fruit on the bottom posted:

Man I wish we used our man councils to organize the rapes. Instead it's all about schedules and union dues and stupid bylaws and long conversations about how apparently my man cave isn't built to code and it's dragging down the whole sex JERRY ITS A WHOLE loving 1/8TH OF AN INCH DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO and then we schedule the next one.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Man I wish we used our man councils to organize the rapes. Instead it's all about schedules and union dues and stupid bylaws and long conversations about how apparently my man cave isn't built to code and it's dragging down the whole sex JERRY ITS A WHOLE loving 1/8TH OF AN INCH DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO and then we schedule the next one.

WampaLord posted:

More stories about idiots!

Me [40M] with my wife [37F] of 14 years, I got tattoos to mark the birth of my other 3 children but am not planning to do the same with this child which is making my wife upset.

Pick posted:

Look, if Hugh comes into my apartment (I was going to say "breaks in" but he still has my keys) and tries to gently caress me, I'll say "no", and that'll make it a rape, and I promise not to report it to the police, which means it's an unreported rape which is like your guys' favorite kind. So just tell him to get the hell over here ok

fruit on the bottom posted:

A guy offered me coke in a bar bathroom one time, and I was like nah and he was like ok please don't tell anyone I'm doing coke in the bathroom and I was like nah and I peed in the general direction of the toilet.

I mean, I'm pretty sure my aim was some gunslinger caliber but I was wasted as poo poo so I can't be sure.

That's my story.

Pick posted:

Look, if Hugh comes into my apartment (I was going to say "breaks in" but he still has my keys) and tries to gently caress me, I'll say "no", and that'll make it a rape, and I promise not to report it to the police, which means it's an unreported rape which is like your guys' favorite kind. So just tell him to get the hell over here ok

fruit on the bottom posted:

Actually my favorite kind are technical rapes, like where both parties run afoul of some Byzantine artifact of contract law that invalidates consent and makes them both guilty of rape.

Usually they forget to initial on page 3. It's a pain but usually easy to clear up on the paperwork.

Pick posted:

Look, if Hugh comes into my apartment (I was going to say "breaks in" but he still has my keys) and tries to gently caress me, I'll say "no", and that'll make it a rape, and I promise not to report it to the police, which means it's an unreported rape which is like your guys' favorite kind. So just tell him to get the hell over here ok

quote:

So this feels crazy to me even asking this, but I just need some kind of confirmation or perspective I'm not seeing: I live with my girlfriend. Every Friday is pizza night. We either order some Domino's or I pick up Papa Murphy's. She LOVES pizza night because during the week we are pretty strict with our diet and exercise, so Friday nights are pop/pizza/movie and it's a treat. I get off of work at 5, she gets off at 6, so if I'm picking up the pizza then I get it on the way home.

Yesterday it was my duty to pick up the pizza. I stayed after work for another 40 minutes talking to my brother about business ideas because we own our business and it's really helpful to brainstorm after we close. I work 25 minutes from the house, she works 20 minutes from the house. I ordered the pizza from Papa Murphy's (you have to bake it yourself at home for 15 minutes) at 5, and planned to leave work at 5:40 with the intent on getting the pizza and being home in time to throw it in the oven and have it be done within 5-10 minutes after she walked in the door.

Well I get the pizza, and there is a traffic accident on the freeway. It delays me 15 minutes. When I get home, which is about 2 minutes after she did, she is all, "I'm really disappointed that you didn't get the pizza here faster, you know how important it is, etc..." I explain to her that there was a traffic accident and that I planned to be here in time to have it done. She then goes on a rant saying I should have left right at 5 so that I would for sure get the pizza here in time and have it ready for her when she got home.

Keep in mind, I've brought this pizza back basically every week for the past month, and I either have it totally ready, or at least in the oven by the time she gets home. Somehow though, the times when it was just in the oven were me being late then too and she brought that up as more evidence that I'm terrible.

Anyway, I go into the bedroom to be alone so that I don't have to hear her ranting. She won't drop it though and comes in there after 5 minutes to continue bitching about her pizza and how I shouldn't be upset because she's the one that was disappointed. I tell her fine, I'm leaving for a while because I don't want to sit here and hear this after I just sat in traffic for 40 minutes getting this thing for her. She then FLIPS OUT and tells me I shouldn't come back if I'm leaving, chases me out the door and screams for me to pack my things and take them with me before I go, etc... I ignore this and tell her she is acting like a child and that it's like watching a 2 yr old have a tantrum.

I come back 3 hours later and she has a suitcase and a bag of clothes thrown out in the driveway. No texts or calls, just that.

I slept at my office and now I'm not really sure what to do here... Am I missing something here where I wasn't being sensitive? Do I just wait for an apology, and then if it isn't forthcoming, I should walk? It seems like insanity to me but maybe I'm missing something?

TLDR; GF got enraged when I was late bringing the pizza home, basically broke up with me as I walked out the door because I told her she was acting childish and I didn't want to stay and listen to that.

EDIT So I finally texted her this afternoon, and she said she was pissed because I ignored her/was acting cold after she bitched at me when I went into the bedroom to defuse the situation. I was there for under 5 minutes before she came in to continue fighting about it. When I left, she says, "I told you that if you left you could never come back. You still left." Now she says its up to me if I want to still be together. I told her that me being required to be in her presence while she rants at me is abuse, I can leave if I want to. In fact, the week prior she specifically told me I should leave for a little while when she starts acting crazy because she ends up saying things she doesn't mean. So I literally followed her advice this time, and now she says I'm basically required to stay at her side while she rages at me....Ugh, I feel like it's time to move on because I know she won't get help for this and I know it's just going to keep happening. It's just so hard because I do still love her and if she would just be willing to get help, I would have hope.

Pick posted:

i dont care how you do it just get it done

Haifisch posted:

30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?

Haifisch posted:

30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?

quote:

In fact, the week prior she specifically told me I should leave for a little while when she starts acting crazy because she ends up saying things she doesn't mean.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Lol how fat is that gf?

comment from the OP posted:

It's not just pizza that upsets her. But yeah, she has an issue with binge eating (used to eat an entire medium pizza + ice cream every friday, some other nights dinner would be a full bag of candy) and it caused her to gain 15 lbs a year ago. She has now been working hard to lose that weight.

Since she has self-control issues with food, it's really an all-or-nothing thing during the week for her. If she relaxes her diet, it turns into eating an entire bag of whatever on the couch at night. She knows this and has been working on it the last few weeks. I'm sure that adds to the anxiety when pizza is not ready on time, but still...

A Moose posted:

You used to be funny Pick...

A Moose posted:

You used to be funny Pick...

A Moose posted:

You used to be funny Pick...

Pick posted:

Look, if Hugh comes into my apartment (I was going to say "breaks in" but he still has my keys) and tries to gently caress me, I'll say "no", and that'll make it a rape, and I promise not to report it to the police, which means it's an unreported rape which is like your guys' favorite kind. So just tell him to get the hell over here ok

Pick posted:

Someday maybe again, if anything I need to start drinking again.

quote:

We have only been dating for 10 months. I know some people might say to cut my losses and run, but I don't think that is what I want. I really like Ali and could see a future together with her. She is one of the nicest girls I've ever dated and has such a kind heart, and on top of that we have so much in common. I'd like to make things work if I can, but her hang ups over sex are becoming an issue but only because she puts the blame on me for her feeling guilty or like she's let her faith and family down.

When we first started dating Ali explained to me that she was very religious and that her faith meant a lot to her. She explained that she didn't believe in premarital sex and that if I expected sex before marriage then I should just move on and find another girl. I really liked Ali and thought we might be a good match, so I decided to take a chance. For the next 8 months we didn't have sex, but we still had a great relationship. It was after that 8-month mark that she told me she was struggling with her feelings for me. She didn't want to have sex before marriage and never thought she would but it was getting more difficult for her to fight those feelings. I told her that I respected her enough not to push or take advantage of it so I was still okay with just dating her.

A few weeks later it was my birthday. Ali threw a party for me which was really nice. To make a long story short, after we left she wanted to go back to my apartment. When we got there she told me she thought we had a real chance of marriage and she wanted to have sex. I asked if she was sure and she said yes, so we did. I thought we had a good time and that everything went well, but the next day was awful. She was in tears and told me she was ashamed of what we did. I tried to make her feel better, but nothing worked. The next couple of days she was very withdrawn and short with me. I finally got her to admit that she was angry with me because I didn't refuse to have sex with her and that I "let" her do it anyway. We had a fight about this and eventually she did admit that it wasn't my fault. Things go back to normal.

The next week the same thing happens. She tells me that she really enjoyed having sex with me and wants to try it again. After what we went through I told her that I thought it wasn't a good idea in the moment and that she should make sure this is what she wants before we do anything. She tells me she is 100% sure that she wants to have sex. Eventually she convinces me and we do. Next day, same story. She is mad at me again. We rehash the same issues about her blaming me for her choice, and again we resolve things. A few days pass and she tells me that she wants to have sex again and promises not to get mad at me this time. I told her no, so nothing happened for a few days, but after she promised me over and over again that she'd be fine this time I finally gave in again. Once again she got upset. It wasn't as bad as the first two times, but it was still not pleasant.

That is where we are now. Since then she's tried to initiate a few times, but I have told her that I don't want to have sex with her again until I'm sure she's going to be okay with it. She's also upset with me for refusing, but what am I supposed to do? Several times now she's gotten so upset after we had sex, so why should I think this time will be different? I think she thinks before we have sex that she'll be fine with it and won't feel guilty but then she does once she starts to think about her faith. I think my question is mostly what do I do? Do I believe her when she says she won't be upset, or do I wait until she has more time to think about it? I also would like her to see that it's not fair to blame me or take things out on me because she feels guilty, but she says that I have to be the one to stop things (even though to be honest I do want to have sex with her and enjoy it). I'm not in a better position to stop things especially when she really...pushes for it. Or maybe this is a bad sign that our relationship isn't going to work?

tl;dr: My girlfriend is a very religious Mormon and doesn't believe in premarital sex. I respect that but she decided she wanted to have sex anyway. She then blamed me for not stopping her. We had sex again and I got blamed again. We keep repeating this pattern. I'd appreciate any advice anyone has about how to deal with this constant back and forth and to get her to stop blaming me if we have sex or to stop getting upset and pushing for sex if we don't have it.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I don't think that would be a good idea in your case

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Things this thread had taught me:
Don't date gamers
Don't date picky eaters
Don't date autists
Don't date bipolars
Don't date Vaginismusers

Blue Train posted:

well what she's doing now isn't working

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Don't date mormons

quote:

Backstory

Since we've met, my girlfriend of 9 months and I have been talking about taking a trip somewhere. I am completely open to the idea, granted the money and timing are right. Recently we identified a small 3-day window we both had off next week that would work perfectly for a quick getaway.

Our idea was a road trip up to Vancouver, Canada, as it's not far from here. After looking at the cost of parking, lodging, food, I told her that the trip seemed like it was a bit over budget. We did not discuss exact amounts, or who would pay for what. (It's not assumed that we would be splitting the bill.) We've discussed on multiple occasions over the past few months that money is getting tight, and that we needed to slow down our spending. After bringing it up again, she agreed that it could get pricey and we instead put together a plan that included a long hike, nice dinner, and time at the spa.

That night we spoke on the phone. While we were going over the plan for the getaway I could tell she was still disappointed. This was the only window in the upcoming months that we both had time to travel together, and we weren't leaving the country. I understood, but I felt like my hands are tied by my bank account. Soon after we hung up, she sent this text:

The Text

You know I'm not disappointed in you, I just am ready to start traveling the world, and I don't want to wait forever, and if we don't start, I get restless and start doing things to kill the boredom, things you don't like me doing. But I'm hoping we want the same things and money won't always hold you back...

My Position

The "things you don't like me doing" she is referring to is cocaine, which she's been off for a few months. I felt very upset after reading her text. Of course I want her to stay sober, but I feel like what she said was unfair. I feel like she's holding my feelings ransom, and manipulating me in order to get a trip.

The Question

Is she being manipulative?

Am I being stingy? I've got * in my bank account, but my rent is * and I'm only making */hr at work.

btw I tried to type this up as unbiased and realistic as possible, but I'm sure it's skewed towards my side. If there are any questions I can answer about our situation that would provide additional context please let me know...

tl;dr: gf sends what I feel is a manipulative text to get me to spend money on a trip for us

Haifisch posted:

30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?

Blue Train posted:

Durrr

I [28 M] feel like my girlfriend [38 F] is being manipulative. Could I get some unbiased eyes on this text?

u/AoraOfficial

Blue Train posted:

She is sexually abusing him

My very religious Mormon girlfriend [23F] gets upset and blames me [23M] when we have sex but if I don't want to have sex to avoid drama she gets upset and begs me until I give in.

u/drivesmecrayZ

WampaLord posted:

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Never date Mormons. Especially if you aren't Mormon yourself. It's a horrible idea with basically no upsides.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Never date Mormons. Especially if you aren't Mormon yourself. It's a horrible idea with basically no upsides.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Never date Mormons. Especially if you aren't Mormon yourself. It's a horrible idea with basically no upsides.

quote:

Yeah... speaking as a former Mormon, there are other very important conversations you should be having with her too. If her religion is this important to her, it's very likely that being married in a Mormon Temple will also be very important. (Mormons believe that this is the only way for marriages and families to stay together in the next life).

In order to be married with her in a Mormon Temple someday, you would first need to convert to the religion, obey it's rules (including the no premarital sex one), and pay 10% of your income as tithing to the church. You would have to do this during a full year's delay before the marriage itself. And when you do get married, none of your family or non-mormon friends would be able to attend the ceremony.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg, friend.

OP posted:

Wow...

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Amazingly you can condemn someone's behaviour without condoning the poo poo things people do to them. Regularly getting drunk and high is bad behaviour.

Blue Train posted:

She is sexually abusing him

My very religious Mormon girlfriend [23F] gets upset and blames me [23M] when we have sex but if I don't want to have sex to avoid drama she gets upset and begs me until I give in.

u/drivesmecrayZ