UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

«‹›695 »

What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

up yours, JK Rowling

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 16:50

the panacea: May 10, 2008

Haha Barwell is out

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

jBrereton posted:

He is scum and like rees mogg deliberately underplays his nasty side.

I've no doubt he's a oval office but I still think he's an actual idiot as well.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

Cactus: Jun 24, 2006

NikkolasKing posted:

If it's ignorant American Question Time.
https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/873009051294195712

I've been seeing people poo poo on Boris Johnson forever. I have no doubt he's vile, but is he worse than May?

He's a poor man's Trump wannabe.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

Au Revoir Shosanna: Feb 17, 2011; i support this government and/or service

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

lol smart is extremely loving relative here

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Ora Tzo posted:

So where is pissflaps?

On the far right, apparently.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

Namtab: Feb 22, 2010

Bojo is half American and as boorish as a double american

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

qhat: Jul 6, 2015

apart from his ridiculous hair, boris doesn't really have any similarities with trump.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:08

Gorn Myson: Aug 8, 2007

Ora Tzo posted:

So where is pissflaps?

Bed? Look at the time man.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Cactus posted:

He's a poor man's Trump wannabe.

I'm certain Trump got the idea to run for election when he saw how BOZZER LEGERND was doing.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

Gort: Aug 18, 2003; Good day what ho cup of tea

And this is where the tories overtake.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

CestMoi: Sep 16, 2011

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

people always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

the panacea: May 10, 2008

qhat posted:

apart from his ridiculous hair, boris doesn't really have any similarities with trump.

Both are cunts who hate the poor?

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

thehappyprince: Apr 4, 2006; Alastair Cock

qhat posted:

apart from his ridiculous hair, boris doesn't really have any similarities with trump.

both fat racists

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

Dabir: Nov 10, 2012

Teddybear posted:

In the past week, her father died, she stood in for the coward Theresa May at a debate and got smacked around, and now she's been unceremoniously dumped from not only her role as Home Secretary but Parliament itself. This is the worst week in her life to date, bar none.

She was also called out for shutting down that guy at the debate but comparatively that barely registers.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Lol if you didn't go to bed early and just wake up. Gonna be a good day at work, I think I'm gonna buy a cake for everyone.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:09

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Gum posted:

Pretty much, except for the smart part

smart relatively to trump, that is. Like, a mouse is smarter than an egg.

Au Revoir Shosanna posted:

lol smart is extremely loving relative here

right

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

ElNarez: Nov 4, 2009

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

It's that thing where english accents sound smarter than american accents. That and Johnson is focused on being an idiot on one topic at a time, where Trump is an improvisational idiot whose focus shifts at a moment's notice.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

NikkolasKing posted:

If it's ignorant American Question Time.
https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/873009051294195712

I've been seeing people poo poo on Boris Johnson forever. I have no doubt he's vile, but is he worse than May?

He's a vicious evil oval office who gets away with it because he's treated as a clown.

If he was PM the joke would wear thin very quickly.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

Dr Snofeld: Apr 30, 2009

I tried to go to bed an hour ago but I'm buzzing with a mixture of hope, disbelief and jam.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

NewMars: Mar 10, 2013

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

smart relatively to trump, that is. Like, a mouse is smarter than an egg.

Not a Good Egg, though.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

Pershing: Feb 21, 2010; John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

TheRat posted:

Kill the poor. Brexit hard. Flay Gerry Adams.

Murder, ruin and torture...a solid platform.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

qhat: Jul 6, 2015

thehappyprince posted:

both fat racists

i don't think being a racist is something boris is renowned for

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:10

ModernMajorGeneral: Jun 25, 2010

So is PM Boris Johnson the monkey's paw bargain of tories being crushed?

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Spuckuk: Aug 11, 2009; Being a bastard works

NikkolasKing posted:

If it's ignorant American Question Time.
https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/873009051294195712

I've been seeing people poo poo on Boris Johnson forever. I have no doubt he's vile, but is he worse than May?

Yes

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Namtab: Feb 22, 2010

OwlFancier posted:

Lol if you didn't go to bed early and just wake up. Gonna be a good day at work, I think I'm gonna buy a cake for everyone.

I wouldn't. The rurals are declaring

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Josh Lyman: May 24, 2009

It's only 11pm here but I feel like I've been up all night.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Ora Tzo posted:

So where is pissflaps?

He got drunk I think he might have gone to bed.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Apraxin: Feb 22, 2006; General-Admiral

For all her faults, I don't believe May ever promised to help her lunatic old schoolfriend track down an investigative journalist who was closing in on the schoolfriend's criminal enterprises and have them physically assaulted, but only in a way that couldn't be traced back to her:

quote:

The tape is also fascinating for what it says about Guppy, who has now vanished from the public eye. Of the many things written about him, few are as damning as the words he uses to describe himself. "Boris, can I tell you something," he is heard saying. "My honest opinion about myself is that I am a potential psychopath. The reason I am not a psychopath is because I have..."

"A mother?" Johnson is heard interjecting. "No, I have discipline over my feelings and it's as simple as that," he replied. "But I am telling you something, Boris, this guy has got my blood up all right, and there is nothing which I won't do to get my revenge. It's as simple as that."

Guppy says he needs Mr Johnson to help trace Mr Collier's address because he has been unsuccessful in his attempts to do so and one of the London heavies who was to inflict the beating was becoming impatient. "I have just had a telephone call from this bloke, okay," he told Mr Johnson. "And I swear to you it is now getting to the stage where I am beginning to look stupid because I have been promising them for the past three weeks, and I cannot afford to look stupid."

Mr Johnson tried to reassure him: "These people are there to do your bidding. Just tell them it happens. You know � the trail is too warm, something like that."

Minutes later, Mr Johnson revealed that his anxiety that the man from the News of the World might find out that he was involved. "He is extremely dangerous, extremely dangerous," he is heard saying. "If you gently caress up in any way, I mean frankly if he suspects that I am involved in this ... forget about me. Honestly, Darius, you have really got to think whether it's worth your while."

Mr Johnson then revealed that he had approached four people to try to get Mr Collier's details, only two of whom he could fully trust. "If it got widely known that he'd been beaten up, it would inevitably get back to the contact I've used," he said.

To reassure him, Guppy said: "Okay, right, may I just tell you what my plan is. My plan is this, that even once you give it to me I will leave it for one month before I do anything. It will happen in one or two months' time. All right?"

"You promise me that?" Mr Johnson is heard to reply.

Later in the conversation, Guppy repeated: "The deal is basically you furnish me the information, and I will put it on ice for one month." Mr Johnson then anxiously inquires: "How badly are you going to hurt this guy?"

Guppy answers: "Not badly at all."

The conversation goes on. Mr Johnson: "If this guy is seriously hurt, I am going to be loving furious." Guppy: "I guarantee you he will not be seriously hurt."

Mr Johnson: "How badly hurt will he be?" Guppy: "He will not have a broken limb or a broken arm and he will not, er, he will not be put into intensive care or anything like that. He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a, and a cracked rib or something like that."

Mr Johnson: "A cracked rib."

Guppy: "Nothing which you didn't suffer in rugby okay but he will get scared and that is what I want him to do, I want him to get scared, I want him to have no idea who is behind it okay, and I want him to realise that he's hosed someone off and whoever he's hosed off is not the sort of person he wants to mess around with.

"Because I guarantee you Boris, I guarantee you these people are, you know, if someone hurts their boss or threatens their boss I promise you it's just total sort of, it's like they're like dogs, they are like Alsatians or rottweilers, they love their masters, they are affectionate towards them, they are evil bastards to everyone else."

Mr Johnson: "Yeah, yeah, good. Okay Darry now, yeah, I mean I but." Guppy: "You must have faith in me Boris."

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

thehappyprince: Apr 4, 2006; Alastair Cock

qhat posted:

i don't think being a racist is something boris is renowned for

it would be if we had a decent press

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

qhat posted:

i don't think being a racist is something boris is renowned for

Uh.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Shammypants: May 25, 2004; Let me tell you about true luxury.

Well Scotland is basically done

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Spuckuk: Aug 11, 2009; Being a bastard works

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

He's a lazier Trump with a bigger vocabulary

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

They're both sharper than they let on.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Namtab posted:

I wouldn't. The rurals are declaring

They're all tories, what's the surprise?

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:11

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

https://twitter.com/Shahid_MoSardar/status/872989588641460225

get hosed you nonce

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:12

Vitamin P: Nov 19, 2013; Truth is game rigging is more difficult than it looks pls stay ded

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm a dumb american but the impression I have is that Boris is a smart Trump.

He's low animal cunning more than smart.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:12

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

qhat posted:

i don't think being a racist is something boris is renowned for

About that

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:12

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

CestMoi posted:

people always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'

Having met him a few times he is actually quite intelligent, but he's certainly not clever, if you see what i mean. I'd say his public persona is about 20% actually him and the rest is an act, one he learned from Bill Deedes as a way of keeping people off their guard.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 16:50

ukle: Nov 28, 2005

Next PM now on the BBC

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:12

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

«‹›695 »