/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

La Brea Carpet posted:

"Asset management" per the comments. Given the fact that he talked about the math background of one I'm guessing they're moving rich people money around on really fancy spreadsheets.

I'm guessing they look at pictures of forclosed homes and make sure contractors do their job. That's what my girlfriend does and it's called asset management.

edit: page 1337 :cool:

# ? Jun 22, 2017 16:48

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 04:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I unironically hope Hellen bankrupts him single handedly before quitting.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 16:52

Pebergehund: Jan 21, 2010

Reason for termination: didn't manage her assets

# ? Jun 22, 2017 16:56

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Pebergehund posted:

Reason for termination: didn't manage her assets

actually she grew her assets too much, something i didn't think was possible in finance

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:03

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

maskenfreiheit posted:

actually she grew her assets too much, something i didn't think was possible in finance

Unsustainable growth

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:08

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Inflation destroyed her assets

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:13

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Classic pump and dump scheme, but after pumping out the baby she didn't dump all of the weight, so no vacation and no steak knives.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:34

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Guillotine his dick off.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:36

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My gf [23F] is raging after I [27M] said I won't quit my job to travel for a month.

quote:

I have been seeing this girl for about a year. She can be very sweet but im coming to realize she has serious anger issues. She is like a literal Harvey Dent.

She can get so angry that she screams, swears at ME like a sailor on crack and hangs up on me if we argue.

We've been trying to plan a trip to Europe and I'm trying to make things work with my schedule. I'm full-time at a hospital and make good money. She does not work.

For the past 3 months or so she has been pushing for a 2 month trip in August. I can't be gone that long as I would have no job coming back. 3 weeks is the best I can do. But work may not go for it and I might not be able to go as she now wants to go 3 months early.

She called today and I explained this to her and her response was very cruel.

I'm trying to be reasonable but she's just raging at this point. She called me all kinds of names when I said that if work does not let me go then I can't go.

Her response was to call me a "pussy piece of poo poo, you're scared, gently caress you" and other colorful verbally abusive things.

She said "Don't ever loving talk to me again" and she hung up.

After she hung up she sent me this...

Text Message: This is complete *ing BULL. You have literally screwed me over in the worst *ing way possible. This was my dream, my one **ing dream and you have ruined it. You RUINED my one dream. You lied to my *ing face because u can't man up and quit a dumb *ty job that you don't even like. **** your pride. I could probably pay for all of your **** and still u wouldn't go to Europe, with your girlfriend. That's pretty *ing messed up. Every *ing day I have dreamed of going, with u, and you have crushed that. Every day I wished and hoped u would be excited that u would even talk about it. But u don't. Ur own family doesn't even know u "decided" to go. Guess I was the only obvious one. Thanks for ruining my whole day, week, year, life. And that's all on you. I could have found someone else could have planned things different but it's too late now cause u don't have the balls. I have never been so *ing heart broken in my whole *ing life. **** you seriously. You have screwed over my one dream. My one dream is gone. Thank you.

:End Text...

How can I reason with her? What can I do?

My stress is very high amd I don't know what to say to her to get her to calm down.

tl;dr: GF is raging because I'm being responsible, how can I communicate with her about this?

quote:

Date. A. loving. Adult.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:40

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dude, you cant just deny a woman her Kokoro Wish.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:42

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Congrats to that dude on being recently single but I dunno why he had to share all that other information.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:45

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

La Brea Carpet posted:

The Bullshit Knife is best because it offers 3+d6 damage against screeching harpies.

I [35 M] fired my employee [28 F] for a messed up reason and her SO [29 F] is being weird about it

"I fired a pregnant woman because she stopped being hot. Why is her SO being weird about it? I mean, at least the SO is better with her makeup now, and we all know that looks are what matter he-wait where did this lawsuit come from."

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:48

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I like how he seems to be baffled that people think he fired her because her looks when that is all he talked about in his thing.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:53

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [35 M] fired my employee [28 F] for a messed up reason and her SO [29 F] is being weird about it

I really, really hope Hellen and Adell sue the gently caress out of this garbage assclown and bankrupt him and his lovely rear end company into the ground. :murder:

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:57

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

CharlestheHammer posted:

I like how he seems to be baffled that people think he fired her because her looks when that is all he talked about in his thing.

That wasn't the stated reason tho which is all that matters legally and therefore at all is likely his line of thinking

# ? Jun 22, 2017 17:58

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Blue Train posted:

That wasn't the stated reason tho which is all that matters legally and therefore at all is likely his line of thinking

Yeah but what is weird is he didn't mention that in his original stuff at all. Maybe he realized he hosed up by implying like he did,

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:00

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

CharlestheHammer posted:

I like how he seems to be baffled that people think he fired her because her looks when that is all he talked about in his thing.

He says in the comments he listed mistakes, but not what those mistakes were.

I think he'll find that if you never write someone up and suddenly fire them for "mistakes" after returning from maternity leave you'll have a bad time...

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:00

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

maskenfreiheit posted:

He says in the comments he listed mistakes, but not what those mistakes were.

I think he'll find that if you never write someone up and suddenly fire them for "mistakes" after returning from maternity leave you'll have a bad time...

Ah, the "judges are robots with no ability to read between the lines" idiot law tactic. Hopefully Hellen is just busy looking for a new job before Adell sues the gently caress out of him.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:02

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

La Brea Carpet posted:

My gf [23F] is raging after I [27M] said I won't quit my job to travel for a month.

"Hey guys, this house is on fire, and I can't put it out. What are some strategies for staying inside this house?"

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Haifisch posted:

Ah, the "judges are robots with no ability to read between the lines" idiot law tactic. Hopefully Hellen is just busy looking for a new job before Adell sues the gently caress out of him.

You dont have to hope, there is no universe where you suddenly start wearing nice clothes a lot, putting on makeup, and being nervous when your boss asks how you are spending your time that isnt "Im job hunting"

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:04

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

blarzgh posted:

"Hey guys, this house is on fire, and I can't put it out. What are some strategies for staying inside this house?"

This one had a good outcome:

quote:

Redditor 1
so... spotting the consensus here?

OP
Indeed, I am an idiot.

Redditor 2
Ah, but, the healing has begun.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:09

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Just think, some day that asset manager will have to work with women over 35...or even...I shudder to say it, over 40.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:25

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

La Brea Carpet posted:

My gf [23F] is raging after I [27M] said I won't quit my job to travel for a month.

Help, my verbally abusive girlfriend is angry I won't quit my job and pay for a 2 month long European vacation for her, what do?

Because, you know, she has no job, so how is she going to pay for anything?

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:27

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

MF_James posted:

Help, my verbally abusive girlfriend is angry I won't quit my job and pay for a 2 month long European vacation for her, what do?

Because, you know, she has no job, so how is she going to pay for anything?

Oh don't worry, she had 6k of student loans left over that she was going to use. So, you know, responsible.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:28

Pebergehund: Jan 21, 2010

blarzgh posted:

"Hey guys, this house is on fire, and I can't put it out. What are some strategies for staying inside this house?"

To all the people telling me to leave the house: you are not helping, it's a great house! (Apart from the fire) I'm not gonna just leave it.
To the two people who were actually giving helpful advice: thank you, I will definitely try that!

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:29

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Universe Master posted:

Just think, some day that asset manager will have to work with women over 35...or even...I shudder to say it, over 40.

I wouldn't doubt if he has a plan to phase them out and replace them one at a time.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:29

The_end: May 17, 2014

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

sounds like you can't relate to this dude being unhappy then

I [28/M] suffered a brain injury. Everyone treats me like I�m handicapped and it�s ruining my marriage and all my relationships

This guy is passing up the ultimate opportunity.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 18:30

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [52M] son [21M] flunked out of college and has known for 5mo but lied about it until today. Help figuring out what to do?

quote:

Today, my son called me to let me know he flunked out of school--he learned about this early January, but kept it hidden from me and my wife [50f] for the entire duration since finding out. Background below.

My son had been dismissed from school before, and fall semester was his first semester back. I guess he did not get good enough grades that semester for his conditional re acceptance to go through. He found out in early January, while he was visiting us over winter break, but didn't share, fearful of our disappointment. Instead, he went back to college (about 10 hours from our home) and pretended to attend classes. I have since found out during this 5-6 month period he did not do much of anything. He talked to a counselor (which I support) and signed up for community college classes starting in the fall. That was all he did. Other than that he merely played video games or hung out with friends. He utilized our money (sorry if we sound like we spoil him--we just didn't want to have him worrying about funds while getting an education, and cover his rent/food/school expenses). Whenever we called, however (probably once or twice a week between my wife and I) he would tell us about classes or homework he was working on. So he lied to us this whole time.

I know we should have been more on him as he had problems before, but he spent a year going to a community college near us with us watching over him. He got good grades and focused on his studies but seemed unhappy without any friends around (everyone else moved away for school) and with us breathing down his neck. We were trying to show we trusted him to do what we had to do by not asking to check his grades.

Now we're faced with what to do. I told my son we would talk about punishments and boundaries when he returned to our place on Monday. My wife and I don't know how far is too far, so we're asking for some advice on how to handle this problem.

Obviously, we are asking him to move back home. When at home, he will attend community college and will have to show us his grades throughout the semester to make sure he's succeeding. He will also have to pick up a part time job and start paying us back for money we spent housing and feeding him for those months he lied to us--I do not feel comfortable with him lying to us just to take our money to buy games or go do things with friends.If he does not want to continue school he will find a full time job. I want him to prove he is submitting resumes weekly until he does get one, and then showing us the paystubs once he is employed. As he does not have a car, either we will drive him places or he will give us strict time estimates for his schedule and show us proof he is actually going to these places. I also plan on taking away his game console as he bought that with money that was supposed to go to education until he pays us back and shows us he is responsible.

Are these reasonable regulations? I would like to treat my son like an adult but obviously he struggles with adult concepts like taking responsibility for his actions, so instead i feel i have to treat him like a grounded child. If they aren't reasonable, can we get some suggestions as to what to do instead?

We're very lost here. Just trying to help our son get his life together and grow up.

edit: i have looked at this sub before and you guys seem to give good advice. obviously this is not my main account.

edit: just wanted to put out there that i am not sure why everyone thinks we have a long history of micro managing. we were very hands off until he was dismissed. i guess i was unclear when i said "watched over him". it was not really a constant tracking so much of a "oh how are you doing in classes" and "did you get your readmissions sorted out?" check ins. sorry if that is considered micro managing, will try to avoid that.

tl;dr My son flunked out of college and lied to me about it for 5 months. Need help figuring out what appropriate punishments are in this situation.

redditor posted:

OP: "my son wont act like an adult, we are going to fix this by wrapping him in the parental cocoon!"

# ? Jun 22, 2017 19:36

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Universe Master posted:

Just think, some day that asset manager will have to work with women over 35...or even...I shudder to say it, over 40.

Don't be ridiculous.

"I keep getting older, but the age of the women I hire stays the same! What a wonderful world..."

# ? Jun 22, 2017 19:43

CrimsonSaber: Dec 27, 2005; Metaphysicist

Haifisch posted:

My [52M] son [21M] flunked out of college and has known for 5mo but lied about it until today. Help figuring out what to do?

Please tell me this kid is a goon.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 19:45

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

CrimsonSaber posted:

Please tell me this kid is a goon.

if he's not now, he will be after his parents turn him into a house elf

# ? Jun 22, 2017 20:09

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

I think the guy who fired his employee is a fake. Not because the situation is unlikely, but because what he seems to want to gain from the post is so nebulous.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 20:21

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

new phone who dis posted:

I think the guy who fired his employee is a fake. Not because the situation is unlikely, but because what he seems to want to gain from the post is so nebulous.

I think he wants to patch the relationship between him and the one girl so he can gently caress her at a later date.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 20:39

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Haifisch posted:

My [52M] son [21M] flunked out of college and has known for 5mo but lied about it until today. Help figuring out what to do?

More like keeping the shithead accountable. If he spends a semester doing poo poo-all he obviously needs at least some degree of oversight. Maybe get him therapy as there's a chance he's depressed. And if he is, I still support oversight as it can help when someone has expectations of you. Sometimes not, but for me it did.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 20:48

punched my v-card at camp: Sep 4, 2008; Broken and smokin' where the infrared deer plunge in the digital snake

Avenging_Mikon posted:

More like keeping the shithead accountable. If he spends a semester doing poo poo-all he obviously needs at least some degree of oversight. Maybe get him therapy as there's a chance he's depressed. And if he is, I still support oversight as it can help when someone has expectations of you. Sometimes not, but for me it did.

Yeah, I don't get the pushback here. The kid lied to them for a semester and took their support under false pretenses; it makes sense that if he wanted their continued support then we would have to completely rebuild their trust. I guess I'm assuming those conditions come with the alternative of supporting himself, which he's free to do.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 21:27

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I�m [29F] receiving increasingly cringy messages from a distant friend [30s?M].

quote:

Let�s call him Eustace. Eustace and I were never super close friends, but we would hang out in a group whenever he visited my old roommate and it was always fun. He moved for work a while back and I think he might be lonely, maybe even depressed. He�s always been a bit peculiar, but I never got a weird creepy vibe from him until recently. The messages started out with him reminiscing about hanging out with our friend group and transitioned to him complaining about his issues with dating in the area where he lives now. Then he singled out me and my best friend Mabel [29F] and insisted there are no women like us where he lives and that none of them wear sundresses (?). The reason I�m here is that last night he sent me the following over facebook messenger:

�Make my day and take a picture of yourself next time you decide to sport one of your many beautiful summer dresses. Post it to fb for all to admire. I miss summer dress season� (Not sure why he�s so hung up on the drat dresses.)

I want to be direct and shut this behavior down because it makes me feel super uncomfortable, but I�m also worried about his state of mind because he might be lonely and depressed and it�s pushing him into saying weird poo poo. I don�t want him to become further isolated and turn into a Nice Guy�.

I�m in a long-term relationship and Eustace is actually closer with my SO than me, or so I thought. I�ve shown my SO all the messages Eustace has sent so far and he expressed that he feels uncomfortable about them as well, but we disagree on how to address the problem. I also told Mabel because she�s gotten similar messages from Eustace, but she just doesn�t respond to him. I for sure want to confront him about it, but I'm nervous it will come off mean. I would appreciate any pointers on how to respond. Thanks!

TL;DR: Distant friend [30s?M] is saying creepy things to me [29F]over fb messenger. How do I shut it down without further isolating him?

# ? Jun 22, 2017 21:55

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

La Brea Carpet posted:

I’m [29F] receiving increasingly cringy messages from a distant friend [30s?M].

There was a whole subreddit devoted to pictures of the sun shining through a sun dress to show the woman's figure and I figure his fetish is related. either way he wants to beat off to those pics

# ? Jun 22, 2017 21:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Blue Train posted:

There was a whole subreddit devoted to pictures of the sun shining through a sun dress to show the woman's figure and I figure his fetish is related. either way he wants to beat off to those pics

Wasnt that because it made it easier to use photoshop to create convincing nudes of the person? Like some kind of extremely pervy version of that scene in movies where everyone is shouting zoom! Enhance!

# ? Jun 22, 2017 22:01

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [32/F] friend [33/F] offered to euthanise me

quote:

I have a progressive neurological disease but the doctors don't know exactly how it will look like down the road since it's very rare. From the outside it would be hard to even known that I'm sick, it would take a keen eye to notice any disability.

I'm also a very optimistic person in general. I am very private and usually project things in a positive way ("ya, it sucks, but life is unexpected and these challenges make us better. There are people with much worse conditions than me..." etc.)

Anyway, this foreword was so you can have an idea of what I'm like. It's not like I was on my deathbed, complaining that I want to die, and she kindly offered to help. Very, very far from that. We aren't even that close. We are from the same circle of friends and she actively tried (looking back I now see how aggressive she was about it) to be close with me. I decided to give it a chance because she seemed nice and interesting. She asked me about my disease and i shared what I was comfortable with. Then she came to visit me one day and it was the day after I'd been in the hospital for a week to get a very rough treatment. So ya, I wasn't looking my best and was a little weak, but I still cooked for four people and went outside for a walk with her and her husband. I was communicative and not in a foul mood - just a little tired.

Fast forward to the next time I saw her which was a few months later. We went out for dinner, and she said she'd been thinking about me and about ways to help me. Her conclusion was that she wanted me to know that whenever I reach the point where my life is no longer worth living, she will be there to euthanise me. (My heart is racing just writing this down and it's been a year). Obviously I was shocked, and sure that I'd heard wrong, but then she went on to explain how she knows it's a tough thing to do but she'd be willing to do it, and there were tears in her eyes. Then I finally responded and said that if and when the time comes I'd like to think that I can take care of myself, to which she said "oh ya? And what if you can't open the bottle of pills?"

When that awful dinner was over I got home and was shaking all over. The weeks after that were the closest I've ever felt To being depressed. I'd never even considered the worst case scenario, because what's the point, and she managed to hit a very sore place I didn't know existed.

She emailed me later saying she hopes I didn't take it the wrong way and that she's sorry if I didn't understand her intentions, she only wants to help. I answered and said what she did was not ok and she should never offer that to anyone, especially someone with a chronic illness, since it could push them to suicide. She wrote back that she understood and was sorry again.

A year has passed. We rarely communicate and I've seen her twice in a group setting. The first time I was dreading the encounter, and felt really afraid to see her. The second time was better but still v awkward. She tries to act like all is ok but I'm not ok and don't think I will be anytime soon. I will still have to see her in group settings. Any advice on how to handle this? Thanks for reading and wishing you all a beautiful day !

tl;dr She offered to kill me if my disease progressed badly and now I don't know how to be around her

# ? Jun 22, 2017 22:02

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 04:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Haifisch posted:

My [32/F] friend [33/F] offered to euthanise me

Oh, hey its that girl my friend went on a date with once who became an emt "so I can watch people die"

# ? Jun 22, 2017 22:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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