Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

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Jiro: Jan 13, 2004

Onmi posted:

The issue is they have no understanding of why people liked Carol Danvers in the first place.

I always liked this post.

I've been enjoying their Civil War II parody. Which is probably much better than the actual Civil War II.

This is fantastic did they do the whole of CW2? I miss the edited versions of lovely events. Bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub *beer* Snikt snikt snikt snikt bub bub *JEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANNN*

# ? Jul 14, 2017 17:24

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 22:54

Onmi: Jul 12, 2013; If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Jiro posted:

This is fantastic did they do the whole of CW2? I miss the edited versions of lovely events. Bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub *beer* Snikt snikt snikt snikt bub bub *JEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANNN*

They've done: Secret Wars (Illuminated Wars), Hickman's Avengers and are in the middle of doing Civil War II (Carol's War)

It's Illuminating Comics. There's also Unxanny Rewrites which was doing Bendis's X-Men

~~Pretty much exactly as horrifying as how it really happened. Did that ever get called out? I never read far enough~~

I always appreciate parody rewrites.

The first spread is so perfect there.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 17:49

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Onmi posted:

The issue is they have no understanding of why people liked Carol Danvers in the first place.

I always liked this post.

I've been enjoying their Civil War II parody. Which is probably much better than the actual Civil War II.

Ahahaha is this a real thing from a real issue?

Edit: it is a parody

# ? Jul 14, 2017 18:23

RandallODim: Dec 30, 2010; Another 1? Aww man...

That CWII rewrite is on the level of 4thLetter's Ultimates ones, yeah. Especially Sam, Miles & Kamala there.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 19:09

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

galagazombie posted:

I know comic civilians (especially Marvel's) have memories so short they would make a Goldfish blush, but after Secret Empire finishes up is everyone just gonna go back to normal like nothing happened after a Nazi wizard cult ran the country for several months or California seceded and was run as a mutant supremacist state? The obvious answer is they'll just reset the universe/mindwipe everyone again but they've done that so much lately it's getting ridiculous to be invested in any story when they say it was the equivalent of "All A Dream" anytime something of consequence happens.

Steve will just wake up after a horrible nightmare as Sharon Carter gets out of the shower.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 19:10

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Jiro posted:

This is fantastic did they do the whole of CW2? I miss the edited versions of lovely events. Bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub *beer* Snikt snikt snikt snikt bub bub *JEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANNN*

"I bet Spider-Man made that woman cry!"

# ? Jul 14, 2017 19:36

RandallODim: Dec 30, 2010; Another 1? Aww man...

Wheat Loaf posted:

"I bet Spider-Man made that woman cry!"

And if Iron Man wins, he'll take away my freedom to swear.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 19:50

Teenage Fansub: Jan 28, 2006

ASM's still Slott. Rumor thing officially bupkis.
They are retreating to a "core" status quo, though.
http://ew.com/books/2017/07/14/marvel-legacy-spider-man-venom/

# ? Jul 14, 2017 21:51

howe_sam: Mar 7, 2013; Creepy little garbage eaters

Teenage Fansub posted:

ASM's still Slott. Rumor thing officially bupkis.
They are retreating to a "core" status quo, though.
http://ew.com/books/2017/07/14/marvel-legacy-spider-man-venom/

Reading that, Pete's going to buy the Bugle isn't he?

# ? Jul 14, 2017 21:54

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

I desperately want Peter to ask Jonah to get him some coffee.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 21:55

head58: Apr 1, 2013

Lurdiak posted:

I desperately want Peter to ask Jonah to get him some coffee.

JAMESON, GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!!

# ? Jul 14, 2017 22:25

Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

head58 posted:

JAMESON, GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!!

It's everything I never knew I wanted.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 23:09

Edge & Christian: May 20, 2001; Earth-1145 is truly the best!
A world of singing, magic frogs,
high adventure, no shitposters

Teenage Fansub posted:

ASM's still Slott. Rumor thing officially bupkis.
They are retreating to a "core" status quo, though.

I mean, in the case of Spider-Man the rumor from 4Chan Guy was just repeating a rumor that Rich and other people had already reported, and there was speculation that Slott was going to be "wrapping up" and handing it over to Spencer. This obviously isn't happening as of Legacy, but some of the stuff Slott is talking about (the "back to basics" stuff) sort of screams putting the toys back into the box for the next writer, and even these quotes:

quote:

It�s all been leading to this � from Big Time, to Superior, through Spider-Verse, and the Parker Industries era. It�s been a crazy ride, but now that we�re here, we�re going to get a Peter/Spider-Man that�s closer to a core Spidey than we�ve had in years. Everything counts. Payoffs for longtime readers are coming, but the Marvel Legacy of it all will also make this a great jump on point for new readers.

We're also less than six months away (as of the launch of Legacy) from Amazing Spider-Man 800, and I could see that (after writing ASM 600 and ASM 700) being a good "capstone" or whatever to Slott's mega-run.

It's also possible they really did want to put him on a (differently titled) Spider-Man book and hand over Amazing Spider-Man to Nick Spencer for a post-Secret Empire victory lap and either Dan Slott Not Wanting to Leave or Nick Spencer's Approval Rating Being AHCA Levels may have affected the rumored plans.

I am still leaning towards 4chan dude being full of poo poo, but honestly the Spirits of Vengeance pull is more damning than this.

# ? Jul 14, 2017 23:55

X-O: Apr 28, 2002; Long Live The King!

JordanKai posted:

Marvel Legacy renumbering is wild.

Deadpool gets all of Cable & Deadpool, but Cable doesn't get Cable: Blood & Metal or Cable & X-Force. And neither of them get Deadpool/Cable: Split Second.

Split Seconds was a digital first thing that really doesn't belong in either run. Cable and X-Force should not count for Cable, it should count for X-Force. And honestly I don't think Cable/Deadpool should count for either but they already counted it when they did Deadpool #250 right before Secret Wars so that was decided long ago.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:04

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

X-O posted:

Split Seconds was a digital first thing that really doesn't belong in either run. Cable and X-Force should not count for Cable, it should count for X-Force. And honestly I don't think Cable/Deadpool should count for either but they already counted it when they did Deadpool #250 right before Secret Wars so that was decided long ago.

That became just a deadpool book after a while so it makes sense.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:18

X-O: Apr 28, 2002; Long Live The King!

Lurdiak posted:

That became just a deadpool book after a while so it makes sense.

Yeah, and aside from the Cable/Rumekistan stuff it was primarily Deadpool in the lead for the majority of the series.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:24

AlmightyBob: Sep 8, 2003

So legacy really is basically Marvel Rebirth?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:34

Teenage Fansub: Jan 28, 2006

No it's way better.

Lenticular covers.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:38

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

AlmightyBob posted:

So legacy really is basically Marvel Rebirth?

No because the creative teams are the same.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:45

Edge & Christian: May 20, 2001; Earth-1145 is truly the best!
A world of singing, magic frogs,
high adventure, no shitposters

AlmightyBob posted:

So legacy really is basically Marvel Rebirth?

what do u mean by that

?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 01:07

Rochallor: Apr 23, 2010; ふっっっっっっっっっっっっｃｋ

Putting the story arc banner on the cover is a good move to nick from Rebirth.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 01:30

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

I hope someone claims the Legacy covers are minimalist like someone did with the Rebirth covers (which are the opposite of minimalist)

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:12

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

I'm still LoLing at the Marvel lenticulars. David Gabriel did nothing but talk poo poo about DC doing them every single time they released them.

OH WAIT THEY SOLD OUT BETTER COPY EM

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:24

Onmi: Jul 12, 2013; If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

I'm sure Peter is losing Parker Industries over the Hydra cooties he got kissing Bobbi

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:40

Waffleman_: Jan 20, 2011; I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Peter Parker will get a preferred profession picking packs of pickled peppers.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:54

CAPT. Rainbowbeard: Apr 5, 2012; My incredible goodposting transcends time and space but still it cannot transform the xbone into a good console.; Lipstick Apathy

Mr Hootington posted:

Ahahaha is this a real thing from a real issue?

Edit: it is a parody

Where, uh, can I read these? I'm asking for a friend.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 07:26

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:

Where, uh, can I read these? I'm asking for a friend.

The Illuminating Comics tumblr.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 07:37

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Oh my god

# ? Jul 15, 2017 11:00

AlmightyBob: Sep 8, 2003

sneak peak at the next spider story

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jul 16, 2017 05:53

Clawtopsy: Dec 17, 2009; What a fascinatingly unusual cock. Now, allow me to show you my collection...

AlmightyBob posted:

sneak peak at the next spider story

directed by zack snyder

# ? Jul 16, 2017 09:08

vseslav.botkin: Feb 18, 2007; Professor

howe_sam posted:

Reading that, Pete's going to buy the Bugle isn't he?

Hell yes, he's been Peter Thiel, now he's gonna be Jared Kushner.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 10:49

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

quote:

Steve Gerber: On the surface, Suburban Jersey Ninja She-Devils was about four New Jersey housewives and their yenta sensei battling a cosmic menace. Picture Carmela Soprano as a ninja, and you've got the gestalt � although the characters weren't mob wives, and the story predated The Sopranos by almost ten years.

Hidden well beneath the surface, it's a story about CompuServe's old CB Simulator � what we now call chat rooms.

brb, tracking this down

# ? Jul 18, 2017 12:51

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

I love Steve Gerber so much.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 18:15

Tato: Jun 19, 2001; DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

The Marvel solicits are out. The only thing in them I hadn't seen mentioned anywhere else is PUNISHER: THE PLATOON, a six issue mini from the MAX team of Garth Ennis and Goran Parlov. Could be good for folks who enjoyed the Ennis MAX stuff.

By the time the Punisher was born in Vietnam, Frank Castle had already become a dark legend of the battlefield. Stories about him were told in whispers, if at all. Now the legendary Punisher team of Garth Ennis and Goran Parlov (PUNISHER MAX, FURY MAX) brings the first of those stories to light: the tale of Frank Castle�s first command, and his first kill. Don�t miss this epic new series!

# ? Jul 18, 2017 20:34

sbaldrick: Jul 19, 2006; Driven by Hate

Pastry of the Year posted:

brb, tracking this down

I think I had an issue of this at one point.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 21:21

El Tortuga: Apr 27, 2007; �Terrible es el Guerrero de Tortuga!

Secret Empire was... muddled, at best.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 21:05

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

yep, turns out that was basically ninja witches versus Twitter in another case of the old Gerber ESP

Pastry of the Year fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jul 19, 2017

# ? Jul 19, 2017 21:32

Onmi: Jul 12, 2013; If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

So, Ant-Man was the traitor because Hydra got Cassie. Turns out Ulysses vision of the Hulk was what appears to be ULTIMATE Banner (He speaks with the ultimate universe font) beating up Robo-avengers.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 21:48

Manatee Cannon: Aug 26, 2010

Onmi posted:

So, Ant-Man was the traitor because Hydra got Cassie. Turns out Ulysses vision of the Hulk was what appears to be ULTIMATE Banner (He speaks with the ultimate universe font) beating up Robo-avengers.

good job, hawkeye

# ? Jul 19, 2017 21:51

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 22:54

Box wine: Apr 6, 2005; ah crap

Ultimates was fun and awesome as always, Maker gonna make.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 22:09

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

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