early days of online dating and met up with this girl. Picked her up and we went out and had drinks and shot pool, whatever. She was nice enough but...not quite what her pictures looked like nor did she conform to being into the same things I was. Turns out this girl was pregnant but wasn't showing yet and was like "its ok its ok, I look like my friend, she just wanted me to go on the date instead in case you ended up being a creeper". She called her friend, the one I was ACTUALLY supposed to see, and we ended up hitting it off for a little bit. But looking back, man, 21 year old me was dumb as hell lol when it came to that kind of thing.
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May 24, 2017 06:28
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lol dude she's a fat gently caress, her legs look thicker than my goddamn torso 
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May 24, 2017 06:34
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JFairfax posted:lol dude she's a fat gently caress, her legs look thicker than my goddamn torso Actually shes gorgeous and i think she is wonderful. Literally thr only reason i turn on RAW anymore.
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May 24, 2017 06:42
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lol I bet she turns you on raw
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May 24, 2017 06:44
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Jastiger posted:Actually shes gorgeous and i think she is wonderful. Literally thr only reason i turn on RAW anymore. congrats on ur all round bad taste
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May 24, 2017 06:53
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Being gorgeous and fat are not necessarily mutually exclusive but this objectively a fat woman. It's cool if you're into it that though, of course. 
HoAssHo fucked around with this message at 07:03 on May 24, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 07:01
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lol is that a roll of fat or her titty?
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May 24, 2017 07:04
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in 2k17 in general there is such a skewed view of what a fat human looks like that some people can convince themselves that's not a fat person most likely because they stare at their own fat belly and mantits every day
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May 24, 2017 07:05
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Jastiger likes fat chicks??? 
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May 24, 2017 07:06
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HoAssHo posted:Being gorgeous and fat are not necessarily mutually exclusive but this objectively a fat woman. It's cool if you're into it that though, of course. Which Jastiger obviously is. OK, we get it dude, you like hambeasts.  No need to keep mentioning it.
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May 24, 2017 07:09
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myDad posted:Jastiger likes fat chicks??? what in tarnation 
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May 24, 2017 08:50
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Absurd Alhazred posted:When did this become the "share your dumb opinions about beauty standards" thread? This reminds me of my only teenage date, back in ninth grade. A boy I played D&D with asked me out and we went to see Star Wars: Insurrection, which is exactly as bad a date movie as you may be imagining. The next Monday at school, he told me he'd decided to date another friend of ours instead, and I said something along the lines of "okay, it's high school, I'll have my chance again in a couple months." (He went on to date this girl for the entire school year, and I think they only broke up because his family was moving, so... awesome work there, self.) I proceeded to be an awkward-rear end dateless teen for another year or so, when I began dating a 27-year-old over the Internet and elevated to an entirely new level of Severe Life Problems. At least the Insurrection date guy and I stayed friends.
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May 24, 2017 09:33
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). There was this one girl I was chatting with online, turns out she actually lived in my town in the middle of nowhere, and was a year younger than me! She constantly talks about her boyfriend, and eventually says they broke up, but she really misses him, and hey wouldn't I like to hang out? So I go to her place, I think driven there by her Mom, who left us alone. We watched Star Wars or something, and I thought we had a nice time. I remember hoping that she would be interested in me eventually, once she got over her ex. 
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myDad posted:Jastiger likes fat chicks??? Why are you surprised? He was fawning all over Lena DunHam in another thread.
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May 24, 2017 10:54
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Jack Trades posted:Why are you surprised? He was fawning all over Lena DunHam in another thread. Your sense of sarcasm is as acute as your wit, goon sir 
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May 24, 2017 10:56
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myDad posted:Your sense of sarcasm is as acute as your wit, goon sir Sounds about right.
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May 24, 2017 10:57
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HoAssHo posted:Being gorgeous and fat are not necessarily mutually exclusive but this objectively a fat woman. It's cool if you're into it that though, of course. Objectively beautiful though? I dun care if she is considered fat, she is a knock out. Watch out for dat leg drop.
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May 24, 2017 12:40
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Chill Nazi Frog posted:
You can create some horrific amalgams with this thing.
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May 24, 2017 14:12
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Malcolm Excellent posted:Not a date, but I was hanging out with a friend, and a girl he was dating came by, just to chill as well. After about 15 minutes of chatting / talking about whatever dumb poo poo was on TV they start Wrestling. I don't mean playful goofing around stuff, I mean like taking each other down and doing arm holds.. like college or high school wrestling. I was just like "this is pretty weird.. do you do this often?" They both calmed down, but then a few minutes later they started slapping each other in the face full contact. At that point I had to bail.. it was just too strange and too violent to be sexual. They were slapping the poo poo out of each other. I just said "see ya!" and drove home. A few hours later we met up for dinner, and they were completely normal. Acted like nothing our of the ordinary happened. What's it like being friends with a Klingon couple?
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May 24, 2017 14:34
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Jastiger posted:Objectively beautiful though? I dun care if she is considered fat, she is a knock out. Watch out for dat leg drop. You are allowed to like fatties. But shes not 'considered fat' shes fat. Stop trying to weasel word your way out of you like fatties. Embrace your kink. Also, sorry you love fatties but hate the south. The cognitive dissonance must kill you.
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May 24, 2017 15:37
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I travelled around the world with my best friend a couple years ago and I used tinder as we road tripped through the states, mostly intending to get local advice and hopefully getting a couple dates in the bargain. For the most part by the time I'd matched with and chatted to people enough to want to meet them we'd moved on from their city (rip Maia from New York who loved to send pictures of her astonishingly large tits spilling out of tiny tops), but we had a week in New Orleans and once we realised there wasn't a whole lot to do other than getting shitfaced I stepped up my tinder hunt and asked a few girls out for drinks. One was smart, funny and had a pretty face, although in hindsight that she only had pictures of her face should have been a huge red flag, along with the words "loves cake" in her profile bio. She agreed to pick me up in her car and take me somewhere in the Bywater as up to that point we'd just stumbled around the French quarter. I waited on the street until a knackered old rusted out beater of a car turned around the corner and pulled up in front of me. I got in and upon seeing she was pretty drat fat the penny finally dropped on the subtle implications of her profile. We'd got along well on tinder so I still wanted to make the most of the evening. She was quite nervous, I guessed because she'd had bad reactions in the past, but I wanted to put her at ease and just get to know her and have a good time. As we drove to a wine and cheese bar the car showed itself to be as hosed on the inside as it was on the out, coughing and spluttering along at barely over 25mph, with the battery unable to sustain both the headlights and the indicators being on at the same time. We limped our way to the bar, arriving late enough that it was closing up when we walked in. This only added to her embarrassment and anxiety as she apologised a lot. I mostly felt very sorry for her and wanted to find a bar to have a drink and laugh about the situation before I cut my losses. We got back into the car, she turned the key and it let out comedy spurt and a long whine. I flagged down a passing cop car to see if they'd have jump cables and his response was basically 'lol no good luck' before loving off into the night. Eventually one of the bar staff took pity on us and found some jump cables, we got it barely started and headed back towards the French quarter, except the car was on its last legs and barely broke 15mph. It came worryingly close to crapping out as it struggled with a slight incline over some tracks and I had a fleeting image of being smashed to pieces by a freight train. A few blocks later the car died completely, along with any hopes we could salvage something from the evening. We headed for a nearby bar as she frantically called her ex-boyfriend to pick her up. I ordered shots and beers because I really needed them at this point. We chatted while she waited and I pondered whether if things had gone differently I'd have been drinking myself to a level where trying to sleep with her would have seemed like a good idea. Evidently she thought the evening wasn't a total disaster because when her ex arrived she asked me if I'd like to come back to his house with her, at which point I noped the gently caress out of there. On the walk home I got back on tinder and sent a few hopeful messages to other women I'd been chatting to, and one was out with her friends and told me to come meet them. I did and she was hammered to the point that she was fine with stopping to take a piss behind a car on the street between bars. I got chatting to one of her friends I thought was cute and we went to eat somewhere and I was introduced to totchos, and then I smoked a joint with some guy I met outside so the evening wasn't a total write off.
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May 24, 2017 15:40
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That is some serious Tinder Multitasking
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May 24, 2017 17:22
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