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Lollerich posted:btw what is the reason for the long fingernail? Opening letters, digging earwax, as a general handy tool really
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Aug 28, 2017 23:05
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Lollerich posted:btw what is the reason for the long fingernail?
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Aug 28, 2017 23:13
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I know more than one person who would wear it, and at least one who has a full chest and would wear ironically. Lollerich posted:btw what is the reason for the long fingernail? Chinese historical accounts are that nobles used to grow them out because long nails meant you didn't do manual labor, and they were a status symbol. Nowadays, they're probably utility/drug nails, but you can always save face by claiming Chinese History, I'm sure.
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Aug 28, 2017 23:23
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North Korea is cruising for a bruising. They launched a missile over Japan. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-41078187
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Aug 28, 2017 23:34
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Im Ready for DEATH posted:North Korea is cruising for a bruising. They launched a missile over Japan. It's gonna be hard. They got the phat Chinese dong backing them up
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Aug 29, 2017 00:39
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whip posted:It's gonna be hard. They got the phat Chinese dong backing them up if the fda is any authority on the subject "hard" isn't the word i'd use
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Aug 29, 2017 00:44
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wildemere posted:
I think you mean Sunnybank.
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Aug 29, 2017 01:30
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Mistle posted:I know more than one person who would wear it, and at least one who has a full chest and would wear ironically.
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Aug 29, 2017 02:48
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Im Ready for DEATH posted:North Korea is cruising for a bruising. They launched a missile over Japan. 
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Aug 29, 2017 03:36
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Aug 29, 2017 03:40
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I don't advise people to direct purchase chinese sex toys as you can often never be sure what they are made out of, and I strongly don't advise going on a "date" with hydraulic fittings.
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Aug 29, 2017 03:47
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Haier posted:I won't have internet for like 2 weeks when I arrive there Maybe you should get one of those free facebook-internet phones and connect with hot bhabhis that way
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Aug 29, 2017 04:02
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big time bisexual posted:it keeps happening... almost the same exact thing literally happened to me once on a sidewalk in Qingdao. A ground literally just collapsed once my massive 150lb or so goony frame stepped on it and I fell like into some weird mostly empty shaft with a bunch of pipes, and thankfully no sewage or anything. I was just far enough down that my hands went above the top of the hole but I couldn't really pull myself out, and about half a dozen people ignored me until an old lady walked over and asked why I was in the hole and guilted a young couple to help pull me out.
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Aug 29, 2017 04:08
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Magna Kaser posted:and about half a dozen people ignored me until an old lady walked over and asked why I was in the hole and guilted a young couple to help pull me out.
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Aug 29, 2017 05:56
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Magna Kaser posted:
perfect "no why" opportunity WASTED
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Aug 29, 2017 05:59
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BYWBGVDngpi/ It's got the word "Chinese" in it. I guess it counts.
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Aug 29, 2017 06:33
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ladron posted:perfect "no why" opportunity WASTED Holy poo poo lol also this
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Aug 29, 2017 06:37
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Haier posted:https://www.instagram.com/p/BYWBGVDngpi/ that was nowhere near as horrifying as I was expecting it ended up being kinda cool actually
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Aug 29, 2017 06:43
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Aug 29, 2017 07:30
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Last night about two hours after dinner, which I cooked myself (and was boiled for almost an hour and eaten immediately, so no chance of bacteria), I bought some cheesecake at the bakery I usually go to. I LOLd to myself when they only gave me one spoon for my big bag of snacks, because it seems they were catching on to the foreigner scarfing it all alone. Anyway, I was fine until I ate that cheesecake. Within about 30 minutes my stomach was in horrible pain and bloated to the size of a large watermelon. I wanted to go walk, but I was laid up at home with this bad stomach. I wanted to puke but my body wouldn't allow it no matter how hard I tried. At midnight, after about 5-6 hours of no result, I made some extra strong loose senna leaf tea (know as "diarrhea leaves" in Chinese), and drank it with some hot barley tea to follow. The usual program with that is drink it right before sleep, and then chug about a liter of cool water right when you wake up and then it will flush your intestines soon after. So I did that. Every time I drank water or any liquids today, within about 20 minutes it comes blowing out my butt. This is sometimes normal for this senna stuff, but what is shocking to me is that after about 7 toilet trips I am still shooting mostly-solids. I don't know how much I was backed up in there, but I am shocked at the amount coming out. I planned to have a walk tonight but am now waiting for round 8 to come blowing through. This is some intense action. Of course I am telling all my Chinese friends how much this owns, and how I need to buy more of these leaves to take with me to spread the joy to those who need it. Any goons in China that need some proper cleaning and have a day free, buy some 腹泻叶 or 番泻叶. It cost me about 3 RMB for 100gms of loose leaves, and I only used about .30 jiao's worth. Edit: There's a buzzcut that cooks in the hallway across from me every day. Some days he makes some nasty cabbage thing. Today he made that, and the smell of it wafting into my bathroom was exponentially worse than the smell of diarrhea. Like, I could not even bare to be in the bathroom while he was cooking. LMAO, this is a good use of the meme. Haier fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Aug 29, 2017 |
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Aug 29, 2017 08:46
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Yo, this thread is basically the Haier thread with Chinese characteristics by now. Plz post India stories, even if it is just elderly Indian men asking you why you aren't married
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Aug 29, 2017 09:10
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Magna Kaser posted:an old lady walked over and asked why I was in the hole Collateral Damage fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Aug 29, 2017 |
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Aug 29, 2017 09:18
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DangerousDan posted:Yo, this thread is basically the Haier thread with Chinese characteristics by now. Plz post India stories, even if it is just elderly Indian men asking you why you aren't married 
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Aug 29, 2017 09:50
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Aug 29, 2017 10:22
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I'll have to get this printed on a pillow for the lonely two weeks.
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Aug 29, 2017 10:42
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 This, but actual ice because TCM makes a huuuuuge no no about anything under 40C degrees.
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Aug 29, 2017 10:42
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https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/29/hong-kong-coffin-homes-horror-my-week?CMP=share_btn_fb "In one of its 46 sq metre (500 sq ft) apartments, 30 residents live in purpose-built plywood bunk beds each with its own sliding door, colloquially known as coffins. Two rows of bunks, 16 bunks in each row – still space for two more people." "At night I can hear everything happening around me: every punch, kick and scream from my neighbour’s kung fu movie; the smacking of lips eating barbecue meat with rice; a brief argument over who will use the sole shower next and, of course, a symphony of snoring." there's some interesting personal stories in there as well. good read. hosed up place.
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Aug 29, 2017 10:42
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Haier posted:Last night about two hours after dinner, which I cooked myself (and was boiled for almost an hour and eaten immediately, so no chance of bacteria), I bought some cheesecake at the bakery I usually go to. I LOLd to myself when they only gave me one spoon for my big bag of snacks, because it seems they were catching on to the foreigner scarfing it all alone. Based on the time of onset, this was likely a "preformed toxin" version of food poisoning. Bacteria were allowed to grow on the food during food prep and made the usual toxins that cause illness. Sometimes the food is then cooked, killing the bacteria but not their heat-stabile toxins. Then you eat the food and get the toxin's effect without further infection. Also Haier, as a doctor, please see someone for all your stomach upset poo poo. It's not normal.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:03
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HAIER TUESDAY NIGHT FINAL NIGHT SKATEBOARDING EDITION: Since I am not bringing my skatebird to India (LMAO at those roads and no sidewalks), I had an impromtu decision to go ride one more time before I give my boards away to my skateboard friends. I went to the place I usually goof off and they hadn't turned on the lights tonight, so it was kind lovely in general but still possible. I was fiddling around and listening to music when a bunch of longboarders show up. I support any wheeled sport, and enjoy watching inline skating, scootering, BMX, whatever, but Mainland longboarders are the biggest loving assholes and I hate them. They take everything lovely about Face culture for cars and bring it to the people squares. About 90% of them are <25, and act like because their dumb dancing boards are longer than others they have the right of way at all times no matter what, and will Face the gently caress out anyone with endless games of Chicken and "let's see if we can be needlessly injured." A good example is if everyone on bikes or skateboards or inline skates are going north to south in the square because it's easier, the longboarders will almost always go east to west and get in everyone's way. They always travel in packs of 4 or more and make everything poo poo from the moment they show up if people have to share the same space with them. I wouldn't care about them at all if they had some sort of normalcy like everyone else, but it's as if they are trying to be rude. It's been a full year of seeing Mainland longboarders, and they are all exactly the same (at least in Shenzhen). So a pack of 5 show up. They always stay in their packs, and never associate with any other packs. Another pack of about 8 came, but this pack immediately formed a circle right in the middle of the loving way and sat down and ate chips together, ignoring the empty benches they could have been sitting on. That's all they did for over an hour I stayed there. There were about 3 other skateboarders there besides me, but since they were Chinese they paid no attention to this. So I am trying to ride around and practice some stuff and this dumb girl in a humongous button-up robe/shirt keeps getting in my way. To prevent collisions I have to jump off my board, and every loving time she see me and then turns her head away as if I'm not there and she didn't cause anyone else to watch out for her. Her boyfriend guy is just sitting on board and peddling around like a child. All these dickbags are flailing around doing their stupid little spins and looking uncomfortable and disrupting everything. After about 10 minutes of this poo poo, I decided to skate switch, which is pushing and riding on the unnatural side for me. I am not the best at it, but I figured practicing it will be just as annoying to them as they are to me. I look like an absolute beginner and am purposely trying to ride out of control. I start mimicking them and aiming myself towards them and use my face power to make them hop of their boards or get out of my way. That stupid robe-shirt girl got pressured to stop several times and actually moved to the other side of the square far away from me. This one guy going the wrong way (east to west, like I mentioned) noticed I was actually speeding up to cut him off multiple times and he also went somewhere else. A year ago I would have never done this, but now it's like I have to, and it's more fun this way. Because the lights were off, I see this guy in inline skates with high shorts and a neon-pink tank top and a man bun going backwards with his butt sticking out. I was staring at this hipster and got closer and realize it's a girl. Her shorts were just as high as all the longboarder dudes shorts. Immediately this guy in an all red outfit comes riding up really close to me on a skateboard, getting between me and this girl. He angrily stares me down hard, and I guess it's her boyfriend or her Nice Guy friend feeling threatened. He acts like he's trying to cut me off or something, as if we're cars in a chase and he gets really close and sees my face and realizes I am a foreigner. I smile and he looks surprised as hell and falls back so he's not next to me anymore. He shadowed her for the rest of the time they were there, watching me every time I went by. He caused her to fall down and skin her knee and then they went home after a few minutes of her laying on the ground holding her injury. Some old guy in a taiji uniform arrived on rollerskates and he was pretty awesome. There was fat buzzcut on inline skates trying to practice his cone slalom tricks, and he was pretty cool too because you could see he was terrible and his weight was no helping, but gave no fucks. Rating: 4/10 evening. Would not do it again. Also, some Chinese skateboarders look like this when summer is over and they start wearing pants again. 
Haier fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Aug 29, 2017 |
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Aug 29, 2017 16:23
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I happened to be passing through Monaco today and went to see a huge exhibition of Qing dynasty stuff on loan from the Forbidden City. I might post some pictures later for actual content, it was really amazing. Ancient Chinese porcelain, calligraphy, objets d'art, courtly clothes of the emperors, all of it just... magnificent in is splendor and detail. The whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about the things I've seen in this thread and how all of this simply astonishing dedication to mastery and craftmanship was just stamped away forever by the CCP. Like tears in rain, etc.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:38
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Good day so far. A Haier bloated stomach story (read: eating disorder) and skateboarding.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:43
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10/10 would buy Xanaxpants. e; Haier, you probably just ate a not-insignificant amount of wax or plaster or something.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:48
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https://zippy.gfycat.com/ClearcutSpiffyAmazondolphin.webm
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Aug 29, 2017 17:32
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nothing is faster than dog
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Aug 29, 2017 18:00
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I assume the brief shaking at the end is the dog, now inside the vehicle, ripping the driver apart.
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Aug 29, 2017 18:13
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  No 50lbs bag (wtf?)      Buying some junk  For your fat thang   For your alive/dead    Not only do we call police, we add penalty
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Aug 29, 2017 18:18
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Haier, I do not believe that monkeys just attack people in the middle of cities in Inida. It's not because I think you're not a reliable source of this information, it's just that such a scenario is so outside of the realm of possibility for me to imagine that I have to choose to believe it isn't real just to stay sane
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Aug 29, 2017 19:03
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Johnny Five-Jaces posted:Haier, I do not believe that monkeys just attack people in the middle of cities in Inida. It's not because I think you're not a reliable source of this information, it's just that such a scenario is so outside of the realm of possibility for me to imagine that I have to choose to believe it isn't real just to stay sane Pretty sure it happens all the time
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Aug 29, 2017 19:58
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Johnny Five-Jaces posted:Haier, I do not believe that monkeys just attack people in the middle of cities in Inida. It's not because I think you're not a reliable source of this information, it's just that such a scenario is so outside of the realm of possibility for me to imagine that I have to choose to believe it isn't real just to stay sane It's true. Also, Australians have pet kangaroos, in Canada moose, elk, deer, wolf and bear roam freely through towns and cadres of striped shirt and beret clad Frenchman snootily blow smoke into the faces of unsuspecting tourists. At least one of those are true.
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Aug 29, 2017 20:06
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i'm from wisconsin so i know about large ungulates wandering through towns but the gulf between "scared animal runs through town" and "roaming gangs of monkeys extort you for money" is too much for my brain to handle so i choose to believe that it doesn't happen
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Aug 29, 2017 20:18
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