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ArbitraryC posted:When I first heard about love languages it sorta made sense, like different relationships have different dynamics and people express/receive affection in different ways, but every time I end up seeing it used in some r/relationship post it just seems to be someone trying to justify lovely behavior. So it's basically just like "triggering" and "gaslighting" then.
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May 30, 2017 18:41
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To clarify, I know those are both things and they happen. But the way that the internet sometimes stretches them to the breaking point.
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May 30, 2017 18:43
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Yeah it's exactly like that, or calling someone controlling and abusive for breaking up with you when you book a flight to amsterdam to gently caress your ex behind their back. Just a buzzword that people think magically changes the situation so they're the goodguy.
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May 30, 2017 18:45
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fruit on the bottom posted:To clarify, I know those are both things and they happen. But the way that the internet sometimes stretches them to the breaking point. Seems so!
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May 30, 2017 18:46
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Danaru posted:Is there a word for someone who gets off on the idea of their partner cheating on them? An unfortunately common one, but I believe it's gendered male. The mental state of a woman who's being being cheated on wasn't important enough to merit its own words I guess.
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May 30, 2017 18:47
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Doc Hawkins posted:An unfortunately common one, but I believe it's gendered male. The mental state of a woman who's being being cheated on wasn't important enough to merit its own words I guess. it's cuckquean, god bless
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May 30, 2017 18:52
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Charles Get-Out posted:I agree, but they also continued to smoke indoors. They only smoked outdoors when he was obviously around. I didn't get from the story. It sounds like an hey were smoking on th the porch. They were a little inconsiderate by not closing the door. I haven't smokd in years but I probably would have gone a little farther than the porch if I knew it was bothering someone, barring heavy rain or something. I still don't think that the boyfriend is being reasonable.
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May 30, 2017 18:52
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Martha Stewart Undying posted:it's cuckquean, god bless And I suppose the female form of "bull" is "cow"? 
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May 30, 2017 18:54
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:for people who were brought up that gifts and favors represent debts to be repaid a tremendous volume of unasked and unwanted favors basically amounts to a shakedown, and she's literally keeping a running tab of what he 'owes' her down to the gallon of gas so that's clearly how it's intended didn't expect to see why I don't exchange gifts with the family except for xmas itt.
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May 30, 2017 18:57
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Doc Hawkins posted:And I suppose the female form of "bull" is "cow"? Fool
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May 30, 2017 18:59
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therobit posted:I didn't get from the story. It sounds like an hey were smoking on th the porch. They were a little inconsiderate by not closing the door. I haven't smokd in years but I probably would have gone a little farther than the porch if I knew it was bothering someone, barring heavy rain or something. I still don't think that the boyfriend is being reasonable. considering he was exposed to the smoke several times and didn't have any tangible reaction other than being grossed out my verdict would be that he's a baby that needs to sack up. I don't smoke and was super glad when places started banning indoor smoke but if I'm visiting family or friends or whatever in their own home and they wanna chainsmoke, you just put up with it. After a bit i feel like you don't even notice the smell much until you go back out to get some fresh air. Really the worst part is it gets stuck to your clothes.
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May 30, 2017 19:00
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Martha Stewart Undying posted:yeah but that awesome gf isnt giving her bf slapchops and cookiemasters; she's handwriting notes on why she thinks he's awesome or why she loves him or a myriad of other self-esteem building bullshit. I get that that's what she thinks she's doing, and just for the record I agree. Dude sounds like a black hole and, if everything is working like she thinks it is, she can obviously do better and it's sort of a mystery why she hasn't. This is Reddit, though, so I don't trust that she's got a great read on her own behavior. The smart money says they're both brokebrained, and for me it's more fun to guess how than it is to imagine that she's just spent years rationalizing her way back into a relationship with someone who treats her like a piece of furniture. Actually, nevermind. Both possibilities seem equally fun. I guess I'm down for either.
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May 30, 2017 19:03
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therobit posted:I still don't think that the boyfriend is being reasonable. I don't disagree with that, frankly if it bothers him that much/he's that sensitive he should've been clued in not to go as soon as his GF mentioned there are multiple people who smoke heavily in and around the house.
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May 30, 2017 19:06
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Doc Hawkins posted:And I suppose the female form of "bull" is "cow"? Certh ew pop?
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May 30, 2017 19:17
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The whole concept of 'love language' should be pretty obvious for anyone who's had a minimum of one healthy relationship, which is why people soliciting reddit for advice think it's some sort of magic secret to unlock.
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May 30, 2017 19:20
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Charles Get-Out posted:I don't disagree with that, frankly if it bothers him that much/he's that sensitive he should've been clued in not to go as soon as his GF mentioned there are multiple people who smoke heavily in and around the house. I think he expected them to be less obnoxious about it, as many smokers are I 16f noticed my mom 36f and dad 37m live a very different life from my friends parents (40+ m/f). My dad is the only one who can take me to a birthday party (where parents stay) and unsure how to ask him to tone down the way he acts/behaves? quote:So my dad grew up really wealthy and has never worked a day in his life since high school. He spends most of his time laying around playing video games with my younger brother 14m and as he jokes making babies with my mother. He has a few hours of the day 1-2 where he locks himself in his office and spends time to himself. my mom always has different explanation as to why he does this "he needs time to himself, he has work to do, he is talking to family." When he doesn't get this time he is very agitated and is off for the whole day. My dad is also very dodgy about his parents who live only a few towns over and who we are not allowed to mention or ask to meet because my dad gets extremely agitated and angry when we do. A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:29 on May 30, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 19:20
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cuckette?
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May 30, 2017 19:30
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Smoking allergic boyfriend is very passive aggressive. The solution is for everyone involved to kill themselves because I'm having a bad day.
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May 30, 2017 19:33
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ArbitraryC posted:When I first heard about love languages it sorta made sense, like different relationships have different dynamics and people express/receive affection in different ways, but every time I end up seeing it used in some r/relationship post it just seems to be someone trying to justify lovely behavior. I think it's because you're supposed to care about the other person's "love language", not your own. You should adapt to showing affection in a way that will be best appreciated by them as opposed to justifying lovely behavior by saying "that's just my love language". The moment you make it about your preference is the moment you missed the point. (Though the other person should at least make an effort to be appreciative if you spontaneously express affection in a way that comes naturally to you but they might not care for that much.) I can't discard the idea of "love languages" outright because my grandma loves to give gifts lavishly, often and at lengths that make her grandchildren kinda uncomfortable, particularly because she seems to want to go beyond her means, and she's pretty insistent about it. I care little for having fancy things, I'll hurt grandma's fellings by asking for utilitarian stuff like kitchen tools or yet another book because that's not "special", and she doesn't seem to be able to wrap her head around the fact that I don't feel particularly loved when being pressured into coming up with something I'd want so I just try to indulge her every now and then. It's a good illustration of what I was saying above because without any malice or carelessness she gets it precisely wrong. She'll say "well, I want to show you how much I love you and that's how I do it" but she'd benefit from realizing that if her goal is to make that love really felt on some hindbrain level as opposed to consciously going "grandma is being nice to me, she loves me" she'd get much better results doing it in some way her grandkids best understand.
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May 30, 2017 19:35
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Pick posted:He never will. He never cared that much. He doesn't even talk to his mother so I don't see where I would have ever made the grade. I'll take the bait. A guy's relationship with his mother is going to be some funhouse mirror version of his relationship with you, and so the overwhelming odds are that a guy who can't talk to his mom will make a relentlessly lovely partner. You'd be better off with dishwasher guy or, I don't know, any one of the Big Bang Theory second-stringers you've Tindered out of Portland's upside-down.
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May 30, 2017 19:38
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I dunno, it's pretty frequent that a guy's mom behaves badly towards the son's girlfriend or at least poo poo-talks the girlfriend behind her back because she's not good enough for mom's golden boy or whatever. I'd say being a momma's boy is a much bigger red flag than not having an overly close relationship with your parents.
SaltyJesus fucked around with this message at 19:48 on May 30, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 19:45
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A true mommas boy is a poison worse than "isnt the warmest to his mother"
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May 30, 2017 19:46
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SaltyJesus posted:I dunno, it's pretty frequent that a guy's mom behaves badly towards her son's girlfriend or at least poo poo-talks the girlfriend behind her back because she's not good enough for mom's golden boy or whatever. I'd say being a momma's boy is a much bigger red flag than not having an overly close relationship with your parents. or mommy dearest could just be incredibly hard to live with, or any number of things that could vary from one relationship between two humans to another, but don't let that stop Oedipus here
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May 30, 2017 19:48
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SaltyJesus posted:I dunno, it's pretty frequent that a guy's mom behaves badly towards her son's girlfriend or at least poo poo-talks the girlfriend behind her back because she's not good enough for her golden boy or whatever. I'd say being a momma's boy is a much bigger red flag than not having an overly close relationship with your parents. This guy still talks to his mom. Would it kill you to call every once in a while? quote:My [26M] mother [50sF] has been disrespectful to me and my wife [23F] after we lost our child Well, OK. Not by the end. But people's relationships with their families are pretty good indicators of how well they handle long-term relationships in general, and while some minority of people are unrelentingly awful most of them are just heir to ordinary human frailty.
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May 30, 2017 19:55
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Pick posted:Did I ever tell you about the guy whose idea of a love language was that he wanted to be able to gently caress me at anytime, and in return he would occasionally load the dishwasher if we ever moved in together? Wow, a very precise love language Haha. That also reminds me of the older story about this girl and her creepy rear end boyfriend who was touching her inappropriately at every free moment possible to the point that her vagina was sore (  ) every other day. The insane clincher is some woman replies in the comments saying "I wish I were in your shoes because my boyfriend doesn't understand my love language of touch and doesn't touch me anywhere as much as I'd like" completely missing the point of OP's absurdly messed up story and then some. While I'm sure using love languages to communicate ordinary, healthy desires is good and fine, I'm talking about nutty people on reddit who have no idea what ordinary or healthy means in their stupid lives. That's where the issue lies. There's also the whole impression I get that love languages are the most basic tenants of how a reasonably decent relationship functions on a day-to-day basis and you don't need to communicate them if you're an alright, capable human being. Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 20:04 on May 30, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 19:56
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Edit: sorry, posted with my butt. For content, I've been looking at r/socialskills lately and it's full of gems! You just have to dig around the endless soul-sucking sadness to find them. But in between the  accounts of these people's failure to find love and friendship you get this: Bomrek fucked around with this message at 20:23 on May 30, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 20:19
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I 16f noticed my mom 36f and dad 37m live a very different life from my friends parents (40+ m/f). My dad is the only one who can take me to a birthday party (where parents stay) and unsure how to ask him to tone down the way he acts/behaves?
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May 30, 2017 20:20
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it's cuckquean and the bull is called a cuckcake. they're much rarer than make cucks but MUCH more intense about it. i knew a woman who had a chastity device permanently installed as part of her cuck fantasy.
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May 30, 2017 20:22
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DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:it's cuckquean and the bull is called a cuckcake. they're much rarer than make cucks but MUCH more intense about it. i knew a woman who had a chastity device permanently installed as part of her cuck fantasy. This sounds like a joke but I believe it. Also I'm not googling it.
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May 30, 2017 20:24
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haha man remember back in college, we just had normal 3-ways?
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May 30, 2017 20:25
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Latest in r/theredpill shitposting My fwb[19M] is in love with me, but I[21F] am not. I don't want the sex to end however. Is there a way I can convince him to continue sleeping with me in secret, but not be in a relationship? quote:I met this guy John at my school's running club. He's was confident, charming, and overall fun guy to be around. We exchanged numbers and continued to hang out until we ended up hooking up with each other. The sex was amazing and the best I've ever had and I've a had a fair share of sexual partners and consider myself a pretty experienced gal in bed. I wanted to sleep with him again, but I found out lots of things about him that completely shocked me. Good dick will crowd control you
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May 30, 2017 20:49
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You get 3 bans, lady, make em count.
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May 30, 2017 20:52
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:haha man remember back in college, we just had normal 3-ways? no  AmiYumi posted:Reddit gives us so many opportunities to play "autistic or just an rear end in a top hat?" see, that's boring, the game Reddit is playing is "YOUR DAD'S A DRUG DEALER AND HE'S GOING DOWN" or "here is a vivid description of all the ways your dad is masturbating every minute he's out of eyesight, 16-year-old" A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 21:04 on May 30, 2017 |
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May 30, 2017 20:54
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:no Although the mention of him "getting grumpy when he doesn't get his alone time" made me think he was maaaaaybe on drugs. I need my me time too, and it's probably not that at all, but it's what popped into my head. The whole story with the two houses in the same city is pretty weird though.
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May 30, 2017 21:05
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Bamabalacha posted:Although the mention of him "getting grumpy when he doesn't get his alone time" made me think he was maaaaaybe on drugs. I need my me time too, and it's probably not that at all, but it's what popped into my head. I figure the second house is just in the appropriate school district.
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May 30, 2017 21:23
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Bamabalacha posted:Although the mention of him "getting grumpy when he doesn't get his alone time" made me think he was maaaaaybe on drugs. I need my me time too, and it's probably not that at all, but it's what popped into my head. I thought the same exact thing, like he's in there smoking weed, or perhaps doing heroin.
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May 30, 2017 21:26
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Barudak posted:You get 3 bans, lady, make em count.
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May 30, 2017 21:27
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therobit posted:I don't see where she is saying he had an asthma attack and had to go to the hospital, so I am thinking that this allergy is being exaggerated because he is a big baby. I'm a little late for this, but I'm allergic to cigarette smoke (actually hyper-sensitive, you can't be allergic to it). I don't have asthma, if I have to be around it for a long time like that I have chest congestion, feelings like my chest and respiratory system are burning, and a very itchy rash that breaks out on my torso and arms. No asthma. I just try to stay outside as much as possible and open the window at night.
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May 30, 2017 21:28
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Me [34f] with my husband [44 M], he just huffed from a reddi-whip can.quote:Right, so I made eggs, sausage and a french toast bake with strawberries and whipped cream for dinner. Lazy me, using whipped cream from a can...
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May 30, 2017 21:30
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Cat Army
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dudeness posted:Me [34f] with my husband [44 M], he just huffed from a reddi-whip can. lmao My girlfriend [26F] and I [25M] of one year just moved in together. We are having issues with my hobby. quote:I play a tabletop game called Magic the Gathering. I am a very competitive person. I'm always a good sport and I am always positive. I take my losses well and always seek to improve myself. I've gotten so much better than her and my friends that she feels left behind. She feels she can't share in the game with me anymore. So, now all my time spent on the game excludes her.
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