Martha Stewart Undying posted:

how is that lady not fired

fruit on the bottom posted:

Honestly, none of the kink names are very creative. Like there was one like "mistress's tiny dick" but they're mostly just "slave" "bitch" etc.

Now actual pet names, that's a different story. Personal favorite there is one "Sparkles von Glitterpup"

Jeff Sichoe posted:

you guys do realise that like 20 years ago, saying you had a same-sex relationship would have been viewed with the same repulsion.

what i'm getting at is that there is obviously a sizable part of society who is into BDSM or wahtever the gently caress so saying they are all 'wrong' is sorta not ok?

Jeff Sichoe posted:

you guys do realise that like 20 years ago, saying you had a same-sex relationship would have been viewed with the same repulsion.

what i'm getting at is that there is obviously a sizable part of society who is into BDSM or wahtever the gently caress so saying they are all 'wrong' is sorta not ok?

quote:

I think it would be better that I post the email chain. Yes, my sister wants to use my sperm for a donor egg to be implanted in her. Names have obviously been changed. They have gone through 4 rounds of unsuccessful IVF.

Frank: Sister's husband Billy: My 2 year old son -- my wife is also pregnant with an unknown sex. Jan: My wife

Her: Hey I have a personal question for you if you don't mind my asking......

Me: Fire away

Her: Okay, I know this is sucky for me to ask and its asking a lot so no hard feelings if you say no or if Jan says no.

I know mom and dad told you we were doing infertility treatments..... again....... well I am probably too freaking old at this point and we "might" try donor eggs (if we even decide to beat our heads against more walls at all)......

I was wondering if you would be willing to donate sperm for the donor eggs?

Take as much time as you need discussing with Jan and thinking about it.

Hugs

Me: Why wouldn't you have Frank? Isn't his sperm viable?

Her: I would use Frank's too.

This last time we used half Frank sperm and half donor sperm from a cryobank.

Frank's sperm look good but you never know. Also he has the brca gene and we found out another (recessive) gene mutation so unclear if they are viable or not since his surgery.

I just wanted our family to be represented if we use donor eggs.

Me: It doesn't make sense to me not to use Frank's sperm unless it is likely they aren't viable. Can you educate me please?

Her: it would be a 50/50 split like we did this last time except to use donor eggs. last time we were both represented half of my eggs+Frank; half of my eggs+donor sperm. We don't know for sure if franks sperm are viable or not. We know they were not viable when we started this process 8 years ago (we didn't know at the time). He had a surgery that made the sperm look and act better and his counts are good. You never know if they are viable unless a pregnancy occurs (which never did).

With donor eggs for both sides of the family to be represented we would need franks sperm with 1/2 donor eggs and if you concent your sperm with 1/2 donor eggs.

Our protocol is to use 1/2 donor sperm and 1/2 frank sperm REGARDLESS of whether or not you agree to be our donor or not. I would just prefer to have both sides of the family represented rather than frank's side + random stranger.

I know its a lot to ask and if you prefer not to be our donor its all good. I know its a little odd.......

TWO DAYS GO BY WHILE I PONDER EVERYTHING

Her: Just checking that you got my response to your questions about Frank, etc. And wanted to know if you had any other questions.

Me: Some questions:

1. Why not adopt?
2. What potential future ramifications do you see of me donating?

Thanks

Her:

quote:

Why not adopt?

1). Franks cousins did the ivf thing for 8 years and went the adoption route when it didn't work. It took forever, was extremely expensive and in the end they didn't end up with a baby. The first child they were committed to had the mother change her mind at the 11th hour (I believe legally they have up to 3 days after birth to change their mind or something)

The second baby was born and the mother did give it up. However they decided against it after they discovered it had to go through crack cocaine withdrawals.

ivf eventually worked and now they have twins

2). I might as well go through a catalog of egg and sperm donors. At least with donors you have "some" medical history. It is really a suckier process than you can even imagine. Trust me.

3). Expensive

4). I have known at least 3 people who were adopted, and although they love their adopted parents they have serious issues in adult life. There is a mother/baby bond that chemically forms immediately following birth. If that is missing there are huge repercussions with relationships later. It has been well-documented scientifically.

5). If we adopt, the child is neither mine NOR Frank's. It is important for Frank and myself to have our family represented. With donor eggs if franks sperm works his side is represented at least. We always use backup donor because we don't know for sure. If you decide this is right for you then our family can be represented through you. If not, it will just be 2 strangers child genetically.

6). I think this reason might be most easily demonstrated next time you, Jan, Mom or Dad looks at Billy and sees your traits in him (physically or behaviorally).....

quote:

What potential future ramifications do you see of me donating?

It is actually more expensive (slightly) to use you as a donor. Other than that I don't know, what do you think the future ramifications would be??

Question for you: What are your concerns and reservations on donating? What are Jan's?

Me: Regarding potential ramifications, if you haven't thought of any besides financial, I'd like for you and Frank to sit down and come up with a list.

I'm not completely opposed, but I feel it needs to be thought through REALLY WELL.

Thanks.

Her: Maybe I'm not clear on what you mean by ramifications. Are you talking about using YOU as a donor or using ANY donor?

Me: I hope what I'm saying is not coming across unkind. My heart breaks for the two of you. I can't imagine how hard it has been. I just want to look at this from EVERY possible angle so everyone can make the best decision.

Me: Me as the donor.

For example, if the child ends up being from my sperm, what is told to Billy and our other child? What effect might it have on them? What do you tell you child? And what effect could it have on them?

Her: If you are referring to the process in General? We just spent 18,000 for our last ivf cycle that failed.... again. We have thought this through. We don't spend that kind of money on a whim.

Her: To be honest, it is coming across more than unkind. Now my fault for asking in email form but I figured since you were so busy you could ponder when was convenient. And, actually,it took me weeks to get up the courage to even ask you. I pussied out and sent email but seriously neither of us likes talking on phone.

Secondly, I know this isn't priority for you and you are super busy. But the nonresponse after your last line of questioning had me feel as though you forgot or I was unimportant.

Furthermore, you didn't even answer my question about whether"future ramifications" refers to YOU as donor or male donor in General..... so now I really feel like trash.

And, you are suggesting Frank and I sit down and make a list???? Wow. I am really just numb right now.

Your inner politician needs work. Sincerely, your sister

Me: Did you miss this email?

Me as the donor.

For example, if the child ends up being from my sperm, what is told to Billy and our other child? What effect might it have on them? What do you tell you child? And what effect could it have on them?"

Her: Thanks for clarification. You raise Billy. I have no say in how you raise him. I can't consider being anything but 100% honest with my child from day one. I can't fathom why it would be a secret. BUT the family tree would be HILARIOUS!

Me: You're not looking at the potential effect on the children. THAT is MY primary concern. As you say, a lot of adopted kids end up hosed up. They want to know about their biological parent and have a relationship with them.

What effect may this have on Billy and unborn baby to know that they have a half-brother or sister being raised by their aunt and uncle that their aunt gave birth to?

What effect may this have on your child to know they have half siblings being raised by their biological father and their mom is their father's sister?

tl;dr: Sister wants my sperm for donor egg to be implanted in her. No idea what to do or how to handle it.

Haifisch posted:

Nice bait. Have a long, annoyingly formatted story as a reward.

My [41 F] sister just asked me [38 M] to donate sperm for her next round of fertility and I have no idea how to handle it.

Jeff Sichoe posted:

you guys do realise that like 20 years ago, saying you had a same-sex relationship would have been viewed with the same repulsion.

what i'm getting at is that there is obviously a sizable part of society who is into BDSM or wahtever the gently caress so saying they are all 'wrong' is sorta not ok?

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

i stopped it because 1) it was cluttering up the thread 2) there wasn't that much interest and 3) it was obvious that the winner was going to be the woman who raped her kids

HardDiskD posted:

Why is his response anything other than a "no"?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Me [35 M] with my Wife [34 F] of 13 years, Wife wants to be a kitty and me her owner.

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months and things have honestly been great, we've had small issues like everyone else but we've managed to resolve them all without any true problems. That being said, after our 3rd date I asked him how many women he's slept with, albeit I was expecting a much lower number, he told me that he's slept with 11 women including me. Given his age and what he told me about his high school experience(he had one girlfriend and I didn't ask but I assumed they didn't sleep together given the nature of their relationship) I realized that he slept with all of those women in the span of 2 years. Another thing to note is that when I asked him, before he gave me his answer he said: "okay you're going to judge me big time for this". After he told me I did say that I felt uncomfortable with it, but that was it.

I personally have only slept with one other man, not including him, and that was in a LTR. I know I'm old fashioned in the sense that I haven't had any casual encounters and that I don't want any... However with that being said I still feel uneasy. I'm the first true girlfriend he's had, and from what I've gathered ours is the longest relationship that he's been in.

He loves me and I love him but honestly I'm seriously regretting how I asked in the first place, I think about it way too frequently for it to be healthy and honestly I can't stand it anymore. How can I get over this? I seriously need some help because I want this relationship to continue but can't stand this nagging feeling that all he's ever had were flings and quick one night stands. He says that they were all started with the intention of having a relationship but I feel like he said that to make himself look better, especially with how he brought up that I might judge him for it, and that he had an ongoing FWB for a some time. For a while it made me feel cheap and insecure but I've gotten better with it... I just need to get over it completely somehow.

tl;dr: I asked my boyfriend how many women he's slept with and I was shocked by the number, how do I get over it and not let it affect me anymore?

quote:

I don't care what other people consider to be a "high number" as I've repeated it's high for me and that is loving valid. I don't want people to tell me that I'm right in being insecure because I'm not, I wanted people's opinions on how to get past this. I didn't come here to have people tell me "that's not a high number" get off your high horse and read what my actual question was. And as I've replied to many people, I made a mistake asking in the first place, and I've owned up to that, I however don't need to agree with any of you that 11 is a low number because I don't agree with that at all.

zakharov posted:

Someone posted an Ask a Manager story earlier. I will now use that as an excuse to post the best AAM of all time.

my coworker wants us to call her boyfriend her “master


update: my coworker wants us to call her boyfriend her “master”

quote:

I'm sorry for the wall of text! It's pretty complicated, but at least my story's an interesting one. I'll try to sum up all this craziness for you. Please help me.

When I (20F) came back to college in September, one of my roommate's guy friends ("new guy" 20M) started paying a lot of attention to me. He would text me all the time and wanted to go everywhere together. It was weird not to see him multiple times a day. We became really close. Simultaneously, he almost completely cut my roommate out of his life. She was pissed but let it go.

Next thing I knew, things had escalated. He was touching me and cuddling up to me when we had movie nights, and at one point all six of our friends squeezed onto a futon and he made sure to be right up against me.
I knew I had to confront him, since I had been dating my boyfriend (who goes to another school) for ~5 years. When I asked new guy what he thought he was doing, he responded that he didn't know. He just wanted to be cuddle buddies. That sounded innocent enough, and I felt a little bit of a spark for him, so I thought it would be a tame way to spend time together. I was wrong.

I should mention that he had a girlfriend (of 6 months/18F) at this time, too. That was his longest relationship to date, and he complained to me about how she wouldn't satisfy him sexually (they're both virgins). I complained of the same thing (but my bf and I weren't virgins); after 5 years, stuff gets pretty routine. This evolved into a really sexual conversation and he ended up touching me in ways I didn't okay, but I went with it. I didn't want to scare him away or be too harsh.

Time passed. He kept talking to me, and we would "cuddle" (meaning he would touch me). I was alright with it to an extent, but he kept pushing it further and wouldn't even kiss me when he did it. He said kissing was "too personal" (like trying to finger me wasn't?!). Anyway, I felt lovely about the whole thing.

His relationship with his girlfriend ended (she broke up with him) and he started becoming more distant. He fooled around with me almost daily and kissed me now that he didn't have that inhibition (but I did. Again, I didn't have much of a say). He kept pushing me and pushing me, and I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend (who I loved but was just comfortable with). I felt pressured into everything, but guilty that some part of me really wanted whatever this was to go on. I only went along with it because I developed feelings for him.

Now it's a month later. I broke up with my boyfriend for what he thinks are unrelated reasons, but really I couldn't reconcile this with me being in a relationship. I feel like a lovely person (because I am). The worst part is that even before I ended that relationship, the new guy started to cut me out of his life. He never texted me unless I texted first (sometimes he wouldn't even respond), wouldn't EVER make time to see me, and couldn't care less about my feelings.

Now, we hang out on weekends in the context of our friend group, but he rarely acknowledges me or interacts with me at all. In fact, he'll aggressively flirt with anything else with a vagina within a ten-mile radius (in person or via text) before he even glances my way. I should also point out that he tried to do the same thing that he did to me to at least two of my sorority sisters and another girl (texting, sweet talking, constant attempts to hang out. don't worry, they were stronger than I was). But at the end of those nights, he'll invite himself over to my dorm room (or me to his) and, even if I explicitly say I just want to sleep or want to talk, he'll start touching me and pressuring me. I can't say no to him at this point because I crave his affection and affirmation for all the poo poo I've done. I came this far for him, and I genuinely care about him. I keep hoping this time will be different. But I can't help feeling used. Help me.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

I feel bad for her. Dude wasn't exactly getting that strong affirmative consent and it feels stockholmy.

quote:

But at the end of those nights, he'll invite himself over to my dorm room (or me to his) and, even if I explicitly say I just want to sleep or want to talk, he'll start touching me and pressuring me. I can't say no to him...[batshit tragedy follows]

WampaLord posted:

Not to victim blame or anything but I'm gonna blame the victim.

InediblePenguin posted:

quote:

So, the short of it is that I stumbled across the profile of what is indisputably my brother's girlfriend of four years, with activity within the past week. She's listed as 'owned', but also looking for friendship, a mistress or a master. She almost exclusively friends older male doms from our city.

I'm not entirely sure what the best way to go about asking my brother if he's aware and involved in this without trashing our relationship or making it harder than it needs to be. If he knows and is happy, gently caress it, I really couldn't care less what they enjoy. But I'm terrified that I might be the one to break his heart with this. I also want to maintain discretion in order to:

a. prevent her from realizing I saw her profile, which could be hurtful and embarrassing for her, and

b. trying to prevent others like my family from finding out and upsetting her and/or my brother (in the case that they're both involved and would rather it remained under wraps.)

Any suggestions at all? Should I message her, or one of the friended males? I'm pretty stumped. I just want my brother to get out of this ok and not hating me, without destroying something needlessly in the process.

TL;DR - Brother's girlfriend on fetish site, potentially connecting with other men. How do I handle this carefully?

quote:

I'm talking financially and emotionally. We live together, he has a job. I have a job. We've lived here since April and he has yet to give me any money for bills. Which is fine, I moved out on the terms that I'd be able to support myself. Key word; myself if anything were to happen to him. (he's an addict, unfortunately...)

But what's not fine is that, even with his own paychecks, (that he's telling me he's not getting it's been three months and they're "holding it" but obviously is getting paid because he's getting high everyday) he asks me for money for subs or for gas or food or whatever the excuse is that day. It's $20 here, $15 there, $5.. often. It's draining my bank account. I can't pay all the bills, buy all the food, take care of the upkeep and continue to work 40+ hours a week to have my bank account float in the same place Every. Single. Week. I make good money (for my living expenses. I should be extremely comfortable. I, myself am very good at saving money.)

For example in the next two weeks I'll bring home at least $1000, I'm a server, it varies. which SHOULD have me at $1800. However, with him needing money all the time I PROMISE after bills come out and everything, I'll still be at $800 in my bank account when I should be at $1250. And I'll more than likely dip below that because of him.

The main problem here is, and what you're probably thinking; "why can't you just say no to him?" Well I DO but he says "fine I'll just go get drugs for free hopefully I don't overdose" and well, I WATCHED him overdose on our anniversary last year he KNOWS what those words do to me as I struggled A LOT after that happened as I'm 100% straight edge I don't smoke or even drink. I'm just now beginning to be okay. He uses it against me every time I say no, therefore leading me to saying yes. Every. Single. Time.

Should I cut him off from money for EVERYTHING? He "should" be getting another paycheck on Saturday. Apparently his job is "holding it from him because his W2 form has to go through the accountants" I would've quit by now if that was true it's been three months and idek what all of his excuses are anymore but my idea is that instead of him giving me the $300 paycheck (as he owes me $1200 for bills ) is that he just "keeps" it and "buys himself everything he keeps asking me for" I can't afford to keep doing this I'm digging myself into a hole

TL;DR My addict boyfriend is draining my bank account and draining me emotionally with all of these lies, should I cut all ties of money with him?

La Brea Carpet posted:

You've come to a quarterly management meeting called *whipcrack* Gor.

WampaLord posted:

Not to victim blame or anything but she could have stopped it before they got to the "cuddle buddies" stage so my sympathy well isn't as deep as possible.

zakharov posted:

Folks, not to victim blame, but the slut was asking for it.

quote:

He just wanted to be cuddle buddies. That sounded innocent enough, and I felt a little bit of a spark for him, so I thought it would be a tame way to spend time together.

quote:

My husband owns and runs a very successful network security company. It's a small company and we employ highly skilled people. All but one of our employees have masters degrees. About a quarter have PhDs. We've been married for 6 years.

I have a very big family. Six siblings, 11 biological aunts and uncles (18 counting the spouses), 28 first cousins. The list goes on. It's not another month before someone from somewhere is looking for a job and is looking at us, thinking we can provide them. It's never been that we didn't want to put anyone to work, but nobody has ever had the right skills to even work for us.

Our family don't seem to understand what highly skilled work is like. Just a few days ago my aunt (who I love very much) was asking me if I could put her daughter's husband to work. He doesn't even have a college degree but and apparently (according to my aunt) has started to learn programming online since last month. I tried explaining to her kindly that the work we do requires a lot of relevant experience and everyone has graduate degrees and he should apply to more relevant jobs to gain experience. Her response was that he's a quick learner and he will learn everything on the job quickly. That's the mindset we're dealing with.

My husband is tired of this, and I'm kind of tired of this. This is my side of the family so I should deal with them ideally... I don't want to come off as an rear end in a top hat to everyone so I listen to them and always try to explain things kindly but doing the same thing again and again is frustrating especially as things don't change and they'll say the same thing to us a couple of months later.

I don't know how we should deal with this problem?

tl;dr: my husband and I have a successful business and everyone in my family keeps asking us to put them to work.