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Mirthless posted:the death industry is actually kind of Fixed. gently caress the entire concept of the "death industry." Con men who sell overpriced poo poo and prey on people's grief to do it. They're the worst kind of scum.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:04
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Mirthless posted:this reminds me of a youtube channel i follow, ask a mortician Caitlin Doughty rules. Her vlogging style is a little heavy on the corniness but her videos are real interesting.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:06
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PetraCore posted:Yeah, I agree with this. Even in cases where someone isn't actually mentally ill! Like how with every time there's a mass shooting the media immediately jumps on 'so what mental illness did this person have that caused this', even when the thing that caused it is they're an rear end in a top hat who considers it appropriate to take their own issues out on unrelated people. I hate to sound like a Republican, but I've known a lot of people from a lot of walks of life, some easy and sheltered, and others grueling and miserable. What ultimately ends up distinguishing who is a bastard and who is not a bastard is not their diagnoses or their circumstances, it is whether they have decided to be a bastard. And at some point if someone decides to be a bastard, regardless of why they are a bastard, it is completely justified to treat them like the bastard they are being. I mean we can re-visit the Hugh thing (I'd honestly rather not) but I put up with incessant and extreme abusive behavior because he was physically disabled and mentally afflicted. And now that I'm away from him I'm happier than I've been in years because I don't have someone around who is always miserable and condemnatory and essentially convinced every one and every thing is awful, most certainly including me. also homemade cupcakes for some reason. Pick fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jul 31, 2017 |
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Jul 31, 2017 00:06
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WampaLord posted:Fixed. One of my friends works at a family funeral home and she really cares about having appropriate services for people in grief. She's also a goon so she can probably show up and explain it better  .
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Jul 31, 2017 00:08
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WampaLord posted:Fixed. yeah but that's what makes her channel so good, she tells you how to spot a crooked mortician and she advocates really heavily for more natural (and cheap) death options
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Jul 31, 2017 00:12
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Don't date Aspergers "Are autistic people even human? Science says no!"
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Jul 31, 2017 00:27
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fruit on the bottom posted:"Are autistic people even human? Science says no!" drat. and as we know, science is always true and religion is dumb. pack it up, spergos. it's lemming time.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:28
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fruit on the bottom posted:"Are autistic people even human? Science says no!" the "15 tips for neurotypical partners" bit is my favorite thing on the site because it's literally just a bunch of lead up to step 15 which is "leave him, because it will never get better, and it literally can't"
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Jul 31, 2017 00:33
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No one is unsalvageable, and everyone can choose to be better. However, that is the essential step of the process: the other person has to actually be compelled to change. Anyone can do that, maybe some people are more or less given to change in certain ways, but I 100% contend that any person can choose to take the hard road to becoming a better version of themselves. But yeah, you have to want to. Plenty of people of any mental condition and any gender have been bad partners the other person had to leave, because they were bad and they had no real desire to be less bad.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:35
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Pick posted:No one is unsalvageable, and everyone can choose to be better. However, that is the essential step of the process, is the other person has to actually be compelled to change. Anyone can do that, maybe some people are more or less given to change in certain ways, but I 100% contend that any person can choose to take the hard road to becoming a better version of themselves. But yeah, you have to want to. This seems right-on, and I also totally believe that these women are suffering from some pretty heavy emotional neglect even if I don't necessarily go all-in with their conclusion.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:36
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Pick posted:It's because when people, generally, get a diagnosis for a thing (and I'm not just talking aspergers) then they use it as an excuse for doing whatever poo poo they wanted to do anyway and not take responsibility for the things they can control. Yeah, but in that case isn't responding to stuff where women talk about their emotionally cut-off and self-centered male partners with 'ah, aspergers' part of the problem? Like, not this thread in specific, but just the general trend of people to go 'no, those bad behaviors are acceptable or inevitable bc [thing]'. Or is that what you're mocking with those responses? ITT I overthink jokes, sorry.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:39
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Pick posted:No one is unsalvageable, and everyone can choose to be better. However, that is the essential step of the process: the other person has to actually be compelled to change. Anyone can do that, maybe some people are more or less given to change in certain ways, but I 100% contend that any person can choose to take the hard road to becoming a better version of themselves. But yeah, you have to want to. But yeah I agree with this. Self-improvement is something that I think it's good for everyone to value, tbh, but some people really uh, need it urgently more than others.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:40
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PetraCore posted:Yeah, but in that case isn't responding to stuff where women talk about their emotionally cut-off and self-centered male partners with 'ah, aspergers' part of the problem? Like, not this thread in specific, but just the general trend of people to go 'no, those bad behaviors are acceptable or inevitable bc [thing]'. Or is that what you're mocking with those responses? my actual view on aspergers, as opposed to my GBS Hot Take©, is complicated because members of my family have it and I love them, but they also do things that are incredibly hurtful all the time. I've seen them strive to become better, and truly become better, though, so I know it is possible for them to improve but I also know it's incredibly hard, takes years if not decades, and might never get them up to the level where a "normal" person might be. for them it is hard, hard, hard, god it is so hard. but it is doable and it makes life dramatically better for everyone, including them.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:45
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my wife has nonverbal learning disorder, and her parents were mega shits and didn't get her treatment for it because they believed she could just magically function as well as anyone else because she's perfect and can do anything. she had to seek out counseling on her own, this was a couple years before we met, she still has occasional trouble with things but just by knowing her perspective is different to others and acknowledging that seems to me to be the thing that makes the most difference. most people i've known with any kind of broadly defined social disorder - including asperger's - have gotten a lot better specifically because they shunned the whole culture of "you're totally okay!" like, nobody is "totally okay", if you don't realize you have faults then you're probably an awful person. lord knows i've got some, and y'all do too. you just gotta... deal.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:45
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Pick posted:my actual view on aspergers, as opposed to my GBS Hot Take©, is complicated because members of my family have it and I love them, but they also do things that are incredibly hurtful all the time. I've seen them strive to become better, and truly become better, though, so I know it is possible for them to improve but I also know it's incredibly hard, takes years if not decades, and might never get them up to the level where a "normal" person might be. for them it is hard, hard, hard, god it is so hard. but it is doable and it makes life dramatically better for everyone, including them. I see. Thanks for answering my questions. I didn't mean to poke at sore spots.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:47
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Like I give all those harrowing stories of my parents, but it's been a long time since those things were regular behaviors (sometimes there are blow-ups but it's relatively uncommon). I don't know if it was a fair for a kid to go through those things, but it also wasn't fair how my parents were raised or the troubles they've had. So I get along with them because I get that they're always trying to do better and they have always kept gradually improving. I wouldn't have as much patience for some of the bullshit if I were walking in blind, or if they were comfortable as they are/were and didn't bother trying to refine themselves, and I don't know if I'd expect anyone else to have much patience, but it works for me .
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Jul 31, 2017 00:50
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Pick posted:No one is unsalvageable, and everyone can choose to be better. However, that is the essential step of the process: the other person has to actually be compelled to change. Anyone can do that, maybe some people are more or less given to change in certain ways, but I 100% contend that any person can choose to take the hard road to becoming a better version of themselves. But yeah, you have to want to.  i think a lot of these blogs and sites are run by/frequented by people who have a lot of guilt to spare. mental illness is one of those things where people (esp. neurotypical people) accept the interpretation of it that's the easiest for them to work with. If people with spectrum disorders are all irreparably broken and their limitations cannot be overcome due to their lack of agency, it's easier for them to accept that their relationship fell apart because of the disease (rather than the fact that the person they got together with was just a gigantic rear end in a top hat they may or may not have been enabling) the weird "he's broken, he can't help it" mentality people have wrt: the mentally ill hamstrings us so badly, when you have a mental health condition people set the bar low and try not to put a lot on your shoulders and the end result is that you spend a great deal of your life with the emotional maturity of a toddler. If nobody ever makes you grow up you never will. Mirthless fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Jul 31, 2017 |
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Jul 31, 2017 00:51
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All things held equal wouldn't you be able to argue that p much any disability makes you a worse romantic prospect than someone without? Not to try and open a can of worms here but I feel like it's a lot more kosher to write off people with mental issues as their own fault/problem than those with physical issues.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:54
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Physical and mental deficiencies are physiological manifestations of sin, so I would agree.
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Jul 31, 2017 00:57
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ArbitraryC posted:All things held equal wouldn't you be able to argue that p much any disability makes you a worse romantic prospect than someone without? Not to try and open a can of worms here but I feel like it's a lot more kosher to write off people with mental issues as their own fault/problem than those with physical issues. Ehn. I mean it depends, and part of what it depends on is the person looking for a romantic partner. Like... if you're disabled dating someone else with the same disability and symptoms can be a tricky thing especially because in a long-term relationship you're expected to help fill in the gaps for your partner, right? If both people in a relationship have trouble with a certain essential task that's going to be bad, and it can be easy to fall into co-dependency. But someone else disabled might also be more understanding about the things you struggle with because of your own disability. Not even getting into stuff like deafness and sign language and about how if you're deaf dating someone who knows sign language is probably p appealing. Unless that's one of the equal things, fluency in sign language?
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Jul 31, 2017 01:00
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ArbitraryC posted:All things held equal wouldn't you be able to argue that p much any disability makes you a worse romantic prospect than someone without? Not to try and open a can of worms here but I feel like it's a lot more kosher to write off people with mental issues as their own fault/problem than those with physical issues. There's a huge difference between "can't get out of bed because my spine is wrecked" and "can't get out of bed and bathe because of depression." In the first case, regardless of the person's disability, they have a personality and way of interacting with the world that is usually informed by their limitations but not defined by it. Just because they can't walk doesn't mean that they can't be empathetic, caring, loving partners. On the flip side, they could also be mean, narcissistic assholes who happen to be in a wheelchair. The second case is a lot harder because it does affect your ability to be with someone and even the most loving, caring person can only give so much sympathy and help before they burn out or give up.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:03
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PetraCore posted:Ehn. I mean it depends, and part of what it depends on is the person looking for a romantic partner. Like... if you're disabled dating someone else with the same disability and symptoms can be a tricky thing especially because in a long-term relationship you're expected to help fill in the gaps for your partner, right? If both people in a relationship have trouble with a certain essential task that's going to be bad, and it can be easy to fall into co-dependency. But someone else disabled might also be more understanding about the things you struggle with because of your own disability. That's probably a really bad example because "able to communicate" is a pretty major important of relationships
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Jul 31, 2017 01:04
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I (24y Female) feel like I can't meet my long term partners (24y Male) sex drive.quote:tl;dr: Feeling unable to have sex as much as my partner wants in our relationship. Relationship fine otherwise. "Waaaah my girlfriend only has sex with me 3-4 times a week, waaaaah." Like it's all about how he has an issue with her saying no (and 'gets all lovely over it' until she mollifies him), but not a mention of him considering her feelings, except in the form of complaining that she doesn't find him attractive.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:07
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Wow this is a p dumb conversation. 
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Jul 31, 2017 01:07
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PetraCore posted:I (24y Female) feel like I can't meet my long term partners (24y Male) sex drive. Jesus get a flesh light and knock it out like the rest of us when we need a rub n tug.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:16
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PetraCore posted:I (24y Female) feel like I can't meet my long term partners (24y Male) sex drive. What kind of dude doesn't understand that he can jack off to handle times like this? Though based on him acting lovely he'd probably do it in a way that was cruel to her or something.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:18
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Pick posted:my actual view on aspergers, as opposed to my GBS Hot Take©, is complicated because members of my family have it and I love them, but they also do things that are incredibly hurtful all the time. I've seen them strive to become better, and truly become better, though, so I know it is possible for them to improve but I also know it's incredibly hard, takes years if not decades, and might never get them up to the level where a "normal" person might be. for them it is hard, hard, hard, god it is so hard. but it is doable and it makes life dramatically better for everyone, including them. I can't imagine having to try to catch your social skills up to normal person level as an adult whose brain is already set in its ways. Sounds like hell, but good on them for keeping at it. PetraCore posted:I (24y Female) feel like I can't meet my long term partners (24y Male) sex drive.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:19
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ArbitraryC posted:All things held equal wouldn't you be able to argue that p much any disability makes you a worse romantic prospect than someone without? Not to try and open a can of worms here but I feel like it's a lot more kosher to write off people with mental issues as their own fault/problem than those with physical issues. No, because the person who has never experienced challenges will fold like a tissue when they experience genuine adversity and loss. I'd use Andrew Caspersen as a good example.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:21
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My[23F] boyfriend[25M] won't stop making meatloafquote:This is such a small issue but I'm just feeling really frustrated. So basically, my boyfriend (together 1 year) enjoys cooking. It relaxes him and he spends a good deal of time cooking after work. He's a good cook, and it's pretty awesome to have someone cook dinner for you every day, but recently he's started cooking meatloaf. Constantly. If we aren't eating meatloaf leftovers, there's a new one in the oven. I love the image of this guy lighting a joint then time-warping to dinner only to find out he made meatloaf again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw
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Jul 31, 2017 01:22
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Haifisch posted:As a Certified Sperg™, you have to bear in mind early intervention helps a lot, and people your parents' age probably didn't get it. Shove someone into therapy programs by their teens at the latest, and they can come out the other end acting more or less like a normal person. Well with my father, for example, I have to assume it didn't help that his mother was basically Lucille Bluth without the occasional glimmers of humanity.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:24
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La Brea Carpet posted:In the first case, regardless of the person's disability, they have a personality and way of interacting with the world that is usually informed by their limitations but not defined by it. Just because they can't walk doesn't mean that they can't be empathetic, caring, loving partners. On the flip side, they could also be mean, narcissistic assholes who happen to be in a wheelchair. Aye, I know enough people to have had plenty of exposure to the badbones and the badbrains community, and tbh the badbones tend to be down-to-earth and easygoing cool people, and the badbrains tend to make me feel ... so god damned tired 
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Jul 31, 2017 01:27
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Admiral Ray posted:What kind of dude doesn't understand that he can jack off to handle times like this? Though based on him acting lovely he'd probably do it in a way that was cruel to her or something. I also kind of have to assume that maybe her wanting less sex has to do with how much of an rear end he's acting over her only having sex with him 4 times a week and not 14. I'd want to stop having sex with someone over that, too! Permanently, because I'd break up with them!
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Jul 31, 2017 01:34
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Describing someone's sexual performance as "you know, comfortable" is brutal.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:35
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Pick posted:Aye, I know enough people to have had plenty of exposure to the badbones and the badbrains community, and tbh the badbones tend to be down-to-earth and easygoing cool people, and the badbrains tend to make me feel ... so god damned tired One problem with badbrains communities, and I say this as someone who's part of one, is dealing with competing access needs. Even within the same disorders!
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Jul 31, 2017 01:39
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blarzgh posted:The only thing I don't believe about the slander lawsuit is that he got a "huge settlement" out of it. I'm sure they did settle, since 97% of civil suits eventually do, but defamation suits are extremely difficult to prove damages for. Late reply but yeah I work at a Financial Advisor office and if they can't even afford a tech guy I wonder how they can afford a Bloomberg terminal or even someone to keep their performance numbers GIPS compliant. Bloomberg terminals aren't cheap, they're like $20k to rent one on a two year basis. I work at a small company and we have maybe four or five? I don't know a lot about them but they seem absolutely necessary to our bond department.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:50
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PetraCore posted:I (24y Female) feel like I can't meet my long term partners (24y Male) sex drive. If he finds himself getting turned down a lot it could easily be wearing at his self esteem, and this is a p one sided account of the situation. He could also just be a sex fiend constantly pushing boundaries in their relationship who knows.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:53
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Hot take, but I legit believe that everyone would be a good person if their brains weren't broke, and if someone is an rear end in a top hat, something's broke in their brain that'd be fixed by therapy or medicine.
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Jul 31, 2017 01:57
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Turtlicious posted:Hot take, but I legit believe that everyone would be a good person if their brains weren't broke, and if someone is an rear end in a top hat, something's broke in their brain that'd be fixed by therapy or medicine. I generally believe in people's ability to at least be better, and for many people to be good, but I'm afraid that I do think that some people hit a point after which there is no internal force that will ever allow an external force to guide them away from being a piece of shiiiit
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Jul 31, 2017 02:01
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ArbitraryC posted:If he finds himself getting turned down a lot it could easily be wearing at his self esteem, and this is a p one sided account of the situation. He could also just be a sex fiend constantly pushing boundaries in their relationship who knows.
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Jul 31, 2017 02:09
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PetraCore posted:Yeah but if he literally wants sex every day (at a generous reading) and then blames her sex drive for being too low when she's only willing to have sex 3 times a week that's a problem. There's obviously a mismatch there in things they probably can't help, but he CAN help how he treats her when she says no, just as she can help the way she says no. After being with my wife for 13 years I'm super happy to get laid 3 times a week. Maybe I'm just old now.
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Jul 31, 2017 02:29
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