Clark Nova posted:

Surely if bro sells his $60k condo and repatriates the money his racist parents will be set for life

maskenfreiheit posted:

i like the part where they act like croatia is some sort of war torn hellhole

(to be fair, there are a lot of australians on gap year)

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

She has long blue hair, very pale and skinny, and is always wearing black nail polish, lip stick and clothes, Her appearance will become relevant in a moment...

she's starting to kiss my chest/abbs. I'm thinking alright boys, getting lucky tonight. She bit down hard on my abbs. I'm not talking about a little nibble. Hard enough to slightly pierce the skin. I shoved her off, and I yelled what the gently caress her problem was. She told me that they're hers and making sure I know it.

tl;dr: What do I do about my GF?

maskenfreiheit posted:

i like the part where they act like croatia is some sort of war torn hellhole

(to be fair, there are a lot of australians on gap year)

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this person has no idea how telling a story works, or maybe communication in general


I [15M] need adult advice. My girlfriend [16F] bit down hard on my abbs last night and she claimed it's hers.

She has long blue hair, very pale and skinny, and is always wearing black nail polish, lip stick and clothes

quote:

I entered a contest for this sword online. I somehow by the grace of everything managed to win it. It's really cool. It has a black blade with Japanese writing on it. It goes for $1500 to have one made like this one has been. I got it completely for free. My wife however does not want this in the house. She told me it's not safe to have things like swords laying around while they're toddlers in the house. She thinks they're going to want to play with it. She told me to get the blade un sharpened or get rid of it. I'll ruin the sword if I do that. I really like it.
tl;dr: Wife is telling me to get rid of the sword I won because of the toddlers.

Charles Get-Out posted:

I [28M] won a very expensive sword and my wife [27F] won't allow it in the house because of our kids.Non-Romantic
submitted 13 hours ago by Swordsinhome


All the comments are suggestions on how he can safely keep the sword.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Teach their kids how to use a sword so they don't gently caress it up?

Pick posted:

Well yeah, I mean I don't see why he should have to get rid of it. Swords are lame but he likes it.

quote:

Not his wife, but if I had to look at a sword with japanese writing on it on a wall mount in a locked case in our bedroom, there certainly would never be any further toddlers coming into the family.

Captain Yossarian posted:

That sword story was on like... The last page but it's still good. Just get rid of the kids, highlander is a documentary

quote:

We've been dating for 2 months and we didn't do anything sexual,for me this is not a problem because before her i was in a very sexual active relationship and got bored of sex.
The problem is that yesterday sex was brought into conversation and she said she doesn't see me as a sexual partner.She said that she doesn't see me as a potential sexual partner(didn't give a reason) but sees other girls as sexual partners (She is still a virgin btw)
For the moment i don't think this will be a problem but if our relationship will go on i think this might be a problem.Any suggestions?
tl;dr: My girlfriend doesn't see me as a sexual partner but sees other girls as sexual partners.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Teach their kids how to use a sword so they don't gently caress it up?

Charles Get-Out posted:

Well poo poo, and here I thought I was pretty diligent. Lemme try again.

Me [17M] with my girlfriend[17F] have been dating for 2 months, and she doesn't see me as a potential sexual partner.

quote:

Help! My [33F] boyfriend [31M] STINKS!

Like I stated, he stinks. This is making it progressively harder to be around him. I noticed that all his clothes smelled horribly of mildew bc when he gets undressed, he used to throw his sweaty wet clothes on the bathroom floor and leave them there for weeks on end. He just moved in with me last month, and I don't allow any clothes to be left on the floor and was originally cleaning up after him, like a mother would. This was very annoying, so we had a talk and he started to pick up after himself. I am still trying to get the mildew smell out of his clothes with vingar and baking soda, hot water and extra fabric softener, both in wash and drier. It is helping a lot, but not completely yet.

When he comes home from work, he works outside for many hours a day, the smell is so pungent, I don't want to come within 6ft of him. Which means, no hug and a very distant, "hey, how was work? Etc. etc." He sometimes forgets and tries to give me a hug and I hold my breath, hug him and usually find my self pushing him away to gasp for breath. It's becoming very depressing for me. I'm pregnant right now (18 weeks, have no morning sickness nor nausea) and would like to be held every once in a while but right now, it's completely out of the question.

Even last night, after his shower, when I go to get all my snuggles, he smelled faintly of mildew or some kind of gross stench. I tried to ignore and just deal with it, but after 20 minutes, I called my dog to lay in between us (she sometimes stinks too, but just of dog and it doesn't turn my stomach like his odor does).

I've tried talking to him about this, but he does not notice any smell and even mentioned that he will use more deodorant. But the thing is, body odor doesn't bother me. I don't mind that thick oniony smell of BO. Sometimes, I even find it a bit arousing. But that musky smell of dead earth, mildew, mold is completely repulsive.

Please help, is there anything I can do to get over this? Are there any suggestions I can give him? How can we fix or rectify this? I really want my snuggles!!!

TL;DR: My boyfriend's musky smell is driving me away, and it's not his BO!

putrid aidsman posted:

putrid aidsman posted:

I called my dog to lay in between us (she sometimes stinks too, but just of dog and it doesn't turn my stomach like his odor does). 

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Teach their kids how to use a sword so they don't gently caress it up?

Blue Train posted:

Hannibal is an extremely good looking bad show

warandpieces, submitted 1 year ago posted:

We are an unlikely couple that gets along incredibly well. He's numbers and I'm arts, his family is in the military and they're very independent whereas I come from a close immigrant family, he is self-made Batman wealthy and I am proud to work in my creative field despite a comparatively humble salary. He says tomayto, I say tomahto. Yet our senses of humour brought us together, and we experienced an ease in each other's presence that felt so natural and unprecedented.

After the first few months of casual hook ups and meals, he confided in a mutual friend that he felt too intimidated by my sexual kinks to pursue more. I wanted to fall in love or not waste my time. We separated, and came back together after he began pursuing me again after a realisation that we were "on the same wavelength in a way no one could match."

Two years later and we have moved in together, adopted cats, picked out carpets, had an awkward marriage talk that resolved in agreeing on a timeline, stayed with my conservative parents with their blessing, and gone on vacations with mixed friend groups. It has been joyous and loving and the envy of our peers. Save for one issue, one monumental issue - or else why would O be here?

Our sex has been pleasurable for the most part since he makes me "horny in the heart", to quote Asa Akira. I felt for the most part our companionship is rarer than hot sex, which I have had plenty of. The issue is I am very giving and I can only get off with oral, though it's like pulling teeth with him. I believe if you have arguments over and over again you haven't communicated properly, yet the issue or reciprocity arose time and again. At first it was his chronic back pain, which is a real and ever present fact of life. Therapy and yoga in the last year have made great strides in this. Then it was his confidence in the act, so I patiently guided and made him feel as able and sexy as possible, lavishing him with praise and attention every time he gave me an orgasm.

Yet he would never initiate, it never felt less like an obligation for long, and it has been a dark cloud over this blissful relationship. Finally, this morning on a trip with some of our friends, after another tearful argument about how he doesn't seem engaged or interested in my pleasure, he admitted he doesn't like my smell. Any of them. My natural smell of my breath, my vagina, my sweat. He said he wasn't attracted to me "pheromones", where I love him all and want to consume him morning breath and all.

It felt so devastating. So final. That he loves me so much but that my smell has had the effect of bringing his sex drive down to almost 0. I swear I am not deluded when I say I shower, I eat well, I workout several times a week and moisturise and wear perfume. I'm East Asian but grew up westernised and no one in my family has a strong odor. Past boyfriends have happily gone down on me with gusto. My SO says I shouldn't have pressed him, he would have just done his duty to make me happy without complaint.

I am a storm of emotions. Is this important enough that it can negate all our other happiness? Part of me is scared to start life without him, with the gorgeous apartment we share and our pets and happy routines together. Our conversation never runs dry and he has always shown me the utmost affection and pride as my partner. He loves me deeply beyond the shadow of a doubt and is my biggest fan.

On the other hand, can I ever unhear this? Will I ever be sexually aroused by him knowing this it borderline unpleasant for him? Will I leap from bed to clean myself on the hopes he will be in the mood for sex? Is this what I, a very empowered, attractive, and sexually giving young woman should choose? He told me he will never be the sexual partner I want, and he isn't wrong. I just try to keep in mind how desire for sex will change as I age, whereas a real emotional connection and security won't.

Tomorrow we fly home and then I leave with my family. We will regroup in a week but he wants us to be a loving couple until then. What shall I focus on to evaluate the relationship? How do I make the better and braver decision, be it to work at it and stay or leave?

Tl;Dr My SO of two years and I are wonderful together except for sexual reciprocity and libido. He just admitted he doesn't like my "pheromones". What now?

putrid aidsman posted:

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

want to consume him

Blue Train posted:

Hannibal is an extremely good looking bad show

Charles Get-Out posted:

I [28M] won a very expensive sword and my wife [27F] won't allow it in the house because of our kids.Non-Romantic
submitted 13 hours ago by Swordsinhome


All the comments are suggestions on how he can safely keep the sword.

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

My SO (M30, 2yrs) admitted that he is not attracted to my (F28) natural smell NSFW

Charles Get-Out posted:

uh oh

maskenfreiheit posted:

Swords will loving cut you wide open.

maskenfreiheit posted:

i like the part where they act like croatia is some sort of war torn hellhole

(to be fair, there are a lot of australians on gap year)

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like we've had a couple stories like this and the smell is always completely mysterious, like something that sticks around after him showering and washing his clothes. It's like they just naturally stink.

I wonder where the guy works maybe he gets it there.

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like we've had a couple stories like this and the smell is always completely mysterious, like something that sticks around after him showering and washing his clothes. It's like they just naturally stink.

I wonder where the guy works maybe he gets it there.

Naerasa posted:

Before I started taking medication for anxiety, I'd freak out about smells that I'd swear were there when they weren't. It would usually have a real origin, like something I spilled in a purse once and cleaned out, but even when everything was clean I'd still insist I could smell the residue.

Given that this girl is a reddit poster, odds are good she really does stink, but it's possible that she might have only smelled bad once on an off-day and he's so freaked out he can't believe the smell is gone. Either that or he just doesn't want to go down on her, which is a possibility as well. Regardless of the reason, they seem like they're not a good match so they should probably just break up.

EDIT: Oh i thought were were talking about stinky vagina girl, not stinky clothes guy. That guy's clothes probably still smell like mildew because the poo poo has set into the fabric and it's too late to get it out. If she cares that much, sh's gonna have to buy him new clothes. Otherwise, she needs to get over it, because her boyfriend's clothes aren't going to magically get any cleaner.

Liquid Communism posted:

Wonder if anyone suggested they get the place checked for carbon monoxide issues. The time loss and hallucinations make me lean that way.

ArbitraryC posted:

Some men/women just aren't willing to go there regardless cause they're selfish in the sack

quote:

Hi, /r/relationships.

First thing, I'm using a throw because my bf is very active on Reddit. For that same reason, a few details have been fudged as well.

I met my bf (Brad) in college four years ago, started off as friends, yadda yadda. He was really kind, generous, and very geeky, which immediately drew me to him. Other than this issue, we have a really incredible relationship. Like, seriously, he's treated me better than any other guy I've ever been with. Our communication has been really stellar up until now and we haven't had any serious issues before this. We usually resolve our disagreements pretty quickly and don't stay mad at each other very long.

Sooo... my older sister has been trying for a baby with her husband for more than a year and finally got pregnant with their first baby five and a half months ago. We're all really super excited, it's a baby girl, blah blah. The baby shower is this weekend. I've been like... having spasms shopping for gifts and stuff. I'm really pumped.

The shower is girls only. As I understand it, it's pretty traditional to have girls only showers if your baby is a girl. I don't see a problem with it AT ALL and that's how my sister wants it.

Yesterday, I took Brad shopping with me for some finishing touches on the baby basket I'm going to bring. I was enthusing about it to him and he made a comment about what kind of drinks he should bring. I said, "Oh it's girls only. Sorry, dude! I'll bring back food if there's any left, though." and then just sort of laughed it off. He looked kind of surprised for a minute, muttered "Really?" and then dropped it. The rest of our trip through the store and the rest of our trip home was okay, but a lot quieter.

I kept asking him in the car if he was upset, but he just told me it was "Nothing," and kept doing poo poo on his phone.
We got back to our place and I went to unload the groceries and he just made a beeline to our computer room and shut the door. I went in there and asked him wtf his problem was and he looked at me and said, "You should know."
He's not usually passive aggressive, so I was pretty alarmed, but I figured I'd leave him alone for a while and let him come to me when he was ready to talk.

Later last night, bed time came and he was still on his comp, so I came in there to finally have a talk with him about what's wrong. I asked him if it was about the baby shower "no boys allowed" thing and what the comment earlier was about and he said, "I don't think you should go."

This really upset me, I asked him why not.

"Because it's sexist. Girls only? Why can't men come? That's misandrist."

I explained to him that it's a tradition thing, that I don't think it's as big of a deal as he's making it out to be, and then asked him why guys would want to come watch women gush about girl stuff for hours anyway?

He said "It's loving sexist and that's gender stereotyping. If I went anyway, would they call rape?"

I was completely flabbergasted. We ended up having a huge argument over it, for the stupidest loving reason in the world, and this all came out of left field. He kept saying stuff about "female privilege" and "gender segregation" and all of this stuff about how my sister is discriminating against men by not allowing them to attend her baby shower. Her husband's not even going, for Christ's sake. I couldn't stop thinking how stupidly upset he was getting over such a small thing.

I ended up telling him that he was just mad ONLY because he couldn't go, that he didn't really want to go anyway and he yelled, "You are supporting the matriarchy by going to this shower!"

I was beyond frustrated and decided that the best thing to do was to let it rest and wake up in the morning so we could have a calm discussion about it. I slept on the couch to give him some space.

The next morning, I approached him and said, "Brad, I understand that your feelings are hurt, but please let me explain to you that this shower is important for me and my family and please respect my sister's preference that men not attend."
He told me flat out that he was going to go anyway in protest and then he was going to educate my sister on misandry.
I'd had enough. I got up and left. I've been at my mom's for a while now. I haven't told anybody in the family about this yet, I think I just need an objective opinion from strangers on the internet, as stupid as that sounds.

PLEASE understand, we aren't political people. I don't do the gender politics thing, it's just not something that I spend time thinking about. Brad has never given ANY indication that he passionately cared about this stuff until yesterday. I'm just really shocked that we've had four years together and this is just now popping up. I'm in a really scary place right now, because I'm not sure I totally know who he is after four years of being by his side. I feel like he was a total rear end in a top hat to me last night and this morning and this is so unlike him. He's always been really good to my family, sister included. Why the nastiness now? Or am I the rear end in a top hat?

Please help, Reddit. I love my bf, but I don't want to have arguments over stupid gender politics that have me sleeping in the couch and I do NOT want him crashing my sister's baby shower to "prove a point" and ruin my future niece's birth.
EDIT: After reading all the comments so far (thank you guys for offering your advice and perspectives), I've decided that I'm going to go home and try to have a talk about this ridiculousness. I turned my phone on and there were at least ten texts and two voicemails. He said a lot of stuff, but it boiled down to, "I'm sorry it turned into a huge fight, come home so we can talk about this, this is really important, you don't understand how this makes me feel," etc. I'll update if something happens.

tl;dr: Sister is having a baby girl, baby shower is this weekend and girls only. Told my bf and he had a temper tantrum, told me not to go, and plans to crash it and make the whole thing awkward to "educate people about sexism." I don't want to break up, but if he pulls this poo poo, I'm afraid I'll have no choice. This is coming out of literally nowhere and I'm so disoriented. Help!