/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Haifisch posted:

My (25F) BF (23M) can't read or spell. I'm tired of reading everything for him and concerned about his future

Yeah, the guy certainly has a severe level of dyslexia and didn't get help with it during his development years.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 00:55

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 19:47

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Haifisch posted:

• When he ate the last of the curly fries I asked him to write it on the board. He wrote "Kurly frise" with the F written backwards.�

• I know he writes his Fs and Gs backwards and he won't believe me when I try to tell him how unprofessional it looks.�

Lol

# ? Jun 18, 2017 00:59

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

ZearothK posted:

Yeah, the guy certainly has a severe level of dyslexia and didn't get help with it during his development years.

Depending on the state and county, dyslexia is not a qualifier for special education/in-class aide. Even severe cases. It's loving ridiculous.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 00:59

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

The bigger mystery in that story is how dude has a girlfriend if his untreated dyslexia is that catastrophically bad as an adult. Maybe he fucks real good?

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:01

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I've met people who were perfectly normal acting that were illiterate and I never would have known if they didn't ask me to help them fill out a form

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:02

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

even me, a retarded grown man, can find solace in these here forums amongst my kind. don't need to write or read good even, just remember that stairs in my house and horses thinking of things are funny. make friends, happy now.

My [29 F] parents [50sM/F] are full on ghosting me?

quote:

u/anunfavorite
So I've always been the least favourite child in my family. I was a below-to-average child and my sister was a goddam genius. Guess who was the pride of the family, woo-hoo!

But while I still felt that while there was blatant favouritism with my sister, I still enjoyed a semi-normal relationship with my parents. When I moved out, the transition was smooth and I never went back or asked for money.

We enjoyed semi-regular contact because we live in the same city and what have you. I thought we got along.

Then suddenly about 26ish days ago, they stopped answering my calls. I tried email, phones, mobiles, facebook, everything. They flat out ignore me, but I see my mother's constant activity and interactions with my sister and other extended members of my family.

I've tried asking uncles and aunts, and they just shrug and say 'ask them'. I called my sister, who asked my parents, and according to her they said that they're 'just busy'.

My sister found it weird that I didn't turn up to my aunt's large birthday party, and asked me why I wasn't there. It's because I wasn't invited and had no idea a party would be going on.

I went to their house, and while their car was in the driveway, their doors were locked and I couldn't see through the windows.

I'm honestly just thinking of giving up, but I keep wondering why they're doing this. There was no fight or reason that I could think of. I don't want to ask my sister to contact them for me again because I don't want her stressing out over this.

tl;dr: Parents (and possibly some members of my extended family) are ghosting me and excluding me from events. Is this normal? How do I deal with this?

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:20

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Me [25F] with my SIL [28F] of five years, and a weird situation

quote:

Ok, please understand I know this is all a bit weird. The family I married into three years ago are nudists. My husband's (25) parents (52M/49F) for lack of better phrasing are all tits and dicks now that they retired but they did so when they could before. The older brother (29), and the younger sister (23) don't do it now.

Anyways, Fil and Mil wanted to go on a nudist retreat following the birth of their first grandchild (eldest brother and his wife). Everyone seemed up to it, but Sil could not make it. He, the grandchild, was about three months when we were able to finally organize things. So second day into what was supposed to be a week I was holding grandchild and he tried to latch to my nipple.

I said "oh he is hungry" and passed him to mom.

She is now not allowing just me but also MIL and the SIL (SIL was not even there and has never got to see the baby).

Can I do anything to fix this?

tl;dr: Baby wanted to feed, family hurt because of me

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:23

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

The bigger mystery in that story is how dude has a girlfriend if his untreated dyslexia is that catastrophically bad as an adult. Maybe he fucks real good?

Chaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:24

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Me [25F] with my SIL [28F] of five years, and a weird situation

I feel like this is missing a paragraph or something

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:26

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Yea I don't understand wtf is going on there

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:27

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

it's still on the front page, Im refreshing hoping for comments or clarification

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:31

OctaMurk: Jun 21, 2013

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

it's still on the front page, Im refreshing hoping for comments or clarification

Lmao I think I would be confused even if there were additional paragraphs. I think that the pronouns and antecedents are not agreeing.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:33

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

OP held her sister in laws new baby while naked and it tried to suck on her nipple (which happened while SIL wasn't there) and now SIL doesn't want any of these crazy nude women to hold her baby because GROSS

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:35

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I like how she wrote "he, the grandchild" instead of "the grandchild," or "my nephew."

Also she writes that she handed the kid to "mom" instead of "his mom"

I don't think this person is very smart

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:36

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

OctaMurk posted:

Lmao I think I would be confused even if there were additional paragraphs. I think that the pronouns and antecedents are not agreeing.

She only mentions two women and then says she and mentions those two women so yea I think you're right

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:36

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Mocking Bird posted:

OP held her sister in laws new baby while naked and it tried to suck on her nipple (which happened while SIL wasn't there) and now SIL doesn't want any of these crazy nude women to hold her baby because GROSS

I dunno man

She is now not allowing just me but also MIL and the SIL (SIL was not even there and has never got to see the baby).�

Unless there are two sisters in law

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:38

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

DUI without driving...?

OP posted:

Hello. I am seeking advice on a DUI arrest that occurred in CA recently.

I was arrested for a DUI but I was not behind the wheel, or seen driving. My vehicle rolled from my gate, down an incline, and into a residential fence and yard, and as a result of that witnesses called the police and I was taken into custody. My BAC began at 0.08 and changed several times, ending with 0.26, when they took blood without my permission. I spent ten hours in jail. I also was not read my Miranda rights at any time.

What chance do I have of beating this charge with a jury trial, considering the fact that I was not seen driving or even behind the wheel? Any estimated costs for going to trial? And if there is a hung jury, the odds of them retrying the case? I know that it's pretty hard to offer any real answers to my questions, but this was the best place I could think of to try asking.

Thank you very much.

quote:

How did your car spontaneously take off?

quote:

I live in a gated park and was going to check the water pump on the property. I recently had surgery on my right hand; tendons were broken and my grip isn't what it used to be. The vehicle wasn't put into park correctly.

:XFilesTheme:

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:40

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Blue Train posted:

She only mentions two women and then says she and mentions those two women so yea I think you're right

no, there's her, her mother in law, and two sisters in law. the other sister in law wasn't there

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:40

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

Blue Train posted:

I dunno man

She is now not allowing just me but also MIL and the SIL (SIL was not even there and has never got to see the baby).�

Unless there are two sisters in law

There are two. One is MILs daughter (23, a nudist and sister to OPs husband) and one is married into the family (29 older brothers wife) and presumably wants to protect her baby from these non related nipples

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:41

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

ah ok that makes more sense

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:43

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

0.26 is impressive

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:45

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [20/F] have a hopeless crush on someone [24/M] nearly 5000 miles away; am I being childish? Need advice.

quote:

I 'spose asking anonymous people on the internet's probably not the most reliable source of advice, but this is slightly embarrassing, and I feel a little ashamed to talk to my real-life friends about it.

I wasn't really looking for someone to crush on. I was just bored. I worship Imgur, and so when Socialsavanna launched, a social/meet-up based site inspired by the Imgur community, I hopped on that poo poo real quick. I figured, I like dorky things posted on Imgur, anyone on Socialsavanna likes dorky things posted on Imgur, I'd just find some equally dorky people to chat with to waste some time.

Just a little over a month ago, I messaged this guy first (let's call him Ginge, since he's a ginger) because he had a bitchin' mustache and seemed like a chill dude. And I'm not even going to lie; I want to travel to Europe. Badly. Like, really badly. So I was talking to several people on the site from all over Europe, so I could ask them things and discuss differences in culture and things like that. And Ginge was from England, so why not?

And, we just sort of hit it off, right away. We moved to Facebook chat, and now we Skype almost every day. I live in Seattle, so the time difference between us is seven hours. But if I'm awake and online at midnight, it's a surefire thing that he'll message me. And he'll stay up waaay past his bedtime to talk to me at hours that don't conflict with my classes or work. He was also nice enough to let me tag along with him in Minecraft, even though I'm an absolutely dreadful player. He didn't laugh at my rookie mistakes even once!

Ginge is also way complimentary! Right off the bat he used terms like 'sweety' and 'darling', and signed goodnight messages with xoxo, but I figured that was just how he was (like how some people call everyone 'sugar' or kiss your cheek when they greet you) He then started calling me Beautiful or Cutie or Gorgeous, and I thought he was just trying to be nice to me (I'm kind of overweight, and he knows that, he's seen my Facebook photos after all)

And now he'll casually throw around things like "If I'm ever in your neck of the woods, you've got to show me this 'Pike Place Market' you keep telling me about" or "Come to so-and-so music festival next year, we could meet and geek out over our shared guilty-pleasure band!" (Linkin Park, because I didn't really grow out of my silly angsty 'goffick' stage apparently)

Am I crazy for having fallen for this guy? I constantly tell myself I'm just a dumb kid, I'm only twenty, and it's stupid to even entertain the notion of being with someone who lives so goddamn far away! But we have so much in common, that I'm constantly second and third-guessing myself! I guess I'd just like an opinion from a different point of view. And like I said, it's embarrassing to have a crush on someone I met over the internet, and I feel weird about admitting it to my friends. Should that fact alone tell me I'm only being silly!?

~~

TL;DR - I'm only wondering if it's as silly as I fear to crush on a ginger Brit who seems nearly too good to be true

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:52

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Haifisch posted:

�I worship Imgur, and so when Socialsavanna launched, a social/meet-up based site inspired by the Imgur community, I hopped on that poo poo real quick.

smh so hard I got whiplash

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:56

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Haifisch posted:

I worship Imgur

I hope to never see these words in this order ever again

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:57

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

A year later:
Should I bother?Need Advice (self.LongDistance)

quote:

I (f/20/US) and my boyfriend (m/25/UK) are nevermets of six months. We met on Imgur and I've never been happier. He tolerates my depressive ranting and freakouts, makes me feel beautiful, assures me that I'm loved and makes me laugh constantly. But there is one thing I'm worried about.

It is pretty dangerous for me to have biological children, and so from a very young age I was told it was safer and easier for me to just adopt children. I've grown up with this idea in my head, of adopting from China or India or Ethiopia or Haiti, and I've grown really close with that idea. Even now, with advances in medicine, it is not as dangerous (though still risky) for me to get pregnant, but I still want to adopt. I feel like, if I were to have bio children instead of adopting, I'd be abandoning my children in an orphanage, and I could never live with that guilt. I want to adopt. And that is final.

The problem is, as staunchly against getting pregnant as I am, my boyfriend is just as staunchly against adopting. He's stated that he wouldn't love the child as much, he'd feel as if it were just a 'pet' (sounds terrible, but neither of us is good with words; I know what he meant) and not his kid. He's very attached to the idea of his own bio children.

I know I'm only 20, and this is still very much a new relationship. But I'm really wondering; if I know we're already going to disagree so harshly on children, is it worth it to try and save to visit him? Is it easier to just cut my losses now before I invest more time and money? I really love this man, and I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with him. The final puzzle piece would be to visit him, but should I even bother, knowing neither of us will ever budge?

(And I've heard the 'you can discuss this later with him' argument and honestly it's utter poo poo. Adoption takes lots of time and lots of money; I do not want to waste that time. And I will admit it; the children that I have not even met yet are already more important than my boyfriend)

I think it's over, and I can't calm down (self.LongDistance)

quote:

Seven months of happiness, love, terrific sexy times and support have now come to an end.

I (f/20/USA) woke up Halloween morning to a string of Skype messages from my boyfriend (m/25/UK) The gist of them was:

You(me) are still in school, and I(him) am in my career You want to adopt at least one kid, and I am against that You do not make enough money to visit me, and I do not make enough money to visit you We have no end-date in site

We had a long conversation about it, and he said he thought it would be good for us to not date anymore. He wants to focus on work, and he says I should focus on myself more, and that if we do ever come into money and either of us wants to visit the other, we can if the other isn't seeing anyone else at that time.

He says he still loves me, but not 'the situation', and also asked me 'not to disappear' and to try and continue to be friends with him.

I have not slept since then. Whenever I try to, I have a dream about him, telling me everything will be alright, and he takes it all back, and he doesn't care about the distance. But I'll wake up, cry because none of that happened, and go back to sleep and have the same dream over and over again. I'm exhausted, devastated and at my wits end.

I had to message him today and tell him that if we were really not going to be a couple anymore, I can't contact him at all, because it hurts me too much to see messages from him and know there will be no 'I love you' attached to them. He said it sucked, but he understood.

I can't calm down. I'm so sad I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so helpless, because I am a poor-rear end student and don't know where I could possibly get the money to visit him. I can't do anything about this. He's just gone and I can't do anything.

I just wanted to vent. I thought I might be able to get some advice on how to cope here. How can I get over this devastating helplessness? I feel like it's dragging me under.

I hate him for dragging this out and making me love him like this.

They broke up without seeing each other in person once. :allears:

# ? Jun 18, 2017 01:58

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

who even gives a gently caress about imgur, how even could you, it's just an image hosting site jfc

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:00

Unload My Head: Oct 2, 2013

Haifisch posted:

They broke up without seeing each other in person once.

The system works.

Also, what kind of weirdo would consider adopted kids as "pets". As crazy as she is I think she dodged a bullet on that guy.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:04

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Haifisch posted:

A year later:
Should I bother?Need Advice (self.LongDistance)

I think it's over, and I can't calm down (self.LongDistance)

They broke up without seeing each other in person once.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:05

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

who even gives a gently caress about imgur, how even could you, it's just an image hosting site jfc

There's a whole community that comments on the images hosted there it's fuckin weird

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:06

Unload My Head: Oct 2, 2013

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

who even gives a gently caress about imgur, how even could you, it's just an image hosting site jfc

Nah their comment section is legitimately it's own community. It's not a good community, mind you. Imagine Tumblr and reddit had a lovechild.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:06

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Unload My Head posted:

Nah their comment section is legitimately it's own community. It's not a good community, mind you. Imagine Tumblr and reddit had a lovechild.

i feel it's legitimately wrong that imgur comments and YouTube comments are considered communities tbh, it's a horrifying idea

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

The only two people I've ever known who attended and graduated from Full Sail worked alongside me as Walgreens cashiers like 7 years ago. Lmao.

I bet they could do passable doodles on break.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:13

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

i feel it's legitimately wrong that imgur comments and YouTube comments are considered communities tbh, it's a horrifying idea

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:16

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

fruit on the bottom posted:

Your soul has to go through Vatican City to get to heaven so getting banned from there essentially limits your choices to Hell or Des Moines

Why is life full of such hard choices?

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:17

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

i want to believe

How do I explain to my (48F) daughter (16F) that her father (51M) is in prison for the right reasons? She believes he is innocent, and I know he is not, and I don't know how to tell her that I was involved in what he did as well.

quote:

Ive already done this on legaladvice years ago, so I dont need them. What I need from you guys is how to deal with my daughter.

When I was in my 20s and 30s I basically turned a blind eye to my husbands criminal dealings. He sold drugs, he had guns, he dealt in corrupt real estate, he was into nightclubs, he did a lot of stuff and dealt with horrible people. I dealt with the financial side of things on his part, and I was very much involved as well. I don't know why honestly, I got entangled in the glamour and glitz of the lifestyle.

Then it all came crashing down and he got cornered or something, and I had a 1 year old, and I just cared for me and my sister and my daughters safety, so we snitched. He wasn't in the mob or anything, nobody came after us, I just snitched on him. Not like the rear end in a top hat didn't deserve it. I thought he would maybe come along with me and snitch too, but he didn't, and he got 25 to life for about a dozen charges including 2 charges of attempted murder.

My daughter grew up and she has it in her head that he is innocent. I told her all her life that I had no idea he did any of that stuff until the charges dropped and I was shocked, I told her I was innocent, that he kept it from me completely. And now she thinks its all fake, and that they set him up, and that she has googled stuff about the case and she knows somebody snitched on him and she thinks it was all set up to get him. Some of the conspiracy theories she has said are absolutely ridiculous, she tries to get me along with it and I just tell her that he probably did do it, and then she says I would have had no idea because he hid it from me. I tell her I still saw some weird stuff, and she just somehow has an excuse for everything I say to her.

This all seems so loving dumb on my part but I just have no idea what to tell her. I dont want to tell her I was with him, complicit in everything. She thinks the stuff he was accused of doing was 'too horrible for anyone related to her could do' and every time she goes on about how the charges she keeps making up poo poo that something doesnt add up here or there. I just sigh when it happens.

[The worst part is that when she visit her dad, HE AGREES WITH HER. I have told him about 20 times to not do that, and he just says he loves the idea that she thinks hes innocent.

What do I do? If I tell her she is gonna be disgusted with me and its gonna ruin her little fantasy. And she is gonna know I did all that stuff with him. she may never trust her parents ever again. If I don't tell her... well she might found out another way. There isn't really THAT much on google about the case, I think like one little page I read about.

tl;dr: Daughter thinks dad is innocent, he is not, but the only way to tell her is if I admit that I was complicit as well.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:19

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

ha ha ha, holy poo poo. That's really special.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 02:29

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Naerasa posted:

Boyfriends [25M] immaturity got us expelled from Vatican City. He thinks I [24F] am overreacting and it is no big deal.

For his next vacation he should try North Korea.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 03:55

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Doc Hawkins posted:

For his next vacation he should try North Korea.

sounds like a great way to come home with a bad case of :airquote:

botulism

# ? Jun 18, 2017 03:56

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

i want to believe

How do I explain to my (48F) daughter (16F) that her father (51M) is in prison for the right reasons? She believes he is innocent, and I know he is not, and I don't know how to tell her that I was involved in what he did as well.

This woman needs to sell her story and have one of those Lifetime movies made about it.

# ? Jun 18, 2017 04:23

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 19:47

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Me [25F] with my SIL [28F] of five years, and a weird situation

Every single person involved in this story should never be around children, including the mom. They are all dangerously insane. :psypop:

# ? Jun 18, 2017 05:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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