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I thought this was a screenshot of Fallout Shelter or XCOM from a weird angle at first glance. Anyway what a boring mess of a shop. Every shop I have ever been to has every element better than that. The future is boring boxes on boring shelves.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:34
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Serious question: Where does this dragon dildo thing come from? I think I remember a SC ship looking like a dildo, but I might be imagining it.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:34
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Hobold posted:Today has been entertaining. Thanks to everyone that caught those bits of the live streams. Its even worse than I expected it to be. Oh please. That's nuthin'. Wait for Thursday stream.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:34
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D_Smart posted:Will you consider throwing in a Completionist if I took a photo from the booth with my "Derek Smart Was Right" t-shirt? Daym! I only got $5000 in savings  so I have to decline on that. Would be an awesome sight though!
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Aug 24, 2017 01:35
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Fangrim posted:Serious question: 
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Aug 24, 2017 01:36
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Aug 24, 2017 01:36
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kilus aof posted:I thought this was a screenshot of Fallout Shelter or XCOM from a weird angle at first glance. Anyway what a boring mess of a shop. Every shop I have ever been to has every element better than that. The future is boring boxes on boring shelves. What would be really great is an announcement that they are lockboxes and you buy the keys for real $$.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:37
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Fangrim posted:Serious question: I made the mistake of googling it. Never knew the various orifices could stretch like that. I unfortunately think the images might be seared into my brain.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:38
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Fangrim posted:If he designed vaccum cleaners, would they suck? Yes, but only metaphorically.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:38
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Berious posted:how about a hentai with anime dickgirls that cum pictures of spaceships? 
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Aug 24, 2017 01:39
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Polish Avenger posted:An even more sinister view is Cryengine is responsible for any success he's had to this point. It may not get the space game made, but it might have been why it got funded. Imagine how it would have been different if they couldn't make good looking, high quality assets from the drop. Cryengine certainly makes a good looking trailer or static bullshot. Could they have done that in the beginning while building their own engine? Could they have lasted long enough for the engine to be far enough along to produce a few concepts? Honestly, based on what I know of the backers now, he probably could have funded this thing on pencil drawings. Still an interesting question. Crytech built the original demo for Chris "Master Coder" Roberts. It would not have been possible if CR was left to his own devices. He probably couldn't code a batch file these days.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:41
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it's just a first pass i don't see what everyone is getting so worked up about 
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Aug 24, 2017 01:42
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D_Smart posted:Will you consider throwing in a Completionist if I took a photo from the booth with my "Derek Smart Was Right" t-shirt? When this whole thing goes into the history books, I have a Squadron 42 t-shirt I bought in the hopes of someday sending it to you with a fabric marker and SASE.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:44
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Is Redshirt02 one of the insane murderous ones or is that redchris? Either way he stole my Goon valor that Derek stole. https://www.reddit.com/r/DerekSmart/comments/6vix8c/deep_down_even_the_most_faithful_know_that_the/dm0j86s/
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Aug 24, 2017 01:44
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XK posted:Hey Beet, I found a job for that slacker Kayak. Piper owns! In fact that's where I learned about how to get Kayak those cool goggles! I really should make him get a job, all he does all day is chase frisbees and fart on me. Also, on a slightly more serious note - the funny thing about the whole "they just disabled it so people could see each other!" argument is how loving stupid it really is. MOST people would probably stay by each other anyway, since they're all streaming and playing together. Also, letting people go to the other planets that are totally in the game right now would show off more of that sweet sweet procgen everyone's craving. And finally, given the blowback about not being able to leave Turdmar it seems that clearly the smartest choice would have been "let people go wherever in out space sandbox game, and risk the occasional lone player wandering off, I mean after all we cycle in a bunch of new people every ten minutes anyway..." lol
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Aug 24, 2017 01:45
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How do they not know "I'm gay" is a meme? That's ancient by meme standards.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:45
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thatguy posted:Is Redshirt02 one of the insane murderous ones or is that redchris? Either way he stole my Goon valor that Derek stole.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:46
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ManofManyAliases posted:Calm down, big boy. There is only one build. That build is locked to daymar only on a private server. If they had people playing around and quantum jumping all over the place in the full, unlocked build, no one would see each other in the play-throughs. Newsflash. I'm a dev. And yes, I do know all about locking features, only unlocking them for testing etc. But that's not what we're talking about here. So pay attention.... What we're talking about is a 3.0 build in which 99% of what was promised in the build, isn't being played - like right now. Instead, they have a separate CryEngine level (sphere in a box) with some ships and ground vehicles. Basically, Arena Commander on a barren rock. If 3.0 is in ANY state to be shown, as they have said repeatedly, why was it necessary to "chop" it up and make a "demo"? As a dev, only a loving moron would buy that bullshit about people jumping all over the place when in fact, these past years, the very same game has been shown/player in streams - with "people playing around and quantum jumping all over the place in the full, unlocked build" - and nobody complained because, well guess what Princess, that's how large games, especially MMO games, are. That aside from the fact that they bothered to put spawn points on Daymar. Why would they need to do that, when they could very well have left the PU intact, but just have QT from Olisar to Daymar (not even the other two planetoids)? And as they have been touting these moons, the size, scope etc, why now would those very same features be a hindrance?  The current 2.6.3 build is more feature rich than this "3.0 demo". And the former isn't even being played at the show. It's almost as if it doesn't exist anymore, or that they're embarrassed to show/play it live. So what's left to be seen is how much different Chris's presentation build will be on Friday. In the meantime, tomorrow Thurs, we look forward to more ganky poo poo.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:48
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HycoCam posted:I made the mistake of googling it. Never knew the various orifices could stretch like that. I unfortunately think the images might be seared into my brain. Yes, dragon dildos are a real thing. Don't look up ovipositor dildos.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:49
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The Splorch
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Aug 24, 2017 01:51
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Beet Wagon posted:Piper owns! In fact that's where I learned about how to get Kayak those cool goggles! I really should make him get a job, all he does all day is chase frisbees and fart on me. The thing is as well, say people did gently caress off into the distance miles from anywhere, so what? That'd be cool to see if that's what someone wanted to do. I'm starting to think maybe this game isn't as fleshed out as it could be
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Aug 24, 2017 01:52
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XK posted:Yes, dragon dildos are a real thing. counterpoint: do look up ovipositor dildos, and be amazed.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:52
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thatguy posted:We were making fun of the people who said there were secret dev builds almost three years ago. Saying there's a "locked" and "unlocked" game is just a really low effort variation on that. If MoMA can't come up with a more creative excuse than he might as well just be probated. That was a bullshit back then, just as much as it is now. Even when I still supported the project, I never believed secret builds were a thing. Its just soo loving counter intuitive.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:53
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Hey guys you can pilot around a no clip physics free graphics card shaped thing on a literal pig poo poo lagoon for ten minutes WELCOME TO THREE DOT OH
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Aug 24, 2017 01:53
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XK posted:Yes, dragon dildos are a real thing. drat you! I got to "and while this is not a fetish of my own, I saw potential for a unique product line." before stopping myself and realizing shooting planes would be a better use of my time.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:53
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peter gabriel posted:The thing is as well, say people did gently caress off into the distance miles from anywhere, so what? That'd be cool to see if that's what someone wanted to do. Right? "We're building a giant open universe sandbox sim, and in order to show you just how far we've come along in terms of making multiple planets, we're going to lock the demo to one single one missing all of the interesting features it totally already has, because otherwise people would treat it like a sandbox game and we can't have that."
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Aug 24, 2017 01:54
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Fangrim posted:Serious question: https://twitter.com/dsmart/status/900427910363979776
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Aug 24, 2017 01:55
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Beet Wagon posted:Right? "If we want these people to keep giving us money, we can't let them see what we've really done." - A humorous tongue-in-cheek quote from a real game developer - Also, a 100% accurate and non-sarcastic quote from CIG
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Aug 24, 2017 01:56
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thatguy posted:You FOOL! This isn't even the full game! Wait until you see my TRUE build! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM *jingles change cup with solid eye contact*
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Aug 24, 2017 01:56
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Beet Wagon posted:counterpoint: do look up ovipositor dildos, and be amazed. Don't forget the gelatin eggs that break down and ... ooze back out after awhile. That was such a weird loving thread hole to get lost in.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:56
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It's hilarious when I look and see that /r/ds is getting more action than /r/starcitizen, during their most important week. Does that mean I'm more popular than Star Citizen?
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Aug 24, 2017 01:56
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I posted unboxing pictures of this gorgeous toy the other day, and now that I have had a chance to try him out for myself, I can finally review him. Lets just start this off by saying this has to be one of the most unusual toys that I own. I am very much so into alien fetishes, egg laying included. Just another one of my weird fetishes that I love to embrace and nourish. Aliens have always been close to my heart, and closer to my nether regions. I have a soft spot for a good alien toy. While roaming around the inter webs, I stumbled across a small company called Primal Hardwere. They are another company dealing in the realms of fantasy toys. They have a few lovely looking were-able toys that I know I will have my hands on sooner or later, and then, they have the Splorch…an ovipositor dildo! The heavens opened up and sang, and I couldn't click that buy now button fast enough!! There is quite literally nothing like this anywhere else. So for those of you who are into alien play, I think you need to invite this baby to come home with you. Who knows maybe you could have an EGGcellent night! ok ok sorry I had to. Bad pun, but great toy, promise. The Splorch is a dildo that can have silicone, gelatin, or ice eggs inserted into it so it can "deposit" them wherever you like. But a warning to ladies, I said GELATIN not, JELLO. Jello has sugar and that is a huge no no for your Vag. Can you say yeast infection? If you use Jello, that is the road you are headed down. Eggs are inserted into the bottom through an opening, and can be squeezed up the shaft, and out through the top. Sounds intriguing, yes? shipping 10/10 Shipping was quick and easy. I ordered my Splorch and it was in my hands in less than two weeks! Talk about quick for a custom toy! Lets give a round of applause to Primal Hardwere! My Splorch came shipped in a discreet brown box, and was packed neatly inside within a plastic package. The Splorch comes with a free egg mold and several nifty little business cards which was pretty sweet! Not as personal as Exotic Erotic's packaging but still good. Thats not the important part anyway! I ordered my Splorch with these custom options: Size: One size, here are the dimensions- total height: 10.5" shaft length: 9.5" diameter: 2" (without eggs in it) shaft circumference: 6.5" So to put it lightly the Splorch is not for the faint of heart, make no mistake this is a big toy! And notice the girth is 2" WITHOUT eggs, when you add eggs into the mix it becomes a whole other story! Silicone firmness: Comes in one firmness only which is fairly squishy to make it easy to squeeze eggs up the shaft, but it isn't too squishy to where it is not insertable Color: TorchFlame Blue- Primal Hardwere has a list of color options that you can choose for your new egg layer! Now lets skip on over to the review! Oral usage 10/10 As you know, no new toy can be correctly initiated into my family without a good tonguing. It's simply protocol that I do so! The Splorch was no exception. I cleaned the Splorch several times before use because it seemed to have a layer of baby powder like material on it, I wasn't really sure what that was but with a few washings it came right off! Whew! I explored the tip of the ovipositor first, running my tongue over its pincers, dipping my tongue down into the shaft. The fact that the Splorch is hollow opens up a whole new world of oral play, it is incredibly fun to slide your tongue in and out of both the entrance of the Splorch and the exit. The Splorch's shaft is mostly smooth except for a slight few very raised lovely veins running down it. It's base is surround by raised scales, and a sheath from which the shaft rises from. These are extremely lovely, you can tell that this toy was hand crafted and this for me is a good thing! Being an artist I highly respect that someone actually took the time to hand mold this toy! The Splorch is pretty girthy so getting all of it into my mouth to deep throat was a challenge since I have a very small mouth. But the filling sensation of it choking me was amazing! Then I could not help but to wonder…what if I made ice eggs? And…laid them in my mouth!? So I did just that. I popped the egg maker i received with my Splorch into the freezer and waited a few hours. Once mostly frozen I went to work. I decided the best place for play with this toy is by far the tub. This is a MESSY toy! This is not a toy that I would want to play with on my fine leather couch, no thanks! haha! So this was to be my first test with inserting the eggs. I was a little worried about this aspect of the toy. Before ordering a toy I normally try and read up on it. Unfortunately with the Splorch there are not to many reviews! The two or three I did find complained that the eggs were hard to insert therefore defeating the purpose of the toy. The insertion hole at the bottom was simply too small to fit an egg easily. This seriously worried me. And yet another review told the toy was too girthy for them so they had no review on actual insertion or the egg laying while inside one's body. This also worried me. But me being me, I figured I needed to know for myself. I am ECSTATIC to report that I had NONE of these problems. After some research on the reviews, all of which were pretty old, I am happy to report that Primal Hardwere has resolved the problem of the insertion hole for the eggs being too small. Before it was about the size of a penny, now it is bigger than a quarter. I popped my frozen eggs out of the mold and put a tad bit of Bad Dragon's cumlube into the shaft of my Splorch. I didn't put too much because I was planning on putting these eggs in my mouth! Bad Dragon's cumlube doesn't exactly taste like an Oreo or anything. But in a tiny amount it doesn't bother me. I grabbed my first ice egg and gently pushed it into the bottom of the Splorch using my palm to push it until the toy sucked it in. No problems of having to force it in, or having it shoot back out across the room or anything. I pushed the egg slowly up through the shaft, watching the Splorch grow as the egg traveled up and that was enough to turn me on. The shaft swelled bigger and bigger as the egg came to the top and then suddenly…EGG LAUNCH! The egg popped out and flew across the tub. This Ovipositor does not deposit eggs slowly. No matter how slow you push them, they always come out like a little rocket launcher. This could be a problem for some, but I on the other hand went into a mad spree launching eggs as far as possible. I hand't even had it inside of me and I was already in love. I found that I can fit three eggs inside the Splorch, but add a fourth and one pops out, so it has a three egg max. The eggs are the size of normal chicken eggs, but after playing with the Splorch for a while the eggs began to melt and this had a totally new sensation. I would slowly push an egg up through the shaft and as they began to melt it would result in a nice dose of chilled water leaking from the tip just before the egg would deposit. This sensation was wonderful. Just before popping an egg into my mouth I would let the cold water run over my chest and down my torso. Temperature play is another of my favorite fetishes and this toy serviced that as well. Also if the chicken sized egg is too big for your mouth, just let the ice eggs melt a little and its much more enjoyable for those with a small mouth like me. This of course doesn't work with silicone eggs or gelatin eggs. So as far as oral goes this was one of the most exhilarating toys I have! And I give an A+ to the bigger hole for inserting eggs! So for any of you wondering how the toy works in that aspect its wonderful. It does exactly what it was designed to do. Though be careful when launching eggs during oral play, I nearly gave myself a black eye once or twice. Vaginal play 10/10 So once I had my fill of egg launching I was ready for this alien to use me for it's willing host. I lubed the Splorch up, and attempted to insert him without eggs first, just to get a feel for him. Though the Splorch is made of very flimsy silicone, he is surprisingly pretty easy to insert. You do have to hold onto his base firmly to get him inside since he is very floppy there, but thats no big hurtle to get over. The Splorch's prongs give a very interesting sensation once inserted. They feel nice and flexible within me and when thrusting they move separately and press against different places which is a very nice detail. Though he is a girthy thing, I prefer larger toys so this was no big thing for me. So then I decided to insert some eggs. I started off with just one to get a feel for it. I reinserted the Splorch and slowly sank down upon him until i had taken about half his length, I didn't want to take too much of him so I could still have room for an egg. I slowly squeezed the egg up his shaft, but a warning for those who are not girth seekers, when inserting a chicken sized egg, the Splorch's size grow tremendously! This may be a problem for those who cannot take large girths. With eggs inserted I measured him at about a 2.5" girth roughly. But never fear, if you are using ice eggs, simply let them melt down to a smaller size and then its much easier to handle. But what a sight to behold! The alien's shaft growing, its bulge getting closer and closer to my body, ready to lay its offspring in my willing body. I bit my lip in anticipation. I slowly pulled the Splorch out little by little, forcing the egg to squeeze up gradually until the frozen egg slowly slid up out of the Splorch and lodged within me. When inserted the Splorch no longer launches eggs, it simply gently lays them within you with a small pop. Initially all I could think was "oh lord that is cold!" If you are not into temperature play I would not suggest ice eggs. They are very very cold, obviously. haha. But the intense feeling of the cold within me had me writhing in pleasure, that thin line between pleasure and pain from the biting, numbing chill. I clenched my muscles to keep the egg within my body, I wanted to feel it melt within me. I could only imagine a great alien leader smiling down at her little pet human, her egg successfully laid within my body. The chill of her offspring flowing through my body. As I held the egg inside of me, I inserted a second egg into the Splorch and proceeded to play with its egg laying qualities as I relished in the cold feeling of the egg still inside me. I could feel the cold water leaking from me as the egg began to melt, it was glorious! I then laid back and rubbed the shaft and pincers against the outside of my vagina and my clit. Within minutes of my alien queen pleasuring me I came to dripping, wet orgasm. I slumped down against the back of the tub and simply enjoyed the throws of my orgasm. Nothing can even come close to how wonderful this toy is. It's visual effect, its usage, just everything. I have never had more fun all around with any other toy! Though the Splorch is not exactly a "quickie" toy. He is more of the long toying session type. I spent nearly an hour and a half simply playing with him and enjoying him. This is a toy that deserves that long to be appreciated and enjoyed! Anal Usage: I have not tried the Splorch anally. Though since once again he has a large base, he is anal safe. That being said silicone eggs, and gelatin eggs are NOT safe for anal! Unless the silicone eggs have cords for retrieval. You can purchase silicone eggs with retrieval cords from a company called Frisky Beast. And even then I would be very very careful when using them for anal play. You don't want any eggs going missing in your backside. That would make for an awkward doctor's visit, and nobody wants that! Though ice eggs are perfectly safe, since they will eventually melt. I have also found that you can Freeze Bad Dragon's cumlube, so you can make some super awesome cumlube eggs that will melt within you for a slick, sticky experience. These eggs are safe for anal or vaginal play. 10/10 for the Splorch in my opinion! I decided to start listing pros and cons on my review also since some may have a few issues with the Splorch. The pros: 1. There is literally nothing else like it on the market 2. Great for those with alien or egg laying fetishes 3. Customizable 4. Lots of ways to use it The cons: 1. Large girth isn't the greatest for inexperienced users and they do not offer a smaller size. 2. May be too out of the ordinary for some But for those of you fellow alien lovers out there, this is the perfect toy for you. I love mine and he will for sure be getting plenty of use from me! Go check out Primal Hardwere and all their lovely fantasy toys! The queen alien wants you! Happy toying!-Ashes
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Aug 24, 2017 01:56
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thatguy posted:How do they not know "I'm gay" is a meme? That's ancient by meme standards. Because they're loving morons? Like you have to ask.
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Aug 24, 2017 01:58
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Beet Wagon posted:Right? 
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Aug 24, 2017 02:00
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My favorite part of Gamescom is the other developers sneaking peeks at the CIG booth then coming back to their buddies with these wild eyed looks, trying to hold back all the laughter. I think part of the reason everyone has those oversized monitors is so the real game devs can hide their laughter behind them without coming off as unprofessional. - What's that stuff, whose booth is that gonna be? - Dude, that's the Star Citizen booth. - No way! Oh my god... - Dude I'm serious. - They're still going? - Check the screen, check the screen, look what they're showing... - How long have they been working on this now? - Seriously? - Dude drinking game, every time it crashes, we take a drink Every court needs its jester.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:01
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Fangrim posted:Serious question: 
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Aug 24, 2017 02:02
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MilesK posted:I posted unboxing pictures of this gorgeous toy the other day, and now that I have had a chance to try him out for myself, I can finally review him. Lets just start this off by saying this has to be one of the most unusual toys that I own. I am very much so into alien fetishes, egg laying included. Just another one of my weird fetishes that I love to embrace and nourish. Aliens have always been close to my heart, and closer to my nether regions. I have a soft spot for a good alien toy. While roaming around the inter webs, I stumbled across a small company called Primal Hardwere. They are another company dealing in the realms of fantasy toys. They have a few lovely looking were-able toys that I know I will have my hands on sooner or later, and then, they have the Splorch…an ovipositor dildo! The heavens opened up and sang, and I couldn't click that buy now button fast enough!! There is quite literally nothing like this anywhere else. So for those of you who are into alien play, I think you need to invite this baby to come home with you. Who knows maybe you could have an EGGcellent night! ok ok sorry I had to. Bad pun, but great toy, promise. The Splorch is a dildo that can have silicone, gelatin, or ice eggs inserted into it so it can "deposit" them wherever you like. But a warning to ladies, I said GELATIN not, JELLO. Jello has sugar and that is a huge no no for your Vag. Can you say yeast infection? If you use Jello, that is the road you are headed down. Eggs are inserted into the bottom through an opening, and can be squeezed up the shaft, and out through the top. Sounds intriguing, yes? 
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Aug 24, 2017 02:02
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fuckin lol at that snype
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Aug 24, 2017 02:03
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lazorexplosion posted:lol Like Amazon Web Services EC2 with auto-scaling?
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Aug 24, 2017 02:04
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Crazypoops posted:Okay, I'm convinced this is a gimmick account now. I swear to everything that is holy that I am not faking and am a true backer.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:05
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