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The most hilarious thing about that pool hall scene is the way they set it up so Seagal gets to do that Aikido master thing where he's on his knees and guys run at you one by one but you effortlessly deflect them away with various throws that would never work in real life.
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Jul 7, 2017 14:05
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Olympic Mathlete posted:My favourite thing about Steven Seagal is that Run the Jewels' El-P loves him because he's a sack of poo poo human. The whole interview is about Steven Seagal and it's incredible. This is great, the best interviews are just letting someone with a passion talk at length and only shepherd them gently. It read a bit like the old Fashion SWAT stuff from the front page, two guys who have a rapport chilling and expounding on a bullshit topic 
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Jul 7, 2017 14:18
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syscall girl posted:I just can't help but think of the tv news guy who did two (2) four loko originals as a puff piece and had to be hospitalized. Good, he deserved it.
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Jul 7, 2017 14:25
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Seagal has a reputation for injuring stunt people who do fight scenes with him, and for being unapologetic about it. May be why he only did close ups in the latter portion of his career. Also I have no idea if this story is true, I heard it from some SFX guys - some movie's first day of filming, he arrives several hours late, meditates in his trailer for a little while, and then declares that the "chi" of the set is all wrong and they have to tear it down. They shut down filming for the day while the director and producer did their best to tell him that that wasn't going to happen. So the next day he comes to set (late again) and spends about thirty minutes walking around set smudging it with sage to give it his Seagal-blessing.
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Jul 7, 2017 15:53
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Depressio111117 posted:Also I have no idea if this story is true, I heard it from some SFX guys - some movie's first day of filming, he arrives several hours late, meditates in his trailer for a little while, and then declares that the "chi" of the set is all wrong and they have to tear it down. They shut down filming for the day while the director and producer did their best to tell him that that wasn't going to happen. So the next day he comes to set (late again) and spends about thirty minutes walking around set smudging it with sage to give it his Seagal-blessing. I choose to believe this is true.
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Jul 7, 2017 15:59
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Sounds legit. I always enjoyed 'Hard to Kill' and watching Seagal come back from a several year coma.
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Jul 7, 2017 16:12
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C-Bangin' it 
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Depressio111117 posted:Seagal has a reputation for injuring stunt people who do fight scenes with him, and for being unapologetic about it. Yeah the stunt guys really did not like him, to the point where if anyone else ever accidentally hits them they go "It's okay, you're no Steve Seagal." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1il9FT5eZ0 There's a whole bunch of youtube videos of people dishing on Seagal
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Jul 7, 2017 16:20
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 Burn this planet to the ground Edit- I think I'm gonna order a ticket just to get one because holy poo poo a Valerian Fidget Spinner is the tackiest thing I've ever seen GonSmithe fucked around with this message at 16:52 on Jul 7, 2017 |
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Jul 7, 2017 16:45
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Literally everything had its own pogs back in the day. Fidget spinners are the pogs of this generation.
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Jul 7, 2017 16:58
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FreudianSlippers posted:Literally everything had its own pogs back in the day. Fidget spinners are the pogs of this generation. Yeah, but I don't remember headlines like this back in the pog days Oklahoma Man Rushed To Hospital After Fidget Spinner "Cock Ring" Gets Stuck
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Jul 7, 2017 17:10
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I saw a fidget spinner pornographic video the other day. The lady was spinning it against various erogenous zones in order to feel good. She had a lot of tattoos.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:11
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Skwirl posted:Yeah, but I don't remember headlines like this back in the pog days Probably because the media wasn't as ubiquitous or globalized back then. You're dreaming if you think nobody ever had to go to the hospital to have a slammer pulled out of their rear end.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:12
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fidget spinners own and actually work.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:26
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FreudianSlippers posted:Literally everything had its own pogs back in the day. Fidget spinners are the pogs of this generation. I think the current mememotif is that they're more the millennial version of the boomers' pet rock.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:27
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Depressio111117 posted:Seagal has a reputation for injuring stunt people who do fight scenes with him, and for being unapologetic about it. May be why he only did close ups in the latter portion of his career. I knew a guy in college who, when telling stories involving physical violence, would perform the acts on the person he was talking to. Some people just don't understand "pretend."
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Jul 7, 2017 17:31
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GonSmithe posted:
Hahaha! Fandango has like special offers each week for whatever big movie is coming out, I think I got free Mother's Day flowers for Guardians of the Galaxy 2
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Jul 7, 2017 17:37
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Alamo Drafthouse's gives me free movies and food.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:39
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Young Freud posted:I think the current mememotif is that they're more the millennial version of the boomers' pet rock. They're pet rocks and pogs and slap bracelets and those little plastic poppers everyone would use to give themselves hickeys and tamagotchis and Pokémon etc. etc. etc.
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Jul 7, 2017 17:48
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Phylodox posted:They're pet rocks and pogs and slap bracelets and those little plastic poppers everyone would use to give themselves hickeys and tamagotchis and Pokémon etc. etc. etc. See that's the problem with "millennial" I was alive and had everything mentioned except a pet rock. They need to split that poo poo up because goddamn is it a huge range.
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Jul 7, 2017 18:39
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I had Pokemon and a knockoff Tomagotchi. Not a Giga-Pet or anything like that, something cheaper yet that my grandma bought the grandkids. That's all I've done for trends.
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Jul 7, 2017 19:22
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I remember M.U.S.C.L.E. men and Garbage Pail Kids being the hot thing when I was young.
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Jul 7, 2017 19:34
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Phylodox posted:I remember M.U.S.C.L.E. men and Garbage Pail Kids being the hot thing when I was young. M.U.S.C.L.E. men owned. I used to have them go on adventures in the backyard. Then I'd find them the next spring half sun-bleached. The purple ones turned the best color
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Jul 7, 2017 19:37
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Well I've been on a kick of looking up youtube vids about Steven Seagal, highlights include him making GBS threads himself while trying to fight a judo master and John Leguizamo making GBS threads (metaphorically) all over him. Found this vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cUNU8GkMso Worth a look.
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Jul 7, 2017 19:38
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Phylodox posted:I remember M.U.S.C.L.E. men and Garbage Pail Kids being the hot thing when I was young. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08ABhmCSI_w
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Jul 7, 2017 19:46
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Shageletic posted:Well I've been on a kick of looking up youtube vids about Steven Seagal, highlights include him making GBS threads himself while trying to fight a judo master and John Leguizamo making GBS threads (metaphorically) all over him. Upon rewatching the Country Max episode really is the definitive Stephen Seagal story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC-OucPbBCo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPzQ581ql2g Neo Rasa fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Jul 7, 2017 |
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Jul 7, 2017 19:53
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Okay, you want a Seagal movie to watch? Here's the one to watch: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493424/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_73 Why? "Screenwriter Joe Halpin is quoted in the book "Seagalogy: The rear end Kicking Films of Steven Seagal" as saying that "Attack Force" had originally been written and filmed as "Harvester," a sci-fi/horror movie with Steven Seagal and his men battling an invading force of vampire space aliens. After Seagal, Halpin and director Michael Keusch had delivered the finished sci-fi film, the production and distribution company decided to eliminate the sci-fi space-alien elements and replace them with another plot about a super-addictive drug that turns its users into superhuman killers. They called back a few of the lower-paid actors for re-shoots, re-dubbed the majority of Seagal's dialog via ADR, totally re-edited the film and changed it into "Attack Force" as it is now known. Seagal and Halpin were not involved." Now, when they say "re-dubbed", he's not talking like the producers said, "Okay, Steve's got this speech here that doesn't fit the plot, so redub it." What he's saying is, the producers said, "Okay, Steve's got this speech here that doesn't fit the plot, so redub lines 2, 4, and 7, but keep the rest of it." It's bonkers. I guess the other take away is that there's a book called "Seagalogy: The rear end Kicking Films of Steven Seagal"
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Jul 7, 2017 21:00
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I always liked Segal being in Machete and ending his fight scene by committing suppuku, presumably because he refused to allow himself to lose a fight in a movie.
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Jul 7, 2017 21:10
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Davros1 posted:
I was gonna give u poo poo for not reading the thread since it was already brought up but apparently the Steven Seagal derail's been going on for 4+ pages so understandable
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Jul 7, 2017 21:33
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Davros1 posted:Okay, you want a Seagal movie to watch? Here's the one to watch: The best thing about this movie is when I saw it on Netflix it actually had the alien invasion plot description. Not that the movie had aliens, just the Netflix description was of the alien vampire plot. IIRC the DVD describes a third plot about a super drug manufactuer that doesn't involve super soldiers.
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Jul 7, 2017 21:41
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ruddiger posted:Under Siege 1 is good, but instead of Under Siege 2, I'd watch Out For Justice or Above the Law instead. Those two at least have great villains (William Forsythe and Henry Silva respectively) and Seagal sadistically maims and butchers pretty much anyone he encounters. Above the Law also has Pam Grier in it which is always good.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:20
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I thought Id look up what some of his latest movies were. Good god he looks like a bloated, saggy Danny McBride. The contrast between that fat neck and normal body is amazing.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:55
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Cage posted:I thought Id look up what some of his latest movies were. Good god he looks like a bloated, saggy Danny McBride. McBride would be inspired casting for a Seagal biopic.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:57
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Big Mean Jerk posted:McBride would be inspired casting for a Seagal biopic. Wouldnt need to change anything really from the Eastbound and Down formula.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:09
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Someone mentioned Seagal's music, which reminded me: at some point, he was playing with a band called Thunderbox. This is hilarious for Australians, because that's what we call an outside toilet.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:14
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Cage posted:I thought Id look up what some of his latest movies were. Good god he looks like a bloated, saggy Danny McBride.  Did they really just photoshop his head onto someone else's body!?Also for some reason I thought he was the villain in Broken Arrow but I looked it up and apparently it was Travolta. I wonder how the fight scenes in that movie would have panned out if it was him instead. Guy Mann posted:I always liked Segal being in Machete and ending his fight scene by committing suppuku, presumably because he refused to allow himself to lose a fight in a movie. IIRC, his character actually fucks it up too and he just spends his final moments in a fetal position pathetically bleeding out instead of looking like a badass.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:48
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MechanicalTomPetty posted:
edit: poo poo, thought I was in the poster megathread. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3461865&userid=39349 Most feature badly photoshopped heads.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:44
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Anyone remember approximately when this Mountain Dew commercial is from? I seem to recall that I had no idea who Seagal was before I saw it. I'm thinking 2003-2004 or there abouts.
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Jul 8, 2017 06:29
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I'm still wondering how the Cockpuncher segment in The Onion Movie even got signed off on... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_xuf9KjmcA It's very obvious that it's a stunt double for the gag stunts, but they still got Seagal's face in on this.
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Jul 8, 2017 06:33
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"I once heard a story about Steven Seagal—this is another reason that I love this motherfucker—I heard a story from somebody about Steven Seagal, that a producer came into his—I think this story’s out now, but I heard it years before it came out—that he called his producer into his home, and he said, “Come here, you have to come here,” and the guy came into his home, and Steven Seagal had a 10-foot wooden desk, and on the desk was a script and a gun. And Steven Seagal was sitting at the desk and he was crying and the guy said, “Steven, what’s wrong?” And he looked up and he said, “I just read the best script I have ever read in my life.” And the producer said, “Wow, that’s amazing. Who wrote it?” And he said, “I did.” Like, Steven Seagal is batshit, loving insane. " Hahahahaha!
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Jul 8, 2017 07:08
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Davros1 posted:
It's written by Vern who is a cool guy and writes great reviews of mostly action type films ranging from big budget to obscure. He gives all movies a fair shot and discusses what is interesting or entertaining about them, and writes about aspects of them you normally wouldn't read in a review. his site is outlawvern.com
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