La Brea Carpet posted:

He once cursed at me and called me a child for asking him not to say I’m prettier if I smile.

LGD posted:

ahahahahahahaha


yes, usually, though they may be slightly less crazy than the average Pentecostal (or significantly more so!)

ThePeavstenator posted:

I think it's probably something like "unitarian youth bible group lead by 30 y/o in a sweater playing a guitar"

La Brea Carpet posted:

Sometimes ask a manager has a gem.

waggles posted:

HardDiskD posted:

What the gently caress.

new phone who dis posted:

I'm avoiding the 22 year old for now and taking out an internet date the same age as me this weekend instead. Feels like the right thing to do.

LGD posted:

given the situation you described, that seems prudent and likely to lead to better longer term outcomes

also maybe better shorter term outcomes

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

I am currently dating a gal exclusively, across the biggest age gap I ever have, pretty similar to new phone who dis numerically

I tell myself that since we are in similar life circumstances (divorced with kids, steady jobs, nerdy homebody dreamers with similar interested and hobbies but sober-minded about working that 9-5 to get caught up), it's less of a thing, plus I have the blessing of her parents.

In truth I am almost certainly an idiot and self-deceiving into believing my age gap is the only moral age gap and everything will end real bad.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Labia yellow kill a fellow
Labia black she banging jack

MF_James posted:

I dunno if you're DTF and she's DTF sounds like short-term things will work out very well, especially if she's crazzzzzzy.

WampaLord posted:

The idea of "crazy women are better at sex" is a dumb myth perpetuated by men to justify why they don't want to leave their dysfunctional relationships and just be single again. Plenty of sane women are just as fun/kinky.

WampaLord posted:

The idea of "crazy women are better at sex" is a dumb myth perpetuated by men

WampaLord posted:

The idea of "crazy women are better at sex" is a dumb myth perpetuated by men to justify why they don't want to leave their dysfunctional relationships and just be single again. Plenty of sane women are just as fun/kinky.

quote:

So here is the situation so far. I have had two cases where I've started normal conversations with people with the results being they got either mad or ran crying out of the room. This has come up multiple times for me and I cannot gather why.

The one situation where one of my coworkers[M24] actually told me how he felt was the most concerning. We were talking about the subject of acupuncture and I brought up how there was a study that showed that you could use a toothpick and tap people in random areas to get similar results. He then proceeded to yell at me for being a loving jerk who didn't have an open mind about anyone else's beliefs. We got a bit into a fact checking match at one point. I was able to apologize later and he admitted he disliked how I had such a definitive outlook on life.

More recently we got into the discussion of a Gaming group I was a part of. The group had been based in a store nearby, but got kicked out when the store found out that people who volunteered to run the game would get tips from the players. Note the people who volunteered to run the games rotated out.

I was talking about how its hard to find volunteers and that the $1 per player was a great incentive for people to step up. He went on to say that he didn't think that it was a good idea because not everyone has what it takes to run games. To which I replied we helped people out, taught them how to run sessions, and that the games were pretty simple to prepare(note: this is Organized Play tabletop RPG gaming). Then he got his "I'm pissed off you don't have the same views as I do" voice out, to which I changed the subject.(Note this was the same tone he had right before he yelled at me about my acupuncture comments)

The latest situation occurred at a friend's birthday party. We were playing a card game and the guy in front of me wasn't shuffling the deck of cards properly, he cut it twice in the same spot and placed it down. He did this twice during the game and I asked if I could shuffle them. I made an offhand comment about Magic players separating cards into 7 piles to randomize better.

At which point he left the party without telling anyone and seemed like he was pretty upset. Later my friend whose party it was told me the guy was extremely sensitive, and I told him I didn't realize that criticizing someone's shuffling was that insensitive. Until recently I couldn't shuffle cards at all and always passed it to a friend when it was my turn to deal.

Am I being an insensitive jerk? I can tell that some of the things I did can be considered inconsiderate, but I have never seen people react so strongly to these conversations before(well except for maybe the Acupuncture, that can be a very touchy spiritual subject).

tl;dr: So far I've ticked off a Co-worker twice about my views on acupuncture and about how a Gaming Club I was a part of tried to incentivise people to run games. And I made a friend of a friend cry because I asked if I didn't like how he was shuffling a deck of cards. Am I just a jerk or could it be that these people are just very sensitive?

Haifisch posted:

I [24M] am continuously causing people to yell, cry, and leave parties because... I don't know.

Mirthless posted:

sounds like something a sane person says to justify why they're bad in bed imo

Mirthless posted:

sounds like something a sane person says to justify why they're bad in bed imo

Haifisch posted:

I [24M] am continuously causing people to yell, cry, and leave parties because... I don't know.

Haifisch posted:

I [24M] am continuously causing people to yell, cry, and leave parties because... I don't know.

OP posted:

I don't have Asperger's. I was tested for a lot of different things as a kid but never tested positive for anything.

I fact check a lot though. I am an atheist and a skeptic. One of my favorite websites is Snopes. Just because a lot of people keep sending chain mail to me saying that Ebola is in iPhones or that there is a deadly spider living in toilets.

Yawgmoth posted:

Guy sounds like the typical "well actually" shithead that no one likes and barely puts up with in public places. The MTG thing is a dead giveaway, every shitheel who pile shuffles is an insufferable jackass triple plated in confirmation bias and dunning-kruger.

quote:

So, not sure where to post. Not sure I have processed everything either.

My wife and I are mid 30's professionals. I work in a bureaucratic industry and have, recently picked up international notoriety in my field. I have just got home from presenting as a University/Conference in Europe. I'm not anyone people outside of my industry would know. I don't mean this to boast, more to compare my disconnect with my current problem as I didn't think this was something professionals went through.

My wife is in a blue collar, male dominated, service industry. Think police officer. She is tall, strong, very domineering personality. We both met playing on our college hockey teams where she was notably the enforcer on the team. In short, my wife is tough. Our marriage has been amazing.

When I got home from Europe, she told me she wanted a divorce. She couldn't pretend being someone she is not anymore. She doesn't want to be equals. She is a kitty and she wants an owner. 24/7. She wants to meow, purr, knead, etc. She wants me to be her owner and tell her what she can and cannot do. Discipline her when she is wrong comfort her when she needs comforting.

We have experimented with BDSM lightly, ropes, spankings, blindfolds, ball gags, but this is new.

Obviously, I love her and I want our marriage to work and told her I would think about it. In my thinking, I bought her a pair of kitty ears. She cried when I gave them to her. Like, cried a lot. We had sex, where she had her largest orgasm in my recent memory for some pretty substandard sex on my part.

I guess, I am struggling with. I thought being a kitty were things 16 year olds do to find themselves not established 30' year olds with kids of their own.

Our life the last week hasn't hardly changed on her part. I didn't realize how submissive she has always been in our marriage. All I have done is start telling her, "Good kitty," when she brings me coffee while she is on shift. She likes to strip naked, wear her ears and cuddle and per while I pet her.

I guess, all I need to know is... Is this crazy. I mean, divorce isn't even in the cards, I love her. I will do anything to make be happy. I just want to make sure I am not enabling a large problem or if we are okay moving forward.

tl;dr: Wife wants to be a kitty and me her owner. I hope I am not enabling a problem.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Me [35 M] with my Wife [34 F] of 13 years, Wife wants to be a kitty and me her owner.

Mirthless posted:

I think after 13 years of marriage the only thing weird here is the guy who thinks it's childish for his wife to know what she wants out of their sex life

La Brea Carpet posted:

Me [35 M] with my Wife [34 F] of 13 years, Wife wants to be a kitty and me her owner.

WoodrowSkillson posted:

The dude banging his ex wife's mom did nothing wrong and he is a loving champion.

quote:

Hello, Reddit.

This is really awkward and embarrassing to share, but I can't think of anywhere else to get advice. I've been dating James for just over a year. We have a really good relationship and we are good with communicating any issues that we have come to, I am very much in love with him and we are happy. Now, maybe he is very comfortable with me now; which I know is a good thing, but I'm very frustrated and I don't know if it's just me. This is the only issue I have with him. He's just constantly farting and burping and it's starting to really gross me out. It feels stupid to even type that... but it's really become excessive.

We are both graduated from school and work full time, we do not live together but he is starting to move into my apartment. This started about 5 months into our relationship and it has gotten progressively worse. He will burp constantly and blow it into my face, to a point where I will start dry heaving, because he thinks it's funny. He does the same thing with farting, always trying to do it on me because he thinks it's hilarious. I know its normal, I grew up with 4 brothers, but he is constantly FORCING it to happen.

This is not once or twice. We have spent almost every night together the past 6 months, and it will happen all night. ALL night. I have asked him to please stop because I find it really gross, especially the burping because he will do it in my face and it turns my stomach and he will apologize but still continue to do it. Or lean in for a kiss and burp in my face instead, then laugh himself to the point of tears when I act disgusted.

I thought maybe, at first, he was just really gassy and I should be more understanding because it's a natural bodily function. He does not do this when we are out to dinner or with friends. A few months ago we went to a wedding together with some members of his family and he accidentally burped really loudly like he normally does when he is alone with me, and our table went really silent and glared at him. I didn't want him to be embarrassed so I highfived him and said "Good one!" and the whole table started laughing and cheering and he afterwards he pulled me aside and said he was thankful I did so, as he was humiliated but I broke the ice. I was a bit drunk and frustrated so I asked him why he does it to me constantly but he wouldn't do it in front of other people. His reasoning is that I am his girlfriend and he should be able to "play around" with me like that. That I was being a typical girl for finding it rude, uptight, high maintenance. I didn't want to argue about it, so I told him I was none of those things and he knew it -- cut the bullshit, we'll talk about it later when we're sober and just have a fun time at the party for now. And we did. But it never changes.

I've tried to make plans to be out of the house when we see each other, because even though it seems ridiculous it's starting to stress me out. I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they think it's so funny. He is a very sweet guy, I like spending time with him, but I feel nauseous when we are alone together because it's just so gross. He is starting to work longer shifts so he wants to stay in a lot most nights to relax. He started doing it during sex, as a joke, and our sex life has really suffered because of it.

A few nights ago he was texting me before he got off work, complaining about his day and he seemed really stressed out so I told him I would come over and I'll make his favorite and I'll make him forget about it. So I went over to his house and started cooking until he was off. After dinner he leaned in to kiss me, and I turned my head because I'm so used to him burping in my face. We had an argument because he was accusing me of cheating (we haven't been having sex). I told him it was because of the burping, and he said I needed to get over it, that he was only joking and I was being such a prude. That his girlfriend shouldn't reject a kiss from him yadda yadda. I told him that I've been saying this is a problem for a while, I DON'T think it's funny AT ALL. I have thrown up because of it (he started to laugh as I said that). And I just... kinda lost it. I don't really yell at people, I am a calm and collected person, so I scared him a bit. I told him it was disgusting and I am getting to the point where I'm no longer attracted to him, that I've been trying so hard to be understanding but it's a two way street. It wasn't to me about something being "gross" or "funny" any more, it was about respect.

He kind of got defensive, trying to throw in how I was overreacting, being ridiculous, but I shut it down and he apologized because he apparently didn't know I felt so strongly about it... He would try not to do it any more, at all. I don't care that it happens! I only care that he forces it. Etc.

Now, having talked it out -- for the next couple of hours he actually didn't try to burp in my face or fart on me. I was so happy I could enjoy cuddling my boyfriend without trying not to vomit. So I started unzipping his pants, to make him forget about his bad day. You already know where this is going. It's humiliating but I'm going to type it out anyway, as I was trying to blow him he pushed my head down so I couldn't get away and tensed up and started farting loudly, while laughing. I was so frustrated I started crying immediately. I think he realized he did something wrong because he let go of my head and tried to hold me and he kept say "I'm sorry, I thought you meant to do it less. I thought it was going to be funny, to break the tension from before." But I got up and left his apartment.

That was two days ago. He has tried calling me, texting me constantly. I have not responded. His messages range from being very apologetic to very angry, back and forth. I don't know what to do and I feel like this relationship is over but I still love him. I feel also, really gross and violated in a way. Our mutual friends have been texting me as well asking if everything is okay, and I've tried explaining the situation to my best friend but he found it hilarious. So I'm afraid to explain it to anyone else. This is just... so stupid. I literally feel like I'm crazy; maybe I am uptight etc. I also have a lot of his stuff over here that belongs to him and I'm worried he will come back to get it and I'll have to face him. What should I do? Am I just overreacting?

tl;dr: My boyfriend is constantly burping in my face and farting on me even though I don't find it funny, am I overreacting?

quote:

Thank you for everyone who replied to my original post, and also those who PM'd me. I wasn't really expecting as much support... but I'm glad that I'm not alone. Last night I was pretty miserable and just felt confused and sick about the whole thing. It really helped me deal with what I was feeling and rationalize, reading what everyone had written.

I just want to clear a few things up before I get into how this has climaxed for me. My boyfriend did not start out doing this constantly, I remember the first time he did it I was confused and told him right away I did not like it calmly and he seemed to understand. I have NEVER laughed when he did it purposely. I know the difference between an accident and what he does.

A lot of the replies helped me examine my relationship as a whole. We have had other problems that seem to fit the same pattern, he had the same behavior with driving very fast for fun and he had the same issue with "playfully" pinching and tickling but he was doing it so hard it would leave bruises. I always expressed that I did not like this but he was insistent that I was overreacting. When I showed him he was actually hurting me, he stopped completely and never did it since. I didn't think it was an important thing to bring up... I think it's a bit harsh to call him abusive. Because he respected that boundary.

I know a lot of people were suggesting that I do the same thing to him, or retaliate in the same way and it might sound nice to entertain that fantasy but I'm really not like that. I will never let someone elses actions define who I am as a person. I know I will never try to intentionally hurt someone and that makes me have faith in myself. A few of you made me really cry because before I wrote my post I was completely unsupported and I felt alone and.. well, really ridiculous and dumb. So thank you very much for taking the time to help me even though I'm a stranger and none of you owe me anything -- let alone your time and kindness. Thank you.

Now on to today.

I have not replied to any of James' messages. I blocked him on all devices. I feel like I basically told him was over and he knew that. I have messaged a few of our mutual friends back saying that I would really appreciate it if they would just drop it, that everything is okay with me but the relationship is over between us. A post said I didn't have to explain the situation completely, so I did that; they seemed very understanding except one replied saying "over a one time incident? Get real lol but w/e so long as you're happy" It didn't really bother me, because I know the TRUTH. It was hurtful that James may have lied, but I'd rather surround myself with people who value honesty.

I also invited my best friend over and asked him if he could help me box all of James' belongings to which he agreed right away. He kept asking me what happened, and if I was okay so I showed him this post and he was disgusted. He apologized for laughing when I had tried to tell him earlier because he said he didn't know it was so serious. He offered to take James' belongings to him, but I made him promise to not be hostile or I'd ask someone else. He agreed.

We spent a lot of the day in my apartment... when the front door opened. It's hard for me to articulate myself, but I'll try to type it exactly as it happened: We both heard it and stopped talking immediately. It was James.

I'm not going to lie, I was immediately frightened and maybe I could have handled it better but I kind of just stood there. I just didn't expect to see him, he has never showed up at my home or work without a warning. My friend asked him "What the gently caress he thinks he was doing here." James kept staring at me and ignored him saying "I thought you were dead or something, why have you been ignoring me?"

My friend stepped in front of him and handed him one of the boxes and told him he could take his stuff and leave, that it was over and I didn't want to talk to him. James laughed and made a move towards me and said I needed to talk to him alone, but my friend moved in front of him and told him that he shouldn't be in my house uninvited, that it was illegal and he was going to call the police. Then James got really mad and twisted his face all weird and I can't explain it but he started yelling and it was like he wasn't the same person at all.

He called me a slut and a oval office and said that I was some ridiculous princess and he just kept going, my friend telling him "That's nice, now you need to leave or I'm gonna make you." And then James threw down his box and punched my friend in the face. I don't remember exactly, but my friend fell back and James came up to me and he grabbed me and started shaking me saying I was stupid for throwing this all away and that I was probably sleeping with my friend. I was very afraid and I couldn't believe this was happening.

My friend got up and grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him off me and shoved him out of my apartment. James ran away down the hall kicking people's doors and screaming. My neighbor had come out of his apartment and asked what was going on and I told him to call the ambulance because my friend was bleeding from his nose, I was so embarrassed. At the hospital I kept embarrassing myself crying and apologizing to my friend while we were in the waiting room. His nose is broken, he keeps making Owen Wilson jokes/impressions, but he is okay.

Now, I am at my friends house because I am afraid to go home. he said I can stay with him for as long as I need to. I feel really awful that my friend got his nose broken because I was a bad judge of character. I also feel really guilty that I got so scared I just kind of stood there and let my friend get hurt.

My friend is taking me to the police station to file a report but I just want this whole thing to be over, but he is being insistent because I need to do this to ensure my safety. This is my first relationship and I don't even know if this person was real, I didn't think this was even possible to happen. I don't understand what I missed and I feel like I'm vibrating inside because of how frightened I am. I want to go home to my apartment but I'm afraid he will come back. The way my head is does not make any sense. I feel ashamed even writing all of this because it was from something so small and juvenile so i don't know I'm just handling it weird or my head it blowing it completely out of proportion.

How do I proceed now, after I file a report. Has anyone been in this same situation before? How do people hide that kind of anger for over a year? Why did this happen? I'm sorry for the questions, but I just can't make sense of my own thoughts right now.

tl;dr: my ex boyfriend came to confront me and hurt my friend, how do I make him stay away and get back to normal?

quote:

Me(35) with my guy (28), two months seeing each other. We are both going through divorces. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship or dating, but we just clicked. We got very comfortable very fast.

Two weeks ago we went on a weekend away with some of his friends. Before the weekend, I felt something was off, and I got him to admit that he had hooked up with the girl in the past. I was very upset but I decided to let him take point on controlling his friend, go on the trip and keep my mouth shut (figured if i told him that this person had ulterior motives he wouldnt listen to me).

I have never been a jealous person, with my ex we had civil and friendly relationships with people we both dated. Anyways, during the trip, the girl ended up behaving very innappropiately - twerking on my guy, trying to sit on his lap while i was sitting there, close to grabbing his crotch. I was appalled but kept my mouth shut. It was bad enough that her husband (did I mentioned we were there to celebrate her husband's birthday?) told her to quit it and that she was with him not with my guy. In the meantime, im getting more upset, drinking more, my guy did try to tell her to quit it. Fast foward, my guy goes off and Im told or I understood he went on a water activity with this girl (it wasnt true, my drunk brain misunderstood). I was so pissed off and hurt and drunk that I told the husband they had hooked up. My guy is coming back and another friend told him the birthday guy was uncomfortable with how the girl was behaving, etc, etc. So we left and drove around for a while, when I woke up I went off on my guy. I had a panic attack, etc, etc. On my part, i should had told him lets go, but Im used to keeping up appearances and suck things up. Also, I didnt think he would believe me. We ended up leaving early the weekend, and things have been pretty bad between us.

He is upset I told the husband (i told him i didnt remember, and its partially true since I was drunk) and feels betrayed, he even try to blame me for it all. He is upset I told him I was not jealous and then I did get jealous. I am upset because I felt disrespected and humiliated, apparently the girl is still texting him (though he says he is not responding), and I feel like an idiot because i could had not gone, said something or not say anything.

He's asked me to slow down and get to know each other. Neither one of us wants drama, and we were incredibly happy with each other, but this whole thing has been a rude awakening. What can we do to heal? How guilty should I feel about being jealous? Why doesnt he get it how bad it makes me feel that this person is still in contact? Do I tell him that I did tell the husband?

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

TBH I got a little in my cold goony heart at "I was like, eh, got my wife whom I love some cat ears, and she was so happy she cried."

Mirthless posted:

I think after 13 years of marriage the only thing weird here is the guy who thinks it's childish for his wife to know what she wants out of their sex life

about the divorce thing tho that's a little bizarre but given this guy's reaction maybe she was worried he would never get behind anything but boring vanilla sex that wasn't doing it for her anymore?

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [25M] of 1yr is starting to gross me out and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

Just a joke quit being so uptight, ugh!

[UPDATE] My [23F] boyfriend [25M] of 1yr is starting to gross me out and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

Aaaand it turns out the childish prankster is actually a deliberate rear end in a top hat after all. Who'da thunk it.