/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

Whorelord posted:

I [28M] don't know how to deal with my racist father [50sM] anymore

I feel bad for him but this is hilarious:

quote:

His response was to create a new group chat called "political correct people", invite me and leave immediately so I'd be alone in that group...

# ? Jul 31, 2017 22:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 04:51

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

When I was younger, I would have rolled my eyes at the thought of anyone being a dating jinx / perpetually unlucky in their relationships. That someone, through no fault of their own, could land in failed, abusive relationship after failed, abusive relationship.

It turns out that karma isn't real and life just sucks for some people.

Some people's pickers are broken.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 22:54

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

My (24f) 5 year boyfriend (27m) opened up our relationship a year ago and now I'm confused about my feelings for him and just in general.

quote:

Essentially over a year ago my boyfriend told me he was going to have sex with other women (edit: at first it was specifically a long-time crush but then they didn't sleep together so he wanted to "sow his wild oats" on tinder so he wouldn't regret his youth and I could see how variety is its own experience) and I could break up with him or be in an open relationship. I decided if we set ground rules we could do an open relationship. He seemed apprehensive that I would only accept the relationship opening both ways but ultimately that's how it worked out. Us in a romantic relationship but we could have sex-only partners outside of that. I didn't really have much interest in it at first but as he started spending more time away from home I decided to get a dating app just to see my options. There were a lot more than I thought.

It's really impacted how I see myself, my boyfriend, and our future. I don't know if it is the nature of online dating, with rating systems and stat cards but I'm starting to see my relationship in really shallow terms. In the past five years I've gotten myself an education and in good physical shape and my boyfriend is exactly the same as when we met. I don't know how to feel about that. Obviously, I liked him when we met but he's still talking about making the same life changes as he ever was and I'm starting to feel it's more entertaining for him than aspirational. It's also like maybe he's the same but I see him differently now. Looking at his profile amid a slew of others was a pretty cringey experience and I haven't looked at it since.

Aside from that seeing as I'm not looking for another relationship I realized I'd have good chances at one-night stands with a more attractive guy than I would normally let myself be interested in. Getting a hookup from a hot guy has a higher chance of success than getting a relationship with that guy. Except I've met some of these guys and their behavior has me questioning if I'm underestimating my market value or if I'm just in a fortunate dating scene? Also it seems really hosed up to realize that I have a whole internal rating system and would purposefully avoid guys that score too many points on it when looking for a realtionship?

Two guys I'm hooking up with are pushing to take our relationships in more serious romantic directions, wanting to see me more, be the only one seeing me, go on trips, do non-sexual things together, etc. Sometimes I feel like they're filling my head with sweet nothings, other times I don't know what the point of pretending to want to seriously date me is if they're already getting in my pants. It's so hosed up, I'm not really interested in either romantically but both of them are very attractive and well educated. When guys like that showed interest in me before, when I didn't want a hookup, I'd shut them down assuming they were players and not interested in genuine dating.

Being around either of them makes me feel much more like the ideal version of myself than my real life. I feel like our conversations are more stimulating, we have more interests in common, etc. But aren't exciting, new relationships just like that? I know it's awful to think like this but I'm starting to wonder if I can do better than my boyfriend. Am I deluding myself? If I really loved my boyfriend would I have these thoughts? Is this some subconscious anger about the open relationship bleeding through?

This whole thing has left me feeling like maybe I just need to be single and in therapy right now. I don't want to talk to my boyfriend about these feelings and I don't want my friends judging my hosed up shallowness, please help reddit. Get my head on straight.

tl;dr: Boyfriend opened up our relationship against my initial wishes, now I'm wondering if I can do better than him and feeling confused.

Ahahahahahahaha, what a powerful self own on the boyfriend's part.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 22:54

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

quote:

He seemed apprehensive that I would only accept the relationship opening both ways but ultimately that's how it worked out

Lol nice try buddy

# ? Jul 31, 2017 22:57

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

When I was younger, I would have rolled my eyes at the thought of anyone being a dating jinx / perpetually unlucky in their relationships. That someone, through no fault of their own, could land in failed, abusive relationship after failed, abusive relationship.

It turns out that karma isn't real and life just sucks for some people.

Eh I think some people just consistently choose bad partners and it sorta is their fault cause I've had friends like that and you can see the abusive personality behind the shallow charm and looks but no matter how much you tell them it's a terrible idea to date that person they're too starry eyed.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 22:59

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

WampaLord posted:

Ahahahahahahaha, what a powerful self own on the boyfriend's part.

I love these

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Help, Reddit, my boyfriend may have in his greed turned me into a powerful, sexual godess who no longer needs him.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:01

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

quote:

My friends and I all went to school together and spent countless hours working towards getting a fairly great GLP spot. We all landed at our target company and have worked here just shy of 2 years. Without giving too much away, we work for a company with a lot of fulfillment centres and our job is to manage everything from end-to-end. My friend �Mike� [27/M] and our friend �Lisa� [27/F] and I all work in the same massive division and we oversee a lot of employees � easily 80 to 250 each. Most of our reports are high school grads, some are college educated, many have been doing this type of job for a long time, so they tend to be our age or older. I am being promoted up and into a new division that will take me far away. Part of my transition is an exit interview, one where I highlighted a lot of issues, two being Mike and Lisa. Lisa has a bad temper and treats men with lesser qualifications as lesser people. She can go too far with �a joke� and can take the whole �man talk� thing to wild extremes, often to the point where it�s cruel. Mike treats everyone like poo poo, irrespective. He has a big sense of entitlement based on a few factors and doesn�t give a rat�s rear end about anyone. Outside of work they�re opposite � friendly, kind and caring. They�d go miles out of their way to make you feel like you did them a favor. But, for some reason, at work� they�re unreasonable.

poo poo they�ve pulled is sadly things I�ve seen with my own eyes. I�ve spoken to them before, but neither gave too much of a poo poo. At work, they�re universally hated and complaints have been filed. Because it�s hard for their supervisors to catch this, they have evaded serious punishment. But, I thought telling HR the truth would get them to put a stop to it. Which they did. They turned around and immediately fired both on the spot. Less than 2 hours after I had spoken with them. There is no coincidence.

Both are furious that they�ve been let go. They�ve been drinking in the living room for a few days (they also don�t realize I know that they�re secretly dating) and have been raving about being fired. I�m leaving in less than a week and up until now have been sympathetic but distant. I�m wondering if it is even worth being honest with the two of them. We�ve been through a lot together, we struggled in school, we worked hard to get jobs but it was their personality that killed them. Last night I wrote a list of examples of things that would have sunk them and am wondering if there�s any point to maybe just giving them examples of what they did wrong to see if it may change things for the future.

I�m gone later this week and probably won�t see them for a long time, if ever. Is it worth it to go nuclear, book a hotel for the last couple of days and just let them know?

tl;dr: Two friends - Mike & Lisa - were personally ill suited for a job managing people. I raised issues with HR during an exit interview which wound-up getting both fired. I'm not sure if I should tell them that it was me and why I complained. Is it a bad idea?

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:08

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

quote:

they also don�t realize I know that they�re secretly dating

Oh my god, never loving tell them, they will team up to destroy you.

Why would you even have the instinct to tell them? loving idiot.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:10

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

"Should I tell my angry, drunk roommates that I got them fired? For some reason I didn't immediately rule out this possibility like a sane person"

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:12

Barudak: May 7, 2007

How were you born with such a nonfunctional self preservatiom imstinct? Is there some sort of toxoplasmosis but for other humans?

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:12

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

There's no way they fired two people on the word of one guy. There was obviously issues with those two before the exit interview, and they figured training 3 new supervisors is preferable to training 1 and having 2 poo poo ones.

That said, DO NOT TELL THEM. EVER. You take that poo poo TO YOUR GRAVE.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:13

Sedisp: Jun 20, 2012

actually no tell them we need to weed this inclination for self annihilation out of the gene pool

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:14

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Barudak posted:

How were you born with such a nonfunctional self preservatiom imstinct? Is there some sort of toxoplasmosis but for other humans?

I believe it's called fuckface-itis and this guy is riddled

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:18

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

WampaLord posted:

Why would you even have the instinct to tell them? loving idiot.

Dumbasses raised to think honesty is the best policy, who somehow become adults without getting smacked in the face because of it.

See also: People who think you have to give new partners a notarized list of every man, woman, sex toy, and vegetable you've ever hosed.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:26

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I notice that neither fruit nor tubules were mentioned

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:28

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

You don't have to list which fruits you've hosed until the first anniversary. Everyone knows this.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:29

A big flaming stink: Apr 26, 2010

Haifisch posted:

Dumbasses raised to think honesty is the best policy, who somehow become adults without getting smacked in the face because of it.

See also: People who think you have to give new partners a notarized list of every man, woman, sex toy, and vegetable you've ever hosed.

ew, vegetables are gross

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:30

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

quote:

they also don�t realize I know that they�re secretly dating

This was written with just enough malice, was just enough out of left field that I think we found the real problem he had with their work performance.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:39

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Lockback posted:

This was written with just enough malice, was just enough out of left field that I think we found the real problem he had with their work performance.

As I said, do you REALLY think they're going to fire two supervisors on the word of a guy on his way out the door? Those two were obviously in poo poo already for them to be fired that quickly. HR loves a papertrail.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:49

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

disagree strongly

this guy's already getting promoted away so he should be supportive and helpful in the meantime, steer them to suspect everyone else in his position/in line to potentially compete for further promotion and encourage them to gently caress with them, and on his last day moving out he should politely say his goodbyes, segue into detailing exactly what he has done to ruin their lives, and close the door cackling and howling "THAT'S RIGHT! T'WAS MY HAND ON THE BLADE THAT STRUCK YOU LOW!"

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jul 31, 2017

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:50

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

The whole thing honestly sounds like a Megg Mogg and Owl plotline

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:56

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [28/M] got my roommates fired from a prestigious job. Neither know it was me and I�m wondering if I should let them know.

Being as how snitches get stitches, I think he should maybe shut the gently caress up and pretend not to know.

He should tell them while taking them out to a super nice dinner to celebrate his promotion. Couch it as "being supportive" and "wanting them to improve". People love that poo poo, especially when it has real negative material impact on their lives.

# ? Jul 31, 2017 23:58

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Bright and yet curiously dense at the same time:

I [30 M] walked in on my girlfriend [26 F] of 3 years with a stranger.

quote:

u/paranoid_arkanoid
I was working a convention in a city about 3 hours away over the weekend. This was my first convention selling my own products and not working for a different vendor. This made my pack up time significantly shorter than when working for someone else, so at the end of the convention, I left about 45 minutes after the close of show rather than the usual 3-4 hours.

During the convention, she called and talked for a bit and I asked her what she was up to for the day. She said she'd be in all day cleaning. As I was leaving, I called my girlfriend to tell her I was on my way. I got no answer after 2 calls and decided to just hop on the road.

3 hours later, at around 8:55 pm, I pull up to her apartment and knock on her door. Her dog barks, as the dog usually does, but then remains quiet. I call her phone to see if she's there and there's no answer. I walk down to the parking lot (1 flight of stairs and maybe 20 feet around the corner) to see if her car is there and sure enough, it is. I walk back up to her apartment and knock again. She had given me a key, so I thought that it would be ok for me to use it. I unlock the bottom lock and try to enter, but discover the top lock, which is inaccessible from the outside, is locked. So she's home and she has to be inside.

I call a second time with no answer. I'm starting to get freaked out, as it's very uncharacteristic of her to go to bed early, so I call a third time. She answers. I tell her I was wondering if I could see her tonight, if she's home, and telling her that I'm outside. She stumbles over her words, mostly repeating my questions like "Can we hang out tonight? Sure." "Am I home? Yea, I'm home right now." and "Ok,I am going to let you in right now. I'm coming to the door." I hang up and then clock switches over from 8:59 to 9:00 From my first knock to her opening the door was about 4 minutes.

When she opens the door, there's a guy in there I've never met and he's gathering up a backpack full of stuff including some clothes. At this point my mind is racing. Before, I had only been concerned she was alright and now I was thinking about what this scene might be. She introduces him as a friend from out of town just visiting. I thought she said he was from another town in our same state, but I may have been panicking and misheard. She rushes him out the apartment and shuts the door behind him. Our total interaction was less than 30 seconds.

At this point I start freaking out externally in addition to internally and I tell her the whole scene looks very suspicious and ask her what was going on. She explains that he was in from out of town and they wet to a movie and just got back and were just hanging out and smoking and doing edibles (which could explain the stilted speech). I asked why she didn't answer the door and she said she was in the restroom. She's visibly sweating and I tell her that this whole thing is freaking me out and I should probably just go. She attempts to stop me and we talk a bit while I go to my car.

I head back home and settle in when I decide to call her and ask her a couple things. I asked her what movie they went to and what theater it was at. She gives me her answers and we end the call. I look up the showtimes for that movie at that theater and the 7:30 showing of the movie (114 minutes) would have still been playing at 9:00 when I got to the apartment. It just doesn't fit together to me, and I call her back.

I ask her what showtime they went to and she scoffs at me asking if I'm serious. I calmly ask again and she snaps at me saying she can't believe I don't trust her. She continues, saying that I've always thought of her as some untrustworthy person (I don't think that I have, I've been pretty accommodating). I ask her one more time and the line goes dead. I call back three times over the next 40 minutes and get no response, so I go to bed.

An hour and 10 minutes after the line dies, she calls me back and says her phone died and that she had been talking to a friend who got her riled up and that's why she was so defensive about the whole thing. She then says that they went to a showing at 4:30 showing of the movie which is a full 3 hours earlier than the other, which still doesn't seem right to have "just" gotten home from at 9:00 pm. I don't know what to think at this point, so we end the call and I try to go to sleep.

We have to talk about this more tonight, and I honestly don't know how to progress. How do I talk to her about this without jumping to conclusions? Please help.

tl;dr: I walked in on my girlfriend with another guy after knocking for a few minutes and I'm not sure what to think.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:03

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Im sorry Mr. and Mrs. Paranoid Arkanoid, but your child will need to repeat kindergarden for another year in a row, or at least until he figures out that 1+1=2

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:06

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

He knows exactly what the score is. He's just trying to jam the puzzle pieces together so that he can get them to make a different answer because he doesn't like that one. He's not dense, he's in denial.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

fruit on the bottom posted:

He knows exactly what the score is. He's just trying to jam the puzzle pieces together so that he can get them to make a different answer because he doesn't like that one. He's not dense, he's in denial.

Theyre not puzzle pieces so much as alphabet blocks that spell out ""Im cheating on you"

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:08

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

The damning thing is that the minute he got home the 'friend from out of town' stuffed his poo poo in a bag and got out of there asap at 9pm.

If he was a friend from out of town wouldn't he be staying at her place? And wouldn't he be happy to meet his friend's boyfriend?

I mean there's denial and the there's.. I dunno, the amazon? Something something.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:18

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Barudak posted:

Theyre not puzzle pieces so much as alphabet blocks that spell out ""Im cheating on you"

Pushes blocks into "No anime, itchy goun"

"I just feel like I'm so close"

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:22

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

I'm not going to post it, but holy crap at the Dog one under New.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:24

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

You can't just tease them like that, but yeah jfc.

Ever seen the first episode of house of cards? That's kind of what we're looking at here.

Trigger warning: mercy kill

Am I (27F) a monster for mercy killing my dog?

quote:

So this happened yesterday and I'm hoping for some perspective on it. My dog was hit by a car after she ran out of the door when I opened it. She surprised me and we live on a busy street, unfortunately I was unable to catch her before she was hit by a car. My boyfriend heard me yelling for the dog and came outside with me and saw the aftermath of the injury. The person who hit her sped away and my boyfriend headed down the road to see if they stopped to get a licence plate. I inspected my dog and her stomach had been crushed and her intestines were spilling out. She was still alive but in a lot of pain. I come from a family that treats animals like property, and when they become too sick or injured to survive or are unable to survive without expensive treatment we kill them (sorry, I know that is blunt but I don't have a way to explain it better). I grew up on a farm where this is normal. Dogs that were attacked by wild animals or infected by something were buried out back. They were treated just like our chickens that were killed when they stopped producing eggs.

I realized that there was not anything I could do for my dog and while my boyfriend was trying to figure out how to get her to the vet I told him there was nothing that could be done and then reached down and broke her neck. I wasn't really thinking when I did what I did and it really shocked my boyfriend. My boyfriend loves my dog and he has been in my life for a year and bonded with her in that time. I like animals and she was my first pet, but I don't love them like they are my child.

After I did that my boyfriend was kind of frozen and I got up and got my shovel and tarp and put her on the tarp and took her out back and buried her. Then I cleaned the tarp and the sidewalk. My boyfriend had gone back inside at that point. When I went inside afterwords he yelled at me a lot. Screaming and crying that I was a monster and a horrible person and how could I do that and so on, and then he left to go to his parents. I apologized and told him I wasn't thinking and that I only did it so my dog wouldn't suffer any longer than she had too but he wasn't having it. I tried to call a few times today but have been ignored. I'm going to apologize again but with his reaction I think he's going to break up with me. I expect it even though this to me is not a big deal, I understand that it is to him and that I should have at least talked to him about it more before actually doing it. I don't necessarily think I'm in the wrong with ending her pain but I probably should not have done it with my hands. So I guess I just want to know if I really am a monster for doing this? Is there anything I can do to make it up to him? I was thinking of getting a gravestone for her but I'm not sure.

TLDR: I mercy killed my dog after she was hit by a car, my boyfriend freaked out, am I a monster for doing it?

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:27

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

I understand her viewpoint but still, I would sever that very minute.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:31

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

fruit on the bottom posted:

You can't just tease them like that, but yeah jfc.

Ever seen the first episode of house of cards? That's kind of what we're looking at here.

Trigger warning: mercy kill

Am I (27F) a monster for mercy killing my dog?

I hope when the time comes I can be as good an owner to my pets that she is. Stone Cold, but she did the right thing. Boyfriend's initial reaction was understandable, but he's a pansy rear end millennial softy for not getting over it once he calmed down.

TOOT BOOT posted:

I understand her viewpoint but still, I would sever that very minute.

It's guts we're squished out. No coming back from that. What should she have done? Painfully drag it into the car, painfully carry it into the vet so he can give it a lethal injection?

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:31

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

He saw that the relationship could not survive and snapped it's neck.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:31

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

I bet she gives great handjobs

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:32

Propaganda Hour: Aug 25, 2008; after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

If your dog's insides are becoming its outsides then there isn't much a vet can do

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:33

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

WampaLord posted:

Okay, a warning in advance, this one is crazy long but holy poo poo, y'all. HOLY poo poo, Y'ALL.

Also, pretend I bolded the whole thing. Skip to the "incidents" parts if you want the most things.

Me [27 M] with my fiancee' [35 F] of 2.5 years. Is my mom jealous of my fiancee' and/or being inappropriate with me?

HOLY loving poo poo! What in the hell is wrong with this lady?

Oh come on, you expect me to believe this guy was telling the truth and didn't write this one handed

"my mom is touching my junk, wearing skimpy outfits, talking about my dick, going crazy around my fiancee... Like, is this normal???" lmao

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:33

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Propaganda Hour posted:

If your dog's insides are becoming its outsides then there isn't much a vet can do

The only thing weirding me out is how zen she seems to be about everything. Like even him freaking out and breaking up with her she's like "I can understand that perspective"

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:35

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

TOOT BOOT posted:

I understand her viewpoint but still, I would sever that very minute.

Much like the dog's spine.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 04:51

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

fruit on the bottom posted:

The only thing weirding me out is how zen she seems to be about everything. Like even him freaking out and breaking up with her she's like "I can understand that perspective"

She's able to separate her actions from her emotions. Lo-gi-cal. I'd be all over that in a second.

# ? Aug 1, 2017 00:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »