Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

WarpedNaba posted:

Startin' to think that if you put together all the WW2 movies together they'd be longer than the actual war.

I am sure something would work with the Chinese "we fight Japan and win" movies and TV shows.

Some girl I recently deleted did the usual "what r u doing now?" and I sent a photo me watching TV shows on my computer. She responded with a photo of her watching yet another China Vs. Japan war drama show, and I LOL'd and said "Chinese TV loves this topic." As ~~programmed~~ expected, she got all defensive and asked if in the US we watch these kinds of shows. I said we don't have many war dramas, but we have a lot of TV shows and war is sometimes the subject, and I didn't know because I don't watch much TV anyway. She said China was better because their TV teaches the people history, and America TV doesn't. I told her everything she's learned on those TV shows is all fake, it's just a story. She asked what I was watching, as if I was so pure. I said Modern Family, and she asked if that was the show about gays, and I said sure.

EDIT: I honestly don't plan these snipes, but I've been doing a lot of page snipes in this thread lately.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 19:55

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Grand Fromage posted:

I mean there's already people complaining that Dunkirk doesn't have enough female or minority characters.

these are the people who complain about how all the black people are slaves in movies about colonial america

Fauxtool fucked around with this message at 10:29 on Jul 24, 2017

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:26

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/chelsea-apology-kenedy-china-insults-10856199

quote:

Chelsea have again apologised to the people of China and say that they have strongly disciplined Kenedy following his insulting social media posts on Friday.
The Brazilian was booed by Chinese fans in Beijing during Saturday�s 3-0 win over Arsenal, following the emergence of two videos on social media.
One was captioned �F*** China� and another of a sleeping security guard was tagged: �Wake up China. You idiot.�
Chinese fans accused the 21-year-old of xenophobia and racism, leading to an apology from the player.

lol

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:31

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

My favorite bits in every book about China involving travel or personal reporting or whatever is the "We went to the train ticket counter, woke up the employee, then woke up the bank teller, woke up..." lines.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:37

Mistle: Oct 11, 2005; Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town; Grimey Drawer

Haier posted:

Kinda dumb when the 500ml bottles of that stuff cost half or a third of the price of the tiny ones.

One explanation, really:

MASSIVE FACE because that's pure money she's drinking

It's novel, to be sure, but not efficient.

Haier posted:

I am sure something would work with the Chinese "we fight Japan and win" movies and TV shows.

Some girl I recently deleted did the usual "what r u doing now?" and I sent a photo me watching TV shows on my computer. She responded with a photo of her watching yet another China Vs. Japan war drama show, and I LOL'd and said "Chinese TV loves this topic." As ~~programmed~~ expected, she got all defensive and asked if in the US we watch these kinds of shows. I said we don't have many war dramas, but we have a lot of TV shows and war is sometimes the subject, and I didn't know because I don't watch much TV anyway. She said China was better because their TV teaches the people history, and America TV doesn't. I told her everything she's learned on those TV shows is all fake, it's just a story. She asked what I was watching, as if I was so pure. I said Modern Family, and she asked if that was the show about gays, and I said sure.

EDIT: I honestly don't plan these snipes, but I've been doing a lot of page snipes in this thread lately.

I wonder what the production values of Chinese TV movies like that are, are they "00's Sci-Fi Channel" bad, "2am network television back in the 80's/90's" dated, decent?

The Great Autismo! posted:

lol

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:39

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

Grand Fromage posted:

My favorite bits in every book about China involving travel or personal reporting or whatever is the "We went to the train ticket counter, woke up the employee, then woke up the bank teller, woke up..." lines.

its like arriving early at the office and having to power up every appliance/light/computer as you make your way through

at 2pm

# ? Jul 24, 2017 10:51

Ewan: Sep 29, 2008; Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

Lots of Chinese people also hate the shoe-horning in of Chinese references in big Western blockbuster films. They find it pretty insulting as it implies the movie studios just think as long as it has some clumsily inserted Chinese brand/actor they'll come rushing to watch it. Independence Day 2 got slammed on the internet by 网友s for the fact the characters used QQ, and even The Martian which did it more subtly was seen as having no reason for the Chinese angle.

Obviously this is Global Times, but seems pretty accurate in terms of the feeling towards this.
http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/991371.shtml

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:00

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

It's the same sort of poo poo with studios dumbing down plots to turn every movie into a dumb CG wank 'to appeal to foreign audiences!' and foreign audiences going 'American movies sure look pretty but god the plots are dull!'

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:04

Trammel: Dec 31, 2007; .

Fojar38 posted:

Last night I had to explain to people in the D&D thread that no, China didn't invent the crossing light that shows numbers, nor did they invent assigned seating in movie theatres (!?!?)

... and then everybody in D&D was enlightened. Except not a single person claimed China invented either of those things.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:11

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Is China pandering really about enticing Chinese viewers? Or is it about ensuring that CCP peeps like it enough to give it one of the foreign movie slots.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:18

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

LimburgLimbo posted:

Is China pandering really about enticing Chinese viewers? Or is it about ensuring that CCP peeps like it enough to give it one of the foreign movie slots.

The latter

but

Chinese product placements are really dumb, fire the marketing department

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:20

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

In the Warcraft movie the main guy kills an orc with a Chinese sword. It was a bad movie.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:22

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

LimburgLimbo posted:

Is China pandering really about enticing Chinese viewers? Or is it about ensuring that CCP peeps like it enough to give it one of the foreign movie slots.

There's also the scam of a "co-production" where you partner with a Chinese movie company which does nothing, but the partnership makes it qualify as a domestic movie and avoids the foreign quota.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:24

Ewan: Sep 29, 2008; Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

LimburgLimbo posted:

Is China pandering really about enticing Chinese viewers? Or is it about ensuring that CCP peeps like it enough to give it one of the foreign movie slots.

You've also missed a third one: for product placement at least, Chinese companies will put up megabux to get their products featured. QQ IM in independence day is a mystery though - it's owned by the same company as Wechat, which is far far more popular as the go-to messaging service.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:27

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Duckbag posted:

The Godfather, but Michael's wife is a skinny Chinese actress who doesn't know what crime is.

We all know how THAT turns out...

Also, "to pander" is funny when talking about China, because it kinda sounds like "panda."

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:30

plumpy hole lever: Aug 8, 2003; ♥ Anime is real ♥

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:39

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

im not the shiniest crayon in the shed ok

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:46

Trammel: Dec 31, 2007; .

Grand Fromage posted:

There's also the scam of a "co-production" where you partner with a Chinese movie company which does nothing, but the partnership makes it qualify as a domestic movie and avoids the foreign quota.

Surely not!? Watch yourself how much Fan BingBing added to Iron Man 3 in the Chinese theatrical version. They didn't translate that part in theatres, which made it even more incomprehensible (to me).

Last year the state authorities allowed a record 39 foreign movies to be shown in China, and 89 co-productions were licensed. With the huge box office returns available, there's lots of incentive to add crap like that.

But maybe, with protectionism like that, surely the local industry must be thriving and producing amazing qualit.... .. I can't.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:48

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Man, a version of Dunkirk following women around would be sad as gently caress. Just the screams of dying wounded occasionally interrupted by the medical ship getting bombed or torpedoed

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:55

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

I've heard some theorize that they are dumbing down plots in big blockbuster movies so they translate easier to foreign audiences. Not every culture is the same, but everyone understands *is fat, falls down, farts* type humor as well as violence.

Also, Chinese titles are always annoyingly straight-forward and borderline spoilery.

"The Dark Knight" becomes "Rich White Man Dresses in Bat Costume to Fight Clown."

# ? Jul 24, 2017 11:55

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

My favorite title translations are the Japanese titles of Star Trek episodes. A LOT of them give away the ending if there's a mystery or twist. http://www.mars.dti.ne.jp/~ateban/eng_tos.html

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:10

plumpy hole lever: Aug 8, 2003; ♥ Anime is real ♥

nickmeister posted:

I've heard some theorize that they are dumbing down plots in big blockbuster movies so they translate easier to foreign audiences. Not every culture is the same, but everyone understands *is fat, falls down, farts* type humor as well as violence.

ummmm i dont think thats a theory i think its pretty much established fact at this point

everyone can get behind explosions and laser cannons and giant robots hitting each other with space swords

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:10

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

No wonder Anime is so popular.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:17

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

LentThem posted:

human flesh search is basically just 'crowdsourcing internet detectivery' from ten years ago. It was super easy in like 2009 because everyone had a RenRen or Kaixin page with all their photos and probably public, and you have an absurd number of co-students at your university. So if you just post someone's photo on a popular BBS and include a convincing story about them being a piece of poo poo, theres almost guaranteed to be at least one person who says "Oh that's my classmate/neighbor/cousin's boyfriend" and then they dump the kaixin photos and telephone number and everything

Like I remember a story about a hit-and-run where they found the guy because he had posted a ton of photos of his car w/ license plate on his RenRen page

yeah chinese doxxing was really impressive back in the day

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:21

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

English title: "The 6th Sense"

Chinese title: "Ghost Man Helps Little Boy Do Things: KAPLOWIE!!!"

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:45

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

caberham posted:

And I'm anything but your average joe you piece of poo poo. Go rot in your Eastern Canadian suburb.

Lmao what happened here?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 12:57

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Fojar38 posted:

like the last page itt china tried to claim credit for building the world's first ~~library~~ book sharing facility

How long until they run out of books?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:03

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Collateral Damage posted:

How long until they run out of books?

They can't run out of books if there weren't books in there to start with. I wonder what Chabuduo is contained inside.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:13

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

Collateral Damage posted:

How long until they run out of books?

They only get 10 percent of the books. Uncle Hao drives the delivery truck. He empties out most of the boxes and fills them with phone books from 1985 and then sells the stolen light novels (already bootlegs) on Taobao.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:22

Jimmy Little Balls: Aug 23, 2009

So I guess it's a Chinese thing and not just my girlfriend, but whenever she watches something I've seen before she will want me to tell her everything that is going to happen, or looks it up on the internet if it's something I haven't seen. She's been watching through Game of Thrones recently and she spent so much time asking me about what would happen to whoever was on screen she would miss what was being said and have no clue what was happening, she's on season 7 now so can't get it spoilered and will actually have to watch it.

In other news I only have 2 days left until I leave China.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:29

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Glenn Quebec posted:

Lmao what happened here?

You see 40 new posts in the poo poo D&D china thread, hey, maybe a funny meltdown.

Then: Pagelong argueing about absolutely asinine and uninteresting poo poo, feelings were hurt and you end up being angry at yourself for even expecting that there would be something worth your time there.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:38

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

My 6 year old does that and I say Shhh, just watch.
She does it to movies she's seen before, too.

Yes, Aladdin is going to win. Do you think he's going to win?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:41

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

I have plenty of friends who feel watching movies, tv, etc. is beneath them. So when I say, "Such and such is good" they'll ask me to tell them the basic plot and the ending so they don't have to watch it. Idgi if you're too cool to watch a movie why bother asking me to sum it up for you?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 13:56

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

nickmeister posted:

I have plenty of friends who feel watching movies, tv, etc. is beneath them. So when I say, "Such and such is good" they'll ask me to tell them the basic plot and the ending so they don't have to watch it. Idgi if you're too cool to watch a movie why bother asking me to sum it up for you?

because then you don't have to watch it

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:03

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

Glenn Quebec posted:

Lmao what happened here?

dnd leaking into gbs

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:27

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Glenn Quebec posted:

Lmao what happened here?

responding to the poster and not the content

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:41

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

I skimmed most of it, but the gist is cabe got a little butt-hurt because his manifesto on how China actually IS the future because he can use WeChat Pay to split the bill for movie tickets didn't convince Fojar.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:59

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2017/07/24/my-advice-walk-eggshells-and-avoid-trouble-altogether-pair-deported-foreigners-share

quote:

The tumultuous experience has prompted the deported American to warn other expats: �Really my advice would be to walk on eggshells. Avoid trouble altogether.�

The Canadian agrees, adding that he is having as much trouble contending with his future job prospects as having to leave to China, where he resided for a decade. He is now worried about finding other work and not being able to get references from his former employer because of his arrest and deportation. The ordeal also leads him to believe that detained expats can�t hide behind or rely on status or anything else to stave off such consequences. He says �I�m a mid-level manager at a big company, and that didn�t matter. I was also detained with a fellow Canadian that worked for a media agency, and he was cuffed and taken away.�

Chinese: "DID U DO DRUGS!???"
Foreigner: "No!"
Chinese: "WE THINK YOU DID DRUGS!"
Foreigner: "I totes swear, brah, no drugs at all. I work for a good company."
Chinese: "OK..... ... ...."

*One week later*

Chinese: "DRUG TEST, LAOWAI"
Foreigner: "RUH ROH"
Chinese: "WHAT'S ALL THIS DRUGS IN UR PEE?"
Foreigner: "Alright, I like clubs and bars and narcotics, BUT I AM REALLY UPSET YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME LOSE MY JOB AND DEPORTING ME!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE gently caress!!"

McGavin posted:

I skimmed most of it, but the gist is cabe got a little butt-hurt because his manifesto on how China actually IS the future because he can use WeChat Pay to split the bill for movie tickets didn't convince Fojar.

I just think he wanted to remind us that he is anything but an average Joe. Sometimes that kind of talk hurts, you know?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:31

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Lol being a socially stunted goon doesn't change even if you're an expat

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 19:55

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

Apparently to this guy, "walking on eggshells" = not doing pot or :catdrugs:

while openly communicating with your dealer via plaintext in one of the world's most notorious surveillance states.

JEEZ IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY ONE OF US, GUYS!!

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:48

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

«‹›933 »