peanut posted:

blame Australia for calling public schools gymnasium.

Gromit posted:

Is this some sort of auto-correct weirdness, or am I hopelessly out of date with what we now call schools here?

Sammus posted:

I got my mini crossbows from eBay today! They're awesome, and the danger factor is probably over rated, although I wouldn't want someone to shoot me in the eyes with it. Also upon assembling it i noticed the silverish paint stuff on the outside was flaking off and my hand developed itchy bumps.... Now I'm concerned.

Jeoh posted:

congrats on the crossbows and cancer

Gromit posted:

Is this some sort of auto-correct weirdness, or am I hopelessly out of date with what we now call schools here?

quote:

Chinese umbrella-sharing firm remains upbeat despite losing most of its 300,000 brollies


Inspired by China’s bike-sharing schemes, company founder remains confident despite early storm

The owners of a Chinese umbrella-sharing company have learnt that sometimes in business it never rains but it pours.

Just weeks after making 300,000 brollies available to the public via a rental scheme, Sharing E Umbrella announced that most of them had gone missing, news website Thepaper.cn reported on Thursday.

The report did not say exactly how many items had been spirited away, but quoted company founder Zhao Shuping as saying the business was by no means a wash out.
After seeing the launch of bike-sharing schemes across the country, the Shenzhen, Guangdong province-based businessman said he “thought that everything on the street can now be shared”.
“We were really impressed by the bike-sharing model,” he said.

Although it costs the company about 60 yuan (US$9) for each umbrella lost, Zhao said he still plans to make 30 million of them available across the country by the end of the year.

The company was launched in April – with an investment of 10 million yuan – and by the end of last month had been rolled out to 11 cities on China’s mainland, including Shanghai, Nanjing, Guangzhou and Nanchang, the report said.
In principle, the scheme works by members of the public borrowing umbrellas – from stands located mostly at subway and bus stations – for a deposit of 19 yuan and a fee of 0.50 yuan for every 30 minutes, it said.

The report did not explain how people are meant to return the items, but instead quoted a philosophical Zhao.
“Umbrellas are different from bicycles,” he said. “Bikes can be parked anywhere, but with an umbrella you need railings or a fence to hang it on.”
Taking the brollies home was probably “best”, he said, as it meant that at least they would be “safe”.

While the concept of the sharing economy has been gathering momentum in China, Zhao’s is not the only business in the sector to be hit by a rain cloud or two.
Last month, a bicycle loan company had to close after 90 per cent of its bikes were stolen.

quote:

Every now and then, when expats get together, there comes a time when the stories come out and it plummets into a free for all of dudes trying to one up each other with their experiences with living abroad.
I've a few colorful stories, but this one is the most warped of them all.
It's actually kind of tragic and I don't think the guy who related it ever recovered from it given someone died and what happened afterwards. I've also told this story before, so some of you might recognize it from /r/ccj2 or what not.
My sister's father-in-law and mother-in-law got it into their heads that their lives would be way better if they moved to China to teach English. For the father-in-law it was great given he's a bullshit artist of the old school, he can sell ice makers to Eskimos so to speak. The mother-in-law started her own school as time went on but she came to a point she needed to get out of China.
Their first year, they worked for a University and the FiL was such a smoothie they ended up paying him a few hundred a month more to be the head-teacher. Clearly his middle-management career in the American government prepared him so well for dealing with the sort of riff raff that were teaching in China about 15 years ago.
Apparently it was an entirely different ballgame back then.
Beings he was the head-teacher, it was brought to his attention that a Canadian teacher had been diagnosed with cancer. They all got together, passed the hat, got the guy a ticket to fly back to Canada so he could get treatment. Apparently his meager wages were spent on whores and booze and he couldn't afford to fly himself home.
They have a going away bash, they tearfully wish him well, and take him to the airport where he's promptly barred from boarding the plane. Turns out his cancer was terminal and he was sick as gently caress and so sick they didn't want him dying on the flight home.
They contacted the embassy...
The university had already brought in the Canadian teacher's replacement by going down to the local backpacker's hostel and finding a white person who wanted a job. In some ways HR techniques really haven't changed all the much have they?
What this meant for the Canadian teacher was he was homeless and the University wasn't going to get involved, they did the ol' shuffle shuffle from department to department routine with deep expressions of profound sorrow, but alas.. nothing to be done today, maybe tomorrow.. next week, maybe drink more warm water?
The FiL recognized right away where this was all heading and he rang the Canadian teacher's parents. Who told him to go gently caress himself and slammed the phone down on him. He called up again and explained to the mother that their son was dying of cancer and they needed help to get him home as a nurse needed to be hired to escort him back to Canada as the airline wasn't going to allow him on the plane without a nurse. Phone was slammed down and he was told to go gently caress himself.
The Canadian embassy, which was mostly useless, put in a call to the parents . From the sounds of the grunting noises and jerking off motions my Canadian coworker makes every time he has to go there, the Canadian embassy is still useless. None the less, they put in a call to the parents got hung up on as well.
The provincial police got involved and contacted the parents and got hung up on.
All this takes time mind you and while this was going on, the Canadian teacher is in a Chinese hospital dying. The foreign teachers were playing nurse for him 24 hours a day as that's just how it goes in a Chinese hospital.
They helped poo poo, piss, eat, and bathed him.
Well.. mostly the FiL and the MiL did all that.
So finally, when the MiL was on duty, the Canadian died. The hospital was very apologetic, many noises of profound apologies were made, but could they remove the body and take it down to the morgue please?
Wait.. what?
Could they, as in two middle-aged Americans, wheel a body with a specially purchased sheet down to the morgue rather than the hospital staff?
Yes, yes, as you know this is China and things are different...
Ok.. where do we get this sheet?
Oh, for small fee, we provide..
Small fee you say..
Yes, small fee, very good sheet, never used, never will be used again..
Umm.. gently caress.. ok.
So they cover this big dead lump with a special sheet and the two of them start pushing his corpse towards the elevator. There is a huge line of people waiting and by this point the FiL has taken on a sense of mischief, perhaps this would be the only time he'd ever get a chance to do something like this?
Say dear?
Yes?
Step to the side please dear...
Ok...
RAMMING SPEED!
The door opens, and the FiL turns the gurney into a guided missile as he uses the gurney and corpse as a plow to cleave a screaming path into the elevator, which they promptly find completely emptied. The two of them and the corpse descend leaving a scene of anarchy behind them.
The very next floor, two young Chinese women and their grandmother were waiting, they took one look, and refused to get on the elevator. Their grandmother who hobbled up told them both to stop being pussies and forced them onto the elevator and even lifted the sheet a bit to get a peak at the foreigner under it. Which apparently caused the two young ladies to have a spaz attack much to the MiL and FiL's amusement.
Old people.. always great for when you need dark humor..
They get the body down to the morgue, the pay the fee to put him on ice, and then they try to go home. The hospital admin cuts them off and with great sorrow and regret points out that now deceased Canadian had run up quite a bill during his stay, could they please pay?
The MiL and FiL get out their wallets, empty them, go to the bank, drain their account, and pay the bill. I don't recall exactly how much it was, but 15 years ago it couldn't have been too horrible even with the usual foreigner mark up.
Still though.. sheesh..
So no poo poo, they call the parents again, tell them their son has died, ask them about the hospital bills and what to do about the body...
The get hung up on.. again.
The embassy calls.. they get hung up on again..
The provincial police actually sent someone out to have a word with them and they got told to go gently caress themselves..
Each day the morgue is making them pay.. the parents finally agree the body should be flown home for burial but aren't willing to pay. They want the Canadian government to pay.. but wheels turn slowly.. time passes.. the bill for the body gets a bit bigger each day..
Finally the Fil and the MiL have had enough and decide to take matters into their own hands. They get the special sheet out of storage, they go down to the morgue, pay a small fee for the use of a gurney, plop the body on it, cover it, and wheel it down a hill, across a street, up a hill, and into a line of other gurneys at a crematorium.
Long story short, they cremate the body.
Pay the morgue bill..
Buy the special box for the cremated remains..
Parents were called, again, the parents hung up again and refused to pay to fly over the remains, again.
Embassy calls the parents, gets hung up on again..
Provincial police sends someone over, gets told to gently caress off again..
So the MiL and FiL decide to spread the dude's remains in the waves at his favorite beach after a night of beers and bbq in the company of all the dude's friends. They all get down to the beach, get stupid drunk, and open the box to spread the remains to find themselves staring at a box full of ash and large bones.
The FiL suddenly realizes why it was a bad idea to get the cheaper package at the crematorium... apparently getting the bones crunched was extra...
So they go home, he goes and buys two hammers, they spread the bones out on their floor, they reduce them to rubble, and they repeat the party a week later.. mission accomplished.
MiL claimed a few years ago she can still hear the sounds of the bones being crunched with a hammer in her dreams..

quote:

Canada’s regulatory process will deter Chinese infrastructure investment, says envoy

OTTAWA – The Trudeau government’s efforts to draw in foreign cash to help fund big infrastructure projects in Canada will likely find little interest from China’s deep-pocketed investors, the country’s envoy to Ottawa says.

Ambassador Lu Shaye told The Canadian Press he doesn’t think Chinese investors will want to endure what he described as lengthy regulatory processes required for Canadian infrastructure. They would probably prefer to continue funnelling their investment dollars into regions with far fewer procedural hurdles, such as East Africa, he said. “I think it is not easy to build large-scale infrastructure in Canada — I’m afraid that Chinese investors lack patience with this process,” Lu said through an interpreter in an interview at the Chinese embassy. They’re afraid that it would take too long to build large-scale infrastructure in Canada.”

To lure more foreign investment into Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his Liberal government have pitched the country to international investors as a stable place with a skilled workforce. The government is working on a new federal agency dedicated to attracting foreign investment — the so-called Invest in Canada Hub. It also plans to build a sales force to promote Canada abroad and to hire more trade commissioners in order to focus on pulling in investment from strategic markets. Infrastructure is key to the Liberals’ long-term strategy to lift the economy and to create jobs. They have committed more than $180 billion for new projects, like bridges, railways and transit systems, over the next 11 years.

As part of the federal push to boost infrastructure investments, Ottawa is also establishing a $35-billion infrastructure bank to use public funds as a way to leverage billions more from private investors to pay for new, large-scale projects. In exchange for their financial commitments, private investors would reap steady, predictable monetary benefits such as user fees or tolls. But as the Liberals continue their quest for foreign infrastructure capital, they’re unlikely to get much investment love from China.“Maybe in Canada you have complete procedures for conducting large-scale infrastructure projects,” the Chinese ambassador said. “In China, the procedures are also complete, but those procedures go very fast. So, to complete it, a project takes less time.”

Lu brought up an example to make his point: a recent proposal to build high-speed rail corridor between Toronto and Windsor, Ont. The rail line would stretch nearly 400 kilometres and aims to be fully operational in 2031, a time frame that includes construction and regulatory processes such as environmental assessments. Its estimated cost is $20 billion. In comparison, Lu said, a recently completed Kenyan railway between Nairobi and Mombasa — mostly funded by China — took fewer than three years to build, from the planning stage to finish. He added that the project also included the construction of nine new stations along the 480-kilometre line. The $4-billion Kenyan rail project, 90 per cent of it financed by China, faced criticism and protest because of its environmental impact. It cuts through Kenya’s famed national wildlife parks and has affected the habitat of animals. Last week, a $12-million, Chinese-funded bridge collapsed in another part of Kenya, creating embarrassment for its builder and for Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta, who is running in his country’s August elections on a platform of improving its crumbling infrastructure.

Conservative foreign affairs critic Peter Kent said the Kenyan bridge collapse is an example of the failure of China’s “infrastructure diplomacy” and something the government should be wary of. “That’s not unusual given some of the Chinese government’s behaviours in the past — building infrastructure, being paid for it, and under delivering,” said Kent. Lu, however, insisted there are few investment opportunities for China in Canada at the moment. He said the weak price of oil has lowered Chinese interest in Canadian oilsands projects, leaving advanced technologies as perhaps the most-enticing opportunities. Canada and China are engaged in exploratory talks towards a free-trade agreement and Lu expects any future deal would ease restrictions on bilateral investment. China’s most-powerful business leaders have raised concerns about Canada’s regulations in the past. Several members of the exclusive China Entrepreneur Club — often described as “the billionaires club” — have called on Trudeau to open up Canadian trade and investment even wider to the Asian superpower.

Before a meeting with Trudeau last fall, club president Ma Weihua told The Canadian Press the entrepreneurs planned to press Trudeau to create “more-favourable conditions” around the government’s approval procedures to ease “excessively rigid regulations” that hold back Chinese investors. China, meanwhile, is hoping to attract infrastructure investments from Canada. Lu said there are opportunities for Canada to invest in China’s massive “One Belt, One Road” trade infrastructure initiative, which aims to connect the country to many parts of Asia, Europe and Africa via ports, rail lines and roads. “Even if Canada is not a country along the belt and road, it is also welcome to invest in this project.”

Fojar38 posted:

the government is going to let a chinese company build the toronto-windsor high speed rail route and 6 months after completion i will become the first goon killed by china when the line collapses and dumps me into hamilton harbor where i will drown in industrial waste and faeces

peanut posted:

The Australian I talked to the most was from Perth with British parents so it's hard for me to know what was Perth problems, what was England problems and what was General Australian Lies.

Kharnifex posted:

He was from Perth so it was probably all a lie.

Gromit posted:

Absolutely lied to. He probably said they had special parking for your kangaroo.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2101722/chinese-umbrella-sharing-firm-remains-upbeat-despite-losing-most

Darkman Fanpage posted:

Fauxtool posted:

poop touching, dont

Raserys posted:

I don't think you "get" it

quote:

Flight attendant breaks wine bottle over head of passenger lunging for exit



A flight attendant had to break a wine bottle over the head of a man who lunged for an exit door and fought with other passengers during a Delta Air Lines flight from Seattle to Beijing.

The passenger, Joseph Hudek, 23, from Florida, appeared in US District Court, after he was arrested on Thursday night after causing the disturbance that forced the plane to return to Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, authorities say.

Hudek has been charged with interfering with a flight crew, which carries a possible sentence of up to 20 years in prison and a $US250,000 ($A328,657) fine. He is expected to remain in custody at least until a detention hearing on July 13.

One flight attendant and a passenger were taken to a hospital after suffering severe facial injuries.

FBI special agent Caryn Highley said Hudek was sitting in the first row of the Boeing 767's first-class section. He asked a flight attendant for a beer before takeoff, and was served one, but he exhibited no sign of being intoxicated and ordered no other alcoholic drinks, the attendant told authorities.

About an hour into the flight, while the plane was over the Pacific Ocean northwest of Vancouver Island, Hudek went into the forward restroom. He came out quickly, asked the attendant a question, and went back in, the agent wrote.

When he came out again two minutes later, he suddenly lunged for the exit door, grabbed the handle and tried to open it, Highley wrote. Two attendants grabbed him, but he pushed them away, and the attendants signaled for help from several passengers and notified the cockpit by telephone, the complaint said.

Hudek punched one flight attendant twice in the face and struck at least one passenger in the head with a red dessert wine bottle, it said.

As the struggle continued, a flight attendant grabbed two wine bottles and hit Hudek over the head with each - breaking at least one of them, Highley wrote.

According to one flight attendant, "Hudek did not seem affected by the breaking of a full one litre red wine bottle over his head, and instead shouted, 'Do you know who I am?' or something to that extent," the complaint said.

One passenger got him in a head-lock, but he broke out of it, until finally several passengers held him long enough to place zip-tie restraints on him, Highley wrote. Even then he remained combative, she said, and it took multiple passengers to keep him restrained until the plane landed and Port of Seattle police arrested him.

The flight left for Beijing later Thursday night.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

http://www.smh.com.au/business/aviation/flight-attendant-breaks-wine-bottle-over-head-of-passenger-lunging-for-exit-20170708-gx79o5.html

Fauxtool posted:

please respect my 5000 pages of poop touching.

Baiting chinese people into saying dumb things is too easy and its less funny when forced

Orkin Mang posted:

getting probated by communist genesplicer is what makesthis forum great. hes a fascist pig and cruel industrialist

Tupperwarez posted:

Of all the places to take stimulants and/or forget your brain medicine, why at the beginning of a trans-Pacific flight? Oh right, Florida Man.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

When this story first came out everyone thought it was a mainlander, but it turned out to be Florida man instead:


http://www.smh.com.au/business/aviation/flight-attendant-breaks-wine-bottle-over-head-of-passenger-lunging-for-exit-20170708-gx79o5.html

genesplicer posted:

I'm not communist. I'm just left of Bernie. I like earning an above-average salary and getting long vacations. I also am not opposed to my taxes going to help people who need help.

nickmeister posted:

That umbrella idea is so incredibly stupid. Are people supposed to return the umbrella and then walk the rest of the way to their house and get wet? They just mindlessly applied the "shared" idea to some random object.

Jeoh posted:

i'm the flight attendant that smashes two wine bottles into the head of a passenger freaking out