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More and more negative reviews are piling up for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, its already sitting at a metascore of 38 and the drat thing hasn't even come out yet.
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May 26, 2017 00:22
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MechanicalTomPetty posted:More and more negative reviews are piling up for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, its already sitting at a metascore of 38 and the drat thing hasn't even come out yet. It's lower than the previous ones, apparently, but Pirates is just one of those movie series that people will watch no matter what.
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May 26, 2017 00:32
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:John Francis Daley from long, long ago Finally a movie to dethrone BOYHOOD IT TOOK TWELVE YEARS TO MAKE.
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May 26, 2017 00:36
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The MSJ posted:It's lower than the previous ones, apparently, but Pirates is just one of those movie series that people will watch no matter what. Yeah the checklist of what people expect from the movie is pretty short quote:Things that audiences want to see in a Pirates Of The Caribbean movie: We're getting to the point where there's a determined set of movies that we can expect to see every year or so: 3 Marvel movies, 2 DCEU movies, 1 Pirates of the Caribbean movie, 1 X-Men movie, 1 Star Wars movie, 1 Disney live adaptation, 1 Fast & Furious, etc etc.. Wash, rinse, repeat for the foreseeable future. Some are starting to peter out, we used to get one Underworld movie and one Resident Evil movie every year or so but I really don't know if they've got much more gas in the tank. But even then they're just planning on rebooting Resident Evil rather than letting it pass away peacefully.
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May 26, 2017 00:45
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Resident Evil will probably keep on going since making James Wan the producer makes it obvious they want to keep the whole thing cheap, but with more emphasis on horror. Cheap horror movies have been pretty reliably profitable, and one with a brand name attached might do even better.
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May 26, 2017 01:01
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I'm a little skeptical of most reviews because Pirates 5 is a movie people made up their minds about before it was even announced. Myself included, I'm not seeing that poo poo.
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May 26, 2017 01:32
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The last Pirates movie sucked so I'm not surprised they're saying this one is bad too.
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May 26, 2017 01:35
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Some are starting to peter out, we used to get one Underworld movie and one Resident Evil movie every year or so but I really don't know if they've got much more gas in the tank. But even then they're just planning on rebooting Resident Evil rather than letting it pass away peacefully. Underworld is probably not ending any time soon. Blood Wars made 80 mil WW on a 35 mil budget. e: oddly enough, looking at BoxOfficeMojo, Awakening actually outperformed the first three at the box office by a loving huge margin, and then Blood Wars was the lowest-grossing (and still made a healthy profit). Not really sure what to make of that, given Awakening was the point at which the series went from "fun middle-of-the-road action shlock" to "seriously these are barely even loving movies anymore."
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May 26, 2017 01:41
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SimonCat posted:Saw this trailer before Alien: Covenant I will say that it at least looks better than Fanboys. But that is also damning with the faintest ever praise.
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May 26, 2017 01:52
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SimonCat posted:I must say, the rise of nerd culture as an identity and a thing is making me feel my age. Revenge of the Nerds, The Last Starfighter, and Joysticks are all almost 35 years old. And then just a few years later you get and The Wizard.
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May 26, 2017 02:22
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Chairman Capone posted:I will say that it at least looks better than Fanboys. But that is also damning with the faintest ever praise. Fanboys was cute, I thought. The fawning treatment of the SW franchise in it is kinda dumb, but the jokes mostly worked for me and the movie had a lot more heart than most comedies in its vein ("trying to fulfill the goofy last wish of a buddy with cancer" is a really loving strong premise for a road trip comedy). I'm not gonna talk it up as some unsung classic or anything, it is absolutely not that, but I'm always baffled when I see people treat a solid 7/10 movie as the Worst Thing Ever.
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May 26, 2017 02:29
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Chairman Capone posted:I will say that it at least looks better than Fanboys. But that is also damning with the faintest ever praise. It's no Free Enterprise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olAKNAnrR-c
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May 26, 2017 02:33
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:Underworld is probably not ending any time soon. Blood Wars made 80 mil WW on a 35 mil budget. I saw Awakening on TV a few months back (which was also how I learned Blood Wars existed and was being released a couple of days later), and I couldn't believe that was actually a thing that they charged money to see in theaters and not a Syfy Original Movie.
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May 26, 2017 03:01
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I was never really into things that celebrated "geek culture" or whatever and nerds subsequently taking over popular culture and then a bunch morphing into gamergating Trump Nazis sort of makes all things geek even dumber.
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May 26, 2017 03:03
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raditts posted:I saw Awakening on TV a few months back (which was also how I learned Blood Wars existed and was being released a couple of days later), and I couldn't believe that was actually a thing that they charged money to see in theaters and not a Syfy Original Movie. I, uh... I saw it in theaters and actually really dug it at the time, though that was largely because I was at the peak of my "ugh there's no more R-rated action movies anymore!!!! grrrrr! I need gore in my shootmans movies!" phase and it sure was a shootmans movie with a fuckton of gore in it.
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May 26, 2017 03:05
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In this age of Trump, Underworld should be about Selene's werewolf-vampire daughter uniting everyone to fight a disgusting troll that controls the internet.
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May 26, 2017 03:05
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:Fanboys was cute, I thought. The fawning treatment of the SW franchise in it is kinda dumb, but the jokes mostly worked for me and the movie had a lot more heart than most comedies in its vein ("trying to fulfill the goofy last wish of a buddy with cancer" is a really loving strong premise for a road trip comedy). I followed its twisted development pretty closely at the time for whatever reason and I feel like it had a lot of promise, but the whole issue where they took it away from the original director and tried to edit out the cancer plot and fill it with sex jokes, and then gave it back to the original director with only something like two days to re-re-edit it before its completion critically wounded it. If it had only been the original concept that hadn't gotten hacked up, I'd probably be more charitable towards it. Plus I remember Seth Rogan being in it in like three or four multiple roles, all of which were insufferable. I also remember at the time that Lucas gave them permission to use Star Wars music and sound effects for the movie, but in the end they didn't use any of it and just did the sort of generic John Williams-esque music, which I thought was weird.
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May 26, 2017 03:22
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The MSJ posted:In this age of Trump, Underworld should be about Selene's werewolf-vampire daughter uniting everyone to fight a disgusting troll that controls the internet. That reminds me of the Buffy episode where they accidentally summon MOLLOCH THE DECEIVER through the internet.
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May 26, 2017 03:26
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muscles like this! posted:The last Pirates movie sucked so I'm not surprised they're saying this one is bad too. I just saw it, it wasn't bad or anything. It was exactly what I have come to expect from a Disney live action movie in the same vein as the new Star Wars/Marvel. It was OK with the action, some fine humor, you got to see references to things and the characters did what you expect. There was a weak villain whose motivation was to be a one movie villain. If you go to see the Marvel movies, you would probably enjoy this.
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May 26, 2017 04:07
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:Underworld is probably not ending any time soon. Blood Wars made 80 mil WW on a 35 mil budget. Yeah Blood Wars made half as much as Awakening did, $30m domestic/$80m worldwide vs $60m/$160m. Plus it broke the franchise's pattern of pumping out a movie every 3 years and had a 5 year gap from the previous film, I'm guessing that was a tad too long and people just forgot about it. $30m domestic sends a pretty clear message: "Either co-produce with a Chinese production company and feature a bunch of Chinese vampires next time or just don't bother, because US audiences aren't interested any more."
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May 26, 2017 06:27
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Turns out there was a 4th Corvinus brother who went to China, and was bitten by a dragon! It gives them super hopping powers.
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May 26, 2017 06:32
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I'm not gonna lie, jiangshi would be loving hilariously awesome in the Underworld series.
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May 26, 2017 07:27
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Guy Mann posted:Revenge of the Nerds, The Last Starfighter, and Joysticks are all almost 35 years old. And then just a few years later you get and The Wizard. Don't worry, we got Ready Player One to look forward to next year. 
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May 26, 2017 08:42
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Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:It was exactly what I have come to expect from a Disney live action movie in the same vein as the new Star Wars/Marvel. "Exactly what you'd expect" is the opposite of what I want from a Pirates film. The second and third instalment weren't without flaws, but I enjoyed how outright weird they got at times.
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May 26, 2017 11:43
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Yeah the checklist of what people expect from the movie is pretty short And yet they keep insisting on inserting some boring love interests in the movies.
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May 26, 2017 13:27
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Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:I just saw it, it wasn't bad or anything. It was exactly what I have come to expect from a Disney live action movie in the same vein as the new Star Wars/Marvel. It was OK with the action, some fine humor, you got to see references to things and the characters did what you expect. There was a weak villain whose motivation was to be a one movie villain. If you go to see the Marvel movies, you would probably enjoy this. Even by PotC standards it was completely nonsensical.
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May 26, 2017 13:30
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According to a screenwriter, Pirates 5 was supposed to have a female villain but Depp allegedly vetoed it because he already fought one in Dark Shadows. Unrelated, but Amber Heard is playing the Queen of Atlantis in Justice League this year and Aquaman next year.
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May 26, 2017 13:34
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The MSJ posted:According to a screenwriter, Pirates 5 was supposed to have a female villain but Depp allegedly vetoed it because he already fought one in Dark Shadows. Depp giving up a chance to beat a woman?
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May 26, 2017 13:44
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Alhazred posted:Depp giving up a chance to beat a woman? He's just not into it if it's only acting.
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May 26, 2017 13:51
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Alhazred posted:Depp giving up a chance to beat a woman? Probably hit too close to home, what with being a drunken rambling mess on top of it.
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May 26, 2017 13:54
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The MSJ posted:According to a screenwriter, Pirates 5 was supposed to have a female villain but Depp allegedly vetoed it because he already fought one in Dark Shadows. Dark Shadows isn't a pirates movie, but I guess he's right the only demographic who goes to see pirates movies are depp lovers
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May 26, 2017 16:17
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In fairness to Johnny Depp, it's believable that Eva Green would ruin you for all other women.
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May 26, 2017 16:35
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The MSJ posted:According to a screenwriter, Pirates 5 was supposed to have a female villain but Depp allegedly vetoed it because he already fought one in Dark Shadows. It's funny how absurd this sounds if you apply it to male villains.
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May 26, 2017 16:45
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Fried Watermelon posted:Dark Shadows isn't a pirates movie, but I guess he's right the only demographic who goes to see pirates movies are depp lovers Honestly, I want to see it for Geoffrey Rush ha-ha-harring and Javier Bardem acting through a mouth full of tar.
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May 26, 2017 16:46
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raditts posted:It's funny how absurd this sounds if you apply it to male villains. It's patently absurd, of course, but Depp can't very well just come out and say, "I can't fight a woman onscreen because I'm an accused wife beater," so it'll have to do. I don't even think anyone is supposed to take that excuse seriously. We all know why he can't beat up a woman in the new Pirates movie, but he has to at least pretend we don't.
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May 26, 2017 17:00
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You can have a villain without fighting her directly. In fifth Element Corbin and Leeloo Dallas never even meet the main villain.
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May 26, 2017 17:09
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I also thought 300 2 did a good job thanks to Eva Green. Even if it's not a physical fight as long as it's a battle of strategy and wit and out maneuvering it'd do.
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May 26, 2017 17:12
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I'm kind of surprised they didn't rewrite the scene where Jack Sparrow has a 300-2-esque sex fight with the female villain when they recast to Javier Bardem.
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May 26, 2017 17:15
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Basically what I'm saying is Depp-Bardiem gently caress fighting would be cool but so would a Master and Commander type ship to ship naval warfare and strategy.
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May 26, 2017 17:19
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Al Borland Corp. posted:You can have a villain without fighting her directly. In fifth Element Corbin and Leeloo Dallas never even meet the main villain. It would also work with Wrath of Khan type scenario where they never fight directly they just have their ships fight, especially since ships are a big part of the Pirates franchise
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May 26, 2017 17:28
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