/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Anne Whateley posted:

No, like I said, if that's the way he's getting such big coupons (the only way I've ever heard of such big coupons), she's probably tired of jumping through hoops and having him fight with managers. It's not like doing an Applebee's free appetizer coupon from the paper.

Ah. See the Cheap People thread, extreme couponers are people who cultivate being totally insufferable for the pettiest of gains.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 13:51

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 18:08

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I'm [23F] pulling my hair out over the fact that my bf [27M] is in trouble at work for acting aggressively and not watching his freakin mouth when speaking to coworkers. He wants me to hold him while he boohoos and I'm over it.

Boss sucks and is an idiot. Boyfriend sucks and is an idiot. Unions are awesome.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 14:20

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Inescapable Duck posted:

Do people really complain that much about coupons on dates? It's a great excuse to punch above your budget weight and have a nice evening for less money. Is it really just 'You aren't spending enough money on me'?

I think it depends on context personally. It does make a special occasion feel less special if you have the whip out a coupon and spend time getting them to take it, not necessarily because they're not spending enough but because it just sucks the romanticism out of the evening. I think it also helps to be upfront about stuff like that too. My wife and I will get them every once and a while (though a lot less lately as using those big deal site coupons have become such a pain in the rear end), but we actually talk and are open about money and spending so it's not some weird surprise.

She sounds like she's maybe got some messed up views around money and spending in relationships, but we're getting all of this from a guy that posts in the red pill subreddit so it might be a bit biased.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 14:39

M_Sinistrari: Sep 5, 2008; Do you like scary movies?

Inescapable Duck posted:

Do people really complain that much about coupons on dates? It's a great excuse to punch above your budget weight and have a nice evening for less money. Is it really just 'You aren't spending enough money on me'?

For some people it is a big deal since I guess it is about the how much spent being some sort of reflection on the relationship. To me, I'd be more upset if my fiance didn't use a coupon that we had. As far as the reddit post goes with how we all know the poster's trying to put themselves in a good light, yeah, he's probably one of those insufferable types with getting a coupon honored regardless of conditions.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 15:32

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

What happened to embracing your partner as they are? Why can't they badger the manager together, as a couple?

# ? Aug 16, 2017 15:59

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

That sounds suspiciously like forming a union.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:26

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

I can see a situation where he talked her out of her favorite restaurant in favor of somewhere new and really nice that it turned out he just had a coupon for. I'd be pissed about that.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:31

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Clark Nova posted:

I can see a situation where he talked her out of her favorite restaurant in favor of somewhere new and really nice that it turned out he just had a coupon for. I'd be pissed about that.

I can see a lot of situations using events that weren't posted about or even hinted at in the OP, but no one gives a poo poo about r/relationships fanfics

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:37

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

The Ferret King posted:

Boss sucks and is an idiot. Boyfriend sucks and is an idiot. Unions are awesome.

at first I was mad at the guy for being such an aggressive dipshit sticking up for his coworkers who don't care instead of forming a union or something and then she mentioned he was already in a union, the whole point of which is to call your boss a piece of poo poo without consequence (among other things). he probably got carried away but the manager definitely deserved it

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:41

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Yawgmoth posted:

no one gives a poo poo about r/relationships fanfics

And then, after our romantic dinner in Amsterdam, Pete lowered his 6'3" frame to one knee and looked up to me with his sensitive hazel-blue eyes, the moonlight perfectly highlighting his chiseled features.

"This isn't an ultimatum," he said in his silky baritone. "I'm not presenting you with a choice," he continued, tears of joy in his eyes as he produced a small velvet-lined box, "We're getting married."

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:41

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

[MA] BANNED FROM SMASH BROS

quote:

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so loving irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:41

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

noether posted:

[MA] BANNED FROM SMASH BROS

"Your honor, you are not taking this case with the gravity it deserves. I'll get no justice here. I demand trial by combat. Fox only final destination no items."

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:44

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Why on earth would anyone accuse this fine gentleman of being a shouty belligerent fuckwit?

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:47

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

"Your honor, you are not taking this case with the gravity it deserves. I'll get no justice here. I demand trial by combat. Fox only final destination no items."

"As you can see, the Smash Ball was enabled, which means that this is an Admiralty Tournament."

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:47

weak wrists big dick: Dec 18, 2012; good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.

your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]

maskenfreiheit posted:

i mean that one guy on forensic files did stick blood vials in his arm so they'd draw blood that proved him innocent...

Imagine getting AIDS like this. It's all the drawback without any of the sex

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:49

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

The Ferret King posted:

Boss sucks and is an idiot. Boyfriend sucks and is an idiot. Unions are awesome.

Shame the police union is the only one worth a drat anymore

# ? Aug 16, 2017 16:55

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

noether posted:

[MA] BANNED FROM SMASH BROS

Whats the in thread split of 'you're a loving psychotic moron' and 'you did nothing wrong!'?

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:02

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Legaladvice is usually pretty good at dragging people who post something manifestly stupid or indefensible.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:04

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

noether posted:

[MA] BANNED FROM SMASH BROS

I hope this fine individual sues and that last line is brought up in court

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:07

Good Parmesan: Nov 30, 2007; I TAKE PHOTOS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN IN PLANET FITNESS

quote:

Does the club have a right to ban him? "what law says I can't punch the TO in the face"

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:10

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

Legaladvice is usually pretty good at dragging people who post something manifestly stupid or indefensible.

The guy who had the brilliant idea of hiding his alcohol in an oven mitt at a concert was my favorite. IIRC he was mad because he shouldn't have been arrested because the cop shouldn't have found it suspicious that he was drinking out of an oven mitt. Something like that.

Edit: My memory was a little off...

quote:

Caught drinking from an oven mitt in public in California! What can I do?
submitted 2 years ago * by Tyler_Danger
I was walking around a flea market-esqe festival on Main street off the beach in Huntington Beach, CA with a beer in an oven mitt (weird I know, but no one suspects an oven mitt, assuming they don't see you actually drinking from it). I was drinking pretty discreetly but one time I was taking a swig while turning a corner and a cop saw the tail end of my swig from about 12 feet away as I walked into view. He stepped in front of my path and asked what I was drinking. I told him I'd rather not answer that (lying to police has never turned out well for me). Then he got very mad and tried to grab the sack from my hand. Twice. I dodged both times and then he got REALLY mad. He demanded I give him the mitt I told him I'd rather not, he demanded I tell him what I'm drinking, I answered the same, and told him I'd like to just go home if I could. So he ordered me to sit on the curb and asked if I had I.D. on me. I immediately politely responded "now that's something I will give you!" And handed over I.D. "Don't move" he growled in a voice that sounded more like "I hope you give me a reason". Then he came back slightly more composed and said "Alright Tyler you got two choices, either you hand over that drink and get a ticket, or I arrest you right here. You got 3 seconds to choose 3, 2,".. I didn't call his bluff. I handed over the drink he immediately became less threatening, wrote me a ticket (civil citation, $125), and we left (my girlfriend was there to witnesses but not involved).
I've been in situations before where cops try to bluff their way into guilt admission and I refuse and they leave angrily, but without consequence. Do you think this was the case? I wish I had remembered to test the "Am I free to go?" question before giving him the mitt. I showed no signs of being drunk, the beer was a skinny aluminum bottle and undefinable inside the mitt. Essentially he was threatening to arrest me for refusing to either admit guilt or consent to a search. Which is illegal, but we all know cops can bend the law to get something done if they really want to. Lastly, but unlikely, do you think I have a chance to fight this ticket?
Subjects I'm interested in: How strong would a 'probable cause' argument to search my oven mitt without consent hold up in court had I not volunteered it? Do you think he was bluffing? What are the possible outcomes of alternate actions? Did the cop have a right to try to swipe the mitt from my hand? And does the fact that he gave up trying when I resisted having any impact or implications legal or otherwise? I tried my best to come off as respectful and unantagonistic, but the officer didn't act like he saw it that way, any tips to help be as soothing as possible while still being unsubmissive to police? (within the law of course) Starting after the cop witnesses my swig, could I have approached the situation in a better way that would have resulted in a better outcome for me?

almightyerin fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Aug 16, 2017

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:11

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

GeneX posted:

I hope this fine individual sues and that last line is brought up in court

"Of course a girl quit, Girl's suck at Smash. She probably loving mains Palutena."

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:14

limpy wimpy: Jul 1, 2007

feedmegin posted:

It amuses me that in the American military you can get an actual medal for this. Brezhnev would be envious.

And in the nine years I was in, I never got one. lol

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:26

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Inescapable Duck posted:

Do people really complain that much about coupons on dates? It's a great excuse to punch above your budget weight and have a nice evening for less money. Is it really just 'You aren't spending enough money on me'?

It could be the coupons itself being annoying or it could be she's just one of those people who thinks a higher pricetag is a bigger sign of appreciation. We've seen the latter itt a bunch, from insisting rings need to be blood diamonds to rejecting any sort of homemade gift (even from someone who professionally does that craft).

Some people will see you get 50% off a 100 dollar gift and think you cheaped out on your 100$ budget instead of really stretching that 50$ out.

As a side note I never knew coupons were so inconvenient, here if it's a place we go to a lot usually you can either just watch out for them in the local packs of ads you get every couple of months or if they're a regional chain or w/e you can usually sign up a junk email for coupons. For the most part the rule generally seems to be that they don't work on friday/sat but anything else is fair game.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:28

Rockman Reserve: Oct 2, 2007; "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

weak wrists big dick posted:

Imagine getting AIDS like this. It's all the drawback without any of the sex

uh he got plenty of sex, that's why they were drawing his blood for dna testing in a criminal trial in the first place

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:30

HazCat: May 4, 2009

weak wrists big dick posted:

Imagine getting AIDS like this. It's all the drawback without any of the sex

There's a woman on Forensic Files whose ex injected her with AIDS and (I think) Hep C as revenge for her breaking up with him.

The episode was infuriating because everyone kept talking about how crazy and unlikely the woman's fear was that her out-of-the-blue positive HIV result might possibly be related to her abusive ex who directly worked with AIDS patients, who had threatened to 'make her unlovable to every other man' if she ever left him.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:31

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

ArbitraryC posted:

As a side note I never knew coupons were so inconvenient, here if it's a place we go to a lot usually you can either just watch out for them in the local packs of ads you get every couple of months or if they're a regional chain or w/e you can usually sign up a junk email for coupons. For the most part the rule generally seems to be that they don't work on friday/sat but anything else is fair game.

Right, coupons from the local paper for a free Chili's app or $5 off at a local pizza place are not a big deal. That's not what he's doing, his coupon was for $50 off $75, so you know right away that's too good to be true in the restaurant business.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:32

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

"Your honor, you are not taking this case with the gravity it deserves. I'll get no justice here. I demand trial by combat. Fox only final destination no items."

Kurieg posted:

"As you can see, the Smash Ball was enabled, which means that this is an Admiralty Tournament."

i'm dying

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:36

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

I've come from 3,000 posts in the past to ask how many of those posts are Pick and people responding to Pick.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:36

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Splicer posted:

I've come from 3,000 posts in the past to ask how many of those posts are Pick and people responding to Pick.

60%

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:37

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

ArbitraryC posted:

It could be the coupons itself being annoying or it could be she's just one of those people who thinks a higher pricetag is a bigger sign of appreciation. We've seen the latter itt a bunch, from insisting rings need to be blood diamonds to rejecting any sort of homemade gift (even from someone who professionally does that craft).

Some people will see you get 50% off a 100 dollar gift and think you cheaped out on your 100$ budget instead of really stretching that 50$ out.

As a side note I never knew coupons were so inconvenient, here if it's a place we go to a lot usually you can either just watch out for them in the local packs of ads you get every couple of months or if they're a regional chain or w/e you can usually sign up a junk email for coupons. For the most part the rule generally seems to be that they don't work on friday/sat but anything else is fair game.

Yeah, there are people for whom a gift is just the value of the relationship quantified with a dollar figure. It totally makes sense that someone like that would end up with a redpiller. I hope they can make each other very very miserable.

Online groupon-style coupons are generally pretty lovely and are designed to cheat both the customer (make it hard to redeem after they've paid cash for it) and the merchant (set prices unprofitably low, sell a HUGE number of coupons, mostly to cheapskates who will never be repeat customers) in favor of the coupon site.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:40

limpy wimpy: Jul 1, 2007

Splicer posted:

I've come from 3,000 posts in the past to ask how many of those posts are Pick and people responding to Pick.

about 70%

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:40

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

And then, after our romantic dinner in Amsterdam, Pete lowered his 6'3" frame to one knee and looked up to me with his sensitive hazel-blue eyes, the moonlight perfectly highlighting his chiseled features.

"This isn't an ultimatum," he said in his silky baritone. "I'm not presenting you with a choice," he continued, tears of joy in his eyes as he produced a small velvet-lined box, "We're getting married."

Pete had better have a semi-precious/precious stone, pearl or lab grown sparklerock on a tasteful and modestly priced gold or silver plated steel band in that box. No blood money for De Beers.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:40

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Splicer posted:

I've come from 3,000 posts in the past to ask how many of those posts are Pick and people responding to Pick.

Less than you'd think, but more than you'd hope.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:44

TERRIBLE SHITLORD: Oct 20, 2005; MY NIGGA HAVE
YOU TRIED LSD

noether posted:

[MA] BANNED FROM SMASH BROS

This rear end in a top hat needs to be shot into the sun with a giant cannon.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:45

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I'd say < 10%

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:47

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

WampaLord posted:

Less than you'd think, but more than you'd hope.

The Ferret King posted:

60%

Checks out

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:53

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Outrail posted:

Whats the in thread split of 'you're a loving psychotic moron' and 'you did nothing wrong!'?

oh they fuckin crucified the guy

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:54

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Splicer posted:

I've come from 3,000 posts in the past to ask how many of those posts are Pick and people responding to Pick.

Why you gotta stir the pot?

# ? Aug 16, 2017 17:58

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 18:08

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

I (32F) found out my bf (46m) is kissing his ex on the lips when they meet, he tells me I have to deal with the fact that he will still keep her in his life, that I should focus on what the two of us have together. What worries me is what we don't have.Relationships (self.relationships)

quote:

I am not here to make him look like an rear end in a top hat. He definitely is not. I am here trying to find out if this is something I can put up with and continue my relationship with him.

In short, we've been dating now for 2 years, he had a 5-year relationship with his ex, previous to ours, they lived together, went through some big problems due to her health and he's been next to her all this time (relevant for the story).

Our relationship is very particular, we are not living together, he does not want to move in with me due to his past (in his own words) because now finally he is living on his own after 20 years of relationships and shared space, and he prefers it this way. We're meeting one or two days during the working week and we spend all the weekends together, having a lot of adventures and very nice dates. He makes me happy when we are together, less so when we are apart and his ex is in the picture.

When we first started dating, she was trying a lot to get him back, she was constantly writing him, calling him when she was having bad times, asking him for help around the house. He was there for her but did tell me about it when it happened that she needed something. He said I have nothing to worry about because he doesn't want a relationship with her, but he does not want to remove her from his life because they went through so much together and he still cares for her in a very platonic way.

Yesterday evening he went to an event she organized, related to his field of work. He told me about it in advance, I knew what it was about and I thought I would be OK with it. During the event I texted him few lines, asking him how it's going there. He didn't write me anything for a couple of hours, even though he knows how uncomfortable I am when they are in the same space together, and we discussed few times asking him not to make me feel excluded from his life when he is around her. It takes few seconds to reply to a message, especially when I know he is checking his phone very often and he replies to her (and other people) when the two of us are spending time together. He finally replied later on that he went to a bar, with the rest of the people from the event, discussing work and that he barely spoke with her but didn't think of checking his phone or that I would have a problem with it. Of course I am fine when we don't chat constantly, I am fine not to hear from him for 3-4 hours but not when he is around his ex, because that's when I feel that I don't exist for him anymore during that time.

So after this, we had a discussion and I found out that they were always kissing on the lips when meeting. He told me he did that because that's how he felt and wanted to do it and that should not concern me because it's not my problem or does not cause me/us any harm.
I felt very sad because I know for a fact that we will never reach that level of affection like he had with her, he would probably not feel the need to kiss me on the lips after our relationship is over and he is with someone else, hypothetically speaking because I don't support this kind of behaviour.

He offered everything to the other women in his life and now because of them, he has limitations when it comes to me. He clearly stated he's not thinking of the two of us living together and he can only give me what we have right now and that I should trust him because he is monogamous, loyal and does not want or need anyone else but me. He admitted what we have is a different kind of relationship than all his other ones but that he likes it a lot and likes me a lot. He asked me if I feel loved, if I feel happy with him and with what we have. I am trying to be honest with myself and the answer is I don't know. I don't think he does indeed love me, I feel he cares for me, he wants us to be happy together but the pure affection that one should feel in a relationship is sometimes not there. And I am afraid he has that for his ex.

We finished the discussion with the question of what we have is enough for me, and that I should deal with the fact that his ex will be part of his life, that he hasn't seen her for three months now and she stopped trying to get him back, that now she has her own life living together with her boyfriend. He said he won't deliberately comfort me when he is around her, that he can't do that. He can just deliberately make me happy when we are together. He said he won't kiss her anymore on the lips if that's what I want. For me, it's not so much the action itself but it's the meaning behind it, the fact that he feels the need to do that.

The definition of what we have: fun dates, trips together, good times in general, evenings in bed with back scratching and movie cuddles, emotional support. very good sex life.

What we don't have:: most probably the love/affection that needs to be there to make you want a real life together, a future family even if that does not involve having kids.

How would one react to that? What should I do next? Continue with this and really trust his words? Get out because it's too weird? I love the time we have together but I don't know what is healthy for me. I don't mind that we are not living together but I do mind when he is not considering my discomfort related to his ex and this pushes me back because it shows me he probably does not really love me.

tl;dr I am pretty sure my bf still feels a lot of affection towards his ex, which he expresses through kissing her on the lips and thinks it's normal. I don't think he wants her back but I know for a fact he has too many limitations with me.

# ? Aug 16, 2017 18:00

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