UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

The last time the tories were propped up the DUP was in 1996, could this be an omen of the return of Tony Blair?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 06:52

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# ? May 14, 2024 15:06

NikkolasKing: Apr 3, 2010

Maybe a lot of countries have joke candidates but we never got scenes like this here in the US.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OScnCPzILCc

Top Comment:
"Never been prouder to be British. Standing on stage with the British prime minister - 'lord buckethead', Elmo and a guy in a cowboy hat. All running against her and all with votes to their name. I'd love to know what the outside world thinks"

# ? Jun 10, 2017 06:53

Hoops: Aug 19, 2005; A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

Have we had any data through about youth turnout? Final split was 40% Labour which I don't think I saw any poll that high, so there must have been a very good turnout, just wondering how good.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 06:57

TomViolence: Feb 19, 2013; PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

This is a good watch.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:01

Irony Be My Shield: Jul 29, 2012

Sky News says 66% turnout for 18-24 year olds. Although it wasn't just the turnout, it's the fact that Corbyn had something like a 55 point lead with them.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:08

TomViolence: Feb 19, 2013; PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Young people are the future.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:11

Hoops: Aug 19, 2005; A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

TomViolence posted:

Young people are the future.

Until they buy their own home basically, and then they go Tory.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:13

Irony Be My Shield: Jul 29, 2012

No danger of that happening anymore.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:15

TomViolence: Feb 19, 2013; PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Bollocks to your cynicism.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:15

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

Renaissance Spam posted:

That is the most amazing thing I have ever heard of. I need to see Canada get something similar.

We had the Rhinoceros Party.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:16

Zoran: Aug 19, 2008; I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

Hoops posted:

Until they buy their own home basically, and then they go Tory.

afaik the research suggests that's not really a thing, and most people's political preferences become set basically for life in their first few elections

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:16

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Someone linked to this earlier but it should be posted in full
http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-book-of-jeremy-corbyn

Anthony Lane in the New Yorker posted:

THE BOOK OF JEREMY CORBYN

And it came to pass, in the land of Britain, that the High Priestess went unto the people and said, Behold, I bring ye tidings of great joy. For on the eighth day of the sixth month there shall be a general election.

And the people said, Not another one.

And they waxed wroth against the High Priestess and said, Didst thou not sware, even unto seven times, that thou wouldst not call a snap election?

And the High Priestess said, I know, I know. But Brexit is come upon us, and I must go into battle against the tribes of France, Germany, and sundry other holiday destinations. And I must put on the armor of a strong majority in the people�s house. Therefore go ye out and vote.

And there came from the temple pollsters, who said, Surely this woman will flourish. For her enemy is as grass; she cutteth him down. He is as straw in the wind, and he will blow away. And the trumpet of her triumph shall sound in all the land.

And the High Priestess said, Piece of cake.

And there came from the same country a prophet, whose name was Jeremy. His beard was as the pelt of beasts, and his raiments were not of the finest. And he cried aloud in the wilderness and said, Behold, I bring you hope.

And suddenly there was with him a host of young people. And he said unto them, Ye shall study and grow wise in all things, and I shall not ask ye for gold. And the sick shall be made well, and they also will heal freely. And he promised unto them all manner of goodly things.

And the young people said unto him, How shall these things be rendered, seeing that thou hast no money in thy purse?

And he spake unto them in a voice of sounding brass and said, Soak the rich. And again, Pull down the mighty from their seats.

And the young people went absolutely nuts.

And they hearkened unto the word of Jeremy, and believed. For they said unto themselves, Lo, he bringeth unto us the desire of our hearts. He cometh by bicycle, with a helmet upon his head. And he eateth neither flesh nor fowl, according to the Scriptures. For man cannot live by bread alone, but hummus is quite another matter.

And the High Priestess saw all these things and was sore. And she gathered unto her the chief scribes and the Pharisees and said unto them, What the hell is going on?

And they said unto her, It is a blip, as if it were a rough place upon the road.

But they said unto themselves, When the government was upon her shoulders, this woman was mighty. But now that she has gone abroad unto every corner of the land, she stumbleth. For surely it is written that ruling and campaigning are as oil and water, and there shall be no concord betwixt them.

And the chief scribes wrote upon tablets, saying, Jeremy is false of tongue. He hideth wickedness in his heart. And his sums do not add up.

And nobody paid any attention.

And the elders rose up and said to the young people, If ye choose Jeremy, he will bring distress in your toils and wailing upon your streets. Do ye not remember the nineteen-seventies?

And the young people said, The what?

And the elders spake again, and said to the young people, Beware, for he gave succor in days of yore to the I.R.A.

And the young people said, The what?

And the young people said, Jeremy shall bring peace unto all nations, for he hateth the engines of war that take wing across the heavens. And he showeth respect for all peoples, even unto the transgender community.

And the elders said, The what?

And it came to pass that the heathen of this land came among the people, with fire and sword, and slew many among the faithful. And great was the lamentation.

And the High Priestess waxed exceeding wroth and said to the people, Fear not. For I shall bind your wounds and give ye shelter from the heathen, and shall take up the sword against them.

And there came again pollsters from the temple, who said, Will the people not vote for her in this hour of need?

And nobody paid any attention.

And it came to the vote.

And the elders went up to vote, and the young people. And the young people were as a multitude. And in the hours of darkness there was much counting. And the young people watched by night, and the elders went to bed.

And there came in the morning news that the High Priestess had vanquished the prophet Jeremy. But the triumph of the High Priestess was as the width of a nail. And she was vexed.

And the elders and the chief scribes and the Pharisees spoke among themselves, yea, even in the corners of their houses.

And there was great rejoicing amidst the multitude of the young. And they took strong wine, and did feast among themselves. And there were twelve baskets left over.

And of the pollsters there was no sign.

And the people saw Jeremy and said, Surely this man has won? Doth he not skip in gladness like a young hart upon the hills?

And there was great murmuring among the elders. And they said unto themselves, Weep not. For the High Priestess doth but prepare the way. Cometh there not one who is greater than she?

And they said, Behold, for the hour of the redeemer is upon us. And his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the Prince of Peace. And they cried in one voice, Boris.

And the young people said, Oh, poo poo.

And the people gave tongue, and made supplication unto the Lord, saying, Lord, let our cry come unto thee.

And the Lord thought the whole thing was absolutely hilarious.

And then the people said, Lord, what shall we do regarding Brexit? For henceforth the High Priestess shall be as weak as a newborn lamb. How shall we hope for continued access to the single market?

And the Lord said, The what?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:16

Skinty McEdger: Mar 9, 2008; I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Great quote from a senior Tory source in the mail as to why the Tories failed.

"We didn�t understand how the young want a future for themselves"

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:19

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

We could have voted for Joe Exotic but we went with Trump instead.

https://youtu.be/sc-_7RCFArM

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:20

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

Hoops posted:

Have we had any data through about youth turnout? Final split was 40% Labour which I don't think I saw any poll that high, so there must have been a very good turnout, just wondering how good.

Survation's final poll was 43 CON 40 LAB if I remember correctly.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:22

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Skinty McEdger posted:

Hislop tells a great story about Buckethead when he ran against I think Major. When they were doing the line up for the vote announcement one of the officials came up to him and told him that by law he had to remove his helmet, at which point he replies "I can't. It's my head." The official had absolutely no answer to this and so as the camera's pan across the stage to show Major holding his seat there is Buckethead looming in the background.

i wear no mask

no mask!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:23

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

If we did get some kind of PR, that might actually mean the loonies win seats...

We need PR.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:27

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

Who would be the least bad tory leader option?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:30

Playstation 4: Apr 25, 2014; Unlockable Ben

Pinterest Mom posted:

Well, this was a provincial election in Canada, but probably less of a self-own than Alberta 2015.

Alberta has historically been a very right-wing province and for the last several years the competition had been between a mainstream tory party and a far-right bunch of hicks. There were scandals, a new tory premier came in from outside Parliament, and he managed to convince most of the hicks to join his party.

He called a snap election right after that, and hosed it up so much that the social democratic party, which had 4/87 seats before the election, won a majority. The tories came in third, behind was remained of the hick party. This was the first provincial election the tories had lost since 1967.

I am so glad to have suspected this possibility back in April, and it's wonderful.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:30

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

Hoops posted:

Until they buy their own home basically, and then they go Tory.

I bought my own home and I haven't turned tory.... yet 😈

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:30

Zoran: Aug 19, 2008; I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

It really ought to be a national project to get Lord Buckethead the win against the next Tory PM

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:31

TomViolence: Feb 19, 2013; PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Jippa posted:

Who would be the least bad tory leader option?

No such thing exists, they are all uniquely terrible in their own ways.

edit: spelign

TomViolence fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Jun 10, 2017

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:33

NikkolasKing: Apr 3, 2010

This was posted forever ago now but someone asked for how to respond to pro-austerity people who are against government spending and liken it to a credit card.

Someone responded with a video of a lady trying to start up a business but because she had to keep making cuts, it all fell apart. It was short and brilliant and I should have Favorited it or at least remembered the name but I don't. Does anyone have the link?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:37

Kokoro Wish: Jul 23, 2007; Post? What post? Oh wow.
I had nothing to do with THAT.

Just to put a different spin on the UK getting back into the EU and a possible Corbyn government.

I've been hearing talk about leaving the EU actually being a good thing as far as leftist, socialist politics in regards to a Corbyn government. Especially given what happened with Greece and the crushing of their movement, and moves to suppress both the Spanish and Portuguese leftist movements. The EU as it stands is a very neo-liberal institution, and I would have some severe doubts as to their accepting some o the moves a Corbyn led government might make.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:42

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

Kokoro Wish posted:

Just to put a different spin on the UK getting back into the EU and a possible Corbyn government.

I've been hearing talk about leaving the EU actually being a good thing as far as leftist, socialist politics in regards to a Corbyn government. Especially given what happened with Greece and the crushing of their movement, and moves to suppress both the Spanish and Portuguese leftist movements. The EU as it stands is a very neo-liberal institution, and I would have some severe doubts as to their accepting some o the moves a Corbyn led government might make.

dependence on youth turnout tho

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:46

mila kunis: Jun 10, 2011

Sarah Bellum posted:

A young Alliance member and friend of mine posted this delicious rant:

quote:

Where were all you English people when the DUP were vetoing marriage equality and keeping free, safe, legal abortion access banned and denying climate change and insulting Muslims and being apologists for xenophobia and cutting Irish language bursaries and secretly funnelling money from Saudi Arabia to buy Brexit ads in London papers

What in the world did saudi arabia have to do with brexit?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:58

upsidedown: Dec 30, 2008

axeil posted:

How is Lord Buckethead not an MP? That was glorious.

Can one be both an MP and a Lord simultaneously?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:13

atelier morgan: Mar 11, 2003; super-scientific, ultra-gay; Lipstick Apathy

upsidedown posted:

Can one be both an MP and a Lord simultaneously?

First name Lord, last name Buckethead

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:17

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

upsidedown posted:

Can one be both an MP and a Lord simultaneously?

Nope, but he can just claim its his first name. It's not anymore ridiculous than the "that's my head" story.

e:fb

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:17

WhiskeyWhiskers: Oct 14, 2013; "هذا ليس عادلاً."
"هذا ليس عادلاً على الإطلاق."
"كان هناك وقت الآن."
(السياق الخفي: للقراءة)

That's not illegal in the UK? It is in Australia, not allowed any honorifics as your first name.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:20

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Doesn't normally stop the loonies.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:20

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Lord Buckethead only abides by terrestrial law when it suits him.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:22

DeadButDelicious: Oct 11, 2012; Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!

Catching up on Question Time from last night, great watching Chris Grayling twist in knots courtesy of Iannucci/Campbell/chakrabarti. Isabel Oakeshott was very little but rude and snide, very distasteful.

E: That pop from the audience when Kensington was called

DeadButDelicious fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Jun 10, 2017

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:24

ukle: Nov 28, 2005

Zoran posted:

afaik the research suggests that's not really a thing, and most people's political preferences become set basically for life in their first few elections

Also in this election initial data the age split is somewhere around 50, where anyone below that age is more likely to vote Labour and anyone above more likely to vote Conservative. What this means is that the Tory vote is going to ever decrease.

If this demographic split continues to repeat expect the Tories to try and push through a form of PR, as they will be doomed within a decade otherwise.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:24

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

ukle posted:

Also in this election initial data the age split is somewhere around 50, where anyone below that age is more likely to vote Labour and anyone above more likely to vote Conservative. What this means is that the Tory vote is going to ever decrease.

If this demographic split continues to repeat expect the Tories to try and push through a form of PR, as they will be doomed within a decade otherwise.

The thing is that you can't assume that the line of party support will move as people age, there will be at least some who change their mind as they get older. Don't take.that for granted basically.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:29

atelier morgan: Mar 11, 2003; super-scientific, ultra-gay; Lipstick Apathy

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

That's not illegal in the UK? It is in Australia, not allowed any honorifics as your first name.

Alternatively the constitutional bar on lords in the commons is concerned with british lordships and lord buckethead's lordship granted by the extraterrestrial superkingdom probably doesn't cause a problem

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:29

MrBadidea: Apr 1, 2009

Hoops posted:

Until they buy their own home basically, and then they go Tory.

Hahaha, good joke!! Actually having the money to buy a house, haha!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:31

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

namesake posted:

The thing is that you can't assume that the line of party support will move as people age, there will be at least some who change their mind as they get older. Don't take.that for granted basically.

This isn't the first generation to have a partisan lean. The line of party support moves as people age

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:33

upsidedown: Dec 30, 2008

UberJew posted:

Alternatively the constitutional bar on lords in the commons is concerned with british lordships and lord buckethead's lordship granted by the extraterrestrial superkingdom probably doesn't cause a problem

I had hoped an extraterrestrial superkingdom would be advanced enough to have an elected upper house.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:33

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# ? May 14, 2024 15:06

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Rubby posted:

Can't have gang tags without a gang tag. Considering the flailing hategoblin is the reason my wife can never move back home, stranding us in the US, I figured I'd do my part:

This is great, but ideally we'd have an ancom background (red/black split diagonally, black on bottom) to truly represent the UKMT.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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