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you'd market it 100% via nostalgia and sex appeal so like the expendables except everyone bar Stallone is a b-b-b-b-babe
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Jun 16, 2017 14:12
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The Dungeons and Dragons movie already came out and is awesome, can't believe how few people here have seen Krull. I mean there are some conflicting stories about how much of it was actually derived from plans for an official Dungeons and Dragons movie, but it is the most Dungeons and Dragons movie ever made.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:16
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Codependent Poster posted:It was so bad that the audience I was watching it with started laughing at everything, which in turn made it a fun, stupid movie. The culmination being when Kate Beckinsale's face appeared in the clouds at the end. Everyone lost it there. Dracula uses Frankenstein to inseminate his eggs, whats not to love?
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Jun 16, 2017 14:23
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:Hardcore, I wanna see this I somehow doubt Colin Trevorrow will give it any punch or the crazy energy that twist requires.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:24
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They could write the Duke Nukem movie from the point of view of some of the lowly assault troopers in the alien invasion, with Duke being an unstoppable one man army who brutally murders everyone like a slasher movie monster.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:25
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The best possible Duke movie would be that bit in Die Hard where McClane appreciates a titty poster stretched into a full length movie.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:52
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well why not posted:Gods of Egypt was way more interesting. If you wanna watch an over-the-top Egypt themed movie, definitely see that instead. It's a PS3 cutscene, but it's the best PS3 cutscene ever made, by far. At least that movie was fun and colourful. This is just lovely and boring. Gods of Egypt is the myth movie I have always wanted.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:57
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I like that Dracula had what were basically Power Rangers minions.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:01
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A Duke Nukem movie would be easy to do just get whatever big dude with presence/some basic training to play the role and have John St. John still voice the character. The plot can revolve around terrorists taking over a plane like Con Air or Executive Decision and, like Con Air, every time they land the entire group just switches planes and flies to another location but instead of having a lot of screen time on the plane just show ridiculously destructive running shootouts as everyone chases each other from one plane to the next with Nukem spouting one liners about everything and having all the cool weapons like the shrink ray/holo-Nukem, etc. to creatively take out more of the group each time. This will take place in the future of 1999 like the older games so the planes will be huge massively armored things so they can fit tons of people running around and survive having gunfights in them and stuff. After he finally kills them all during their criss crossing air-trip through LA, Vegas, NYC, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Cleveland, Nashville, Minneapolis (brief side trip to Chanhassen where he pays respects at Prince's grave), Disney World, and finally Washington DC where Nukem successfully singlehandedy stops the remaining bad guys from destroying the entire White House/etc. After a ten minute montage of happy news broadcasts and footage of people from all over the world happily relieved and in awe of his awesomeness, an official diplomat looking person from the British embassy gives a King Ralph-esque genealogical breakdown of how he's technically the Duke of ____ place. But then the aliens seen in the intro to Duke Nukem 2 arrive and start attacking/abducting the people of earth and it's super gruesome (for comedy they have that device that mutates the cops into pig cops but there's no visual change in their appearance or behavior after it's activated), a panicked reporter rushes up to him and is like "MR. NUKEM! MR. NUKEM! is there anything you can do to help us?!" He looks at all the helpless people, looks at the invading alien hordes, then looks directly at the screen and says "I'm DUKE Nukeeem" and instead of having John St. John voice this it's just a sample from when he said it in a game like twenty years ago, smash cut to the Duke Nukem logo and a "Duke Nukem Will Return in Duke Nukem VS. The ______," roll credits.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:03
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Once you think about it, the Duke Nukem Movie already exists and owns hardcore, it's They Live.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:05
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:What really twists the knife is, last I checked, the original is unplayable on PC due to GFWL going down. it also still kind of rules.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:12
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Anyone saying a Duke Nukem movie couldn't be done (and couldn't be entertaining) are crazy Just make it completely over-the-top with everything and don't have it take itself seriously. Like an 80's action movie version of Black Dynamite, if that makes any sense. I'd watch 85 minutes of that. v  v
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Jun 16, 2017 15:31
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NiceGuy posted:Just make it completely over-the-top with everything and don't have it take itself seriously. Like an 80's action movie version of Black Dynamite, if that makes any sense. I'd watch 85 minutes of that. v Macgruber already exists and it is perfect in every way
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Jun 16, 2017 15:34
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NiceGuy posted:Anyone saying a Duke Nukem movie couldn't be done (and couldn't be entertaining) are crazy Of course it could be done It won't though
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Jun 16, 2017 15:36
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I think the biggest problem with Duke Nukem as a movie is that the last game that anyone played was 1995. It's pretty anachronistic, and well, the only way it could be made is to just make Crank 3 instead.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:42
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Iron Crowned posted:make Crank 3 please
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Jun 16, 2017 15:46
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Iron Crowned posted:I think the biggest problem with Duke Nukem as a movie is that the last game that anyone played was 1995. It's pretty anachronistic There's a Tetris movie trilogy currently in pre-production, as well as Altered Beast, Contra, Asteroids, Centipede and Missile Command. Vidya game anachronisms are in, baby!  http://www.denofgeek.com/us/games/video-game-movies/170757/59-video-game-movies-currently-in-development Edit: I knew I'd forget something really obvious. They're shooting an adaptation of Rampage right now starring The Rock. https://www.instagram.com/p/BU4bZt0lZ1S/?taken-by=therock&hl=en Edit 2: we also god a fuckin' Ratchet and Clank movie earlier this year Snowglobe of Doom fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Jun 16, 2017 |
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Jun 16, 2017 16:03
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Altered Beast, if it comes out, is gonna win some Academy Awards if movies about movies are a atrong indication of poo poo Hollywood Loves.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:09
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:There's a Tetris movie trilogy currently in pre-production, as well as Altered Beast, Contra, Asteroids, Centipede and Missile Command. Vidya game anachronisms are in, baby! Eh, all of those mentioned are ambiguous. Tetris is the worst of the bunch because, how in the hell can you attach a story to falling blocks? I mean, Altered Beast is the one I don't remember the most, so I can't really comment, but the rest could easily be action sci-fi summer popcorn flicks. Duke Nukem is very spelled and the people who would be clamoring for a Duke Nukem movie are going to be looking for the crudeness and sexism that worked in the social climate of the early 90's. I'm not saying it couldn't be made and/or work, it's just going to have to strike a good balance of the source material without isolating people who didn't play or don't care anymore. Again, Crank 3 would be a better investment than Duke Nukem
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Jun 16, 2017 16:17
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Iron Crowned posted:Eh, all of those mentioned are ambiguous. Tetris is the worst of the bunch because, how in the hell can you attach a story to falling blocks? If it's not about the Berlin Wall / Soviet Occupation of Eastern Germany then I'll be very disappointed.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:19
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Iron Crowned posted:Eh, all of those mentioned are ambiguous. Tetris is the worst of the bunch because, how in the hell can you attach a story to falling blocks?
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Jun 16, 2017 16:19
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Iron Crowned posted:Eh, all of those mentioned are ambiguous. Tetris is the worst of the bunch because, how in the hell can you attach a story to falling blocks? What if Crank 3 is the one where you find out he IS Duke Nukem. The entire movie is shot from a side angle perspective like the original platformers.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:22
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FilthyImp posted:Sci-fi comedy romp akin to National Treasure I wouldn't mind another National Treasureish movie
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Jun 16, 2017 16:22
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Al Borland Corp. posted:What if Crank 3 is the one where you find out he IS Duke Nukem. That would be the best timeline
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Jun 16, 2017 16:24
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Iron Crowned posted:Duke Nukem is very spelled and the people who would be clamoring for a Duke Nukem movie are going to be looking for the crudeness and sexism that worked in the social climate of the early 90's. I'm not saying it couldn't be made and/or work, it's just going to have to strike a good balance of the source material without isolating people who didn't play or don't care anymore. I was going to add "If they did make a film that was faithful to the tone of the original that'd alienate pretty much everyone else in the world" but then I realised it'd probably track pretty well in Trump's America.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:29
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Iron Crowned posted:I wouldn't mind another National Treasureish movie Why did they stop making those? They were great! Nicholas Case was great in them and still needs money! They were well received by critics and audience alike!
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Jun 16, 2017 16:29
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Here is your academy award Altered Beast script: the protagonist, a washed up film star (hink rdj pre iron man) gets brought onto an unknown action film project about greece. As we watch the film his struggles are paralled on delay by the parts of the film theyre shooting (so film opens with him getting pulled back from obscurity, first film sequence is "Rise from your grave") until half way when film events begin predicting life events as he becomes more positive on his outlook. Ill take a best supporting actor and costume
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Jun 16, 2017 16:30
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I was going to add "If they did make a film that was faithful to the tone of the original that'd alienate pretty much everyone else in the world" but then I realised it'd probably track pretty well in Trump's America. Honestly, using a Duke Nukem movie to highlight the true horror of Trump's America would be amazing. Just brutal violence that leaves a bad taste in the mouth of any viewer with a semblance of morality as Duke spouts one-liners.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:36
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Watch ash vs the evil dead if you want to know what a modern Duke nukem should be like.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:41
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Why did they stop making those? They were great! Nicholas Case was great in them and still needs money! They were well received by critics and audience alike! There were no more treasures for him to find.  No really, the second film did even better business than the first and everyone involved was really keen to make another sequel (to the point where Disney actually registered some domain names for more sequels) but they struggled for several years to write a new script. Nic Cage was asked about it last year during an interview and he said they were still wrestling with it even though they'd apparently been working on it for 9 years. Snowglobe of Doom fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Jun 16, 2017 |
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Jun 16, 2017 16:43
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Hemingway To Go! posted:Watch ash vs the evil dead if you want to know what a modern Duke nukem should be like. Or just watch Army of Darkness instead of Duke Nukem: The Movie
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Jun 16, 2017 16:46
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I feel even more than the anti-PC ness of Duke, it's moreso that Duke represents this image of Anerican heroism that could only exist in the late 80s early 90s Pax Americana era where America won the cold war and seemed both righteous and unstoppable. Duke in the chaos and quagmire of 2017 would seem awfully out of touch. The original Expendables got around this by making it a central theme that all those 80s action stars are completely irrelevant. You couldn't have that same level of awareness with Duke. That's just not his character. Unless you make it like bare faced satire where Duke thinks he's constantly winning while the world is collapsing around him.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:48
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FilthyImp posted:Sci-fi comedy romp akin to National Treasure They go from hidden tomb to hidden tomb placing the Tetris piece they found in the last location into the appropriately shaped hole in the next location to make the wall disappear and find the next piece.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:49
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The Tetris movie should just be an 85 minute adaptation of this.
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Jun 16, 2017 16:57
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Hemingway To Go! posted:Watch ash vs the evil dead if you want to know what a modern Duke nukem should be like. Yes. This is actually a better example than Black Dynamite. Just wall-to-wall jackassery and false bravado for the whole film, have Duke wind up face first in an alien's rear end in a top hat at some point, everyone's happy!
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Jun 16, 2017 17:03
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:There were no more treasures for him to find. Jeez I don't think it's too difficult. They just did El Dorado in Mount Rushmore. Now do one where he discovered Atlantis is actually under Niagara Falls, or something, discovered by Alexander Hamilton and encoded in the Federalist papers. Houdini originally decoded it which is why he went over the falls. Cage gets an important lead in the annual seance with Houdini that gets held every year in an ambiguous way where maybe it was supernatural or maybe coincidence. Antagonist is a descendent of Burr but in the end it turns out he's actually an alright guy and sacrifices his life to save Nicholas Cage's family. That too me five loving minutes. You're welcome Hollywood.
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Jun 16, 2017 17:04
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Captain_Person posted:The Tetris movie should just be an 85 minute adaptation of this. It won't be nearly as good as that. It's being produced by Larry Kasanoff who also produced, co-wrote, directed and co-voiced the worst animated movie ever made, the legendary Food Fight.
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Jun 16, 2017 17:10
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Jeez I don't think it's too difficult. They just did El Dorado in Mount Rushmore. Now do one where he discovered Atlantis is actually under Niagara Falls, or something, discovered by Alexander Hamilton and encoded in the Federalist papers. Houdini originally decoded it which is why he went over the falls. Cage gets an important lead in the annual seance with Houdini that gets held every year in an ambiguous way where maybe it was supernatural or maybe coincidence. Antagonist is a descendent of Burr but in the end it turns out he's actually an alright guy and sacrifices his life to save Nicholas Cage's family. Okay, but Lin-Manuel Miranda has to play the ghost of Alexander Hamilton.
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Jun 16, 2017 17:17
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No ghosts are allowed as this is all plausible, realistic adventure movie. He can be in flashbacks, however, that's completely acceptable.
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Jun 16, 2017 17:22
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a hologram stored on crystals activated by
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Jun 16, 2017 17:24
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