quote:

So I recently started this job that had me go to somewhere outside of Portland, OR. The original plan was I was going to go to OR, then NYC in July for a meetup with other people.

I thought "Cool! I get to take some pictures in NYC and show all the neighsayers that I'm now going somewhere in life." (I used to be a bum)

Now the plan has changed. I got put on a few more extra big projects, which means A LOT more money. Like 6 figures a year big. However, I won't be able to return back home until Mid-August. Which sucks. Because by then, most of my friends will forget about me move on with their life. (Editor's note: OP posted this July 28th last year.)

On top of that, this is the MAIN issue. There's this girl I clicked REALLY well with, and was friends with for over 2 years. We were really close friends for a while. Then she kinda faded me out. My theory is because at the time, I wasn't going anywhere in life. She was a recovering addict and trying to get her life on the right track. Seeing I never gave her an actual reason to be mad at me, so she probably faded me out due to her needing more postive influences in her life, which I wasn't at the time.

I was going to do one last attempt to try to reconnect, by posting pictures from NYC. She might be more inclined to reconnect with me if she sees that I'm actually trying to go places. Now thhat I can't go to NYC, she won't be able to see that I'm now actually working hard in life.

I know it wasn't a 100% success rate. In fact, it was just a snow-balls chance. However, I don't wnat ot just let her go without at least making an attempt to show her. She's my soul mate, I felt it from the day I met. I don't want her to just forget about me as this lazy bum.

On top of that, I met ANOTHER cute girl shortly before I left. Which is RARE that I find a girl that I click with. So now that we barely know each other, I can't see her and she'll likely just move on to someone else.

On top of that, my social life with other people was already shakey. Because I never was around. Now I definitely won't be able to be around because I'm going to be stuck all the way across the country.

So I have two options: Don't go to New York, never be able to see this girl again at all, and be forever alone. However, I will be broke as poo poo.

OR: Make really good money, become successful. However, no more social life.

I might chose the ladder, because I'm 27 and not getting any younger. This lonliness is causing me to be bitter. I've been so bitter, I've been spouting misygonistic poo poo online all the time. I've even joined incel forums for moral support. I just wish girls will just wait for me because I'm a nice guy. I'm tired of waiting for girls to come along because it takes forever for me to find a woman that I click with. I don't want to wait another 3 years.

I'm so broken and don't know what to do.

What do you suggest I do to rekindle it with the women if I can't be back until a month later?

TL;DR: Feel isolated, but must do it for work. Would like to rekindle it with a couple of women once I get back, but don't know how.

quote:

[–]CrazyTicksThrow [S] -1 points 11 months ago

quote:

If someone likes you, they'll like you six weeks later, when you see them again.

Well, here's the issues with the two girls:

One I only went out on one date with, but we do stay in touch here and there (like once a week).

The other girl is my friend of two years. However, we haven't seen each other in months cause we both faded out. Now that I'm going somewhere in life, idk how to reconnect without showing pics from NYC or other ways to show my success. I already reached out once, but it was when I was still a bum at the time.



[–]Akavinceblack 2 points 11 months ago

I'd think pictures from Portland would be pretty drat cool, too. or just writing her a little message about what you're doing for work, and how busy you are.



[–]CrazyTicksThrow [S] -1 points 11 months ago

There's nothing really cool in Portland. No statue of liberty, etc. Where would I take a selfie infront of? Nothing I can think of.

Haifisch posted:

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Lol I'm glad families can't arrange marriages for these retards anymore.

My friend told me about his co-worker's brother who the whole family had given up on as a permanent bachelor.

Dude had a loving standing order from Domino's for a pepperoni pizza every night lmao.

Nessa posted:

Sounds like my brother. My mom gets him a pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut every day. He's 22.

quote:

I know it sounds completely ridiculous and I'm here for a reality check.

We've been married a year, together for 3 years before that. He sometimes does....things I think are just gross. Or childish, or both. Not all the time, maybe 3 or 4 times a year, enough that I've noticed but not enough that I can't deal with it. Except now I'm reconsidering.

Example, a few months ago. He gave a hotdog a "blowjob" at a party. He put ketchup, mustard and relish on it and then sucked it all off over and over. It was seriously embarrassing and the people who saw it just kind of laughed awkwardly and looked really uncomfortable.

I've realized most of the childish stuff he does involves food somehow. Our wedding went about as smoothly as you can hope a wedding can go and we had a great night... but at the dinner he tried to throw rice at me from his plate saying "isn't this how they do weddings in Asia?" And there was one time when we were dating that we were at a restaurant and he inhaled a piece of spaghetti up his nose and then swallowed it from the back of his throat....... I don't like to remember that.

Tonight I've just had a moment where I'm seriously considering the marriage because I feel really turned off by him. I bought cake earlier and put it in the fridge for my friend's birthday tomorrow night. It's a surprise party and my job was to bring a cake for everyone. But while I was out with my other friends tonight going over the plan for tomorrow, my husband at home found and ate the entire cake himself.
To be fair I realize he didn't know it wasn't for him/us because I hadn't mentioned it (I didn't see him until I came home tonight because of our work schedules). So I'm not mad at him for that. If he'd had just a regular slice of it I'd be like "oh that actually wasn't for us babe, I should have mentioned it" and bought another, nbd.

But he didn't have a normal sized piece. He ate the whole loving thing. It was a generic circular footlong cake and he ate it all in a couple hours. That's just well, disgusting. No offense to anyone who likes cake. I do too but wtf... who past middle school age wolfs down an ENTIRE CAKE? I asked him disbelieving, "Did you seriously eat the whole cake" and he just like, giggled. I didn't say anything else because I didn't know what to say.
Basically it's the kind of thing a kid would do and I guess I'm seeing him like that now, on top of all the other weird immature things he's done with food over the years.

Is this unreasonable of me? I wouldn't say I'm angry as much as just put off and like I'm a mom or a babysitter who made the mistake of turning their back for a bit on a young child.

What are my options? How should I bring it up and would couples counseling help? Other than this weird behavior with food, and trying to get him to find a better job (he's happy just working part time minimum wage bagging groceries but if we want kids in a couple years he needs to have a fulltime job but he doesn't agree), I don't have any complaints about him. He's a very loving and attentive partner. I do not want to end this relationship over something so petty as him eating a cake, but it is bothering me.

TL;DR I'm put off by my husband consuming a whole cake tonight and he has somewhat of a pattern of doing childish things with food.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Haha that black magic story is something else. I'm confused at all parties. He missed a family event because there was no one awake and he didn't want to wake someone up so they could open the door? I get not wanting to wake someone up....but usually the door to the house isn't locked from the insider, couldn't he just leave?

Haifisch posted:

Does he refuse to eat anything else, or has your mom just given up on him that hard?

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm (28F) not sure if I'm overreacting by being grossed out and annoyed at my husband (30M) for eating a cake.

quote:

he inhaled a piece of spaghetti up his nose and then swallowed it from the back of his throat

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm (28F) not sure if I'm overreacting by being grossed out and annoyed at my husband (30M) for eating a cake.

quote:

There's nothing really cool in Portland. No statue of liberty, etc. Where would I take a selfie infront of? Nothing I can think of.

quote:

I might chose the ladder, because I'm 27 and

zakharov posted:

The guy who wrote Stargirl also wrote Maniac Magee which rules, wtf

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm (28F) not sure if I'm overreacting by being grossed out and annoyed at my husband (30M) for eating a cake.

What are my options? How should I bring it up and would couples counseling help? Other than this weird behavior with food, and trying to get him to find a better job (he's happy just working part time minimum wage bagging groceries but if we want kids in a couple years he needs to have a fulltime job but he doesn't agree), I don't have any complaints about him. He's a very loving and attentive partner. I do not want to end this relationship over something so petty as him eating a cake, but it is bothering me.

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

bullshit

Liquid Communism posted:

Some people only have one good book in them, but don't stop writing.

Mirthless posted:

there are a lot of loving and attentive people out there who can be trusted with a cake for an afternoon and who don't think eating with your nose is acceptable behavior in public

before he steals all of the best years of your life and then leaves you holding the bag with the half-defective children you have together


age is literally just a number for some people

if this thread has taught us anything, it's that 6 year olds, 26 year olds, and 46 year olds can all behave exactly the same way if the toddler in question is terrible enough

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and we just recently moved in together. I've always tried to be a very chill girlfriend, because no one likes those women who go ballistic and tell their guy that he can't hang out with his friends. But lately I've noticed a pattern of two of his best friends treating me like crap. They'll talk to my boyfriend about how hot so-and-so is who they went to school with, they'll show him softcore porn, they'll talk about his ex-girlfriends, they'll talk about what pornstars they want to gently caress, all while I'm sitting right there. It's like I'm not even there. My boyfriend never participates in this stuff, he just kind of sits there and says nothing. They also say extremely rude things to me, like asking if they can take a picture of my vagina. (It's a joke, right? No harm in jokes, haha) The other night my boyfriend stepped out of the room and they started coming up with theories about what mine + my boyfriend's sex life is like. 'Oh, I bet they're into some kinky poo poo.' 'Vinyl suits' 'And handcuffs and whips, right, (me)?'

I never know how to react to this kind of behavior. I just pretend I don't hear them. Last night was like a wake-up call, because it was just rude comment after rude comment. They kept talking about girls they went to high school with and saying things like 'I bet she's got huge pepperoni nipples' and trying to get my boyfriend to join in. It's loving gross behavior and I don't want to be around it.

But it's not as if I can ask him to stop hanging out with them when I'm around, because we live together in a small apartment and except when we're at work, we're together. I don't want to try to come between him and his friends. What can I do?

tl;dr: Boyfriend's friends have disgusting attitudes toward me + women in general, it makes me really uncomfortable. Can't avoid being present when he hangs out with them. Wat do?

Nessa posted:

He will eat a handful of other things, like

French toast
Lefse (A potato flatbread)
Eggs
Bread and buns
Most meats, so long as they are plain and not prepared in a way he isn't familiar with (no seafood though)
French fries (but no mashed potatos)
Plain rice
Sprite or similar sodas
Sunny D

I think the Sunny D is the only reason he doesn't have scurvy.

As far as I know, he hasn't eaten fruit or veggies since he was 2. He used to eat everything, but he got sick with the flu and threw up a vegetable stew. My mom never made him eat anything he didn't want to, so now she buys him a pizza every day.

Nessa posted:

As far as I know, he hasn't eaten fruit or veggies since he was 2. He used to eat everything, but he got sick with the flu and threw up a vegetable stew. My mom never made him eat anything he didn't want to, so now she buys him a pizza every day.

WampaLord posted:

I had a similar thing happen with me, but thankfully it was lollipops that made me puke, thus now I hate lollipops and really don't have much of a sweet tooth in general.

Maybe it's a secret great parenting technique, overfeed your kid candy till they puke once and then hate candy forever.

Ein cooler Typ posted:

I can't believe her boyfriend is so closed-minded!

WampaLord posted:

You do not go to a wedding with another date if you're already dating someone. This is one of the firmest unwritten rules I can think of.

Ein cooler Typ posted:

I can't believe her boyfriend is so closed-minded!

Ein cooler Typ posted:

I can't believe her boyfriend is so closed-minded!

Kaptain K posted:

Super picky eaters who keep it up into adulthood are the most fascinating and terrifying and pitiable to me.

What went wrong to make them this way I always wonder

WampaLord posted:

I had a similar thing happen with me, but thankfully it was lollipops that made me puke, thus now I hate lollipops and really don't have much of a sweet tooth in general.

Maybe it's a secret great parenting technique, overfeed your kid candy till they puke once and then hate candy forever.

Nessa posted:

I think my mom thought he would just grow out of it on his own.

This is also the same mom who is a hoarder and let me go galavanting off with an older couple from another town no questions asked and no curfew, so....

Kaptain K posted:

Super picky eaters who keep it up into adulthood are the most fascinating and terrifying and pitiable to me.

What went wrong to make them this way I always wonder

Ein cooler Typ posted:

I can't believe her boyfriend is so closed-minded!

Known Lecher posted:

quote:

I wish I could say that this update was good news and that everything went smoothly. It didn't. Shortly after he woke up, I presented him with breakfast and said something along the lines of "When you have time today, and after you've woken up a bit, I'd like to talk to you about something." which was met well. Off I went to think about what I wanted to say. About an hour later, he said he was ready to talk, so we went into the living room and sat together. I stayed calm, and didn't make it a blaming and shaming situation, what I said was along the lines of "Robert, I love you, and I love what we've been building. I feel like we're at a point in our relationship where we're serious enough that I think we need to talk about nutrition. I know that you take a multivitamin, but I would like if you would go to a Doctor and make sure that you truly are getting all of the nutrients you need. I want you to be around for as long as you can be. I am also going to stop adhering to your diet, because it's not healthy for me. For my health, I need to keep vegetables, fruit, nuts, legumes and grains in the house. I will pay for this myself, and you only need to chip in for your groceries- nothing's changing for you, but this is unhealthy for me, and I need you to understand that."

He actually let me finish what I needed to say, but he proceeded to pretty much have a meltdown. He was defensive, called me some unsavory names and told me that I have no right to bring vegetables into our living space without his consent. He said that I was basically raping him, and making him feel violated. He got physical with me. He threw me into a wall, punched me repeatedly, broke my rib and proceeded to sodomize me. Through everything, he was yelling and I was crying and paralyzed with fear. It was all a blur, but the next thing I knew was my neighbor coming into our living room and pulling him off of me while saying that the police were on their way. Robert took off. Neighbor helped me get my pants on and told me not to move too much. He stayed with me through everything and we gave information to the police- he even came with me on the ambulance to the hospital. At the hospital, a rape kit was done and my rib was dealt with.

The police were able to find Robert thanks to me being a weirdo who keeps hers and her SO's license plate numbers memorized and written in my phone just in case. Charges have been filed and I got a restraining order this week. I am safe now, and moved into my own place, closer to school and work and I have my own kitchen that I can keep whatever the gently caress I want in. I feel so much more free and overall, am happier. I don't know if Robert will ever get help for his eating problems, but I am glad to say that it's no longer my concern.

tl;dr: Said I wanted to keep veggies in the house, got rib broken; broken up, moved out and happy now.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships 3.0: I have no right to bring vegetables into our living space without his consent

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like it must go along with just never having a social life. I was a bit of a picky eater in my teens cause I was raised by a single mom so I ate basically processed quick foods for a decade, but when I hit college and was living on my own/eating with friends it was hard to be the dude who was like "no tomatoes and onions" so i just adapted. I feel like you have to live in a bubble to not go beyond picky eating.

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like it must go along with just never having a social life. I was a bit of a picky eater in my teens cause I was raised by a single mom so I ate basically processed quick foods for a decade, but when I hit college and was living on my own/eating with friends it was hard to be the dude who was like "no tomatoes and onions" so i just adapted. I feel like you have to live in a bubble to not go beyond picky eating.

Inescapable Duck posted:

A bunch of allergies drastically narrowing down food options, single parent, no social life and living in isolation (either overprotective parents, self-imposed or just in the middle of goddamn nowhere) will cement a picky eating habit pretty hard. In the better-case scenarios, it'll at least include some healthy food to balance it out.