- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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My [22F] family are going to find out how much money my boyfriend [25M] makes. How do I handle this?
quote:I'm from a small European country and my boyfriend is from the US. We met while studying in London three years ago and now live together in San Francisco.
To get right to the point, my boyfriend earns a lot of money. He's not from a wealthy background so he doesn't show it off, and because property in SF costs so much we don't live in a mansion or anything. It's not immediately obvious how much he makes just from looking at him.
One thing he does spend a lot of money on though is travelling. He will always fly first class and stay in disgustingly expensive hotels. I don't mind this (I mean... It is NICE) but it does make me a little bit uncomfortable.
Where I am from we don't really have incomes as high as my boyfriend's, even the top business executives don't earn what he does, we are not a poor country we just don't have the kind of income disparity you see in the US. We are also very, I suppose humble is the right word. The idea of paying more to be treated better than other people is VERY unusual and will get people talking poorly about you.
We visit my family back home often. We will fly first class and then take a taxi to the nearest town. Then take a bus to my parents house and stay there. I always tell my family we flew economy and took busses all the way from the airport. My boyfriend goes along with this and has no problem staying on my parents couch.
Now here's the issue. My family (parents, 2 brothers, 1 brother's girlfriend) are coming to stay with us in a few weeks. They are paying for their flighs and will be staying at our house. I didn't think this would be a problem since as I said, you can't really tell how much money we have just by looking at us / how we live.
The problem is my boyfriend was taking with my brother and his girlfriend on Skype (they share an interest in a specific video game) and my boyfriend mentioned how he travels to NYC frequently for work. My brother and his girlfriend mentioned how they would love to go one day, and my boyfriend suggested making the holiday a week longer and going to NYC. They said they probably wouldn't have the money for that. My boyfriend then said he can put it down as a business expense, get a massive discount on flights and hotels, do some work while there, and everything will be fine. (Common practice in his company, not an issue in itself).
He asked me, I didn't think and said yes. My brother asked my parents, they said yes, now we're all going to NYC... gently caress.
Since its paid for though my boyfriend's work it's going to be first class flights for everyone, private drivers door to door, and $2000/night rooms.
I just know my parents are going to offer to pay for my families flights and rooms. Anything else would be incredibly rude in our culture. Then I am going to have to explain to them that they can't pay because the NYC part of the trip alone will cost more than they earn in a year?!?!
How on earth do I handle this? I talked to my boyfriend and suggested canceling NYC or doing it cheaper. He thinks I'm overreacting and that it's one thing to pretend to get a bus but another to cancel / make worse my families trip to NYC? I don't think he understands how most people from my country understand wealth.
TL;DR: My boyfriend is rich. My family don't know. They are going to fund out. In my culture people talk badly about others who earn that kind of money.
Sorry for rambling / this being long / poorly written on my phone.
Edit : Just to clarify my boyfriend co-owns the business, he will be paying for everything it just goes though the company to get business rates from airlines and hotels. He's not taking any money from the business and his friend he owns the business with is fully aware. They both do this to varying degrees often.
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Jul 18, 2017 22:39
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 12:13
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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I [18 F] was supposed to babysit my cousin [10F], but I ended up getting babysat.
This kid is wise beyond her years. OP should babysit more often and give the parents a break. She and colossus could drink beer and shoot off bottle rockets and talk about boys or whatever.
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Jul 18, 2017 22:40
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- Intruder
- Mar 5, 2003
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I got a taste for blown saves
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My [22F] family are going to find out how much money my boyfriend [25M] makes. How do I handle this?
This seems like such a weird problem to have
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Jul 18, 2017 22:43
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Can I get in trouble for emailing my porn viewing history to my MP?
larry flint sends hustler to every member of congress but knifecrime island: land of the mclibel is a very special place without concepts like a bill of rights so basically: maybe
maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jul 18, 2017
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Jul 18, 2017 22:43
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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This seems like such a weird problem to have
It reads like a fanfic problem, like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey.
"My boyfriend's fabulously wealthy, but it's a problem!"
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Jul 18, 2017 22:46
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Me [23M], my colleagues at work think my sister [26F] is my girlfriend, and I didn't correct them when I should have. What should I do now?
quote:Okay I hosed up badly. I know, I don't know what to do now since I hid the truth and I didn't reveal it when I should have.
I've been working at this place for two years. I'm kind of a loser or an awkward geek, and everybody kind of knows that about me, particularly the girls at work. I asked one of the girls out once, and she nicely and softly rejected me, but it was really awkward for a while after that so there's always that. I think they all know I've never had a girlfriend, and I always feel they're kinda gossiping behind my back and don't think I'm "cool" or whatever.
My older sister moved back in from out of town and the day she moved back in she came to pick me up from work in the afternoon. I didn't realise at the time but I can understand how they might have gotten the wrong impression she's my girlfriend.
Basically I hadn't seen her in person for months, and she came in to work wearing her business clothes, and as soon as she saw me she started crying. I wasn't expecting her to come pick me up at work but she must have wanted to see me cause it had been a while, cause as soon as she saw me she started crying and rushed up to hug me and kissed me multiple times all over my face, saying "I missed you so much, I missed you so much." Everyone else was kind of watching and when they came to say hi to her, she sort of sat on my lap with one leg and with her arms around me, and was like "how's my little man?" referring to me.
I told her I need to get my things before I head off and she said she'd go wait by the car. It was a rushed maybe minute or a minute and a half but it didn't hit me till later they got the wrong impression. One of the girls said "has anyone ever told you you two look similar?" I said "yeah, we get that a lot actually." And they were commenting on how pretty she was and seemed excited, I didn't think why, I thought they must have assumed she was my sister since I'm pretty sure I might have mentioned I have a sister. They were like "why haven't we seen or heard of her before?" I said she just got back today. Then they were like "we always told you someone would find you", I didn't realise what they meant until during the car ride back home, I was like holy poo poo they thought my sister was my girlfriend.
The next day at work they were asking me more questions about her. I tried to avoid it, but the more I delayed explaining the truth, the more I realised it would be awkward if I said it now. And plus I've never gotten this much attention from my female -co-workers. They keep asking about me and her, and I give sort of vague replies or try to avoid the questions. I even made up some clear lies, like they'd ask how long we'd been together, and I'd be like "I'm not sure, maybe a year" and they'd ask how me met, and I said "just through friends". I don't know why, but it made me feel like a god, suddenly all this attention I was getting, and everyone thinks I have a beautiful girl as my girlfriend. It's messed up, but I liked the attention.
I told my sister about what was going on and she was like "what? that's hosed up", and I told her I didn't want her to say straight away that she's my sister, but I promised to explain it to them as soon as I can. It's been like a week and a half now, and the lies have built up. I feel like I dug myself in a hole and I have no way of getting out without humiliating myself.
My sister still sometimes comes to pick me up, she just waves to them and smiles but tries not to interact with them much. I tried to put my arm on her shoulder to make it look like things were cool between us in front of my co-workers put she just pushed it off.
At home my sister's been acting normally though as though everything is fine, and I think she thinks I cleared up the issue with the co-workers. I haven't at all, and I don't think she realises that I've told them brazen lies and it's not like I can just explain it away as a simple misunderstanding.
I screwed up badly and I know I can't just let this lie be otherwise it will bite me in the rear end. What should I do? How do I explain myself without humiliating myself?
tl;dr: co-workers at work mistook my sister for my girlfriend, I kind of let them run with it and may have embellished it. I'm now in a hole and I don't know how to get myself out.
Bolded my favorite part
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Jul 18, 2017 22:46
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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Me [23M], my colleagues at work think my sister [26F] is my girlfriend, and I didn't correct them when I should have. What should I do now?
Bolded my favorite part
if george costanza had a sister
vvvvvv seinfeld is my favorite anime
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Jul 18, 2017 22:48
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Me [23M], my colleagues at work think my sister [26F] is my girlfriend, and I didn't correct them when I should have. What should I do now?
Bolded my favorite part
Someone tells him to come clean and legit this is his reply:
quote:It would probably be easier to quit my job.
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Jul 18, 2017 22:51
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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TBF at this point that's probably true because he'll never live it down after letting it go for so long.
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Jul 18, 2017 22:52
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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He should just say he broke up with her
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Jul 18, 2017 22:54
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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TBF at this point that's probably true because he'll never live it down after letting it go for so long.
and straight up lying about it
probably best for all involved if dude gets the same treatment we give dogs that won't stop humping things
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Jul 18, 2017 22:55
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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He should just say he broke up with her
Then when she comes to pick him up next and they ask why his he's still talking to his ex:
"Well I have to, she's my sister!"
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Jul 18, 2017 22:57
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- Intruder
- Mar 5, 2003
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I got a taste for blown saves
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He should probably just start dating her
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Jul 18, 2017 22:59
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- the bitcoin of weed
- Nov 1, 2014
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quote:
My sister still sometimes comes to pick me up, she just waves to them and smiles but tries not to interact with them much. I tried to put my arm on her shoulder to make it look like things were cool between us in front of my co-workers put she just pushed it off.
no loving way
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Jul 18, 2017 23:00
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Someone tells him to come clean and legit this is his reply:
i just remembered that old boy is on netflix
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Jul 18, 2017 23:04
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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I feel like it would have been a funny joke if he let it go on for a while while slowly dropping hints that she's just his sister but considering he straight up lied about because he wanted people to think he actually had a girlfriend there's no way out of it without looking like a total dufus.
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Jul 18, 2017 23:13
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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George Constanza comparison was dead on imo
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Jul 18, 2017 23:15
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Me [26 F] with my estranged husband [22 M] married a year, separated 7 months. Him and his mother put me in trunk of car. Was that... normal??
quote:Him: American Me: British
I moved to America to be with him. He got out of the military and plan was to move back to London and live here. Before leaving America for London, we stayed with his mother and her bf in NY for 3 weeks. This happened in October 2014.
STBX and I never had a good marriage anyway. If I do anything at all to annoy him in the slightest, he will start getting mad at me and yelling at me no matter where we are. If this happens in public, I normally walk away as it is incredibly embarrassing for me.
One afternoon, I had done something to piss my STBX while we were out in public. I honestly cannot remember what it was about. He started shouting at me and when I came close to him to quietly tell ask him to please stop as people were looking, he pushed me away. At this point, I just walked away. Later that evening, we went to pick his mother up from work. We were hanging outside by the car for a bit while they finished up smoking. Next thing I know, both of them picked me up and put me in the trunk of the car, and closed the trunk door. For me, it felt like it lasted about 2 minutes before he opened the trunk again but I guess that it must have only been 10-20 seconds because I'm sure it feels a lot longer when you're inside. When they let me out, his mother said to me in a 'jokey' tone, "don't you ever walk away from my son again."
I was honestly so pissed off and gobsmacked. When we got back home, STBX told me that he had not told her about our argument earlier in the day and that his mother's boyfriend must have told her, as he was with us at the time.
This keeps playing on my mind because he doesn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what happened. I suppose that it's moot now as we are divorcing but I just need to know that I'm not overreacting or being crazy about this as he always had a tendency to gaslight me.
We had a conversation about it a couple of months ago and it went like this --
C: Your mother and you put me in the trunk of a car Johnny
C: Like these things just...
J: Why do you keep bringing that up J: I did J: And i was teasing you
C: Because it was really horrible!
J: I let you right out
J: You act like i locked you in there ** **
C: I don't think that it is in any way nice for anyone to be put in a trunk of a car
C: For 5 or 10 seconds
J: Ok
J: Sorry i messaged you
J: Sorry i did that
C: No one is getting mad
J: Im getting annoyed
C: Ok
C: There u go then
J: K
C: You can talk nicely one minute and change the next. It's always like this
C: Just can't take anything I say that might be negative or against u
J: I didnt change i got anoyed. I didnt say any thing rude or nice
C: I can't express how I feel without thinking god what am I gonna do or say to piss him off
J: I was kidding when i did that ok you didn't find it funny. It was soo horrible. It was a joke. And you keep bringing ig up like if it was done 8n some cruel way
I am divorcing on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and I have to give 5 examples in my petition. I want this one to be one of them but don't want to look like an idiot if in fact the judge will think well that was obviously just a joke, get over it. And I'm really worried that if I put it in that he will contest it and end up costing me much more in lawyer's fees. How do I get through to him that this was not okay?
TL;DR: STBX and his mother put me in the trunk of the car and closed the trunk (although did not lock it, to be fair on his side of the story). Not sure if I'm right to think that is totally unacceptable and cruel behaviour or if I'm crazy for thinking so. If it was totally crazy on his part, how do I get through to him that it really was not an okay thing to do so that he doesn't contest it in divorce proceedings?
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Jul 18, 2017 23:36
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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It was just a prank bro
Yeah "He and his mother locked me in the trunk of a car" should be a pretty easy sell to any judge
NOT locked! NOT! just stuffed her in there against her consent, a position somewhere between uncomfortable and terrifying. but not locked!
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Jul 19, 2017 00:14
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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lol if you don't tell the barista about ur abortion as she hands u ur mocha
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Jul 19, 2017 00:19
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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I'm sure he's never told a white lie to strangers just to get on with his day. Not even once.
idk maybe he's one of those people who responds to "how are you" with "not great, i got diarrhea"
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Jul 19, 2017 00:19
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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My (23M) girlfriend (21F) did something I did not like (twice) even though we talked about it before. It pissed me off.
quote:Hello, everyone. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now and it's a pretty good relationship, she's a sweet girl and we get along great.
Here's what happened:
1) My house is THE spot where my friends and I hang out, basically every week we get together and drink/smoke so it didn't take long for my girlfriend to meet my friends. A few months ago when we were all hanging out (including my girlfriend) I noticed she was overly friendly with one of my friends - this did not bother me, as he is a great friend and I thought it was really sweet that she was feeling comfortable and getting along with everyone.
However, it started bothering me when she wouldn't side with me in any of my jokes (the usual making fun of everyone group dynamic) but would constantly side with my friends. I brushed it off because we're all having fun. At the end of the night, when everyone was leaving, she decided to follow one of my friends and talk to him outside, I overheard they talking about some party and she jokingly invited him to go.
This is where the problem starts, as the relationship was pretty new I decided to just leave it, hoping that she'd soon mention the invite to me or something. This started really, really bothering me eventually, as I started thinking bad things about my friend and about myself.
Anyway, we talked things out and she regretted the way she acted and told me that I shouldn't worry about this anymore.
2) This past weekend I had a big get-together with a bunch of friends (the ones she knows and a bunch more). It went great. However, she did basically the same stuff she did before with my friend, going so far as sitting near him when we were watching the grand finals of a fighting game tournament (EVO, which I watched together with her the night before).
This obviously hosed me up, as I felt she had no respect for me and basically ignored the talk we had earlier. I got pretty upsed and when everyone left she came sitting near me, which I found really annoying, even saying to her "Why would you bother sitting near me now?". I told her I was not happy and we're going to talk about it later.
In bed, she pressured me to talk and I said knew what she had done, eventually she said "was this about X?". So this is where I think I hosed up, I basically got really upset and went off on her (not name-calling or being abusive or anything like that, but I was pretty pissed, calling her childish and stuff).
She also kept thinking I have issues with the way she treats my friends and that I don't trust her, but my biggest issue is just the lack of respect and consideration she had for me.
Well, my issue is now I don't know what to think. We talked via text a while ago and she's coming later tonight to talk things out but I don't really feel like talking, she already said she was sorry (cried and all) when we talked that night.
I just don't know what to think. Thanks for reading, I don't usually share my relationship stuff with anyone so this is a little bit of venting. Sorry for wall of text.
TL;DR: GF overstepped boundaries with a buddy of mine once, we had a serious talk. She did the same thing a few months later, I got pissed and feel like she doesn't take me seriously.
quote:I don't think it's perfectly appropriated to invite someone to a party without telling me, especially someone she just met.
And she sat many times in many different places near many different people during the entire event, I'm upset she decided to sit next to someone we had had a talk about during something important to me (especially since we watched the entire thing together). Sitting near people does not upset me.
About the jokes, I don't feel like she has to side with me on every joke, but when I say the same things my friends does and she just looks at me I do feel a little bad. This is a little hard to explain, sorry.
And it was just an example, we just make light hearted fun of people.
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Jul 19, 2017 01:14
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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I've (26F) been dating a really great guy (31M) for about 2 months. Everything is wonderful but for some reason he tells people he was on 2008 Olympic soccer team (which I can't find any proof of). Is this a deal breaker?
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Jul 19, 2017 01:28
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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My (23M) girlfriend (21F) did something I did not like (twice) even though we talked about it before. It pissed me off.
I feel like OP's one paragraph away from trying to describe weighing him in water and she pulled her ponytail back only she didn't.
OP's friend is gonna pull her ponytail back if you know what i mean
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Jul 19, 2017 01:44
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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I've (26F) been dating a really great guy (31M) for about 2 months. Everything is wonderful but for some reason he tells people he was on 2008 Olympic soccer team (which I can't find any proof of). Is this a deal breaker?
i choose to believe you felt this didn't need the body because it doesn't 
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Jul 19, 2017 01:46
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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this one broke my brain a little
this guy needs to quit his job real bad
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Jul 19, 2017 02:34
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 12:13
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Jul 18, 2017 22:39
No I'm pretty sure the judge will very much want to hear about this, what the actual gently caress
, OP. 
