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AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/903009647514222593

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Drunk Theory
Aug 20, 2016


Oven Wrangler

Well now.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is


Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

big nipples big life posted:

you forgot to have him check out the players space pants to see if they were sweet enough for a better mission.

Made some improvements.

code:
if (player.pubes > 0) {
    NPCPlayer npc = GameObject.spawn(PlayerGOHelper.THE_STIMPERESS);
    npc.playMissionDialogue(Dialogue.YOUUUEERRRRHHHHHHH_I_SSSSSSAID_NO_BAAALLLDDDD_YOU_CCCCCUUUUUUCCKKKKKKK);
    player.kill();

else if (player.inventory.contains(MISSION_ITEM)) {
    playMissionDialogue(Dialogue.GOOD_JOB_HERES_SOME_SPACEBUCKS);

else if (player.pants != null && player.pants.getQuality() == EPantsQuality.SWEET) {
    playMissionDialogue(Dialogue.OFFER_BETTER_MISSION);

else {
    playMissionDialogue(Dialogue.OFFER_MISSION);
}

Bootcha
Nov 13, 2012

Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending
Grimey Drawer
So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

Tank Boy Ken
Aug 24, 2012
J4G for life
Fallen Rib

Bootcha posted:

So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

"stroking his hate-boner"
+ add some unfunny anagram to Dereks Name

legion989
Jan 18, 2013

Bootcha posted:

So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

I'm not obsessed with Derek Smart*

*99% of reddit post history is in /r/DerekSmart

Tank Boy Ken
Aug 24, 2012
J4G for life
Fallen Rib
Hey a new video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmF3tTeEaZQ

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Bootcha posted:

So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

Shoot some fish in a very lovely barrel

https://twitter.com/iq_derek

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Bootcha posted:

So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Percelus posted:

between derek smart, chris roberts, louise mensch and piers morgan, anyone get the feeling that britain is not sending america it's best people?

I'm trying my best

Potato Salad
Oct 23, 2014

nobody cares


:ducksiren: Hey, does anyone have a link to a recording of Derek's Discord channel during the Gamescom 2017 Star Citizen demo? :ducksiren:

Potato Salad fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Aug 30, 2017

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

Sarsapariller posted:

I know we've theorized this before, but I just don't believe it. It's getting into conspiracy levels of mental gymnastics where we simultaneously hold these two completely contradictory views of the same people in order to reconcile all the ways we dislike them. On the one hand, we say that CIG is this crafty mastermind company that can make something like this metered funding tracker work without ever tipping their hand, perfectly teasing out the right numbers to keep backers engaged and spending. On the other, they're so clownshoes retarded that they can't make a single quest-giver NPC given two years and a hundred million dollars, and their day-to-day marketing features poo poo like Hello Kitty ripoffs and fill in the blank twitter posts. I just don't see them possessing the competence necessary to fool anyone, at this point.

There hasn't been a single hour since the kickstarter where people haven't spent $100's or $1000's on Star Citizen. Star Citizen is not popular in Asia, so you should see dips while the west sleeps. There haven't been.

Scruffpuff's explanation is correct imo. It's the only rational explanation.

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016

fuctifino posted:

There hasn't been a single hour since the kickstarter where people haven't spent $100's or $1000's on Star Citizen. Star Citizen is not popular in Asia, so you should see dips while the west sleeps. There haven't been.

Scruffpuff's explanation is correct imo. It's the only rational explanation.

:same:

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016

Potato Salad posted:

Hey, does anyone have a link to a recording of Derek's Discord channel during the Gamescom 2017 Star Citizen demo?

Here you go friendo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DCbvu-uF4o

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

"I call him a retard and hope he dies, not because I hate him, but because I pity his dislike for Star Citizen." -:reddit:

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

I could see Roberts mocapping the funeral scene from Star Trek II and having it go terribly wrong as the coffin is launched into the Atlantic.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

X-Ultron posted:

Yeah, the thread was titled "Ozma can't see this" and the first reply was something like "Why? Is it a salad?"

Pardon the tangential conversation, but exactly how fat IS Ozma that it's become an in-joke for the last half a decade?

HycoCam
Jul 14, 2016

You should have backed Transverse!

Bootcha posted:

So

What's your favorite reddit "IM NOT OBSESSED WITH DEREK SMART" quote?

Star Citizen Mad Libs...

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Colostomy Bag posted:

I could see Roberts mocapping the funeral scene from Star Trek II and having it go terribly wrong as the coffin is launched into the Atlantic.

Coffin no-clips into nothingness, Scotty gets Stimpired, Enterprise explodes.

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003

Breetai posted:

Pardon the tangential conversation, but exactly how fat IS Ozma that it's become an in-joke for the last half a decade?
She was probably only half a Lesnick but her personality was pretty poo poo so it was just another reasonable insult to pile onto the list when she did something you didn't agree with.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

skaboomizzy posted:

Coffin no-clips into nothingness, Scotty gets Stimpired, Enterprise explodes.

Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not the Stimperor.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Richie Stardust posted:

Full on refugee here, friends. PM me if you know about FEMA benefits and consumer protection during natural disasters. I'll be back to catch up on the thread sometime soon.


One love.


Edit:
No woman no cry.

As a Katrina survivor and volunteer for the Louisiana flooding, my heart goes out to you, friend. :(

The worst part of these events is what happens to people's mentality and the horrors they can inflict on each other suddenly. I hope your situation won't be anything like Katrina with the looting and raping and horrible things that caused the police to flee until the army came in to stabilize the region with machine guns, razor wire, and lots of armored vehicles at check points throughout the affected cities.

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010





The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Propagandist posted:

Does a crash constitute trickery?

Also I need to say snoopy caps again, I'm sorry I'm obsessed with it. I really am sorry, thread. I just can't get over snoopy caps. I say it to myself throughout the day. Snoopy caps.

The best part about Snoopy Caps is that Snoopy only wore one when he was pretending to be a fighter pilot in his head.

So it's really no surprise that CR is also obsessed with stuff. His childlike imagination must be on fire all the time with wiz-bang dogfights in space ships and whoosh whoosh *frantic hand motions of dogfighting in space*

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Rabelais D posted:

The cake that reads "Robert need more gold" should get some more love, as the Chinese either side is a qiyan (seven syllable per line) rhyming couplet:

人间自有真情在,能骗一快是一块

which goes something like this:

"As true devotion exists in the world of man, [Chris Roberts] will scam every dollar that he can."

Of course, "Robert need more gold" is a more effective and accurate translation in a lot of ways.

Genius. I like your translation even better because it's more heinous of the truth.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Oh wow!

If somebody could somehow send a bunch of these to CIG and get them to open them on camera so we could see their reactions that would be priceless.

starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

this is expertly done, but you missed the idea that toilet paper should have something on it you want to poo poo on.

You need to ps https://robertsspaceindustries.com/the-pledge on there

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Fangrim posted:

Question for the programming savvy people here:

A lot is being written about SC's physics grid within a physics grid within a physics grid (and so on...)

The consensus I see here is that they'll never make it work.

My question is: Is this because they're using Unreal Engine 3 Cry Engine 3 which is not suited for this job, or is it because it's simply too complex to code, period?

Edit: Stupid mistake :)

This has probably already been answered a dozen times, but here goes:

CryEngine doesn't matter. Unreal engine doesn't matter.

It's never been done before because it's never been considered as something that needs doing, and it would be very difficult and unnecessary; more so in an MMO environment.

The problem though isn't the engine, it's the lack of an ability to code. After 5 years, CIG is still having problems with doors.

This isn't a problem for a company that has great programming resources and talent. If CIG invested in programmers like they have art and YouTube videos, they could have been mostly successful with almost any engine.

This whole "is Star Citizen broke because of CryEngine?" Is a bad stance to take, because it relieves CR from taking credit for being literytge worst game developer in the world since the beginning of time. He's converted >150 million dollars into tiny, broken demos.

No, friend. CryEngine is not the problem with CIG and their physics programming.

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is
Grimey Drawer

Xaerael posted:

Gremlich is that snivelling little poo poo you knew at school who thought he was the smartest kid ever, but was perpetually wrong about everything, and frequently had a faecal aroma around him that made even the hardest bullies not want to bogwash him to within an inch of his life in the fear that he'd possibly shat himself and they didn't want to risk getting snivelling kid poo poo on them.

By which you mean "get that man an account"

Cao Ni Ma
May 25, 2010



A Shill posted:

There may be some corrections to be made - "We deleted our last video after consultation with CIG, as it contained misinformation. Tomorrow follows correction & re-upload!" - C.R.A.S.H. CORPS, I'll post the correction tomorrow too!

If there was any doubt that boredgamer is getting paid by CIG

G-Spot Run
Jun 28, 2005
Someone else probably has or can post the email but they're doing s funding run using the Australian digital good extension of the GST set to start in July 2018. The tax was initially going to begin July 2017 but the legislation was delayed, and some companies upped their prices early and blamed the tax (eg Netflix) even though they're not paying it.

CIG sent an email saying they're doing their Aussie Backers a service by letting them buy from the anniversary sale early, before they start charging tax from September 2017 (tomorrow) which is 10% for 10 months they can pocket before they actually need to pay/declare to the ATO.

I don't know if simply marking it GST for that reason means they have to pay anyway or it's tax fraud because I am not an accountant.

I don't know how to convert this link on mobile for the cute tax so you'll have to click it
https://m.imgur.com/t/gif/Ws80RvW

G-Spot Run fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Aug 31, 2017

Quavers
Feb 26, 2016

You clearly don't understand game development
An idea for a probably very funny Reddit bot, ideal mini-project for a deskeletonized Python coder...

A Star Citizen version of this:


Profit from the salt.

:gary:

Quavers
Feb 26, 2016

You clearly don't understand game development

Cao Ni Ma posted:

If there was any doubt that boredgamer is getting paid by CIG

Where was that from?

Cao Ni Ma
May 25, 2010



Quavers posted:

Where was that from?

From his latest videos description

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

Quavers posted:



I'm really worried. I don't want this comedy project to end :ohdear:

You had one job ManofManyAliases/Toast, and you failed at it. Now go buy the new submarine and the child cam.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

AP posted:

https://twitter.com/Kraiklyn_/status/901336788626796544

Game support appears to be busy.

Also while on the subject of pointless roles within CIG. According to CIG they have 5 community managers, :lesnick: Lando, Tyler Witkin, Nolin plus that new German based guy they introduced at Games Com.

Let me also add Office managers at CIG Austin, Hollywood, Manchester, Frankfurt, they are now advertising for an office manager at Derby.

Not forgetting the full time barista in Hollywood.

Add 6 or so game support (lol the refund department), the makeup artist that's PA to the head of legal and you're pushing 20 full time employees that don't actually add any value to the efforts to create a game.

What the really funny part of this that people miss because they are so caught up with things, CIG is in huge crunch mode for an alpha release. :)

Looking forward to the it alpha crunch time CR will invoke on people. Probably just constant crunch. That will definitely see SC through to completion with no issues.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Mr.Tophat posted:

In the end, it'll all be worth it for the 72 virgins in the 'verse

42 virgins.

And even that's hell unto itself because training virgins to be sexually proficient can be a bore. Sometimes you just want them to put on the loving mocap equipment and start going hog loving wild with the dummy so all your footage is so good the first time without having to have them do it over and over.

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%

starkebn posted:

this is expertly done, but you missed the idea that toilet paper should have something on it you want to poo poo on.

You need to ps https://robertsspaceindustries.com/the-pledge on there

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Awesome!
Oct 17, 2008

Ready for adventure!


The Titanic posted:

What the really funny part of this that people miss because they are so caught up with things, CIG is in huge crunch mode for an alpha release. :)

Looking forward to the it alpha crunch time CR will invoke on people. Probably just constant crunch. That will definitely see SC through to completion with no issues.

its actually kind of impressive to me how many man hours are being spent on seemingly nothing

like, what do these people do all day?

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