LongDarkNight fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Aug 17, 2017

• When I first saw this I wasn't even sure he had the rights to Superhero: 2044. Apparently he does and he's even got Lou Zocchi (who was involved in the original) on as an advisor, but the pitch does not mention these basic facts. This is an advertising softball.
  
• This game seems to be selling itself on having the rights to re-release ~the original Superhero RPG~, but the pitch is all about D&D and how he wants to make a game as popular as D&D.
  
• You'd think people who play other superhero RPGs are potential backers, but other superhero games are only mentioned in the pitch to bad-mouth them like it's a failed niche he intends to revive:
  

  quote:

  I was looked at with a smidge of skepticism when I began discussing with people the possibility of doing an RPG based on comic books and super heroes. Basically it was like the movie Forrest Gump when Tom Hanks goes to buy a shrimp boat from an old mariner on the Gulf Coast- “ Is ya stupid or something?”.

  quote:

  Both major comic book publishing houses have had offerings by game developers over the years but each one had it’s flaws, critics, and detractors. If you are making game based on popular heroes you start out with certain disadvantages. Extremely powerful characters cannot be watered down or large corporations who make billions on T-shirt sale get nervous. Game mechanics and gameplay balance ne damned. The smaller companies without a major DC or Marvel license in hand seemed to give up on the visual demands of the comic book public right away. So lack of visuals in the comic book realm is sure death. Many of those games presume the creation of a compelling comic book universe from scratch. Good luck with that.

• This is extra weird because the game is apparently written by Ross Payton, Steve Perrin, Jennifer Schoonover, and Wayne Shaw, who all have credits on other great superhero games. I would namedrop the gently caress out of these people. Instead they're only mentioned in the softcover book reward tier and two of them don't even get credits listed. Why is the pitch putting down other games instead?
  
• The art team is also pretty good, and also only mentioned in the hardcover tier. It's the longest backer tier description by far, and most of it is misplaced promo. This is weird considering half the entire page is selling the game on the strength of its art.
  
• The story the pitch tells is exaggerated at best. He says he "found" SH:2044 when he "began to look at older games" but in articles like the one I linked above the creator says SH:2044 is a childhood fave of his. This is a minor thing but what?
  
• This:

  quote:

  The result is a universe specifically generated FOR a game as opposed to a makeshift retrofit of popular characters into a game.

  is a hell of a thing to say when the first two adventures are Dracula and Arkham Asylum (it's literally called Arkham!), you namedrop Van Helsing and Cthulhu, and you're literally using Marvel's Thor.
  
• The Photoshopped mockup art is kinda awkward, especially considering one of them is literally has a Marvel panel on it.
  
• The Gameplay section is badly written ("Game play can be quick and simple, where you use the stats on the character profile to a multi-level game with in-depth rules and guidelines which include purchasing enhancements, equipment and vehicles." is a hell of a sentence), which would make me worried about the book's writing if I didn't look at the backer tiers.
  
• The risks and challenges section's two paragraphs are "The hardest part... is looking this good!" and "we did a bunch of research into what the fans like and we're going to do a shitload of playtesting!". I know almost everybody just uses the "Risks and challenges" section to brag about themselves these days but come on.
  
• Comic Sans.