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Hello nu madter I have a whdetikn for him. I came into the room and found him j. A hard, how can I get him into t also forgive me to my poor you I have no gangs I have you use a break.
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Aug 23, 2017 15:42
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Sorry for the previous post. My familiar was trying to send a message for help with his beak. The demon tricked me and I am now in the jar. He took the soul that was in here and took human form, then left. I have conjured an unseen servant, which I was able to have pull out a battery from my Amazon Fire remote, wrap that in some foil, and use as a phone stylus to write this post. I am about 8 inches tall right now and I am not really sure how airtight this jar is. It seems ok. But I really need to open this thing now. I foolishly had my familiar drop it from height but it didn't break and I think I broke a leg. And to rub salt in the wound, there's a lot of salt in here from my earlier attempt to bind the demon. Teleportation is in my barred school. I can summon my own food in here but I'm not carrying any of my books with my most useful spells. They're voice warded in my study but my voice is high pitched and isn't activating the unlock. I've got some of my lighter spellbooks with lower level spells but these have had little effect on the bottle. The fumes from this acid arrow aren't great and I'm woozy. Hard to concentrate and cast spells. I've hosed up. I'm going to have to magic the poo poo out of this.
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Aug 23, 2017 18:01
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Skypie posted:Goddamn, here we are talking about keeping the Laws and in strolls someone who wiped out not just a college but managed to ice the manifestation of virtue and justice in the Fourth Mortal Realm. Very important, make sure you will your properties and assets to your new host. Or at the very least, let your minions and friends know what's going on otherwise at best there's a lot of unnecessary confusion, at worst you're going to lose everything in probate. If you're a long time body swapper, adopt healthy orphans or even better befriend and apprentice the children of local gentry. That way you can end up inheriting their assets.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:29
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im wondering is any demonomancers cant help me out w/ a quick q: the nine hells linked to my astral plane were recently restructured into a 7 circle system and im having a devil of a time(heh) redoing all my infernal pacts. Do I really have to redo everything or can I just amend my previous agreements?
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Aug 24, 2017 02:32
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This is why you need to be very careful about jurisdictions. Make pacts with specific entities and their TRUE secret names. If domains have the same names and the and property lines haven't been redrawn you should be fine.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:38
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Sorry for the previous post. My familiar was trying to send a message for help with his beak. The demon tricked me and I am now in the jar. He took the soul that was in here and took human form, then left. I have conjured an unseen servant, which I was able to have pull out a battery from my Amazon Fire remote, wrap that in some foil, and use as a phone stylus to write this post. I am about 8 inches tall right now and I am not really sure how airtight this jar is. It seems ok. But I really need to open this thing now. I foolishly had my familiar drop it from height but it didn't break and I think I broke a leg. And to rub salt in the wound, there's a lot of salt in here from my earlier attempt to bind the demon. I assume you've tried Bigby's Opening Hand? I mean, it's pretty basic stuff, but... Have Blue posted:im wondering is any demonomancers cant help me out w/ a quick q: It's their responsibility to keep any outstanding commitments regardless of restructuring. As long as these pacts are with devils, not demons.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:56
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I still can't believe it's the 21st century and people still try to make pacts with demons and Elder Gods
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Aug 24, 2017 04:28
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Skypie posted:I still can't believe it's the 21st century and people still try to make pacts with demons and Elder Gods its pretty traditional i will admit, but it remains one of the best ways to leverage your soul for further power. The standard contract has come a long way and there are more exotic alternatives like damned derivatives and soul options trading if you want returns comparable to more modern methods
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Aug 24, 2017 04:34
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Demonic contracts are forever, broseph. No statute of limitations once a deal is struck.
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Aug 24, 2017 04:37
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Have Blue posted:its pretty traditional i will admit, but it remains one of the best ways to leverage your soul for further power. The standard contract has come a long way and there are more exotic alternatives like damned derivatives and soul options trading if you want returns comparable to more modern methods The best thing about damnation derivatives is that souls aren't subject to market value fluctuations like real estate is.
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Aug 24, 2017 04:41
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Demonic contracts are forever, broseph. i dunno what its like on your plane but contracts here include a buyout clause, and the Hells (I guess i should be saying the Circles now) maintain their own courts for contract disputes that go all the way up to the Princes themselves. e: like i get i should diversify my power, and i've done so. I just wanna make sure that my minor deals like command of hellfire and the ability to summon an army of devils hold up through the transition Have Blue fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Aug 24, 2017 |
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Aug 24, 2017 04:44
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Oh, they're getting with the times, I see. Most of my contracts are grandfathered in.
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Aug 24, 2017 05:06
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I gave up on demonic contracts when I got burned by one a long time ago and lost an expensive lair and phylactery to fine print. I'd rather try to bargain with the fuckin fae courts
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Aug 24, 2017 05:31
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Skypie posted:I gave up on demonic contracts when I got burned by one a long time ago and lost an expensive lair and phylactery to fine print. gently caress no man, I know a guy who tried to get ahold of some glamor from the fey. When he went to test it it worked fine, but turns out he can't actually stop it, so now he's stuck as a chair
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Aug 24, 2017 05:36
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The problem wth Fae bargains is you're only likely to get something resembling a fair deal from the Seelie Court, and even then, they're gonna gently caress with you more than normal for being "evil." The Faewild is a great place to hide a phylactery if you can secure a hiding place, though, let me tell you.
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Aug 24, 2017 06:49
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Automatic Slim posted:The best thing about damnation derivatives is that souls aren't subject to market value fluctuations like real estate is. Wait, what happens when the demon overlord changes? I mean this isn't Lucifer we're talking about, those guys actually aren't top dogs forever! Can't they change things up to screw with valuations, like soul transaction fees or dark pact "regulation" or something? I think personal contracts are the way to go, still.
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Aug 24, 2017 06:50
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Goa Tse-tung posted:Wait, what happens when the demon overlord changes? I mean this isn't Lucifer we're talking about, those guys actually aren't top dogs forever! Can't they change things up to screw with valuations, like soul transaction fees or dark pact "regulation" or something? If someone tells you he can beat the odds in terms of soul values and the relative worth of various pacts in the hell markets, you should promptly zap his essence out of his body and stuff it in a karmic torture chamber
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Aug 24, 2017 06:56
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Demonic pacts and bargains of any sort are a bit moronic. Tricking and binding several lesser and minor demons can get you enough power to match a potentially dangerous eldritch bargain.
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Aug 24, 2017 18:39
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I think it can vary depending on the conjurations and just how you set up the Triangle of Art. Are you calling then up just to chat or are you taking a commanding and bossy tone, with the Spirit Chain and everything? With Goetic spirits tone and attitude really do matter.
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Aug 24, 2017 19:20
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My bet is still on the side of traditional pacts. Derivatives and options just seem like a long-con. Eventually one of the big players is going to crash the system by deliberately causing a minor apocalypse, and then they'll collect on your rear end.
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Aug 24, 2017 19:59
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basic hitler posted:Demonic pacts and bargains of any sort are a bit moronic. Tricking and binding several lesser and minor demons can get you enough power to match a potentially dangerous eldritch bargain. Well, only an idiot tries to bargain with a demon. You bargain with devils. Demons, you bind.
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Aug 24, 2017 20:45
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How many skeletons is too many skeletons
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Aug 24, 2017 21:51
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Mr.Tophat posted:How many skeletons is too many skeletons No such thing. Sedlec Ossuary or bust, I say!
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Aug 24, 2017 22:22
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Skeletons are good but i am discovering the hidden joy of golems since I've been on the run
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Aug 24, 2017 22:29
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Well, only an idiot tries to bargain with a demon. You bargain with devils. Demons, you bind. oh man, i bet some devil has got you wrapped around his eldritch finger. a devil will screw you over with some "well technically you said..." lawyer bullshit even worse than a wish spell
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Aug 24, 2017 22:32
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Guys, mind if I ask for some advice? I've been giving my skeletons skeleton armor (armor made from skeletons) and skeleton swords, skeleton bows, etc you name it. Originally it was just because I'm cheap and hate seeing all the skeleton fragments after my armies conquer (since so many get crunched in the process)and I want to to recoup my investments. Anyways it turns out the skeletons totally hate it. Like, apparently they feelSUPER awkward about wielding a battle ax made out the the hip bones of a fallen comrade and it's hurting moral. Not sure why mindless reanimated skeletons have feelings in the first place beyond following orders and an endless lust for MEAT. I mean I'd HATE to think what they'd say if they found out that the MEAT I pay them with is their own flesh that their fellow skeletons gnawed off of them in the process of being skeleton-ed, which then falls to the ground of my frozen ice labyrinth after they mush it around their teeth a little (that's why I keep the labyrinth frozen, plus it saves on heating bills) naem fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Aug 25, 2017 |
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Aug 25, 2017 02:31
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naem posted:Guys, mind if I ask for some advice? I've been giving my skeletons skeleton armor (armor made from skeletons) and skeleton swords, skeleton bows, etc you name it. Have you tried making it into bonemold so they can't tell what it is? Skeletons have no brains and as such shouldn't be capable of making that connection.
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Aug 25, 2017 03:23
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basic hitler posted:I've been in hiding. How do i lose the heat from slaughtering an entire light side college including high paladin inquisitor Movrain? I have no idea how, but they have a blood sample so they can reliably track me now. Ive been moving every 36 hours but frankly im running out of hiding spots. I cant return to my lair as there are too many critical items not least of which are the phylacteries of several wizards.... Summon a 4th dimensional horror to devour your current time shard and go to another. If you're not 4th dimensional yet, summon a devil and a devil lawyer and a counter devil lawyer to transport you.
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Aug 25, 2017 03:59
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Hey popping in with another q: Heading to a sick arcane melee tommorrow but it's byob (Bring your own battlestaff). I'm not sure what to bring, was gonna go with a blasting rod but it seems a little gauche for such a big event. Any suggestions?
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Aug 25, 2017 04:10
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A Rod of Lordly Might. It's a multi-tool of death and Arcane terror.
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Aug 25, 2017 04:18
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Mad Hamish posted:Have you tried making it into bonemold so they can't tell what it is? Skeletons have no brains and as such shouldn't be capable of making that connection. I mean the only word they ever say is MEAT and they have no facial features; but sometimes I catch them holding their weapon up in front of them, then they shake their head as if in disbelief and walk around with their shoulders slumped all day
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Aug 25, 2017 04:26
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Have Blue posted:Hey popping in with another q: Do you want to win? Take the staff that will make you win. Winning is everything. If you wanted to be honorable you could have chosen to be some kind of knight, death or otherwise. GRILLARY CLINTON posted:oh man, i bet some devil has got you wrapped around his eldritch finger. a devil will screw you over with some "well technically you said..." lawyer bullshit even worse than a wish spell My entire family are lawyers, I think I'm good. Well, they all were back when I was a human, lichin' ain't easy. Anyway, I haven't had to rely on arcane bargains of any sort for aeons now, they're mostly for your initial growth phase, and smart liches buy them all back before moving on to dimensional conquest. Mr.Tophat posted:How many skeletons is too many skeletons Three less than all the grains of sand on the jeweled oil-beaches of Phyrexia. Skypie posted:For me, it's 100% The Law of Equivalency. Like, Christ, I get it. "There must always be a balance." "Without good, there can be no evil. Without evil, there can be no justice." We're all linked by threads of fate in this vast multiverse. Well, since nobody else even tried to bribe me, The Law Of Equivilency will now be both a thing and perverted. Verily, prepare for a World of Darkness as soon as it takes, which could be anywhere from a few minutes to when the shadows of the Night Vale tear down the walls of The Dog Park from the inside, forsooth. So, y'know, soonish? Anyway, this Perversion of Law will make "evil" easier and existence more like the cover of a heavy metal album, so that's pretty sweet.
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Aug 25, 2017 06:36
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I think some creep in the minor city Elkenheim is using the town to breed some kind of eldritch or planar swarm creature. He is likely some kind of infected host. Passing through the sewers i found several infected human corpses. I had to cast extremely revealing shield magic and perform a flesh purge. Some small creatures actually were already in my body as of the purge and i am having to do regular purges to ensure every last one is removed. You all know how lovely this crap is. I try to live and let live, but someone needs to obliterate that place as whoever controls the swarm has no respect for fellow dark wizards and if that town is incubating a large swarm, this plane is hosed when it hatches or matures. When those paladins go traipsing through there they're gonna carry it to major cities and i don't think it will be containable at that juncture.
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Aug 25, 2017 07:48
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naem posted:I mean the only word they ever say is MEAT and they have no facial features; but sometimes I catch them holding their weapon up in front of them, then they shake their head as if in disbelief and walk around with their shoulders slumped all day I suspect a sympathetic connection, always hated those things. Nobody likes sympathy, what are we, Neutral Good??? Bonemould really seems to be your best bet.
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Aug 25, 2017 08:02
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Sometimes for a laugh I would take parts from one skeleton and swap them on another. I don't know if it's a result of the particularities of my flavor of necromancy (apprenticed under a witch doctor) but all the bones from one fella have the same awareness and such even if it's been taken apart. Swap the skulls of two of them and put them in different rooms, the bodies will react to what the original skull sees even though it's not attached anymore. Problem is all these dang bones look pretty much identical to me, and now I can't tell which ones have been swapped around or not. It's pretty bad when your personal guard armored swordskell starts swinging its blade around in my lab and breaks all my reagent jars and nearly takes my damned head off because it's arm belongs to one of the drudge skeletons and it's trying to scare off a gnome bard outside or some poo poo How do you fellas handle skeleton inventory management anyways? I haven't been able to find much in the way of advice on this. I know most people just raise a bunch of bones and don't give a gently caress, but I've got my rattling servants all specialized into appropriately humiliating roles from the suckers they were in life. For example the fat noble bastard who never did a lick of labor in his entire life now gets to scrub the latrines and cesspits forever. I could just swap him out but that weakens the curse I've bound him with.
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Aug 25, 2017 13:34
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That's easy you just give em a quick coat of paint. Obviously the more skeletons you have the less viable this becomes, but there are A LOT of paint colors at the home Depot, and the samples are cheap. You have to see the reactions of adventurers when a crowd of rainbow skeletons come shuffling by. I got out of the jar by the way. A cantrip was able to pitch my voice deep enough to sound normal so I unlocked my spellbook and prepared Bigby's crushing hand which just barely did the trick. I'm still 3 inches tall however. But that's actually fine. It seems I have just as much strength as I did before and with my lesser weight my jumping is kind of loving insane right now. My spells are just as potent as before, I'm like mighty mouse or something. I don't mean to brag but among wizards I am probably one of the most jacked you'll run into. I actually was a wrestler and a boxer in college. To still have those skills and be 3 inches tall with my bones seemingly as tough as ever, getting tricked by that demon was a blessing. I ordered a Uber and drained the life force of the driver to heal my broken leg. Then I made his still fresh corpse a zombie and had him continue doing rides and go home and to bed before I dispelled it so he'll look like he died in his sleep. And the best part, I was able to ride my bird familiar like a Roc to get back home. I hope this never wears off.
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Aug 25, 2017 13:48
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GenericOverusedName posted:Sometimes for a laugh I would take parts from one skeleton and swap them on another. I don't know if it's a result of the particularities of my flavor of necromancy (apprenticed under a witch doctor) but all the bones from one fella have the same awareness and such even if it's been taken apart. Swap the skulls of two of them and put them in different rooms, the bodies will react to what the original skull sees even though it's not attached anymore. Run Bone Utility and then Repair Bone Permissions.
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Aug 25, 2017 16:48
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Ugh I hate having to defragment my bone drive it always takes forever
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Aug 27, 2017 04:57
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GenericOverusedName posted:Ugh I hate having to defragment my bone drive it always takes forever Lol if you dont use a crystal os. Have fun buying a new skeleton everytime the skull gets cracked
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Aug 27, 2017 05:05
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:
Looks like I am going to put in some evil overtime this weekend.
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Aug 30, 2017 12:21
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