Pivotal Lever posted:

You should reread it again you loving moron:


It was in the middle of a game involving children. You are the worst poster on Something Awful.

quote:

On Fourth of July, the family had a big barbecue at his parents. They have a pool and a big back yard and it was a load of fun. I was playing games in the pool with some of my husband's nieces and nephews, as well as one of my SIL34's husbands Matt.

While in the pool and playing some game, my bikini came undone and I accidentally flashed Matt and my FIL. We were sort of wrestling in the pool in the middle of a game and it happened accidentally. I was incredibly embarrassed but they both ensured me it was fine. Later, all 3 of us laughed off the situation.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

I ordered stuff to use with ~my girlfriend~ thru Amazon and kept getting "please rate your dildo purchase, of dildos" "review this dildo for other users" emails.

Very indiscrete.

quote:

We've been married for 5 years but together for 9 total. I love my wife dearly and outside of this issue we have always had an amazing relationship. This behavior is just so uncharacteristically selfish I don't know what's going on.

My wife, for as long as I've known her, has had a "signature scent." She says she was gifted a perfume when she graduated high school and has been using it daily ever since. She even has body wash and lotion of the same scent. It's very high end and smells nice, it definitely reminds me of my wife whenever I smell it. She's been wearing this scent so long it's hard to imagine her without it.

On to the problem...within the last year or so my sense of smell has gotten a lot more sensitive. I've always been a bit sensitive but in the last yearish it seems like anything that isn't incredibly neutral makes me sick. I've spoken to my doctor and he doesn't think it's anything to worry about, probably just changes as my body ages...but yeah. It's still there.

A few months ago I noticed my wife's perfume was just giving me the worst nausea. We'd be driving in the car together and I would get woozy and my head would hurt. Or we'd be lying in bed and I couldn't fall asleep because her smell was just so overpowering.

I tried to power through because I know the perfume has a lot of sentimentality and is kind of part of who my wife is. But a few weeks ago I realized I just can't live my life feeling sick all the time. So I asked my wife to cut back a little; maybe stop using the bodywash/lotion, or just spritz a cloud and walk through instead of spraying it directly on her skin. I explained how awful it made me feel.

She said she'd do it and she did cut back, but I've realized the smell is just too much. I asked her to stop wearing it, which led to a big fight in which she just said no. It's her smell, she will continue to wear it. I decided to let it go for a while. About a week ago we went out on a date night and after dinner I suggested going into one of those bath/body shops and seeing if there was some other perfume that she liked and I could tolerate. I didn't think this was likely seeing as how sensitive I am now, but maybe it was worth a shot. She didn't like anything and said she was going to continue using the perfume.

Well, Reddit, here we are. I can no longer sleep in the same bed as my wife because of the smell. I have no desire to get intimate because being that close makes me wanna puke. Plus all these issues have given me a horrible association with the smell; I can walk into the bathroom after she's gotten ready in the morning and honestly feel pissed off because of the smell and what it's done.

What do I do? My wife is literally choosing a perfume over me and it's destroying our relationship.

tl;dr: I've gotten increasingly sensitive to smell as I've gotten older. My wife's once beloved perfume now makes me ill; she refuses to give it up. This level of selfishness is unprecedented and I don't know how to save our relationship.

Haifisch posted:

My wife [33F] is actively choosing perfume over me [34M]

Haifisch posted:

My wife [33F] is actively choosing perfume over me [34M]

quote:

My SO[18F] wants me [18M] to get matching tattoos with her, but i don't know if im ready for a tattoo

We've been together all throughout highschool. A long time ago we had discussed getting tattoos when we both turn 18. Sure back when I had no experience and no idea what I wanted it seemed like a cool idea to get a tattoo,


but when she turned 18 she brought it up and i completely backed out, i told her i didn't want to. She got really upset and we got into a big argument where i gave all sorts of excuses because me just not wanting to isnt a good enough reason.


After a few days of arguing I just wanted to have my girlfriend not constantly mad at me anymore so i gave in and agreed to get it. I'm trying to rationalize and just get the tattoo cause that would make her happy which means i would be happy cause no more fighting. Well now we're doing it in a few days and im freaking out. What do i tell her.


Ontop of this, Ive also been growing my hair out for a year and she wants me to cut it all off but Im just not sure if i want to. Ive told her that long hair can be pretty annoying and she might have interpreted that as a sign that i dont want it, but i still want to donate it. it has to be longer probably another year or two of growing. Its the same scenario as the tattoo. I told her that I wasn't going to cut it, she got upset, I gave in a few days later and said i would cut it.


What do I tell her? What do I do?


TL;DR: Girlfriend wants me to do things that I agreed to but I dont want to do.

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

quote:

My husband (33M) spends 55 hours a week playing an MMORPG and I (33F) can't seem to get through to him.

We've been together for 8 years, married for the last 3. We are both gamers so this isn't about me looking down on the hobby or anything like that.

Recently in the past 6 months my husband has become addicted to an MMORPG.

I get it, they can be really fun, and I've been addicted in the past too but not to the extent that it's become another full time job.

He will come home from work, eat dinner, then immediately hop into the game for hours on end, and play until he goes to bed. It didn't used to be too bad at the beginning, but he got more and more into the game and now plays around 60 hours a week. You might think I'm exaggerating, but this is literally his schedule:

* Monday: Home from work at 6pm, games from 7pm - midnight (5 hours)
* Tuesday: Home from work at 6pm, games from 7pm - midnight (5 hours)
* Wednesday: Home from work at 6pm, games from 7pm - midnight (5 hours)
* Thursday: Home from work at 6pm, games from 7pm - midnight (5 hours)
* Friday: Home from work at 6pm, games from 7pm - 3am (8 hours)
* Saturday: Wakes at 12pm, games from 1pm - 4am (15 hours)
* Sunday: Wakes at 12pm, games from 1pm - 1am (12 hours)

Total: 55 hours, give or take.

When I spoke to him about his gaming hours, he told me that I couldn't just say flat-out that he played for 60 hours, because he did other things too during those times: he showered, he ate, he read things on the internet, he went to the bathroom, he took out the trash.

We used to watch movies, go to the park, eat out once a week or two, the usual stuff. But I haven't watched a movie with him for 6 months now, for example. I told him that I was feeling pretty alone, that I had lost him to a game. He looked at me in shock and said, "But I'm home all the time? Nobody spends as much time with their wife as I do with you." He said we were constantly with each other, he was always talking to me (about the game and stuff that was happening with his game friends), he was always willing to talk whenever I wanted.

Which is true (most of the time... there are some times when he wouldn't hear me or he'd just do the stereotypical 'mmm yes' constantly, even though he wasn't listening at all). If I wanted I could talk to him and he'd give me his full attention, turn away from the monitor to look at me. Especially if I was feeling bad or needed to discuss something or vent or whatever. This is why I feel guilty about feeling bad with regards to the game, because he's still attentive in a way.

Another time when I brought up the topic of the gaming obsession, he asked me to seriously think about whether I would be asking him to give up his time if he were, say, going to the gym or hiking or playing a sport with friends or reading or doing woodworking. I told him that if he spent 60 hours a week woodworking or going to the gym, I would still feel the same.

I don't know what to do anymore, or what to say. He is always gentle with me, never raises his voice even when he's defensive, and always explains his point of view (he's home constantly, we're together a lot, he pays attention to me, gaming is how he relaxes after his very mentally exhausting job) and then asks me why it isn't enough. Why do I need us to be constantly doing things together? Why can't we be together but doing separate things?

One time when I told him that it's not the case, that I'm not trying to hog all his time, that I just wanted to watch something with him, he switched off his computer and said, "Okay, let's watch a movie then." And then he waited while I picked a movie (which he rejected and said he wanted some other genre). When I finally picked a movie he thought was interesting enough, we sat down to watch it and it was so awkward. Like, he was simply doing it out of obligation, looking at the screen while his mind wandered. When the movie ended, he smiled at me, said "Good movie, did you enjoy it?" and then went back to the game.

I feel like he talks to his MMORPG friends more than he talks to me.

Please help me, I don't know what to do or say anymore. It's not like I need him to sit and stare at me. I have my hobbies (I read, jog, draw, garden, etc). But gently caress I am so lonely.

Do you have any advice for me?

[Note: I don't want to name the particular game because I remember there was a thread on here a year or so ago which mentioned the game and it got cross-posted to the game's subreddit. Since my husband is constantly on its subreddit, I'd rather not have him find the thread too soon before I've gotten advice and figured out what to say to him.]

TL;DR My husband spends 50+ hours a week on MMORPGs. When I talk to him about it, he says "But I'm home all the time? Nobody spends as much time with their wife as I do with you." I don't know what to do or say anymore. It's not like I need him to sit and stare at me. I have my hobbies (I read, jog, draw, garden, etc). But gently caress I am so lonely. Do you have any advice for me?

TERRIBLE SHITLORD posted:

Dude should mace his wife everytime he sees her and see how long she can deal with it for.

Alternatively quit having such a pussy bitch nose.

Waci posted:

Alternatively, just shop local and buy your elf cock from an SA thread your friendly neighborhood sex shop?

The_end posted:

Guy should start smoking.

Haifisch posted:

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.

My husband (34M) spends 55 hours a week playing an MMORPG and I (33F) can't seem to get through to him

quote:

When he got home that night I cleared off our kitchen table and asked him if he'd sit with me, no electronics. We had a pad of paper between us and I asked him if he'd write out how much time on average he spends on certain activities during the week/weekend. Work was 40-45 hours, carpool was about 8 hours, weekday gaming 36 hours (hour before work, at least two hours cumulated at work, hour on the way home from work, and average of five hours once home into the night), misc activities an hour (chores and household or grocery shopping). Weekend numbers for gaming were more or less the same fluctuating between 40-45 (saturday, sunday, monday). I asked him to count "quality" time between us for the week. As in minimal electronics, cooking together, coffee dates, hiking, dog walking, engaging conversation, sex... it totaled to roughly five hours a whole week, including weekends.

I then asked him to rank important aspects of his life. They could be in a more important first manner, or just "here are 10 things that are all equally important to me". I was the third thing written. His family and security (financial, home, auto are all rolled into that) were the first he thought of, but I'm ok with that. I'd rank my family first too until we are together a lot longer or married. Our dog, traveling, learning, and health also made the list.
I showed him the list vs. how he spends his time.

So I asked him to compare the list of things he thought were important to how he spends his time. And that's when the tears started. He asked me if this was my way of saying the relationship was over, and I told him no, but I need attention too. Living with your SO seems like an easy way to spend quality time, and I suppose it can be, but it doesn't mean you should stop "dating".

Outrail posted:

This and/or start wearing truly awful cologne, really slather it on.

Admiral Ray posted:

Get a divorce, destroy his computer, and .

Or, do this thing I found in the comments there, then .

quote:

[–]hopewings [score hidden] 3 hours ago

Over this past winter, we didn't limit our gaming to an hour per day, and the result was that we'd spend all weekend inside playing video games while our kids whined, got bored and frustrated with their toys and each other, and acted out with us. That wasn't fair to them, and truth be told we weren't having all that much fun either.

So now we try to take them out to some activity at least once for each day of the weekend. They deserve to have a fun-filled childhood. We don't do anything expensive either--playgrounds in public park, hiking in the mountains, annual membership to the aquarium or aviary, etc. Even if some of them also involved tantrums and meltdowns, at least we feel like more responsible parents.

Without kids in the picture I can see how people would say there's no need to cut back on gaming time. But I also think gaming shouldn't overtake all other hobbies. The more time we devote to something, the better we get at it. It's much more rewarding to get good at a hobby that's not so transient like a MMORPG where all your progress is reset with the next expansion or where unless you play hours upon hours like a job you're feeling left behind.

Gaming is fun, and I totally understand the appeal. But time is a precious resource, and overspending on gaming leads to scarcity elsewhere.


[–]knightsmarian [score hidden] 2 hours ago

Gaming is a hobby. Your reply makes it seem like its not qualified to be one. They can be enriching, story driven with well written narratives, with puzzles, new environments to explore full of developed characters and novel experiences. You have the ability to control outcomes which is far more engaging than watching TV or watching movies. There is ongoing debate as to if reading digitally is the same as reading a book, but some games can have hours worth of reading in them. Furthermore, gaming can be some of the cheapest forms of electronic entertainment.


[–]Bhrunhilda [score hidden] an hour ago

Honestly, her reply stinks of extrovert to me lol. Her whole family might be extroverted. My kids wouldn't even like going out on both Sat and Sun. One day is enough

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

I ordered stuff to use with ~my girlfriend~ thru Amazon and kept getting "please rate your dildo purchase, of dildos" "review this dildo for other users" emails.

Very indiscrete.

Outrail posted:

This and/or start wearing truly awful cologne, really slather it on.

Haifisch posted:

OP better watch out, the "GAMING IS A REAL HOBBY WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING IT" lobby is here:

The_end posted:

Or put a couple drops of doe in heat in the perfume.

hawowanlawow posted:

I wonder how much that would cost in the USA



A lot, probably

Haifisch posted:

OP better watch out, the "GAMING IS A REAL HOBBY WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING IT" lobby is here:

Haifisch posted:

OP better watch out, the "GAMING IS A REAL HOBBY WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING IT" lobby is here:

quote:

[–]thrilled_penicillin [score hidden] 2 hours ago

No one is saying it's not rewarding in its own way, but is more rewarding than spending that time with your children or experiencing the physical world around you?


[–]knightsmarian [score hidden] 2 hours ago

I don't have kids and in the swampland I live in, yes it is. Regardless, these are not the issue, a lot of comments are disregarding gaming as a hobby. I am trying to provide a different view of it.


[–]Bhrunhilda [score hidden] 2 hours ago

Cough MMORPG. You can do both. What's even better is when you have a group comprised of Mom, Dad, Child, Aunt, and Uncle all on voice chat

Spatial posted:

If playing an MMORPG becomes your main focus in life you've dropped so low on the scale you're worse than a rat hitting the button in a skinner box. Not even equal, because the rat didn't have the choice to get into the box in the first place

quote:

There has been a lot of friction between my parents and I for the past year or so. So in actuality, the Facebook post was probably the last straw to break the camels back.

First off, both my parents are Catholic and conservative. I have two younger brothers who are 21 and 19. All three of us were raised Catholic and attended a Catholic elementary school. Throughout our teenage years and early adult lives, we all have developed beliefs that differ from those of our parents. None of us are religious now. I have faced a lot of backlash from my parents (mainly my mother) because of my beliefs and lack of faith. My mother has told me before that I am basically throwing away a tradition that has been passed down in our family. She says Catholicism was "good enough" for her father, so why would I turn my back on it. I have kindly tried explaining my views to her. I don't view religion as a tradition that is passed down. You have to really believe in what you are taught, and I don't. I would be lying if I said I did. This has been my experience regarding religion and my parents. I know my brother's experiences have been similar.

My younger brother [19], Daniel, came out as bisexual to our Mom around Thanksgiving last year. He thought she took it well, until a day later I receive a text message from her. She basically said she was ashamed of me and my other brother [21], Scott, for not telling her about this. She said this would destroy our family and she would not support our brother Daniel in this decision. She said a lot of other hurtful things, and she ignored us at our family Thanksgiving. Daniel ended up posting on Facebook about coming out, and that further caused our mom to be angry. It came down to she was embarrassed what our family would think and she thought Daniel should have kept quiet and never let anyone know that he was bisexual. She never apologized, but eventually we put it behind us. My Dad did not agree with how she handled the entire situation. He said he loved our brother Daniel no matter what, but at the same time he never really took up for us or pushed her to apologize. We basically brushed it all under the rug. Now, looking back that should have been what caused me to cut them both out of my life.

However, it wasn't. What is causing me to contemplate cutting both my parents out of my life is this petty Facebook argument that happened between my cousin and my fiancé, Wayne. About two weeks ago, Scott made a Facebook post. It was slightly political. My fiancé commented with a Stephen Colbert joke. He didn't mean anything by it, we just thought it was funny. My cousin then comments on the post, explaining why she disagreed with what my brother said. Both my brother and Wayne remained civil and explained why they disagreed and used sources to back up their statements. She then went on to call my brother out on his lack of faith. She said "You don't believe in God, and there is a lot I can say about that". From there, the conversation got a bit heated. She eventually called my fiancé a smart rear end and an idiot. She also threatened him. Yes, Wayne and I both admit that while he made some valid points, he should have said things a bit differently. He was a bit snarky. Once he found out she was my cousin, he ended the conversation. We didn't think much of it until a few days later at a family function, she goes off on both of us. She again threatens us, and says she is afraid to see how Wayne treats me. We remain calm. We try to talk to her, but it is impossible when she is shouting in our faces. We end up leaving, hoping to deescalate the situation. My dad walked us to our car. Said he knew we both were good people and that my cousin had done this before.

So now, two weeks later, my dad has done a 180. He has called me and demanded that we both come to their house to talk about this. He has said that Wayne is so longer welcome under his roof. He has mentioned how he'd like to stomp Wayne's guts out and he is a liar. My brothers and I are beside ourself. My brothers love my fiancé. They think he is a great guy and are so happy that we are getting married. My dad was ecstatic when we got engaged and said I couldn't have found anyone better. I don't know where this is coming from. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of always feeling ashamed of what I believe in. I'm tired of having to brush things under the rug. I am so hurt by what my parents have said. I need advice on how to go forward. I don't know if I should cut them out or limit my contact with them.

TL;DR: Parents have continued to react negatively towards my brothers and my beliefs. A Facebook post between my fiancé and a cousin has caused a huge falling out.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

yeah but did they try the same experiment where instead of dispensing heroin hitting the button made the rat's little virtual rat-elf gain another point?

Admiral Ray posted:

My fiancé [M22] and I [F23] may have just had a fallen out with my parents [57M & 54F] over a Facebook post. Non-Romantic (self.relationships)


but slowly poison your dad's mind against your mother, leading to their divorce.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Apparently, even rats raised in the Skinner box will stop hitting the heroin button in short order when introduced to a healthy rat population. Mating, socializing and playing with the other rats wins out. The big bottle of heroin water will just gather dust in the corner as the rats ignore it. What I'm saying is, rats are better than humans.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park

Admiral Ray posted:

My fiancé [M22] and I [F23] may have just had a fallen out with my parents [57M & 54F] over a Facebook post. Non-Romantic (self.relationships)