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Al Borland Corp. posted:And the best part, I was able to ride my bird familiar like a Roc to get back home. I hope this never wears off. I would highly recommend that you keep some sort of quickened flight or levitation spell memorized just in case it DOES wear off mid-flight. Trust me. I'm lucky to have been only 30 feet above a lake when that happened to me.
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Aug 30, 2017 12:35
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Well obviously I have a string of pearls with feather fall on each I can consume whenever. I am rethinking this tiny wizard thing though. I got eaten by a stray cat. The painter left one of my doors open to dry, the cat got in, I didn't even realize til I was in its mouth. I was really panicking for a moment before I remembered I'm still just as strong and just punched a hole out. But gently caress, I don't want me or my bedroom covered in exploded cat neck. Easily cleaned with low level spells but still disgusting. John Wick of Dogs fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 30, 2017 16:29
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Question: I keep getting texts from a pixie-fairy. I will pay you to go for it and try to corrupt it. I will pay you. I'm a huge fan of innovation in the field of Evil, and also there's a glade full of pixie-fairies near my place and they're capable of some cool stuff with their magic, so having a proof of concept without personal risk would be great.
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Aug 30, 2017 19:27
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Hotdog In A Hallway posted:Ugh, thanks to this I have noted a sharp uptick in the amount of "good" happening in the villages I use for experimental stock. Did you include a clause stating that there must always be more evil? If not, then this unmooring of the Law could result in large amounts of good happening with no automatic redress. That just sounds like you're slacking off. If Good takes root in a population it's very difficult to eliminate it. Al Borland Corp. posted:Well obviously I have a string of pearls with feather fall on each I can consume whenever. Are you still close enough to your original mortal form to have a sex drive? Let your junk decide. vcvcvc12 posted:I will pay you to go for it and try to corrupt it. I will pay you. Corrupt it with your wiener. Or, you know, prehensile whatever.
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Aug 30, 2017 22:22
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You guys are crazy I would never met a fae
John Wick of Dogs fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 30, 2017 22:36
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I know this is supposed to be a thread for evil wizards but I'm an alchemist with loose morals and was wondering if it would be cool if I posted in here.
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Aug 30, 2017 22:37
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At least you work. You're not a loving sorcerer.
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Aug 30, 2017 22:44
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Al Borland Corp. posted:At least you work. You're not a loving sorcerer. go prepare a spell to suck my dick then get back to me bitch
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Aug 30, 2017 22:45
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Your mom hosed a lizard
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Aug 30, 2017 22:54
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Sorcerers lol. Memorize two basic spells and call it a day 
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Aug 30, 2017 22:59
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Your mom hosed a lizard better than being hosed by an autism elemental
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Aug 30, 2017 23:00
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basic hitler posted:Sorcerers lol. Memorize two basic spells and call it a day dont see what else i need beyond 1) gently caress bitches 2) get money
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Aug 30, 2017 23:01
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goofy rear end motherfuckers stepping to me with color spray and magic missile while im throwing fireballs drat
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Aug 30, 2017 23:02
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The nice thing about magic missiles is i can cast them while flipping you off and turning my back to not even watch you fry because thats how beneath me a drat socerer is 
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Aug 30, 2017 23:07
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Bards are better magicians than sorcerers.
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Aug 30, 2017 23:15
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basic hitler posted:The nice thing about magic missiles is i can cast them while flipping you off and turning my back to not even watch you fry because thats how beneath me a drat socerer is Yeah turn and run to your overcompensating tower bitch
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Aug 30, 2017 23:17
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Bards are better magicians than sorcerers. You got owned by your own familiar lmao
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Aug 30, 2017 23:25
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Have Blue posted:You got owned by your own familiar lmao Further proof that sorcerers can't read
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Aug 30, 2017 23:27
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Further proof that sorcerers can't read Oh no sorry you actually couldn't manage the standard infernal pact that every first year warlock makes
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Aug 30, 2017 23:36
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Is this the thread for the ren faire meet up?
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Aug 30, 2017 23:36
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Dark gods drat it. I look away from this thread for a cosmic eyeblink, and you're all messing with the fae again. Al Borland Corp. posted:Question: I keep getting texts from a pixie-fairy. She says she's extremely intrigued by a human her size. I'm not sure if she knows I'm an evil wizard since pixie-fairies are inherently good. I'm not sure if this is some kind of trap. I'm not sure if I'm really into pixie-fairies. I should just block this last to be safe, right? I know pixie dust is a valuable spell component, but this can't be a good idea. Buddy, no, fae aren't inherently good. They are beyond mortal morality, with minds that twist and turn in ways as strange as the wilds of Faerie itself. Even the Seelie aren't truly good. The Seelie are light and life and fire, and people forget that fire can burn. They'll still take your firstborn for their cause. And little pixies aren't Seelie. They pulled a big PR coup with Tinkerbell, so everyone thinks they're all sweetness and smiles and appropriate for children to play with (!!!!!). And everyone forgets how that goddamn bitch Tinkerbell tried to murder Wendy, repeatedly, because she was jealous. They are capricious and see the world as a toybox full of fun little things to amuse them. Odds are, she already knows all about you, because she's had spies watching you all along. Absolutely no one is as sneaky as the pixies. They spy on everyone. Ghosts aren't as sneaky as pixies. Instead of worrying about not looking evil, you should be worrying she'll drag you off to her kingdom, bind you, and keep you until she grows bored with the novelty. Or she'll rope you into helping her fight a very tiny war against her very tiny enemies, and suddenly you're facing down four hundred pixie cavaliers riding rhinoceros beetles. Blurry Gray Thing fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Aug 30, 2017 |
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Aug 30, 2017 23:49
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Have Blue posted:Oh no sorry you actually couldn't manage the standard infernal pact that every first year warlock makes That's Warlocks. You're not a magician at all are you?
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Aug 31, 2017 01:09
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Dark gods drat it. I look away from this thread for a cosmic eyeblink, and you're all messing with the fae again. I've never met a fae, but I've heard this is a misrepresentation, and they are fairly cool. I've never met one though John Wick of Dogs fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 01:10
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Al Borland Corp. posted:I ordered all my skeletons to go bury themselves a few miles away and await further instructions Careful with that, I forgot some skeletons once and they just kept digging until they hit lava. Melted half the countryside
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Aug 31, 2017 01:18
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HatfulOfHollow posted:I know this is supposed to be a thread for evil wizards but I'm an alchemist with loose morals and was wondering if it would be cool if I posted in here. So often, people think that "evil" is the antithesis of "good," where it's actually just a certain moral flexibility and ambition. You'll do just fine. Al Borland Corp. posted:Bards are better magicians than sorcerers. You know, bards get a lot of poo poo, but they're very flexible and useful as a minion. Like your mom. (That's the sort of thing I learned from Puzzlequiz, my bard minion. He's very good at negs.) Blurry Gray Thing posted:Dark gods drat it. I look away from this thread for a cosmic eyeblink, and you're all messing with the fae again. This guy. This guy gets it. Al Borland Corp. posted:gently caress. She's in the bathroom right now. If you can enthrall her with your sex magicks she could be a very powerful ally. Remember: use at least three negs before attempting an f-close.
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Aug 31, 2017 02:25
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:That just sounds like you're slacking off. If Good takes root in a population it's very difficult to eliminate it.
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Aug 31, 2017 03:07
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basic hitler posted:The nice thing about magic missiles is i can cast them while flipping you off and turning my back to not even watch you fry because thats how beneath me a drat socerer is I shoot my magic missiles from my dick. I know it's overly theatrical but that's part of the programme as an evil wizard.
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Aug 31, 2017 13:16
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Do NOT gently caress with the Fae you absolute idiots jeez how many times do we have to go over this You don't gently caress with the Fae. The Fae fucks with you. Sometimes literally, as in this case I suppose.
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Aug 31, 2017 13:23
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Where is the wizard meeting tonight I can't find my scroll. I went out by myself last night and just wandered around doing nothing and I must have dropped it probably
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Aug 31, 2017 19:30
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Where is the wizard meeting tonight I can't find my scroll. I went out by myself last night and just wandered around doing nothing and I must have dropped it probably Tina Fae, is that you? You can't fool me.
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Aug 31, 2017 19:36
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If you know the location you can pm me
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Aug 31, 2017 19:37
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Sorry, I realize those last two posts must have looked suspicious. Eroban, my familiar, posted them at my command. I was in a hurry to finish pristine some components and the phone was in the other room. Nevertheless, he got the basic gist right, I have lost my scroll with the location of the wizard meeting. Do any of you have the info for the 507 local? I have some really important findings to show them. Have a laugh at me if you will in regards to the fae stuff. Nothing happened except some personal embarrassment I'd rather not go into. Every wizard has an off day now and again. The clumsy edits to my previous posts were ill advised and done before my self induced sleep spell had fully worn off. Lost would not be the best attentive to describe my location scroll. I destroyed it out of safety when I thought someone may be after it. Paranoia won the day, at it were. I was mistaken but it was probably the right thing to do anyway. So here, everyone. I'm stupid. Wizards aren't taught correctly, holistically, in night graduations. My error.
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Aug 31, 2017 22:23
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Yeah nah this is totally a changeling. Nice try though!
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Aug 31, 2017 22:35
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what happened on your date give details
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Aug 31, 2017 22:48
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I kinda envy you. See, my forbidden school is conjuration, so I can't do some of the cool poo poo like Summon Pizza and I don't have a familiar ever since my owl died in the aforementioned lake. Still, time and space are kinda my wheelhouse so I can teleport and stop time at will. It's particularly useful when I need to unfuck something stupid that I or a friend did... like wreck a 2017 Toyota truck.
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Aug 31, 2017 22:52
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Where is the wizard meeting tonight I can't find my scroll. I went out by myself last night and just wandered around doing nothing and I must have dropped it probably Al Borland Corp. posted:Do any of you have the info for the 507 local? I have some really important findings to show them. Who doesn't Scrype now?
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Aug 31, 2017 23:00
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What do you do when your army of creepy dolls unionize? Asking for a friend.
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Sep 1, 2017 14:16
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I'm the wizard that misplaces shoes into the wrong size cubbies at bowling alleys
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Sep 1, 2017 14:18
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rear end-Haggis posted:I'm the wizard that misplaces shoes into the wrong size cubbies at bowling alleys That's not evil, though? It's just inconvenient. Whatever, my dude, "evil" is a relative term and if your thing is slowly driving people insane, you gotta respect it. Tin Can Hit Man posted:What do you do when your army of creepy dolls unionize? Depending on who you ask, unions are hella evil.
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Sep 1, 2017 14:24
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Depending on who you ask, unions are hella evil. I dunno about evil, but they're throwing around words and phrases like "equity" and "stock options" and "livable wage". I'd burn them all and start over, but have you seen what Furby and Bratz dolls are going for now on Ebay?! Now *THAT'S* evil!
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Sep 1, 2017 14:31
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