UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

He's got to do something to entertain himself. Hasn't needed to do any campaigning.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:29

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:58

Halisnacks: Jul 18, 2009

Gort posted:

Isn't that statement basically meaningless? Like, no poo poo if a leader's party loses a lot of seats they might see a leadership challenge.

Who's going to replace Tim Farron and Paul Nuttall?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:37

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

https://twitter.com/AngelaRayner/status/872019333253398528

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:37

R. Mute: Jul 27, 2011

Gort posted:

Isn't that statement basically meaningless? Like, no poo poo if a leader's party loses a lot of seats they might see a leadership challenge.

It'd be meaningful if the blades are already sharpened before the election results have even come in - bit like with the Brexit vote.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:39

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

I know that hope is a lie and that if you can't fix what's broken you'll go insane, but working class populist anger was the poll-upsetter in both Brexit and Trump's election, although even as I'm typing that I remembered shy Toryism was the poll-upsetter in 2015, so gently caress, I don't know

edit - wait, no, it was working class populist desire for change, that was it, maybe Corbyn not being stridently anti-Brexit will turn out for the best after all

freebooter fucked around with this message at 13:42 on Jun 6, 2017

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:40

Borrovan: Aug 15, 2013; IT IS ME.
🧑‍💼
I AM THERESA MAY

It was a while back we were talking about this, but here's the 2 complaints I've made to the BBC so far today - I figure if enough people complain we've got a chance of getting some kind of response tomorrow, and pasting these here might save people some time. Does anyone know when the DP show was that had the "how awesome is Theresa May on a scale from totally to absolutely" poll was, so I can bother them about that one and all?

quote:

In January it was reported that the BBC Trust had concluded that a Laura Kuenssberg report for the News at Six in November 2015 breached your impartiality and accuracy guidelines, by misrepresenting the meaning of "shoot to kill" (i.e., an informal policy that the police in Northern Ireland were accused of adopting during the Troubles, and that has never been official policy) in the context of comments made by Jeremy Corbyn.

Despite this, mere days before a general election, you have repeated the same error across your news sources: see, for example, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-40158309 (among many others). This is utterly outrageous. As responsible journalists you have a responsibility to ensure that the public are informed - or, at least, not misinformed. You must be aware that "shoot to kill" has never been official policy and that the attackers last Saturday were killed by the exercise of reasonable force - a policy which Jeremy Corbyn has at no point condemned. Deliberately misinforming the public in the wake of a terrorist attack mere days before a general election betrays flagrant bias and I am seriously considering discontinuing my support for the BBC.

The next one relates to yesterday's Daily Politics, 7 minutes into the program (the complaint form asks you for that):

quote:

The introduction to your piece on terrorism was clearly biased in favour of the Conservatives in the following ways:
- The Government's response (protecting/increasing budgets) was reported, whereas the Opposition's proposal (10,000 more police) was not;
- Real-terms freezes were portrayed as increases, and planned multi-million pound cuts to the anti-terror budget were ignored;
- Jeremy Corbyn's opposition to anti-terror legislation was mentioned, but Theresa May's opposition to the same legislation was not;
- Jeremy Corbyn's opposition to "shoot to kill" presented "shoot to kill" as police policy, which it is not and never has been, ignoring that he supports the right of police to use reasonable force (as they did on Saturday) - this pervades much of the BBCs reporting this week and defies a BBC Trust ruling in January on the same issue, and I have also complained about this issue separately in its own right, but it is an important issue and this is an egregious example;
- Jeremy Corbyn's supposed association with terrorist groups was mentioned, but Theresa May's known sale of weapons to states that directly fund Daesh was not;
- Jeremy Corbyn's picture was photoshopped next to Osama Bin Ladin.

The segment quite clearly cherry picks facts that best support Theresa May's position whilst deliberately misleading the public with regard to that of Jeremy Corbyn. Mere days before a general election, this is quite clearly unacceptable and I am having serious thoughts about discontinuing my support for the BBC through my license fee.

I'm sure some of you guys can put this better but the bare bones are there.

e: Please don't just copy/paste though so we're not just ignored, as someone pointed out

Borrovan fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Jun 6, 2017

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:41

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

https://twitter.com/thetimes/status/872024267008946176

I'm not sure if I'll find a funnier headline this election

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:41

ShredsYouSay: Sep 22, 2011; How's his widow holding up?

So looks like bojo is angling for the Maybots job.

Can't wait to see pm bojo deal with a housing crash, healthcare crisis and war on the Arabian peninsula.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:42

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Halisnacks posted:

Who's going to replace Tim Farron and Paul Nuttall?

I don't think UKIP are going to lose any seats in this election, to be honest.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:45

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

forkboy84 posted:

https://twitter.com/thetimes/status/872024267008946176

I'm not sure if I'll find a funnier headline this election

I mean, traditionally you steady a ship by attaching a large weight below the hull.

So I figure tying Michael Gove to a large strut below the rest of the tory party might help?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:47

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872071797973430272

Sad Nic in Snow

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:48

Killed By Death: Jun 29, 2013

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

If this is correct and the Conservatives only gain 25 seats, May's gone by the end of the year, right?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:51

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Junior G-man posted:

Yeah, but something like 70% of UK ag trade goes to the EU; you can't simply replace your crops to with GM alternatives and ship it to the US, which has a huge internal market all of its own, and the shipping and transport would make UK GM too expensive to compete.

The UK ag sector will remain closely linked to the EU's food systems, so realistically speaking there can/will be no major regulatory changes regarding GM or pesticides etc; if it's banned in the EU, UK farmers won't be allowed to use those tools to produce food - it would just be stopped at customs. The joke is on the UK ag sector; they'll have to live with the EU's food regulations anyway, but will now need to do so without its compensating subsidies.

I meant a deal where the US sells food to us, and we allow imports of GM foods etc; not so much the other way around. I quite agree our own farmers are hosed by this.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:52

mediadave: Sep 8, 2011

Borrovan posted:

It was a while back we were talking about this, but here's the 2 complaints I've made to the BBC so far today - I figure if enough people complain we've got a chance of getting some kind of response tomorrow, and pasting these here might save people some time. Does anyone know when the DP show was that had the "how awesome is Theresa May on a scale from totally to absolutely" poll was, so I can bother them about that one and all?

The next one relates to yesterday's Daily Politics, 7 minutes into the program (the complaint form asks you for that):

I'm sure some of you guys can put this better but the bare bones are there.

Those are great - though if other people are complaining, don't just copy those as then they may be automatically dismissed.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:52

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Killed By Death posted:

If this is correct and the Conservatives only gain 25 seats, May's gone by the end of the year, right?

Nah her reputation is already trash, they'll let her handle the Brexit gently caress up as well before getting rid of her.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:53

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

Killed By Death posted:

If this is correct and the Conservatives only gain 25 seats, May's gone by the end of the year, right?

What's the excitement about the thought of May going? She's an untalented, unremarkable politician who was in the right place at the right time. She's no thatcher.

What difference or improvement would there be if she is replaced?

I hope she stays - labour might have a chance of beating her in 2022.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:55

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

The tories have an ample supply of untalented unremarkable politicians, many of whom don't have the distinction of technically winning an election despite their best efforts.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:56

oxford_town: Aug 6, 2009

Why didn't Johnson run for leader last time? I recall him looking like the heir appointed at one stage.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:57

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

oxford_town posted:

Why didn't Johnson run for leader last time? I recall him looking like the heir appointed at one stage.

He got hosed over by Gove but tbh I didn't understand what happened or why it stopped him trying to be PM.

Also: hair apparent

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:58

JOHNSON COCKSLAP: Apr 2, 2017; by Lowtax

I hope she gets dementia before she announces a cap on dementia bills and loses all her money.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:58

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

oxford_town posted:

Why didn't Johnson run for leader last time? I recall him looking like the heir appointed at one stage.

Gove stabbed him in the back but then tripped and fell on his own blade seconds later.

Gove, Gove would definitely succeed May.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:58

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

grist for the rumour mill:

quote:

Relations between Diane Abbott and other senior Corbyn allies have faltered after a furious row about her behaviour in the election.

Tensions came to a head last weekend when Jeremy Corbyn�s office discovered that she was to appear on BBC One�s Andrew Marr Show last Sunday.

The shadow home secretary is thought to have made arrangements directly with the programme�s producer to appear without the consent of the campaign.

Ms Abbott�s previous media appearances have caused difficulty with Labour candidates. They have reported back to the party�s central command that her �brain fade� moment � when she said that her police recruitment policy would cost �300,000 rather than �300 million on LBC � has come up regularly on the doorstep. The interview was also exploited by the Tories.

Labour sources said John McDonnell, the shadow chancellor, and Karie Murphy, Mr Corbyn�s chief of staff, both phoned Ms Abbott to persuade her to pull out of the show but when they failed, the Labour leader phoned her himself, to no avail.

A source said: �John McDonnell was furious at the prospect of Diane going on again. In the end they got Jeremy to phone her himself � but she � went ahead and did the interview, which was predictably awful.�

I could actually see her going now that Corbyn has more people to replace her with

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:59

Halisnacks: Jul 18, 2009

If we were actually thinking of the national interest (and not with some sort of "accelerationism" angle), and five more years or Tory rule were happening one way or another, wouldn't it be preferable to have May continue on with Brexit negotiations, etc., rather than any other plausible Tory challengers? Does a Conservative-led UK really need a Tory leadership contest after the GE?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:00

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Halisnacks posted:

If we were actually thinking of the national interest (and not with some sort of "accelerationism" angle), and five more years or Tory rule were happening one way or another, wouldn't it be preferable to have May continue on with Brexit negotiations, etc., rather than any other plausible Tory challengers? Does a Conservative-led UK really need a Tory leadership contest after the GE?

A change in leadership might allow for a credible change in brexit policy, to something possibly slightly less insane.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:04

ultrabindu: Jan 28, 2009

ronya posted:

grist for the rumour mill:

I could actually see her going now that Corbyn has more people to replace her with

lol

It's time for Jess Phillips to once again piss all over Diane Abbott.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:04

JOHNSON COCKSLAP: Apr 2, 2017; by Lowtax

Halisnacks posted:

If we were actually thinking of the national interest (and not with some sort of "accelerationism" angle), and five more years or Tory rule were happening one way or another, wouldn't it be preferable to have May continue on with Brexit negotiations, etc., rather than any other plausible Tory challengers? Does a Conservative-led UK really need a Tory leadership contest after the GE?

There is not a single tory that will deliver a brexit better than not sending anyone. So we should hope that the party fucks up massively.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:04

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Halisnacks posted:

Who's going to replace Tim Farron and Paul Nuttall?

They'll swap over.

Tim will grow a pube beard and a flat cap and put on his best working class Preston accent to complain about the Sharias and find a new home that won't taunt him about the gay frog chemicals any more. Paul will go all middle class hipster with his big specs and discover that the true meaning of British values is Paine, Mill, and radical centrist liberalism.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:04

Spuckuk: Aug 11, 2009; Being a bastard works

oxford_town posted:

Why didn't Johnson run for leader last time? I recall him looking like the heir appointed at one stage.

He was running, then bottled it when he realised it was something resembling hard work.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:04

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

ronya posted:

grist for the rumour mill:

I could actually see her going now that Corbyn has more people to replace her with

Make Diane Abbott Chief Whip, a role where she never has to talk to the press again

(I realise this is not a good idea and she'd be bad at that role, I'm joking)

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:05

oxford_town: Aug 6, 2009

Pissflaps posted:

He got hosed over by Gove but tbh I didn't understand what happened or why it stopped him trying to be PM.

Also: hair apparent

Oh yeah. Heir apparent.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:06

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Hair Aberrant might be more Bojo's street.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:07

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Killed By Death posted:

If this is correct and the Conservatives only gain 25 seats, May's gone by the end of the year, right?

do you think the next pm will call another election

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:08

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

Is this not based on an average of the polls? If so it won't be reflective if the actual result because the divergence in polling figures suggests that one or more of them deeply flawed methodologies. In short I reckon the result will be either significantly better or way worse. Time to toss that coin!

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:08

CoolCab: Apr 17, 2005; glem

the leadership could never go to anyone who was staunchly Remain or Leave, too much blood left in the water after that campaign. may cinched it by hedging her bets and not picking a side before the vote, which lead to the farce of party leader and prime minister with no competency at campaigning.

this has proven problematic. she'll never face a GE again, I'd wager

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:10

Cefte: Sep 18, 2004; tranquil consciousness

oxford_town posted:

Why didn't Johnson run for leader last time? I recall him looking like the heir appointed at one stage.

He was in a strong position immediately after the referendum, and blew it between Friday and Monday by not putting in the legwork with the '22 and his potential Parliamentary power base. Instead he stayed home and celebrated, and the field opened. Then Gove put the knife in him the morning of the day he was going to formally announce, but it was already too late. He always had an air of being unserious, but loving about for those three days confirmed it.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:11

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Good to see you're still kicking around Cefte

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:15

deletebeepbeepbeep: Nov 12, 2008

Just read on our local news that Thornberry will be holding a rally in Brighton tonight, Corbyn is in Birmingham with Steve Coogan, John McDonnell is in Croydon with Ben Elton and Wolf Alice.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:17

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

Remember that Abbott initially had a total nothing job in Corbyn's cabinet, and slowly fell upwards thanks to all the resignations. If a good GE performance gets more of the PLP back on-side, I can see a reshuffle in the works.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:23

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

CoolCab posted:

may cinched it by hedging her bets and not picking a side before the vote

Uh?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:25

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:58

Necrothatcher: Mar 26, 2005

Been trying to convince a relative to vote Corbyn on Facebook and thought I was getting somewhere. Then I got this:

quote:

"A population is easier to manage when it is divided. Labour and Tory should unite for the common good then the public would be harder to manipulate as the press wouldn't be biased anymore. By having people argue between one another and take sides between them leaves no room for progressive conversations and listening."

I... uh.. whuh..?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 14:27

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