/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Danaru posted:

I (32F) love drinking IPA beer. My husband (32M) of 3 years says that it makes my skin smell and won't be intimate with me when I drink. I think he's just making excuses and doesn't find me attractive and won't be honest.

General consensus is slamming up to six pints of IPA a night is likely responsible for her smelling like IPA all the time, and maybe dial it back a bit or take a loving shower.

Instead of heeding that advice:

From a throwaway obviously...my husband says that my skin smells bad when I drink IPA. Is this even possible? (self.beer)

Once again she's told that yes it's obviously the loving IPAs.

Undaunted, in the No Stupid Questions Tuesday - ask anything about beer thread she asks:

Her fridge, rows upon rows of IPAs and Gatorade.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:05

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# ? May 23, 2024 16:25

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Ipas are gross and basic poo poo

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:08

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

I enjoy a good tasty IPA but man how could you be slamming multiple IPAs every single night and not feel horrible mentally and physically. Maybe I drink 1 beer after work in the evenings and it's typically lighter stuff.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:16

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I'm guilty of getting pretty drunk once or twice a week, but jesus christ she's drinking way over my limit every single night. My gut's churning just thinking about it

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:23

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I am a drunk and drink either 42 or 48 ounces of 6.9% alcohol daily, minus a night or two every fortnight maybe. She's a drunk too

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:26

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Game recognize game

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:27

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

I wonder if her boyfriend is put off because she's ingested so many hops she reeks of cat piss or because she is taking in an extra 1000 calories of barley water every single day. Probably both.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:29

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Clark Nova posted:

or because she is taking in an extra 1000 calories of barley water every single day

Why do you think he started checking out instagram girls?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:38

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

maskenfreiheit posted:

she should, like switch to weed?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 05:11

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

drinking just ipas gives me a real bad hangover, worse than wine

also bell's two hearted is poo poo, fight me beer snobs

# ? Jul 5, 2017 05:34

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

drinking just ipas gives me a real bad hangover, worse than wine

also bell's two hearted is poo poo, fight me beer snobs

bell's is for oberon and porters wtf

# ? Jul 5, 2017 05:47

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My[22m] roommate[21m] is really jealous that I am able to date women, and he isn't. All he does is complain about being friendzoned.

"my friend" is a great dude he's just righteously upset about being an 8/10 in Chad and Stacey's world, wait stop why are you calling him a creep

It's kind of fascinating to see this kind of person from the Chad's perspective for once.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 07:15

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Blue Train posted:

Game recognize game

If I went to six pints a night it would be seriously cutting back.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 07:57

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Do I (25f) disappoint my partner (24m) or disappoint my work?

quote:

u/spiralized1987
I agreed to go to a family function with my partner tomorrow however I've just now been given more work that requires a lot of hours put in. Do I go to the function and then have to catch up on work during my sleeping hours or do I not go to the dinner and disappoint him? The dinner is an hour away and he's my ride so I can't leave early and it'll go until midnight or so.

I told him and he said he'd prefer it if I came so I feel a bit stuck and guilty.

TLDR - work commitment vs family commitment. Which one to do?

So the solution to this seems to be "Book a mini-cab or taxi" presumably. It's the comments that make this:

quote:

jphamlore� 12m

quote:
I told him and he said he'd prefer it if I came so I feel a bit stuck and guilty.

OP, if your boyfriend is going to be an rear end and try to make you feel guilty, next time tell him you can't go because of work, and tell him you are not asking his opinion and he can keep it to himself.

quote:
spiralized1987� 6m
I know, him saying he prefers if I came made me feel horrible and also a bit guilted!

Expressing an obvious opinion is assholery of the highest order and guilting.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 08:01

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Milotic posted:

Expressing an obvious opinion is assholery of the highest order and guilting.

2017: keep saying how upset you are about something, and it becomes someone's fault.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 08:24

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

also bell's two hearted is poo poo, fight me beer snobs

I love bell's as a brewery but two hearted is straight garbage.

also y'all are a bunch of lightweights, I can drink 4 beers and only have a decent buzz going

# ? Jul 5, 2017 14:24

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Yawgmoth posted:

I love bell's as a brewery but two hearted is straight garbage.

also y'all are a bunch of lightweights, I can drink 4 beers and only have a decent buzz going

Bells just uses Centennial hops, which is a unique taste even when compared to other IPAs

Most days I have 5-6 IPA, because I have issues. I burn an insane amount of calories, though, so there's no weight gain. Also I hydrate like a fish so I'm never hung over. I wish I did get fat and hungover so I'd have more reason to quit.

What was my point? Oh, I do not smell like a brewery. Believe me, my wife and kids and parents would tell me, loudly. There was another story itt about someone who smelled liek... was it thai food? Can someone explain how this happens? Is it just a lack of showering, or do some people's bodies secrete more "food stuff" out of the pores?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 14:44

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Drunk Nerds posted:

What was my point? Oh, I do not smell like a brewery. Believe me, my wife and kids and parents would tell me, loudly. There was another story itt about someone who smelled liek... was it thai food? Can someone explain how this happens? Is it just a lack of showering, or do some people's bodies secrete more "food stuff" out of the pores?

What happens is that your friends and family are just being polite.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 14:49

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

The Ferret King posted:

What happens is that your friends and family are just being polite.

I said BELIEVE ME!

# ? Jul 5, 2017 14:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The only reason microbrews are popular is that they allow alcoholics plausible deniability

# ? Jul 5, 2017 16:23

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

An IPA is an occasional tasty distraction. Slamming bottle after bottle every night is just gross. Ugh, just think of the hops smell in everything. Your mouth, your sweat, your pee, your clothes, the upholstery.

Do yourself a favor girl, and invest in $10 handles of rotgut and learn to take them straight. You'll save tons of money, for starters. You're clearly drinking to get drunk, so now it is time to get the cheapest oz of pure alcohol/dollar value you can stomach. Buy an IPA once a week and use it as a chaser.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 16:54

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Drunk Nerds posted:

There was another story itt about someone who smelled liek... was it thai food? Can someone explain how this happens? Is it just a lack of showering, or do some people's bodies secrete more "food stuff" out of the pores?

A friend of mine is married to a woman from thailand, and you can definetly smell it on him when she has been cooking. The food is delicious but thai ingredients like oils and spices can have a really strong odor that gets into everyting.

Strong spices is gonna make your sweat stink alot more so food stuff out of the pores also i guess

# ? Jul 5, 2017 16:55

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

We're dangerously close to a huge beer chat derail but Sixpoint's Resin is the best, most balanced IPA I've ever had, and that's all I have to say about that

# ? Jul 5, 2017 16:55

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Pick posted:

The only reason microbrews are popular is that they allow alcoholics plausible deniability

I'm a more cultured alcoholic because I drink microbrew, really

# ? Jul 5, 2017 16:59

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

My (37M) wife (37F) has a �work husband�, I have no problems with jokes or good friends but I can�t help feel she�s now overstepping some boundaries and she either can�t see it or chooses not to see it, am I just paranoid or is there reason to be concerned here? Together 16 years, Long post

quote:

My wife started work at a new company about 2 years ago after a year of unemployment when her old company laid off a number of people. She was very depressed about that because she�s someone who enjoys working and when she was hired at her new company, she was beyond happy. I met quite a few of her co-workers here and there at some company events including this guy I�ll call Jim.

Jim works with my wife and they�re both company HR officers. About a year back my wife referred to Jim as her work husband in a playful manner and I didn�t really have any problem with this. I have an office mom, an elder lady who is pretty much a mother hen to everyone who works on our floor so I had no problems with that. I know co-workers can be good friends and I trust my wife. She�s always been a super positive, friendly and upbeat person which hasn�t changed in all the years I�ve known her. She makes friends easily so it was no surprise she hit it off spectacularly with at least one person.

We have a pretty solid level of communication and an active, healthy sex life. We go on dates still and take walks together as well as other exercise. So my wife messaging her work friends ever so often isn�t a bother for me really, I know she can be super chatty and I do not expect her to get all of her social needs met at home. It�s fine for her to have her friends and spend time with them whenever they can. So last week Friday I was invited to a small after work get together with my wife�s co-workers who know me by now. Some other co-workers spouses/significant others also came along and sure enough Jim was there laughing with my wife, no biggie. We chatted quite a bit and then later in the night a manager at my wife�s office who�d had a bit to drink was like, �Man I dunno how you do that? I couldn�t handle my wife being so friendly with another guy.�

My wife was chatting with one of the girlfriends of someone in her office and so I asked the manager what he meant.

He told me that my wife and Jim are SUPER close. They eat together most days, they�ll go grab breakfast together and lunch. Sometimes they�ll eat in the lunchroom but other times it�ll be two of them sitting at one desk or the other. He was telling me how some mornings, my wife comes into the office and Jim says out loud, �there�s my work wife!� and my wife winks and blows a kiss at him. Apparently most people in the office think they�re weirdly close for two married people.

So on Saturday I spoke to my wife about it and she doesn�t see anything weird. She says it�s just harmless flirting between friends and they work alone most of the time (they�re two HR officers and a manager who comes in every now and then). Most days they don�t have a whole lot to do so they�ll just spend it chatting with each other. I asked her what the heck is up with the whole blowing kisses and winking thing ever so often that a couple people asked about it. She immediately asked who but I said enough people that think it�s weird and felt the need to ask your husband about it. She says it�s not weird and they�re just friends, she swears it�s nothing going on at all. That she was home for a year and when she started working with Jim who was already there, she latched on quickly because he�s a nice person. She was crying and telling me she loved me and it wasn�t like that at all, even offering to let me read their messages. I did, between my asking her about the situation to when I checked her phone, she hadn�t been near it. I did comb through several months� worth of messages and there was nothing weird at all. Their messages aren�t flirty or anything but I still feel she�s gotten too close to this man.

Even if there�s nothing physical going on, for several of her co-workers to feel weird means that everyone is picking up on something between them, even if neither of them is willing to admit or see it. I told her I think she�s having an emotional affair of some kind, she may not recognize it especially since we still have a pretty solid marriage with lots of time spent together bonding and all that and she clammed up denying that it was anything like that. Despite all this she was crying and admitted to having a crush on him which didn�t exactly make me happy. She also admitted Jim and his wife�s marriage has been rough for a long time and he confided in her for advice. I told her that I cannot stop her from hanging out with the guy but I would like her to take some steps back. If other people who are around you two 9 hours a day can pick up on something then there is something going on there even if you don�t realize it.

So here we are 4 days later, she maintains it�s nothing weird and says she just got super clingy after being alone for that entire period she was home and then spending the first 6 months at her job settling in and all that.

Should I just let my wife potentially play with fire and hope this doesn't burn us?

So am I being a paranoid husband here? Does it seem like there is something that needs my attention? Does it seem like I should be worried? My wife has given me 0 reasons to suspect her of being unfaithful and yet there�s a very small irritation in me that this, whatever it is, my wife has with Jim could wind up turning into something more down the road if she isn�t careful. That is if it isn't heading there already and I just don't know it.

TL;DR wife and work husband have an odd relationship where there�s some unintentional (maybe) emotional cheating happening I think

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:01

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Milotic posted:

Do I (25f) disappoint my partner (24m) or disappoint my work?

So the solution to this seems to be "Book a mini-cab or taxi" presumably. It's the comments that make this:

Expressing an obvious opinion is assholery of the highest order and guilting.

I mean, what else could the OP have possibly expected a panel of internet strangers to do with the information provided except go GURL, YOU NEED TO DUMP THAT ZERO AND GET WITH A HERO

help me reddit I have an event, do I wear the red dress or the blue dress

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:08

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Naerasa posted:

My (37M) wife (37F) has a �work husband�, I have no problems with jokes or good friends but I can�t help feel she�s now overstepping some boundaries and she either can�t see it or chooses not to see it, am I just paranoid or is there reason to be concerned here? Together 16 years, Long post

When a bunch of people in your office are telling your husband that they find your behavior is over the line, and you start crying and getting defensive, and asking who ratted you out, maybe you need to check yourself.

I mean, I doubt she's being so overt with someone that she's actually cheating with, so there's that.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:16

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I mean, what else could the OP have possibly expected a panel of internet strangers to do with the information provided except go GURL, YOU NEED TO DUMP THAT ZERO AND GET WITH A HERO

help me reddit I have an event, do I wear the red dress or the blue dress

Wear the red dress because it makes you an alpha bitch.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:18

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

blarzgh posted:

I mean, I doubt she's being so overt with someone that she's actually cheating with, so there's that.

I don't, she sounds stupid as hell and her husband is a Reddit-querying worm of a man

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:19

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

blarzgh posted:

When a bunch of people in your office are telling your husband that they find your behavior is over the line, and you start crying and getting defensive, and asking who ratted you out, maybe you need to check yourself.

I mean, I doubt she's being so overt with someone that she's actually cheating with, so there's that.

To me, the worst part isn't that she's cheating on her husband at work (which she totally is even if she doesn't acknowledge it), it's that both she and the other guy are the loving HR reps. Stupid bitch is gonna lose her marriage AND her job.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:21

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

I have a "work wife" and we'll chat and occasionally grab lunch or whatever but blowing kisses and spending every working moment and every lunch together is weird and I doubt she'd break down crying if her hubby said "hey I'm not comfortable with how you are around Pac-Manioc Root maybe dial that poo poo back."

I don't think she's cheating with him but she is a huge idiot who is pushing boundaries for no good reason and making things weird for her coworkers, which like Naerasa said is real bad for an HR drone.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:25

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Honestly the husband should take her at her word and not sweat it. It'll be funnier that way.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 17:26

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

I have a "work wife" and we'll chat and occasionally grab lunch or whatever but blowing kisses and spending every working moment and every lunch together is weird and I doubt she'd break down crying if her hubby said "hey I'm not comfortable with how you are around Pac-Manioc Root maybe dial that poo poo back."

I don't think she's cheating with him but she is a huge idiot who is pushing boundaries for no good reason and making things weird for her coworkers, which like Naerasa said is real bad for an HR drone.

I have a "work wife" and it's a guy. It's okay to have a work spouse when you're also shredding the patriarchy.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:09

bellows lugosi: Aug 9, 2003

Me [29/F] with my husband 30/m of 4 years, doesn't work but won't look after the house. Burned himself on a pan while making breakfast to prove a point. I don't know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

quote:

My husband and I have been married for 4 years now and overall our marriage has been okay. We're thinking about having kids soon and I think that's what has set off my fears about our future because I don't think he'll look after them properly.

He's not a stupid guy, he went to uni, got a good degree but he has never had a job except for one where he worked for less than a week. He would come home sobbing every day, couldn't sleep and wouldn't eat anything. After going back and forth on what to do, saying how he'd rather kill himself than work, how he could never see himself being happy again, he asked if he could be a stay at home boyfriend and I agreed. Frankly, I just wanted to see him happy again and every time I said give it another day, he'd scream and I didn't like coming home from work seeing him upset and hearing about how much he hated his life.

He promised to cook and clean and I'm genuinely not a psycho about this stuff, if he wants to spend hours on a video game or just relaxing in general, I don't mind but for years, I've been coming home and cleaning up and then cleaning more on the weekends.

He doesn't shower for a week at a time and a lot of the time I'll come home to a cheese toastie for dinner and sometimes nothing. I've mentioned how it's not the fact that he's relaxing that annoys me, it's that I'm hungry when I get home but he will blow up. He'll slam kitchen doors as he makes me something to eat, yell that I should love him no matter what (I never tell him I don't love him, because I do), says that I think that I'm better than him cause I have a job. I don't think that all, I go to work to pay for us both to be happy but he isn't and I hate that.

When we got married he talked about starting a business but after putting thousands into it, he said that he hated it, that he was stressed, that his life had ended, so again he wanted to go back to doing nothing. That's fine with me as long as he's happy doing nothing but it seems that he's neither happy when working and when unemployed.

He hates everyone that I work with, won't come to social events with me no matter what, which although not great, he'll then text me all night telling me to come home, saying how bored he is. Then when I get home, I'll tell him the event was okay and he'll ignore me.

He'll brag to his friends about how I do everything for him but then he'll contradict himself and say that he does all the housework, cooks etc and all I do is go to work. He doesn't drive either so I have to drive him to his friends before work.

The final straw was this morning, I've worked a lot of night shifts in a row to pay for our upcoming holiday. This morning I asked him if he could make me a fried breakfast. After angrily slamming around the kitchen, I went upstairs to shower. I heard the smoke alarm going off so I jumped out and could smell strong burning. When I got downstairs, he was running his hand under water, telling me how this is all my fault. How I'd forced him to cook for me.

It all just felt so surreal like he'd deliberately burnt his hand to make me feel awful. I didn't want to put up with him anymore so I made myself something to eat and have been staying out of his way.

I don't want to divorce him, but I would like to see him happy. I want to start a family with him but I feel like I can't right now.

tl;dr: My husband doesn't work, but doesn't look after the house either. He yells at me for trying to address this imbalance.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:37

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ansel autisms posted:

Me [29/F] with my husband 30/m of 4 years, doesn't work but won't look after the house. Burned himself on a pan while making breakfast to prove a point. I don't know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

you mean a second baby

My (30f) husband (29m) is mad at me because I won't do his work presentation for him while I'm home recovering from surgery.

quote:

If this seems really stupid, that's because it is.

To give a little back story, I've been in pretty bad shape for over 6 months. I had really bad endometriosis that has resulted in probably 7 or 8 ER visits and 3 surgeries just this year. One of those surgeries was to remove my uterus, ovary, gallbladder, appendix, cervix, a whole bunch of endo, and do a bladder suspension. That was 4 weeks ago. After that, I had an emergency surgery in the middle of the night to basically re-stitch everything to stop some major bleeding. That was 2 weeks ago. I'm basically not allowed to do anything because we're all scared of the potential for more complications. I have until the end of this month before i can go back to work.

So June was a really tough month for my husband. I was in the hospital for almost half of the month, so he missed a lot of work and got really behind. He's finally gotten caught up, but now he has to do a small presentation next week. He asked me yesterday to do it for him (making the PowerPoint). I told him no. I'm completely unfamiliar with his job. I'm in a totally different field and i just don't speak that language. There's also the nagging voice in me that says cheating is bad. So I'm super not comfortable with it. Well he got super pissed and started yelling about how he's done so much for me during all this and he just wants some help. I said I'm happy to help, but I'm not going to do it for you. He wasn't having any of that, and told me to shut the gently caress up. I said okay and got up to take a shower, but he blocked my path to yell some more about how he's cleaned the house (2 times) and the garage (that was actually a big job and i told him i really appreciated it) and how he gets up to get me whatever I want (which he has, but I've been getting better and better and he hasn't had to do that in a couple of days). All of these things have been great and much appreciated, but come on! I had two surgeries in June and he insisted on doing those things. In fact he would get mad if i tried to do anything for myself.

Then there's also issue that if I would have ever asked him to do any of my work for me, or even to help me with my work, he would have laughed in my face. His response to that is that I'm not doing anything right now, which is true. But I feel like my brain has turned to mush over the last month. And of course I'm still on pain meds. I'm stressed out even thinking about doing that stupid presentation for him. I can't even imagine how stressed I'd be if I was actually trying to do it.
I just feel like anytime he asks me to do something, I can't say no without it becoming a huge thing. It's so frustrating.

drat this thing got long. Anyway he's still grumpy this morning, but he's gone to work. How do I handle this without making him more angry?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:42

Pebergehund: Jan 21, 2010

ansel autisms posted:

Me [29/F] with my husband 30/m of 4 years, doesn't work but won't look after the house. Burned himself on a pan while making breakfast to prove a point. I don't know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

Don't date children, no matter how old they are

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:42

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

lol at people who gently caress these wastes of oxygen, double lol at the rest of that post

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:42

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Pebergehund posted:

Don't date children, no matter how old they are

Say it louder for the people in the back.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:43

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

ansel autisms posted:

Me [29/F] with my husband 30/m of 4 years, doesn't work but won't look after the house. Burned himself on a pan while making breakfast to prove a point. I don't know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

that's what you get for dating 3D men :rolleyes:

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:43

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# ? May 23, 2024 16:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ansel autisms posted:

Me [29/F] with my husband 30/m of 4 years, doesn't work but won't look after the house. Burned himself on a pan while making breakfast to prove a point. I don't know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

So, why did you go on more than one date with this guy?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 18:45

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