Haifisch posted:

My Dad [65M] treats me [20F] and my Mom [52F] like a personal chefs and maids.

Haifisch posted:

My Dad [65M] treats me [20F] and my Mom [52F] like a personal chefs and maids.

Haifisch posted:

My Dad [65M] treats me [20F] and my Mom [52F] like a personal chefs and maids.

quote:

I’m a 20something woman in tech. Since day one, I had to fight for a place in this field, convincing interviewers that I could do more than customer support, that I deserve the same opportunities my male counterparts have. To this day, I have only had three jobs (tech support, trainee, and junior developer), and I worked really hard to get each of them.

The problem started when I lost my last job. I returned from a sick leave only to find out I was no longer an employee. My coworkers were shocked and outraged to the point they made my boss apologize. I consulted a lawyer, but there was nothing that could be done. I immediately polished my resume and started job searching. However, the job market toughened during the time I was away. If I get a call, I never go further than the technical interview. Ever.

Enter my parents. They are a bad case of helicopter parents, overprotective and scared. They are the type that would demand full names and phone numbers of everyone at a birthday party, only to drag you out of it hours later because they found someone has a tattoo. They disapproved my choice of career path since day one, saying that is “dangerous,” “full of men,” and “not a place for a sweet girl like you.” They are both retired teachers, and still insist that their field (high school education) is “the best thing that could happen to anyone.” They wish to see me at a high school, teaching teenagers how to type, use text processors and spreadsheets and write letters. When I tell them that that’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, they become aggressive and tell me I should be grateful they pay for my food and haven’t kick me out yet.

A few weeks ago, my father approached me when my mother was shopping and told me that she’s planning to send a letter telling my “tragic story of shattered dreams at the hands of greedy and abusive corporations” to a local newspaper. I’ve seen her staying awake until late hours, but I never imagined this could be the reason. When I approached her, she got defensive and started to say things like “I do this because I love you,” “you’ll thank me later,” “this is the only way you’ll be able to get a job,” and “do you want to end up like your cousin?” (My cousin has an art degree and her unsuccessful job search and minimum wage jobs drove to severe depression and now she lives on welfare.) I tried to explain her that I don’t think this is the way, and that I don’t want to get a job because someone out there pities me, or to be the result of a public relations campaign and become a check in the diversity box. Even if she doesn’t mentions my name, hers will still appear, and as her Facebook profile is linked to my father’s stating their relationship (as in “married to John Smith since 1983”), anyone will be able to find me.

Is there anything else I can say to persuade her to drop the subject?

quote:

Remember my boss, the one who apologised the day I was informed of my layoff? It turned out that he wasn’t involved in the process at all. The manager (the only one allowed to fire and layoff people) thought I was a no-show and decided not to renew my contract while my boss was working from the client offices, without consulting him first. So, when he was told the news he went nuts. The manager returned to our office several weeks later, and my boss confronted him in a loud and angry discussion, and then ragequit! Soon after he left, he was offered a position in a small consulting company created by a local University teacher, and then referred me to the owner, who hired me a on the spot!

However, not everyone was happy. My father criticised my decision, claiming that “it’s too small to be a serious company” (?). On the other side, my mother claims that my ex-boss helping me get a job means he’s in love with me. To me, that doesn’t make sense. I didn’t even try to explain her that pooping where you eat it’s a really bad idea, and I decided to shrug every time she asks me if “there is a hot single guy” there.

And regarding the letter, I’m pretty much sure it wasn’t published. I Googled my mother’s maiden and married name and myself three times a week and nothing of the sort showed up, so I think I can focus in my new job now.

Catalina posted:

Every time I hear about someone like this guy who has an accidental pregnancy because they didn't understand very well about fertility (which I can sympathize with, because my sex education was in a Southern state and lol ) and didn't educate themselves better about birth control and fertility (especially by 45 with three children, what the gently caress), I just shake my head and wish I could just send them this loving picture because that poo poo is way more preventable than people realize: (Spoilered cuz I guess a medical diagram of a dong might be NWS)



For example, I am friends with a married couple who as far as they told me were using a fertility calendar only because they wanted to be all natural, and yup, they had to unexpected children in 8 years, right on the nose. Two very loved and well cared for children, happily, but the parents never realized how much control they potentially did or did not have over the situation.
If you have a normal sex life and get an IUD, it would take you approximately 100 years to get pregnant, statistically speaking, and if you combined that with another method like condoms or even withdrawal, that's what, 500 years? Assuming this guy went with just birth control starting when he was 35...that's a 63% chance that she would have had another pregnancy by this year. And just lol that they went off condoms when she became pre-menopausal because they thought that meant she was now infertile (even more lol worthy that it was "my wife told me" not "the doctor told us"). It's just so depressingly preventable.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

She's working in tech so her boss is probably going to try to get in her pants

maskenfreiheit posted:

dykes on bikes was my favorite part of sf pride


I [26/f] am fed up living with my boyfriend [33/m] who doesn't pay rent but I cannot get him to move out!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Haifisch posted:

My Dad [65M] treats me [20F] and my Mom [52F] like a personal chefs and maids.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

She's working in tech so her boss is probably going to try to get in her pants

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

Me [23F] with my Boyfriend [23F] of 5 months, I confronted his Abusive Ex [23F]Relationships
submitted 46 minutes ago by boyfriendex

A couple weeks ago my boyfriend opened up to me about his previous relationship, where his girlfriend physically abused him. She would hit, threaten, and yell at him. They were together for 2 years, I've now been with him for 5 months. I felt a upset that he took that long to tell me about it, that probably means he felt ashamed about it if it took him that long to even talk about it, and now thinking back throughout our relationship he has shown signs of being an abuse victim. Such as when we'd have arguments he would be very quick to flinch and just apologize, even if he wasn't in the wrong, to try to diffuse the situation. I know his ex-girlfriend, not super well but we have a few mutual friends, and I wanted to confront her about it. When I talked to my boyfriend about that he said he didn't want me to do it, and to just leave it alone. I think maybe he just would feel embarrassed having his girlfriend protect him?

I definitely view that as my responsibility though and it made me so angry to think of how someone could treat him like that, so I still did confront her even though he didn't want me to. I confronted her about being abusive towards him and she denied it, I told her I didn't believe her and stuff, and she started getting angry and telling me that what happened in their relationship is not any of my business, she was very aggressive toward me and we almost like, fought. I'm really angry at her and I wanted to hit her so badly, when my boyfriend found out that I still confronted her about it after he said not to, he got so upset with me and said i knew this was gonna happen, I should've never told you. It makes me so upset that he thinks he shouldn't be able to be open about his feelings with me. He ignored my texts for a day, and now we're talking again and he's asking why I did it and saying that he wishes I didn't bring it up and make it an issue again. I tried telling him that I was just protecting him and he said but it happened long ago (as if that justifies it) and that he didn't want it to become an issue again.

But I think why would he bring it up to me if he didn't want me to do something about it? Like did he expect that I would just say oh okay, and not feel any anger towards that girl at all? I feel bad about if what I did upset my boyfriend but I did it out of being caring of him and wanting to protect him, not out of trying to open up old wounds or something. What's your guys opinion on this? Was I in the wrong? and what should I do?

tl;dr: My boyfriend opened up to me about an abusive ex girlfriend, I confronted her about it and now he's upset with me.

maskenfreiheit posted:

My bf and I have been dating for almost 4 years. Things were good in general but I have been feeling quite upset at some of the things he does and I've been feeling like he doesn't love/care about me as much as before.

Pick posted:

If you are at all attractive, you will get hit on inappropriately by your straight male boss, full stop.

Pick posted:

If you are at all attractive, you will get hit on inappropriately by your straight male boss, full stop.

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Speaking from inexperience?

quote:

Alright, well when I was seventeen I was pregnant with my son, Marco and I had no idea what to do or how to do it. But my mother sure knew what to do once I told her, she took it upon herself to run into my room and go ballistic.

She took my clothes ( that I paid for with my part-time job) and littered them outside while screaming that I would get an abortion since I was out loving the devil. She grabbed me by my neck and kept spitting at my feet, I remained respectful and did not swing back on her. All I did was cry while my younger siblings watched me get thrown to the grass. She even told me my baby would go into the system like me if I had him (she's my adoptive mother).

Months after that I was still in my mother's house,pregnant, and even though she allowed to stay after she made me stay in the garage the remainder of my stay, she treated me horrible. I understood she was mad though. I just never thought I would get that time of treatment from her.

Couple months later I had my sunshine and I was so very scared and confused. All I had were the books I had purchased before my labor to tell me how to raise my baby. I am in no way angry at my mother for not helping me. I had laid down and gotten pregnant with Marco and I would stand up and raise him.

When my baby was settled in my mother was extremely cruel to us. She called my child bastards every time we were in the living room or I was making him a bottle and she often broke the things I needed for his health and care if she saw them in her sight. Anytime I found that out I would explain to her that I nearly collapsed working for the money to get him those things.

She did not care. I had finally saved up enough money to get an apartment across from her home. I lived there for a while, happily might I add. I had Marco's Father take care of him while I was away at work anx everything was falling into its place.

My mother, she called and made multiple complaints on me. Said I littered, left dog poo poo near the houses across from my apartment and that I got drunk every night making so much noise she couldn't sleep. 1. If I was home, it was spent inside with Marco. 2. My dog never once set foot over there. 3. I did not drink, and I always worked at night.

All of my points fell on deaf ears though since I hadn't paid my rent right away, even though I offered it right then and there. I let Marco stay with his father while I searched for somewhere to stay. After a week of looking I had to move back in with my mother.

Now she is even worse. I am 95 pounds on a good day and my mother does not allow me into the kitchen until ten at night, so I have to make my baby's bottle in the bathroom. I use almost all of my paycheck on Marco and save the rest for the rent I have to pay my mom.

She gets violent some days and we end up fighting because she throws things at my baby and even pepper sprayed me because she claimed I got her toilet seat dirty.

How can i fix my relationship with her?

tl;dr: I need help on how to handle my mom and the way she treats my baby and I.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Come to think of it I think Pick has only posted a photo from the neck up

maskenfreiheit posted:

Come to think of it I think Pick has only posted a photo from the neck up

quote:

How can i fix my relationship with her? 

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] really need help and have no idea what to do with my mom [38 F]

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] really need help and have no idea what to do with my mom [38 F]

quote:

My girlfriend has always been very, very smart and kind of manipulative. She is kind of pretentious, she does modeling and comes from a wealthy british family and I am sure a lot of that plays into it.

We get along just fine, we really do. But she has about 50,000 instagram followers, many of whom she sees all the time. Friends, modeling agents, coworkers etc.
The thing is, while her life IS fairly amazing in comparison to my boring office drone life, she still feels the need to lie about it, a lot, on her social media accounts. She tells them she is in Paris and takes a selfie of her with a fancy coffee, when really she is just with me in brooklyn most days. She says she just met with some celebrity or saw a celebrity or something like that. She makes up these fanciful interesting stories that never happened. She lies about how much jewelry and dresses costs. She uses this weird app to make her face look thinner and adjust her body. This is an everyday thing basically.

So I would expect to feel a tiny bit of... idk, shame? in it? But she is so open about it, she thinks its some kind of joke, and that all of the models do it to a certain extent. She asks me to come up with stories that she can tell people happened, or to help her take 'fake' shots, basically areas where she can easily edit a photo and its not obvious. Sometimes I find it funny and get into it too, its fun deceiving people! I wont lie. But she seems to take a bit too much interest into it.

I am not sure if this is like immoral, or it means I shouldnt trust her or something, idk. I just feel like something about it tells me something wrong about her personality that she feels she can manipulate these things, its the equivalent of lying right? But she has also never lied to me, oh no, she is brutally honest with me to the point of ridiculousness haha.

I am just not really sure how to feel or what to do about this. It doesnt DOMINATE her life or anything, she isnt one of those people who is on their phones all the time, but the fact that she has no moral qualms about these things just rubs me the wrong way. And it stretches to other parts of her life too, she is almost too smart and too complex for me in some ways. I dont even know how to put it into words, she is like always in control constantly, not in a bad way really. She reminds me of old Grace Jones interviews, or kind of the sly charisma of james bond. very... idk, like intellectually manipulative? She is always one step ahead of me in a conversation about anything, its like she knows what I am about to say before I even say it, and has the perfect response to it every time. And none of this is bad, but it sometimes feels like I am some child dealing with this master social genius who can outsmart and outplay me at any time.

Im just not sure how to feel about it. I can barely even put the idea of it into words. I do love her, but I feel like she can slip out of my grip at any time. What do I do? How do I feel about her in this way?

tl;dr: Girlfriend has a whole fake instagram with tens of thousands of followers. She is also kind of very manipulative.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

My girlfriend has always been very, very smart and kind of manipulative

quote:

She tells them she is in Paris and takes a selfie of her with a fancy coffee, when really she is just with me in brooklyn most days. She says she just met with some celebrity or saw a celebrity or something like that. She makes up these fanciful interesting stories that never happened. She lies about how much jewelry and dresses costs. She uses this weird app to make her face look thinner and adjust her body. This is an everyday thing basically.

quote:

it sometimes feels like I am some child dealing with this master social genius who can outsmart and outplay me at any time.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Come to think of it I think Pick has only posted a photo from the neck up

Batterypowered7 posted:

No, she's posted full body pictures. She had some cute blue shoes in one I thought my wife would like and she told me the brand but it was forever ago and I forgot what it was.

Jeff Sichoe posted:

Ask the lying model what her plans are when she hits 30