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Agent Burt Macklin
Jul 3, 2003

Macklin, you son of a bitch

Squashy Nipples posted:

National Treasure Ben Stern lectures on ordering Coffee and KFC
Monday, June 19th, 2017
Duration 18:37

http://picosong.com/W885

SUGAR...IT'S CANDY!

I mean, at least he KNOWS he is insane in talking about this. Can you image if he ever tried a S'mores Frappuccino?

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Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006




Nap Ghost

Squashy Nipples posted:

I'm getting really loving sick of Howard's "Sheep and Wolves" rap. No, owning a gun does not make you a wolf. It's a loving moronic oversimplification of an incredibly complicated issue.

Also, he is 100% lying about "forgetting what Carly Simon told me about 'You're So Vain'". People his age loving love Carly Simon, and he was obsessed about the subject of the song for like 30 years. Her telling him privately was one of the highlights of his life, and he... forgot it? gently caress you.

That song is one hundred thousand percent about Warren Beatty and anyone who pretends otherwise is playing into her little game. Or one of the 500 people she's told 'the real truth' to over the years would have blurted it.

Even if it isn't about him, whoever it's written about - contrary to the main lyric, the song IS about him, it's all anyone talks about when they discuss the song, so what's so vain about knowing a fairly successful pop artist was so sprung on you that she had to write a butthurt song about it when she got dumped?

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

Bonzo posted:

My cousin's husband is a long time functioning alcoholic who uses hard drugs from time to time. He's only 46 but has been told he has the liver of a 75 year old man. He's go other poo poo wrong with him but they have a hard time treating him because his body is so worn out.

I've known a few people like that in my time as well. It's pretty sad. Of course Artie looks so old at this point that it's little wonder he's starting to fall apart. If he's set up for long-term antibiotics he's really got some issues, however. I can't imagine how severe the infection is.

Ether Frenzy posted:

That song is one hundred thousand percent about Warren Beatty and anyone who pretends otherwise is playing into her little game. Or one of the 500 people she's told 'the real truth' to over the years would have blurted it.

Even if it isn't about him, whoever it's written about - contrary to the main lyric, the song IS about him, it's all anyone talks about when they discuss the song, so what's so vain about knowing a fairly successful pop artist was so sprung on you that she had to write a butthurt song about it when she got dumped?

On the bright side, it is a good song. At least she made the best of that rejection and anger and at least made it a classic.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

Don't you tell me my business again.

Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

At this point he probably had a nose infection that spread, and in treating him for that doctors opened a junkie's Pandora box.

Somebody posted a recent photo about 10 pages back showing his nose looking all hosed up but I can't find it.

Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006




Nap Ghost
He looks catastrophically bad in most of the scenes he's in in Chasing, that HBO sitcom, and yet somehow his nose is the most noticeable giant bloated monstrosity.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
i feel bad for artie, its really all caught up to him

Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.
I love listening to old bits, especially with Gary, where someone says one random word and Howard keys in on it and turns it into a merciless beating for the next hour. Howard mentions Gary had a new home theater setup and Gary said "yea it has 8 seats and 3 stools" and that was all she wrote.

The Robins Taley
Apr 3, 2006

I'd bone her.

Crotch Bat posted:

I love listening to old bits, especially with Gary, where someone says one random word and Howard keys in on it and turns it into a merciless beating for the next hour. Howard mentions Gary had a new home theater setup and Gary said "yea it has 8 seats and 3 stools" and that was all she wrote.

Reesees

DeadBonesBrook
May 31, 2011

How do you do, fellow Regis?
That Gary impression is all it takes to bust on him. It doesn't matter what he says.

Gary - "I'm gonna be talking at the United Nations"

Howard - "Hey boff, Ah'm gonna be talking about vinyl at the United Nations. I hope I don't get bored".

Poor Gary.

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

BiggerBoat posted:

Somebody posted a recent photo about 10 pages back showing his nose looking all hosed up but I can't find it.

Oh geez, I wonder if he's going to have the middle part of his nose removed and just end up looking even more like a pig. I would normally laugh but the more I think about it the more horrifying it is.

Skip My Posts posted:

i feel bad for artie, its really all caught up to him

If he's really unlucky this is only the beginning. It's horrible to go out like this, but if he hangs out and slowly degrades over time...loving hell. I kinda hope it's not too late for him for turn things around or this is finally the thing that allows him to either get clean or get his poo poo together because if this is it he might hang on and it would just get worse.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Lol if Jackie outlives Artie

Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006




Nap Ghost
5/15/07, Howard is talking about how out of touch Oprah is and starts talking about college kids eating "Roman" noodles. He says it at least twice

JB50
Feb 13, 2008

euphronius posted:

Lol if Jackie outlives Artie

Its pretty much a certainty at this point isnt it?

Former Human
Oct 15, 2001

Ether Frenzy posted:

5/15/07, Howard is talking about how out of touch Oprah is and starts talking about college kids eating "Roman" noodles. He says it at least twice

Remember when they had the football pool and a chicken was a contestant... the chicken was named Sanders but Howard always read it as "Saunders," not getting that the chicken was named after Colonel Sanders from KFC. Nobody correct him and it was like nails on a chalk board every time.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Lorette.

Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.

euphronius posted:

Lol if Jackie outlives Artie

Jackie was never a hard drug user. He boozed a lot, sure, but he's also been dry more or less since he left the show if I remember right. He also never ate like Artie either.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.

Crotch Bat posted:

Jackie was never a hard drug user. He boozed a lot, sure, but he's also been dry more or less since he left the show if I remember right. He also never ate like Artie either.

I'm pretty sure Jackie quit drinking after he left the show and now has pretty much become Jack LaLanne.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
Norm reaching out to Artie

https://twitter.com/normmacdonald/status/884684387106738181

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...


Ha, some people...

https://twitter.com/Ms_MaryContrary/status/884780359979859968

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Same people would say Norm didnt even care if he handled it exclusively in private

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

drat. Norms offering to gently caress Artie for money

an adult beverage
Aug 13, 2005

1,2,3,4,5 dem gators don't take no jive. go gator -US Rep. Corrine Brown (D) FL
Cold gold makes you old well before your time!

Mr Lance Murdock
Feb 29, 2008

Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world
See pot dont make you older and pot dont make you fat, it just makes you feel real friendly and you know thats where its at!

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Moen faucets, nigga!

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

One of these days, this whole "saw a bunch of posts, thought Artie died" posts will be accurate :ohdear:

BobbyK
Jun 4, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I'm already working on my favorite memory plus mild insult to express the frustration of watching someone destroy themselves while refusing help for when he goes.

DeadBonesBrook
May 31, 2011

How do you do, fellow Regis?

BobbyK posted:

I'm already working on my favorite memory plus mild insult to express the frustration of watching someone destroy themselves while refusing help for when he goes.

I'm thinking of going with the quote from Dusk Till Dawn

"May you find the peace in death that you never had in life"

Followed by "Waaaaa I'm dead Waaaaa"

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
I'm working on some joke involving eating meatballs in heaven with Grandma Caprio.

Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.
Listening to mid-90s stuff and whenever Howard says something with "mini" in it Fred and occasionally Jackie join in repeating it in sort of a high-pitched tone. Are they imitating Ratso?

DeadBonesBrook
May 31, 2011

How do you do, fellow Regis?

Crotch Bat posted:

Listening to mid-90s stuff and whenever Howard says something with "mini" in it Fred and occasionally Jackie join in repeating it in sort of a high-pitched tone. Are they imitating Ratso?

It might be a Gina Man/Girl Girl impression. One of them used to say "mini dress" in a weird way (where it kind of sounds like mini dwess).

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

DeadBonesBrook posted:

It might be a Gina Man/Girl Girl impression. One of them used to say "mini dress" in a weird way (where it kind of sounds like mini dwess).

This is what they're doing. Also, there was a time whenever Tom Cruise would come up, they would chorus "Tom Frooze!" in that voice.

Mr Lance Murdock
Feb 29, 2008

Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world
I think I have decided that Fred's Grillo impression may be myyyyy favvvvvorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcsVlDtIASg

an adult beverage
Aug 13, 2005

1,2,3,4,5 dem gators don't take no jive. go gator -US Rep. Corrine Brown (D) FL
Fred used to play a Gina Man drop where it sounds like he was saying "mega cheese" and they would laugh hysterically every time. Anybody know what Gina man was trying to say or know what I'm talking about?

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

I think it was "Smegma-cheese"?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smegma

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."
This is mother theresa speaking from the bed I ain't dead yet I got more feet to taste.

Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.
Howard imitating his parents is probably my favorite thing ever on the show. There's just a bottomless well of material to pull from and it's all hysterical.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
How did Howard's sister turn out? Is she just as screwed up?

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Crotch Bat posted:

Howard imitating his parents is probably my favorite thing ever on the show. There's just a bottomless well of material to pull from and it's all hysterical.

Howard this is Mom, the station did a horrible thing, Tim's assistant Jared took us to a concentration camp.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

-Atom- posted:

Howard this is Mom, the station did a horrible thing, Tim's assistant Jared took us to a concentration camp.

Tim's assistant Jared put us on a rocket to the planet Krypton, where Superman is from, and we're here living under the tyranny of the red sun.

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prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Bonzo posted:

How did Howard's sister turn out? Is she just as screwed up?

I believe she's relatively normal. Howard's also said she really dislikes attention, so that's why she's only been on like one time.

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