/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

HoAssHo posted:

I know a dude who was married to a white woman but was completely obsessed with Asian women. He talked about it constantly to anyone who would listen and I'm sure his wife had to have known. He was a history grad student and, naturally, his focus was Asian history. As part of his program, he took a month long trip to China without his wife. This went about as well you'd expect. He managed to fall in love with some girl over there, which ended in him getting divorced (which is good thing of course since he was obviously never going to be happy with her. I don't know why they even got married. He didn't even seem to like her when they were dating.)

The thing with the Chinese girl didn't work out but he got himself a mail-order bride from Vietnam, so it's all good. Before he met her though, he was trying to internet date for the first time after his divorce. He got so obsessed with it that he would bring his laptop with him when he'd come to our house to hang out so he could constantly check his many dating accounts for responses, to the point where we'd have to physically take it away from him and hide it because he was being driven insane by his need to gently caress Asians.

Why was this insane weird weirdo your friend who you intentionally hung out with?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:57

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Im assuming the dude makes killer Dim Sum

# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:58

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

Benagain posted:

Why the gently caress were you hanging out with this person.

My husband's old friend from high school. I never really liked him because he was an rear end in a top hat in other ways too but he was really funny so people put up with a lot of bad behavior from him. He moved away with his mail-order bride a few years ago so thankfully I'm free of him now.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:58

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Every slash writers worst nightmare

My [24F] husband [27M] wants to read my writing. I haven't told him the whole truth about what I write and I'm embarrassed.

u/Smutwriter93

quote:

I feel really weird about this and I'm not sure what the "right" answer is.

So, I'm a writer. I enjoy writing, I do it a lot. Obviously, my husband knows and is always encouraging me. I appreciate his help a lot.

Right now I'm not actually published or anything, I mostly just post stuff to a few different sites online, and I tend to get pretty good feedback. My husband has never really read anything I've written though. I know it sounds weird, but I've always told him I'm painfully shy about what I write and I preferred he not read it, and he has always respected that.

And there is a reason I'm shy about it. When my husband asks what I write, I've always told him that it's just some "dumb sci-fi".

But that's only half-true. I.....kinda.....write smut. And not "light" smut either. The stuff I write can get pretty hardcore. I have no problem with people reading and enjoying it as long as I am hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, but I feel like I would die if someone who actually knows me were to read what I had written!

And it's not just that. The main characters are based off my husband and I. Obviously not so much that someone who read it would be able to tell who I was talking about, but if my husband were to read it, he just might figure it out. So....I'm not sure how he would react to discovering some of my pretty dark fantasies of us.

Like I said before, my husband always respected my privacy and never really asked to see my writing. But recently he saw me typing away at my computer and made the comment that he would really like to read what I've written some time. It kinda got my head spinning as I had kind of assumed he had just forgotten about it.

And all above aside, part of me feels kind of guilty, too. Like I'm hiding something from him.

Should I show my husband what I've written. And if you could put yourself in his shoes, how do you think you would react to finding out your wife/gf is a smut writer? I don't want to embarrass him, or make him mad, and I feel like I'll die of embarrassment if he winds up not liking it! What do?

tl;dr: I write erotica stories, based on my fantasies about my husband and I. He wants to read my writing sometime, not knowing what it is. Halp!

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:07

Shugojin: Sep 6, 2007; THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...

Goddammit, "pnurtis" just popped into my head and I can't stop giggling about it

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:11

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Blue Train posted:

Every slash writers worst nightmare

My [24F] husband [27M] wants to read my writing. I haven't told him the whole truth about what I write and I'm embarrassed.

u/Smutwriter93

Hell yeah let your husband in on your weird-rear end kinks. He'll probably be down to try most of them you big weirdo.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:13

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

Blue Train posted:

Every slash writers worst nightmare

My [24F] husband [27M] wants to read my writing. I haven't told him the whole truth about what I write and I'm embarrassed.

u/Smutwriter93

What if he's into it, though?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:13

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Blue Train posted:

Every slash writers worst nightmare

My [24F] husband [27M] wants to read my writing. I haven't told him the whole truth about what I write and I'm embarrassed.

u/Smutwriter93

She should definitely show her bizarre erotica to her husband because I bet he will crack up and find it utterly hilarious. Alternatively, it will spice up their sex life, so why be shy about it?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:15

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

She should definitely show her bizarre erotica to her husband because I bet he will crack up and find it utterly hilarious. Alternatively, it will spice up their sex life, so why be shy about it?

Its vore and he always ends up eaten by her.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:22

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

It's probably harmless. The giantess vore people always, always mention their kink even when they are trying to remain anonymous.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:25

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Zil posted:

Its vore and he always ends up eaten by her.

Maybe it's dog dicks.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:26

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

10 bucks it's her and her husband as dr who and the companion, and she fucks him with her dog dick

# ? Jun 2, 2017 01:29

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Me [26 M] with my "best friend"[28 M] and ex-girlfriend [27/F]. They're together now and they incessantly want to "make it right." Not sure how to handle it.

quote:

I met my best friend "Dave" in college as undergrads. We studied for graduate tests together and became really close friends. We got into the same program at the same school and were inseparable. We lived together, always hung-out together, we helped each other with life problems. Until he stabbed me in the back.

I met "Jane" while in grad school, we began dating and had a really great relationship. She wasn't too fond of Dave at first, but they grew to respect one another and became close enough that we could always hang-out as a trio. We had (as recently as 4 months ago) made plans to get a place together, had talked about future engagements, etc. All seemed to be going really well.

I came home from a week that was just awful. I opened the door and Jane and Dave were sitting there. They had food on the table and were fidgeting. They asked me to sit down and just hit me with it. They were in love. They hadn't fooled around at all (I call bull but I digress) and needed me to know. Dave was going to move out and into Jane's place, but would pay 6 months rent in advance (I can afford the place on my own, so whatever). He was leaving immediately. They had purchased food they knew I liked to "break the tension". They got up, apologized, Jane tearfully hugged me. Dave tearfully hugged me. Both apologized again and left.

Well, the last couple weeks have been really rough. They gave me a lot of space, and accepted their blame when people called them on their poo poo. Dave moved out and I took-over the space as an office. I've tried to move on and am doing my best. Except, that after two weeks of radio silence, they sort of have tried to get back into my life.

First Jane texted and apologized. She wanted to remain friends and said that she'll forever love me and feel horrible for how she screwed me over. Then Dave started texting. Wanted to go for a beer, wanted to chat, had an extra ticket for a ball game, needed some advice. This has been going on non-stop. They invited me to their house warming party and when I didn't show, they begged me.

One of our friends expressed a romantic interest in me (through friends) and both Jane and I found out. Jane offered me relationship advice and said that she was a great girl (if I was ready to date again) and that she'd be lucky to date me. That was a really odd conversation to have. (Edit: To be clear, this was again where I answered Yes/No/Okay and it wasn't a full conversation).

I received a text about 5 minutes ago from Dave begging me to go for a beer tomorrow. I replied with a "ha, no" and this is his response:

"Plz. Look, we need to talk. You and I. About everything. Please. We can go where you want or feel most comfortable. We can get a beer and just talk. J and me want to move past. neither of us want you out of our lives. We want to be the trio. We know we hurt you. Please come for a drink."

Honestly, getting over this has been incredibly hard with those two constantly jabbering me and trying to make us friends again. I'm really not sure what to say. I feel so emotionally drained, I'm just not sure.

I need everyone's advice.

Edit: Ex and I dated for just over 2 1/2 years.

For once, the comments aren't garbage:

quote:

I hate people like this. "I'm taking my responsibility for my actions, why won't you forgive meeeeeeee?!?!?!" You don't owe them jack poo poo. If you MUST talk to them, tell them that if they were really sorry about hurting you, they'd leave you alone. They should grow the gently caress up and actually deal with the consequences of their actions.

Then block their numbers, remove from facebook, etc.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The comment is right on the money.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:17

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

[Texas] My obese neighbor called the police and said I didn't help him when he fell on the stairs. Police said I could face punishment if this happens again. Is this true?

OP posted:

I live in an apartment-complex, my next door neighbor is an obese man, I'm guessing he is around 400 pounds or more (based on what I've seen on the net, I don't know his actual numbers). I am a small woman with barely any body strength.

A couple of days ago, in the middle of the night, my neighbor fell down on the staircase. I woke to the sound of him falling down and I went out to check what had happened. My neighbor told me not to call an ambulance and to just help him up. I told him I wasn't able to. Then he told me to go and get the other neighbors (to help get him up), when I told him I wasn't really able to get around him, he suggested I did some acrobatic stunts, I refused.

During all of this he kept saying that he was in pain and he was obviously having trouble breathing. Finally I said I was done discussing this and I called an ambulance. He started screaming profanities at me and the tried getting the attention of the other neighbors, they either didn't hear him or, more likely, they didn't care.

The ambulance showed up, the paramedics helped up my neighbor (it required 3 adult men and the use of tools) and they drove him to a hospital due to him complaining about being in pain. I went back to sleep and didn't think much about.

This morning I got a call from my local police. The asked about what had happened and I said the same things I've said here. The person I talked to get asking "what did you do to help your neighbor get up" and I in turned said "What would you do in my situation?" and "what was I excepted to do".

I was then told that my neighbor had made a complaint about me, he had said that I had made no attempts to help him, despite him telling me how to (help him). The person I was talking to said I was a crime to not help a person in need and if this happened again I could expect to be fined or put in jail.

I have also gotten a letter from my neighbor saying he would sue me, it didn't really refer to any law or such, so it is not really much of a concern.

My question is, is this really true? I get you're required by law to help someone in need, but what was I supposed to do? I thought me calling an ambulance, on a person in need, is me helping.

If anything like this happens again, should I simply refrain from stepping out? My other neighbor didn't and they haven't gotten in trouble about it.

I know a thing or two about good samaritan laws, and I know that no it's not loving illegal for an untrained civilian to not help someone, but in fact it's encouraged that they just call an ambulance. Hell even if you ARE trained in first aid, you're still not legally compelled unless you're an emergency worker.

quote:

Did you verify that it was actually a police officer you were speaking with? That phone call sounds very strange.

OP posted:

The person said "this is full name from department at name of local police station", but other than that I didn't get verification.

The person seemed annoyed as hell, like a "why do I have to deal with this poo poo" kinda way, I had a feeling they were just talking out of their rear end.

A lot of Texans are chiming in that police almost never give out their first name, just saying "Officer <Lastname>", so it's looking like this guy got so mad at a woman for calling an ambulance for him that he had a friend impersonate a police officer and intimidate her into not doing it again.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:26

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

To be fair, ambulances are not cheap, and dude may not have had insurance.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:50

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

He should have been ambulatory then, hehe

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:54

Unload My Head: Oct 2, 2013

chumbler posted:

To be fair, ambulances are not cheap, and dude may not have had insurance.

For sure that's why he's pissed, but once he got hurt what other option was there?

I mean sure, you'd love to not have an accident and end up in the hospital but harassing someone for helping you is some lovely poo poo.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:56

CRINDY: Sep 23, 2010; forget about ur worries and ur strife

"Ambulances are expensive" is a lesson this guy has probably already learned in his life. Some of the comments say this has likely happened to the guy already and it's why he responded in that way. I mean, I've always driven myself to the ER instead of calling 911, but you need to be able to get up and get to your car to do that.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 02:57

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

It's still surreal to me that people have to pay for an ambulance. Do US citizens have to pay for the doctor to take the bullet out of them after they get mugged, too?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:29

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Uh, I believe we do. Yes.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

We dont pay the doctor, silly, we pay the surgeon.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:32

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Then we have to pay out of pocket for rehab since our insurance does not cover therapy to regain use of our damaged limbs. They will happily pay for the pain pills and cane we need to walk though.

Zil fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Jun 2, 2017

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Serephina posted:

It's still surreal to me that people have to pay for an ambulance. Do US citizens have to pay for the doctor to take the bullet out of them after they get mugged, too?

Yes.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:36

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Unless you're smart and and you use a fake name so they can't collect from your ER visit and they make back he cost by raising prices across the board for everyone who has insurance knowing that insurance will pay about a third so maybe they can make it back that way.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:38

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

Guess the ages. Go on. Guess.
Should I (20/F) be upset with my boyfriend (32/M) for engaging in group masturbation without talking to me about it?

quote:

So, we have been together for about a year and a half, and both have monogamy in mind for our relationship and have from the beginning.

A couple weeks ago, however, he somewhat casually mentioned that he was at a party earlier this year at which he masturbated to climax in an orgy-type situation.

I didn't really press him to talk about it then and there. I felt a pang of some sort of hurt but I didn't want to freak out over something that could be no big of a deal (I've had some insecurity issues and used to get overly jelous of stuff like porn, so now I try to take a step back and ponder on why something is bothering me before I confront him)

But it kinda kept coming up in my mind. It hasn't completely shattered my trust like cheating would, but I'm not sure I'm okay with it. I think the main reason it bothers me is because we hadn't agreed apon it beforehand. I think all sexual situations involving other people (toaching or not should be discussed between partners, especially if one party is not present. It bothers me that he didn't even think twice about it, and that he didn't think it was necessary to tell me till months later (I think I would be less upset if he told me right after)

Is that reasonable? I don't know how to feel and I don't know what a rational response to something like this would be.

[TL;DR] boyfriend casually mentions masturbating in group setting months after the fact, I'm conflicted over weather it's a big deal or not

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:40

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Actually there are some victims of crime funds that will pay for things like rape exams and post exposure medication. YMMV by state and locality. Also part of a criminal sentencing can include restitution to pay for victims medical bills if the guilty party has means (lol good luck).

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:40

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so :froggonk:

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Danaru posted:

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so :froggonk:

>:(

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:43

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Danaru posted:

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so

a hundred?

Motherfucker.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:45

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Danaru posted:

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so

Think in the US it is about $150 or so per mile travelled :911:

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:48

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Danaru posted:

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so

that's only about 75 freedom dollars

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Zil posted:

Think in the US it is about $150 or so per mile travelled

Varies greatly by locality. Two miles for this guy cost him $2700

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.usatoday.com/story/334338001/

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:52

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Danaru posted:

To be fair we have to pay for ambulances in Canada too. You can get them waived in certain circumstances, but for the most part you'll be out a hundred or so

An ambulance could easily be $2000 at the low-end in the US without insurance.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:53

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I'm not going to complain about ambulance fees anymore

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:54

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

im proud to be an american, where at least i know im free (to make the choice to forgo medical care or bankrupt myself if i ever spend a single second unemployed)

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:54

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

ThePeavstenator posted:

im proud to be an american, where at least i know im free to make the choice to forgo medical care or bankrupt myself if i ever spend a single second unemployed

And sometimes even if you are employed!

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:55

ranbo das: Oct 16, 2013

There's a dude at my work who swears that not having health insurance is the best way to go because as long as you give a fake name and address you'll never pay a cent. He's an EMT and apparently people will do this all the time with zero consequences.

I'm a coward so I still have insurance but I'm probably BWM.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 03:59

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

ranbo das posted:

There's a dude at my work who swears that not having health insurance is the best way to go because as long as you give a fake name and address you'll never pay a cent. He's an EMT and apparently people will do this all the time with zero consequences.

I'm a coward so I still have insurance but I'm probably BWM.

This is part of why it costs so much. But it's also hard to blame them when the alternative is bankruptcy

# ? Jun 2, 2017 04:05

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:06

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Barudak posted:

We dont pay the doctor, silly, we pay the surgeon.

Don't forget that the anesthesiologist will bill separately if they have to put you under. :capitalism:

# ? Jun 2, 2017 04:15

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