/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

maskenfreiheit posted:

My [17F] stepfather [50sM] acts very inappropriately toward me and I don�t know what to tell my pregnant mother [39f]

"He fell down the stairs."

# ? Aug 27, 2017 08:34

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:02

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I (19 M) told my GF (19 F) to "Go away" when we both drunk and tired

quote:

Me and GF have been together for 4-5 months. Known each other for 7 years, and were best friends in the majority of that time. We've been very open about any problem that crops up, and it's going along really well.

This poo poo has happened twice now, though.

We will be playing a drinking game until around 3-4 AM, and we'll both just fall asleep on the sofas downstairs. GF will wake up first, and ask me if I want to sleep upstairs in bed with her instead (beats a bloody sofa).

Now any other time, I would've said "Yes" immediately (I love my girlfriend a ridiculous amount). But case in point last night: apparantely (I have no memory of this happening whatsoever) I just sort of mumbled "Go away". She asked twice, I said it both times!

I'm pretty sure this can't be a hidden sort of resentment manifesting itself, because I love this person to death. We've known each other for a long time, had a few arguments, but we're going on really well, and I loving love it.

She seemed really down about it this morning, and I can't blame her. I feel like a complete piece of poo poo, and am going to stay away from late night drinking games in the future. I don't think it's worth trying to change how I act when I'm tired, because I can't even remember myself when I am.

I can't tell if this is some dark part of my conciousness asserting itself, or I'm just really cranky when I'm tired. GF already has some major issues with self esteem and body image, and it loving hurts me that I would say this to her. I'm planning some kick-rear end way to make it up to her, but does anyone have any other advice on what to do from here regarding avoiding this situation? I want her to feel happy and loved all the time, and I want to do anything to avoid this happening again.

Tl;DR - Me and GF play drinking game until we're drunk and tired, I mumble "Go away" instead of going to bed. Feel like poo poo.

Edit: Over-reacting, we got over it pretty quick

Is it possible that I host an evil consciousness within me waiting for my darkest moments to assert itself and wreak havoc upon those I love, or is it because I was drunk and asleep? :thinking:

# ? Aug 27, 2017 12:33

Lasca: May 8, 2007

LadyPictureShow posted:

Does anyone understand the 'our friends call us Meegan and Andre' reference? Am I just an old?

I think it's a Key and Peele thing

https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLVoYqwht8uzCIQszEqqpjZFaoyu7guIg5&params=OAFIAVgC&v=y3JOQqoCNjc&mode=NORMAL

# ? Aug 27, 2017 13:20

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Fleeeeegs

I [17F] fell into the ocean and my friend [17M] gave me his spare clothes to wear. My dad is freaking out because "a mans shirt is like a flag of victory." apparently.

quote:

u/nEVOUS
Yesterday I went out with some of my friends on a boat into the ocean to just hang out. I had never been and even thought it would be fun. It's a big boat so we were able to play some music and have a good time. My friend Adrian is kinda rich but you'd never know it. He comes off completely normal and it was his dad's boat. Yes his dad was with us and was the one driving it.

I was on the dock and I slipped on the wooden planks. I went headfirst into the ocean. It's almost the end of winter entering spring in Aus. Andy took me into his place and gave me some of his track pants, shirt and a spare hoodie to wear. His dad was washing my stuff. My mom picked my up and I went home still wearing Andy's stuff. She told my dad what happened (he doesn't live with us) and he's freaking out. He said he's seen pictures of Andy on Facebook with his shirt off. (he works out). He's going on and on to my family on how a mans shirt on a woman is like a flag of victory that you had sex with her.

tl;dr: My dad is acting like an idiot and I need to know how to get him to stop because he isn't listening. I never had sex with Andy. His dad was there the entire time and he's not allowed to have girls in his room with the door closed.

Oh no, my daughter was on the end of an act of kindness from a classy guy whose Dad owns a boat. This is terrible because...

# ? Aug 27, 2017 14:57

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

Danaru posted:

I (19 M) told my GF (19 F) to "Go away" when we both drunk and tired

Is it possible that I host an evil consciousness within me waiting for my darkest moments to assert itself and wreak havoc upon those I love, or is it because I was drunk and asleep? :thinking:

about every other time my husband falls asleep in his Dad Chair and I poke him to come to bed instead he tries to swat me away like a fly and goes "nooooooooo" like a toddler but my immediate reaction isn't "OH NO HE DOESN'T LOVE ME", it's "this fucker could sleep through the apocalypse, jesus christ, fine, I'll go cuddle with the cat instead" and I go pass out like a sane person

but we are in our 30s and not 19, teenagers are stupid

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:05

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Milotic posted:

Fleeeeegs

I [17F] fell into the ocean and my friend [17M] gave me his spare clothes to wear. My dad is freaking out because "a mans shirt is like a flag of victory." apparently.

Oh no, my daughter was on the end of an act of kindness from a classy guy whose Dad owns a boat. This is terrible because...

you don't understand, what happens when dad isn't the best dude at absolutely everything who daddy's little girl loves the mostest? what happens when someone is better? :qq:

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:07

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

you don't understand, what happens when dad isn't the best dude at absolutely everything who daddy's little girl loves the mostest? what happens when someone is better?

my god - he'll have no reason to live!

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:38

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Milotic posted:

Fleeeeegs

I [17F] fell into the ocean and my friend [17M] gave me his spare clothes to wear. My dad is freaking out because "a mans shirt is like a flag of victory." apparently.

Tell your dad not to worry, the shirt had yellow fringe

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Tell your dad not to worry, the shirt had yellow fringe

It comes from a boat, it is already an admiralty shirt

# ? Aug 27, 2017 15:53

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Milotic posted:

Fleeeeegs

I [17F] fell into the ocean and my friend [17M] gave me his spare clothes to wear. My dad is freaking out because "a mans shirt is like a flag of victory." apparently.

Oh no, my daughter was on the end of an act of kindness from a classy guy whose Dad owns a boat. This is terrible because...

I misread the OP as male at first and thought the dad was reeeeaaaally reaching on a homophobic reading. I then wondered if during his life a friend might've asked for/ offered him a shirt, only to have him freak out and :sever:

.

Still mighta happened.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:19

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

My [22F] GF hid a text message from me [22M] I'm worried about her reasons to do that

quote:

So, I'll try to give the most details I can about this.

I was in a small concert yesterday with my gf from 1 year, and by the end of it we were both sitting on a bench, side to side. I turned my head to her and gave a quick look at her cellphone, unconsciously. She was texting someone but very quickly turned off the screen. I found that strange, and a few minutes later she opened her phone again just to quickly close the text page. That got in my head, but I only talked to her about it later.

So, A little context. It's very hard to me to get jealous or to doubt my gf. I never looked trough her phone, for example, or facebook messages. She, on the other side, is very jealous of me, and she goes trough my messages ocasionally - which I hate it very much, and she's doing it less now.

We had a few fights about things she saw on my phone, like me liking some of my ex photos - which I acknowledge was kind of a bad move to her but never with the intention of cheating or anything like that - and me talking to a friend of mine whom she doesn't like it at all. But I was always open about these things, never deleted messages (even when I knew i got get in some kind of trouble) or changed my password because I never had anything to hide.

So, when we got home, I "confronted" her about it. At first I tought that was just a random burst of jealousy, but I couldn't that out of my had. So I said to her that it was probably nothing, just something of my head, I apologised for being kinda of strange by the end of the night. Her reaction was a bit weird, and she said the texts were to a guy of her college that was doing a project similar to hers. After a while, still with that thing on my head, I asked her if I could take a look at the massage, to clear my head of that and move on. She said she deleted it.

I got really pissed about that. She never gave me any reason to doubt her or not to trust her, but that was outrageous. By that moment I knew something was off. I asked her why did she deleted it, she said that she realized I got strange after seeing the message and she deleted it to prevent further trouble. That doesn't make sense at all. Again, I'm rarely jealous of her and never had trouble about her talking to other guys. I wouldn't be mad if I could read the content of the text and saw it was nothing. She couldn't have known that I was upset about the text because it was unespected ever for me. The other point is that, had she shown me the text, and if it was nothing, there would be no fight.

We fought over it, I showed the inconsistencies of her arguments, that didn't make any sense, and she got emotional, started crying a lot. I asked her exactly the content of the text, and she said it was about her project again. But in the quick look I took at it, she said to the guy she was in a show with me in her last message. She lied about so many things... I'm very very hurt. She said she would never cheat on me, because she is afraid of losing me. She cryed a lot. I was pissed off, but also very compassioned of her. It was a rough and strange night.

So, my final considerations. I realize there's the possibility of her telling the truth. It doesn't make sense to me she would hide something without any reason to. It's out of character for her. I have the feeling she is lying to me, but no matter how hard I push her, even if she is lying, she won't tell me the truth. So, I can't get the truth from her if this is a lie. I don't want to be that guy that looks into his gf's social media to see if she is hiding something. I hate when people do that to me and would hate to do it. But I don't trust her about that text anymore. To be honest, I'm not thinking much about the worst case scenario - she cheating on me - but I'm very hurt that she is hiding something. If I can't get the truth from her, I don't know what to do. I'd hate do keep in this relationship just to find later that she was cheating on me. But I love her more than my own life, and I can't break up with her unless I'm sure she is cheating.

I don't know what to do. She's at work now and will be home in a few hours. I can't just let it go, but I don't know what to do.
tl;dr: Caught gf hiding message from me. When confronted, she said it was nothing, but she deleted the text. I don't know what to do

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

My boyfriend needs to wash his balls they smell like if hamsterdance were a dollar tree perfume

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:33

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

My boyfriend needs to wash his balls they smell like if hamsterdance were a dollar tree perfume

Good to know

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:35

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

WrenP-Complete posted:

My [22F] GF hid a text message from me [22M] I'm worried about her reasons to do that

Alot of times women and men flirt outside their relationship because they are bored or want some sort of validation that they are still attractive.

It's in our nature and a particularly disgusting part of it, but what can you do? His best bet is to leave her.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:39

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

WrenP-Complete posted:

My [22F] GF hid a text message from me [22M] I'm worried about her reasons to do that

The trust is already gone, break up. Snooping will only confirm the worst.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:40

Adam Vegas: Apr 14, 2013

WrenP-Complete posted:

My [22F] GF hid a text message from me [22M] I'm worried about her reasons to do that

Hahaha wow, her looking through his messages like a fuckin' paranoiac while being super shifty about her own texts to another guy is the textbook definition of cheaters projecting onto other people because they think 'if I do it, everyone else must be too!'

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:42

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

WampaLord posted:

The trust is already gone, break up. Snooping will only confirm the worst.

Exactly. At that point if she doesn't find you interesting enough to focus her attention on during a concert or even be honest with you, you're pretty much second fiddle.

There is a problem nowadays with faithfulness in relationships. A large part I attribute to people moving too fast and searching for instant gratification. As far as love is concerned, I think it's better to be patient than to throw years of your life away at someone who doesn't intend on spending quality time with you.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

tactlessbastard posted:

Good to know

that would be the text, above. i do not have this problem.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:45

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

My boyfriend needs to wash his balls they smell like if hamsterdance were a dollar tree perfume

And people mocked me when I told them to put deodorant in their balls.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 16:59

nerd plus rage: May 12, 2014; It's a metaphor for something, probably

Ride The Gravitron posted:

And people mocked me when I told them to put deodorant in their balls.

Sounds painful.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:08

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

nerd plus rage posted:

Sounds painful.

Painful for the people around you that have to smell unabated testicle odor.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:15

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Salty Josh posted:

There is a problem nowadays with faithfulness in relationships. A large part I attribute to people moving too fast and searching for instant gratification. As far as love is concerned, I think it's better to be patient than to throw years of your life away at someone who doesn't intend on spending quality time with you.

I think the nature of true love in movies and all that has instilled in people that a single relatively minor problem with a person is enough to make them irredeemable because they're not "The one" or your "Soulmate". It also fucks up things in the other direction because dumb people are willing to ignore massive, glaring problems because "What if they're my soulmate? I'd be giving that up!" Along with the internet making it way easier for infidelity to happen, you end up with a bunch of people who get disillusioned and unhappy, but too afraid of being alone/shaking up their life in any way to actually leave, so they cheat.

That said, I don't know that it's necessarily any more a problem now than it was back when some beehive hairdo chick back in the fifties was getting railed by the milk man; it's just that you can replace the milk man with literally the entire internet, so cheating gets way easier. Maybe it was more stigma against divorce back then than "TRUE LOVE" poo poo, but the point remains.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:30

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Salty Josh posted:

Painful for the people around you that have to smell unabated testicle odor.

Surprisingly I don't have a line of people eager to smell my orbs

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:31

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

David Heinrich posted:

I think the nature of true love in movies and all that has instilled in people that a single relatively minor problem with a person is enough to make them irredeemable because they're not "The one" or your "Soulmate". It also fucks up things in the other direction because dumb people are willing to ignore massive, glaring problems because "What if they're my soulmate? I'd be giving that up!" Along with the internet making it way easier for infidelity to happen, you end up with a bunch of people who get disillusioned and unhappy, but too afraid of being alone/shaking up their life in any way to actually leave, so they cheat.

That said, I don't know that it's necessarily any more a problem now than it was back when some beehive hairdo chick back in the fifties was getting railed by the milk man; it's just that you can replace the milk man with literally the entire internet, so cheating gets way easier. Maybe it was more stigma against divorce back then than "TRUE LOVE" poo poo, but the point remains.

True. Most feelings of "love" comes from chemical impulses in our brain for something it deems attractive through a collection of memories and experiences.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:34

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

maskenfreiheit posted:

Surprisingly I don't have a line of people eager to smell my orbs

Must be a lonely life.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:37

COMRADES: Apr 3, 2017; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

I'm pretty sure that feeling like the grass is always greener and people cheating has been a part of the human experience since the beginning.

quote:

so cheating gets way easier.

As opposed to in the past when it was basically just expected for men and it was way harder to catch them at it because there's no digital footprint of everything you do?

quote:

I think the nature of true love in movies and all that has instilled in people

'True love' has been a common theme in our cultural tales/stories/etc for thousands of years. :shrug:

COMRADES fucked around with this message at 17:44 on Aug 27, 2017

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:42

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

WrenP-Complete posted:

My [22F] GF hid a text message from me [22M] I'm worried about her reasons to do that

Find her flame and gently caress him to assert dominance. Sure, she can go find other guys that'll gently caress her, but they'll stop after you gently caress them.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 17:57

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

COMRADES posted:

I'm pretty sure that feeling like the grass is always greener and people cheating has been a part of the human experience since the beginning.

As opposed to in the past when it was basically just expected for men and it was way harder to catch them at it because there's no digital footprint of everything you do?

'True love' has been a common theme in our cultural tales/stories/etc for thousands of years.

Literally the second paragraph of my post was "I donno if it's any more of an issue now in terms of doing it than it was in the past" but the basic point was that the internet makes it a lot easier to find people to cheat with, which I still think is pretty true. Yeah, you don't have a digital footprint, but you also drastically expand the base of who you can meet with and can spend time communicating with people while remaining at home.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:01

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Family friend(30m) is trying to force my family(23f, 25m, 3m) out of grandmother's(69f) house

quote:

Quick breakdown of the household and my situation.

There are 8 people living in my grandmas house. Her, her significant other(69m), my uncle(43m) his wife(40f), myself, my fiance, my son, and family friend Joe.

My small family is living on the living room floor until our home is finished next month. We have been here for a month and even tho its not ideal(believe me, sleeping on a floor kills your back), its the cheapest option while we wait.

My SO works and is in the military while i am a stay at home mom who is working on getting a degree, while pregnant(shhhh no one knows yet, not even my SO. Planning on telling him in a special way) its cheaper than day care and we can more than afford it. Once i get my degree, im going back to work. For now, we pay 300 a month to my grandma and i do 90% of the cleaning so my grandma doesnt have to.

Joe moved in around the time we did after a domestic violence case with his boyfriend. I have no idea why concidering he owns a home an hour away, that his grandparents pay all his bills for. He does not work, he sleeps in the recliner all day and does not cotribute to the household at all. He wont clean, he wont use his food stamps to help buy food, he legitly just lays around all day sleeping or on his phonehigh from cold medicine.

ISSUE!!!!!

Last night, Joe asked if he could speak to my SO and I. He started off by saying no one wants us here and how we are a drain on the household. He said we need to cotribute or get out and how we are causing my grandmothers stress and depression.
At this point, i stopped listening and went straight to my grandma. We are super close and typically if she has a problem, she talks to me about it. She told me she never said any of that and if she didnt want us here, we would not be here. She did say there was going to be a chore list as her, myself and my SO are the only ones that do anything and we are not maids.

So after all of that, Joe comes in trying to start crap because the dog pulled a pullup out of the trash which obviously means i dont ever throw anything away, and started trying to say that i never clean and just what an aweful person i am. My grandma went into an anxiety attack and left the room.

Everything ended right after when my grandma called me to the livingroom because my SO was acting weird. He went into a seizure. Joe was acting concerned about it so he started being nice.

At around 1 am, everything had calmed down. Joe went to the kitchen to get cereal.

This morning, i went to get my son cereal, and his box was empty( we have household cereal(generic) and my sons cereal(namebrand) everyone knows which is my sons cereal and while everyone is welcome to a bowl of it, Joe sat and ate the entire box(wasnt even opened yet). I woke Joe up this morning asking which cereal he ate last night and he said it wasnt a big deal then started yelling about cleaning.

This man is unbearable. We used to be close until he moved in, now hes starting all this poo poo. What gives????

Tdlr: family friend trying to tell me no one wants my family here and how we dont contribute. Proceeds to try to get me in trouble with grandma, eats all my sons cereal, then screams at me about cleaning. How do i make this last month bearable???

Joe needs to either be thrown the gently caress out or :murder:

. There's no negotiating with a man who will eat an entire box of cereal to spite someone through their child

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

COMRADES posted:

'True love' has been a common theme in our cultural tales/stories/etc for thousands of years.

yeah tbh I've read tales 700+ yrs old and it's basically the same poo poo

however they certainly didn't think fat gross weirdoes should win the day. pre-rogan.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:13

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Danaru posted:

Family friend(30m) is trying to force my family(23f, 25m, 3m) out of grandmother's(69f) house

Joe needs to either be thrown the gently caress out or . There's no negotiating with a man who will eat an entire box of cereal to spite someone through their child

I can see how Joe wound up in a domestic violence situation

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:18

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Danaru posted:

Family friend(30m) is trying to force my family(23f, 25m, 3m) out of grandmother's(69f) house

Joe needs to either be thrown the gently caress out or . There's no negotiating with a man who will eat an entire box of cereal to spite someone through their child

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:21

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

$7 is a good deal on police bribery, i don't even want to kill anyone but with those kind of savings how can i pass up the opportunity?

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:25

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Danaru posted:

Family friend(30m) is trying to force my family(23f, 25m, 3m) out of grandmother's(69f) house

Joe needs to either be thrown the gently caress out or . There's no negotiating with a man who will eat an entire box of cereal to spite someone through their child

there's a certain degree of spinelessness where you just deserve whatever you're letting happen to you

Joe's just filling a vaccuum if he wasn't there the OP would be getting equally dominated by the raccoon who eats out of their garbage can

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:26

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Danaru posted:

Family friend(30m) is trying to force my family(23f, 25m, 3m) out of grandmother's(69f) house

Joe needs to either be thrown the gently caress out or . There's no negotiating with a man who will eat an entire box of cereal to spite someone through their child

Beat the poo poo out of Joe.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:26

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Oh, I just noticed that they aren't asking what they should do about Joe, but how to make the last month bearable.

Wow, have fun watching your grandmother be exploited for the next 15 years until she croaks. Then Joe will mysteriously be the only named person in the will, receiving everything.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:31

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

tactlessbastard posted:

I can see how Joe wound up in a domestic violence situation

# ? Aug 27, 2017 18:31

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Not the issue at all obviously but a 30 year old has a grandma who's 69 (nice)?

# ? Aug 27, 2017 19:28

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

zakharov posted:

Not the issue at all obviously but a 30 year old has a grandma who's 69 (nice)?

You misread that, Joe's 30, she's 23.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 19:30

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:02

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

my sister had a friend in highschool who's mom had her at 18, who's mom had her at 18. my mom was a bit put out to learn that she was closer to the grandmother in age than the mother

e: also imagine being a grandparent at 37 lmao

# ? Aug 27, 2017 19:33

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