Ben Roethlisberger Football Douchebag of the Year Se7en

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Ben Roethlisberger Football Douchebag of the Year Se7en

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Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

I'm going to pull a Tom Brady and vote for Tom Brady instead of management, ignoring the Trump stuff, he had his friends call his wife a liar. Also for the Trump stuff, so happy Martellus Bennett got traded off that evil team.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 01:16

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# ? May 17, 2024 09:44

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

gently caress Tom Brady now and forever.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 05:17

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

To many patriots are getting eliminated so Tom Brady because gently caress the Pats and their fans.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 06:26

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Alright, here's my take.

Tom Brady is a douchebag, a douchewaffle, a douchecanoe, a doucherocket, a douchebro, a douche.

While the Chargers FO undoubted is a pile of crap, most of the problems lay in the Spanos family itself, which is currently represented elsewhere. Brady will gladly take a "pay cut" and get some kickbacks elsewhere. He's not getting a paycut, he's dodging the salary cap and Goddell won't even sniff in that direction because it involves money and not pot.

Or deflated balls. Which Tom probably has because he also insulted his own wife.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 06:31

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

seiferguy posted:

gently caress Tom Brady now and forever.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 06:34

bobjr: Oct 16, 2012; Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Tom Brady's "Well I don't see race or anything" comments plus the general "Why do people not like me?" attitude puts him over the top for me, but it is close.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 06:58

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

gently caress Tom Brady.

Saving my hate for the Spanos clan who set the standard that the front office follows.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 17:17

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Tom Brady

The Chargers front office personnel not named Spanos are fine, and the Spanos clan are represented elsewhere

# ? Jul 18, 2017 20:32

King Hong Kong: Nov 6, 2009; For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

The Spanos family is the real problem with the Chargers and Tom Brady would exceed their employees just by promoting fraudulent "health" products, let alone everything else he is a symbol for.

# ? Jul 18, 2017 20:44

Shangri-Law School: Feb 19, 2013

Thomas Edward Patrick of the House Brady, Second of His Name, Bootlicker of Management, Whore for Trump, Seller of Snake Oil, Traitor to Matrimony, Protector of Boston, King of the Douches.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:42

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Brady has pulled ahead (current vote is 28-14 in his favor) but the gap is narrow enough that I'll let this run through day 2 of voting.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:46

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

I'm not changing my vote because why bother, but thinking about it I'm not going to make a big argument for the front office when the shitbird owners are also in the running.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:54

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

The shitbird owners are up in the next vote and will have to defeat noted douchebag richard sherman. You strategic voters should keep that in mind.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 01:56

Magnetic North: Dec 15, 2008; Beware the Forest's Mushrooms

Too busy to effort post, but Tom "Avacado Ice Cream" Brady.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 03:24

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

a neat cape posted:

Tom Brady

The Chargers front office personnel not named Spanos are fine, and the Spanos clan are represented elsewhere

This should basically be the definitive word on the subject around here.

I think SA2K even likes Brady.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:09

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

a neat cape posted:

Tom Brady

The Chargers front office personnel not named Spanos are fine, and the Spanos clan are represented elsewhere

If Ross says this, then who am I to disagree?

I vote Tom Brady.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 19:02

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Grittybeard posted:

This should basically be the definitive word on the subject around here.

I think SA2K even likes Brady.

I think Brady is the best QB I've ever seen and like watching him play.

He's a douche of a person though

# ? Jul 19, 2017 19:04

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Tom Brady

# ? Jul 19, 2017 21:08

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Tom Brady Wins 31-14

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:32

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Dean Spanos and Family vs. Richard Sherman

Leperflesh posted:

Dean Spanos & Family
Dean Alexander Spanos (born May 26, 1950) is the team president and CEO of the National Football League's Los Angeles Chargers franchise, in which his father, owner Alex Spanos, purchased majority interest in 1984.

According to Forbes, in 2016 the Spanos family was worth $2.4B.

_{Meet the filthy rich Spanos clan}

Grittybeard posted:
I nominate Dean Spanos for attempting to hold a city hostage, for screwing his first round draft pick for the pettiest poo poo in his contract, and for being Dean Spanos.

Zurreco posted:
Dean Spanos for an infinite number of reasons holy poo poo I can't begin the list because it's so loving deep. Spanos is going to probably win so I'll leave this short.

aperion posted:
Just so no one forgets details months down the line:
-relocated a franchise to a market that doesn't want them
-fired their defensive coordinator via social media
-they spent a year on this?
-got their asses kicked in negotiating to use a 27k-seat stadium...by MLS
-relocated the same year LaDanian Tomlinson is eligible for the Hall of Fame, making that one awkward. Less of a douchey move, more douchey timing. Wait, no it's still both.
-burned every last bridge with San Diego and its fans in the process.

The Spanoses like to pretend the city of San Diego didn't want them, but that's a lie. SD was willing to help them with a new stadium built on the site of the old stadium... but that just wasn't good enough, Dean wanted his new stadium where he wanted it, and wasn't willing to compromise on that at all.

aperion posted:

Dean Spanos and family. Outside of the Chargers, they're worth a trailer park home, half of a dodge on blocks, and a mostly-used bottle of ketchup. Alex Spanos built a real estate fiefdom in the greater San Diego area, of which Dean and his kids have pissed away over the years, and now their only claim to anything is the Chargers and little else. They've managed their football team about as effectively as the real estate business, and now have set fire to even that. I have a desire to see the Chargers crash and burn hard in Los Angeles because of these shitheads. I don't wish the same for the players, coaches or anyone not named Spanos in the front office, so yeah, conflicted.

Anyways, Alex is a douchebag too, I'm not defending him. He just happened to be competent at something, enough to buy an NFL franchise. His kids and grandkids, not so much.

Leperflesh posted:

Richard Sherman
Richard Kevin Sherman (born March 30, 1988) is an American football cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks of the National Football League. He played college football at Stanford, both as a wide receiver and as a cornerback, and was drafted by the Seahawks in the fifth round of the 2011 NFL Draft. Since entering the league, Sherman has the most interceptions and defended passes of any active player. In May 2014, Sherman became one of the NFL's highest-paid defensive players after signing a $57.4 million contract extension, with $30 million guaranteed, with the Seahawks.

seiferguy posted:
Richard Sherman stopped doing his media chats and threatened to end a reporter's career. He's also been known to bitch at offensive coaches for questionable play calling.

I don't think that quite covers things.

Richard Sherman is a loud-mouthed trash-talking blowhard who can't shut the gently caress up. He is the absolute poster child for poor sportsmanship. Unlike guys like Berfict who just blatantly try to kill opponents on the field, Sherman compliments his excellent play with a neverending alteration between aggrieved self-pitying crybaby whining and bloviating self-aggrandizing braggadocio.

Here is a pretty thorough examination:
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/19446657/seattle-seahawks-cornerback-richard-sherman-let-go-problem-nfl-2017
Richard Sherman is so proud of himself that he trash-talks his own team-mates during practice. He blames his coach and Wilson for the superbowl loss and thinks they're not held to the same standards as the Seattle D. And he nearly got himself traded this offseason for it. Think about that: a team perennially in superbowl contention, in no small part on the strength of their defense, is open to trading away the best cornerback in the NFL because of his toxic personality.

quote:
In Week 15 against the Rams last season, Wilson was almost intercepted at the LA 1-yard line. Sherman unloaded on Carroll on the sideline. Carroll tried to calm him down. It didn't work. In the locker room afterward, Sherman heatedly talked to Carroll. "Yeah, I was letting [Carroll] know," he later told reporters. "We've seen how that goes."

Carroll followed up with a few meetings with Sherman. The coach believed that many intense, high-profile matchups had taken a toll. "He was keyed up, competing his rear end off," Carroll says. Sherman apologized to Carroll but publicly said he had no regrets. When questioned about it, he threatened to pull a reporter's press credential. Sherman was asked how he would react if an offensive player jumped on a defensive coach. "If we had something like zero blitz in the Super Bowl and got bombed for a touchdown to lose, then I'm sure [it would] be understandable," he said.

It was unbelievable: Less than three weeks before the playoffs, Sherman was bringing up the Butler interception.

Carroll tried to rally the team before the playoffs, but Sherman dismissed the effort as a routine "kumbaya" meeting. Even some of Sherman's defensive teammates privately felt he had crossed a line. At Wilson's next news conference, he opened with a canned shot at Sherman: "Don't make me take y'all's credentials, all right?"

Carroll coached Sherman in college, when he still wanted to be a WR. He personally scouted him and was responsible for his drafting. How much of a shitbag does Sherman have to be, to risk throwing away his sweetheart gig in Seattle?

Raku posted:

Richard Sherman is one of the most vocal assholes in the sport. He thinks he's somehow the only guy in the league who sees things as they really are, trash talks constantly (which is fine), then blames everybody but himself when he loses (which isn't). He threatens people's jobs when they criticize him and is a shithead to his annoying but clearly amazing quarterback.

Hot Diggity! posted:

Sherman for being a whiny baby bitch and his cheap blindside hit on Davante Adams, which made Adams trucking him over and over on a jet sweep later in the game all the better

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:37

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Spanos Family. Siding with the players over management, not to mention the move.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:40

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

How are you always the first person to vote?

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:42

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Leperflesh posted:

How are you always the first person to vote?

Magic

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:45

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Spanos family for their crimes. Do you think you're jocular being named such names as Dean and Dea. well look where you are in life now you little loving bozos. you are going to be stuck in my own personal hell called me being alive, and ill never let you go until i stop thinking about you at An unspecified time later on. you are the reason your team will never win a super bowl until before the Bengals do.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:04

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

iospace posted:

Spanos Family. Siding with the players over management, not to mention the move.

Team stealing owners are maximum douche possible. I don't care about the Chargers amd still HATE the Spanos family for that poo poo.

gently caress em forever.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:38

aperion: May 15, 2007; i want to believe; Grimey Drawer

In the last round, I put in an effortpost that ended up being a straight indictment on the Spanos family more than the Chargers front office. Anyways, yeah. Much like there being multiple Bengals entries, when all's said and done, this is the one I want to see go forward.

gently caress the Spanos family.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:49

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Spanos family. Dean Spanos is the failson of a slumlord. He's this year's perfect avatar of lovely NFL owners. I don't give a gently caress what Richard Sherman said on Twitter or whatever (I'm not even reading his entry). Spanos threw a bitchfit because San Diego wouldn't hand him hundreds of millions in free money and moved to a city that loving hates him.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:56

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Homer vote for Richard Sherman!

Nah, kidding. Spanos family, and they will probably win it all.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 02:17

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

gently caress the Spanos Family.

May they spend eternity in the sewage filled hell that is O.Co after LA rejects their asses.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 03:15

Zurreco: Dec 27, 2004; Cutty approves.

House Spanos by the longest possible shot.

Betraying a city
Leading on an entire team
Trying to share a stadium with your nortal enemies
etc etc

# ? Jul 20, 2017 17:05

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

The Spanos family.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 17:17

Peachfart: Jan 21, 2017

The Spanos family are a bunch of assholes.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 17:46

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Spanos Family

# ? Jul 20, 2017 17:48

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Spanos and his ilk

What reason should I go with? Oh, I know.

How about John Spanos praising the stubhub center's video replay boards and saying how nice it was to have modern video boards, taking shots at Qualcomm and how antiquated it was.

Then having it come out that both the city and SDSU offered and reached out multiple times to the Chargers to partner with them to update the Qualcomm video boards, which the Chargers declined every time

# ? Jul 20, 2017 17:52

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

a neat cape posted:

Spanos and his ilk

What reason should I go with? Oh, I know.

How about John Spanos praising the stubhub center's video replay boards and saying how nice it was to have modern video boards, taking shots at Qualcomm and how antiquated it was.

Then having it come out that both the city and SDSU offered and reached out multiple times to the Chargers to partner with them to update the Qualcomm video boards, which the Chargers declined every time

As another San Diegan, I concur with Ross absolutely.

Dean Spanos and Family. To the :thermidor:

with them!

# ? Jul 20, 2017 18:50

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

The Spanos family moving to LA so that they could move into a 27,000 seat MLS stadium is the funniest goddamn thing.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 19:11

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Spanos should win the tournament by universal acclaim. Slumlord's shitbird kid moves team to place nobody wants it out of spite, ends up in obviously worse situation than he started in the first place, lies about every part of it continuously, is a piece of loving poo poo on every level.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 19:43

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Alrighty well this was unanimous: Dean Spanos & Family wins 34-0 over Richard Sherman.

That's it for the Round of 16! We'll be moving on to the quarterfinals shortly. I'm inclined to not keep just quoting the same dump of info on each candidate, but I'm not sure what to do instead. Maybe just quick summaries?

e. Also for the first two rounds, I used the seeding to make the matchups. I think for the quarterfinals I'll use margins of victory as seeds. The seeding was fairly bogus anyway, given how few seconds the candidates got overall.

e2: like this:

Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Jul 21, 2017

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:28

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Man that Travis/Clark matchup is a tough one

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:36

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# ? May 17, 2024 09:44

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Good! The tough ones are the most fun. And it's also first!

Clay Travis vs. Frank Clark

Clay Travis has garbage opinions about Colin Kaepernick, among other failings.
Here he is in a lobster suit:

Frank Clark told a reporter who wrote about his domestic violence charge that she could clean his fish tank and then said sorry not sorry.
Here he is being introspective or something

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:41

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Ben Roethlisberger Football Douchebag of the Year Se7en

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