my turn in the barrel posted:

Saying someone is virtue signaling just means you don't know the definition of sanctimony

Zzulu posted:

Bats cant lift people

Zzulu posted:

Bats cant lift people

McGavin posted:

Not true, bugs can lift 50 times their own weight.

We Know Catheters posted:

Bats are mammals

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Pssshhh they got like, no tits.

We Know Catheters posted:

I don't know. Maybe go check.

Shinjobi posted:

BvS opens with young Bruce falling into the well and literally being flown out of it by a flock of bats.





There are other things to discuss, but that movie had me crying laughing in the first three minutes, and that's impressive.

WampaLord posted:

McGavin posted:

Thank you. I was worried for a second.

quote:

My parents dropped a pretty big bombshell on me; I was going to have a sister but mom miscarried in the third trimester.

They tried again and my little brother was born, but yeah, I was gonna have a sister named Lily.

I recently got engaged and my mom has been extremely happy to spend time with my fiancé and her sisters, now I see why.

quote:

A girl recently spent the night at my apartment. Nothing sexual happened (even though I wanted it to) - we were out with mutual friends, she got drunk, I let her crash at my apartment.

While she was passed out drunk on my couch I put her feet on my face and enjoyed smelling them. I filmed her sleeping for a bit. In the morning she went to freshen up and, claiming I had to clean up a bit, I hid my cell phone in the bathroom and filmed her peeing and washing her face.

That's all fine and I don't plan to leak this footage anywhere - it's my personal masturbation aid footage. What is hosed, and why I'm sending this anonymously? She's my step sister.

I was never ever attracted to her before but in the last few weeks I've gotten really lonely and I think this is related.

Danaru posted:

Spawn was the only good superhero movie

Danaru posted:

Spawn was the only good superhero movie animated series

Theophany posted:

What the everloving gently caress is that all about?

People care too much about inconsequential poo poo.

bradzilla posted:

is therapy goon dead or what

Solice Kirsk posted:

I'm assuming he is. Either that or married.

ElGroucho posted:

Same difference

quote:

My job has started sucking majorly. We hired a new VP after the last guy retired, and we're slowing going downhill. Lots of new metrics that make no sense, removing expense reporting (you just have to eat the costs now), and a lot of back and forth arguing from up top on what's important and what's not.

I want to find another job but I'm scared to give up my salary and benefits as they're really good. That's not the point of this, though.

My point is I've started drinking to cope with it. It started with a beer at lunch, and I discovered I could just coast through the afternoon feeling pretty good. That pretty quickly wore off.

I have a flask I take to work every day, I usually finish it over the course of a day. I'll also have a drink before work, usually a margarita or hard apple cider; something vaguely fruity so I don't feel like a complete Alkie.

Throw in a few drinks over lunch. Then when I get home I'm usually feeling okay, but I might have 3-4 beers over the course of a night.

I don't drive; I take the bus to work, so I'm not endangering anyone. But I can't imagine this is good for me.

quote:

Here's a dirty secret from my past;

I cheated on my wife for 3 years. She never knew and will never know, because the girl I cheated on her with committed suicide.

That girl was crazy; hosed me on the first date and would lick the poo poo out of my rear end in a top hat. She must have had a pretty messed up childhood, coupled with the drugs she took.

Anyway we had a good thing going until she decided that she didn't want to share me any more and threatened to tell my wife.

I was really scared but then she killed herself. Weirdest thing, too, she injected a bunch of muriatic acid into her body. That stuff etches concrete so you can imagine the damage it did.

The police never called me so I assume she never left any evidence of our affair that made me look suspicious. I know I deleted everything on her phone after she passed away.

Whoops, guess I let that particular secret slip.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I'm assuming he is. Either that or married.

sneakyfrog posted:

yo loq just as a weird ethical question (he unironically says in GBS) supposing someone were legit bragging about said thing. maybe thats not cool?

loquacius posted:

You mean posting it isn't cool? I dunno, I'm honestly sort of torn on whether it should be taken seriously enough to be reported to the police and if so how I would go about doing that

food court bailiff posted:

isn't that the plot to a really mediocre woody allen movie?

quote:

removing expense reporting (you just have to eat the costs now)

loquacius posted:

I have a flask I take to work every day,

quote:

I sleepwalk, I've always done it. I don't just walk, I cook food, clean the house, email people, or get work done. In my early 20s, at least three times, I gave random male friends hand jobs and knew nothing about it until days afterwards. Two of those were in rooms full of other people. One of them was my boyfriend's best friend. For a long time a lot of my friends knew this about me, and I didn't.

I had no attraction at all to these people, during waking hours, but it seems that my hands become dick-hunters when I'm asleep. I have to wonder what else I've done in my sleep and still don't know about. I only found out about that because I overheard some friends talking about it. They told me all the details when I asked, assuming I already knew what I'd done. I never even had the excuse that I was drunk, I rarely ever drink.

I secretly love the fact that I'm a subconscious slut.

quote:

I just got out of jail a few weeks ago. I'm not posting this unanonymously because my crime is very embarrassing, but let's just say it qualifies me to be a moderator of this forum. I got caught in what in hindsight was a very obvious low effort sting and downloaded a large amount of illegal pictures and videos. Yes I know this makes me a piece of poo poo, no need to pile on, I will never do it again. I wasn't really into it that much and I mean that completely honestly, but I was very drunk and was getting off on the illegality of it. I did get a fairly light sentence, probably because I'm a young (30 at the time of conviction) highly educated white guy with a clean record and promised to get treatment for my alcoholism (which I have since done and have been sober almost a year now).

Anyhow, my confession is what happened inside jail. With that kind of crime, word spreads around quick what you're in for, so in terms of the treatment I got I was just a small step above the actual molestors and rapists. It wasn't like in the movies where you get shanked and raped all the time, everything was more civil. I was approached by members of the white crew and told that I have two options: either they help the blacks make my time hell and basically force me into getting extra charges by planting drugs/weapons in my cell, or do favors for them in exchange for their protection. I chose the latter and while it technically wasn't rape, I still felt degraded and inhuman. The guards knew what was going on but since I wasn't being forced they didn't do it and just laughed at me and made jokes and/or told me I am getting what was coming to me for doing what I did to get arrested.

This went on for months until I finally was released. I probably had sex with men over 100 times, I lost count after a while. I was planning to take this secret to my grave, but somebody, presumably a guard since they knew the address, mailed a letter to my mother anonymously telling them what I did while I was inside. The few family and friends that stuck with me after finding out about my crime severed instantly. My life is ruined and I have no friends except a bunch of dumb goons who only see me as someone they play video games with occasionally.

I was hoping to get my life back on track with my sobriety and all, but now it's almost worse than being in prison. I want to just uproot and go to a completely new town and start over, but aside from violating my probation, I have no money to do it. Plus companies aren't lining up to hire me unsurprisingly. I can see why so many people become so-called career criminals - just one crime closes off almost all legal routes to having a successful, happy life. I don't expect any sympathy and I'm sure I'll get dogpiled with wishes for my death, but it feels good to share with somebody since I have nobody in real life that will listen to what I have to say.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

This is a dark road, friend.

loquacius posted:

You mean posting it isn't cool? I dunno, I'm honestly sort of torn on whether it should be taken seriously enough to be reported to the police and if so how I would go about doing that