maskenfreiheit posted:

I just scrolled back, and it's been over a week since you've posted content in this thread. (But you've found time to tell multiple stories about yourself).

Shut the gently caress up about Hugh and post content, or don't post at all.

Mom owns a restaurant, began writing bad checks in my dad's name. Now she wants my Pell Grant money to pay it off? (self.legaladvice)

quote:

Just writing that out actually helped me see how crazy and predictable this situation really was.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

a reddit success story

maskenfreiheit posted:

. Am I selfish for hesitating to give this to her? Should I give something to her? Is there anything else I can do?

David Heinrich posted:

It's a nice story, so hopefully it works out, but I'm really not optimistic for it. Children are a lot of work, especially going into it as(Essentially)a single mother, and there's absolutely no chance she's not going to feel guilty for asking him for help when she will definitely need it, and there's an equally zero chance that he's not going to resent her asking for that help. As for the argument on him letting her leave, I don't think it was meant in that way, and those were her words, not his. I doubt he would've outright forced her to stay, in any event. The real messy situation in that event is that he was under the impression that she literally could not have children and she, to his knowledge, was still on birth control, so it's hard to just call him an idiot for not doing everything he could to avoid kids, and it's also a bit hosed up(In my mind, at least)to insist that he has to just be okay with having a child running around out there that he honestly never wanted and did everything he could to avoid having, whether he meets it or not. If someone just really doesn't want to have kids, forcing that on him with "Well you'll never have to meet it" still does feel a bit unfair; he'll always have to deal with the fact that he abandoned his child, which is crazily emotionally taxing regardless of whether or not he had every right to do that. I'm not saying she should be forced into abortion in the situation, for obvious reasons, just that I really don't think the guy is being unreasonable for being uncomfortable with the prospect of her just leaving to raise the kid on her own.

quote:

Long time lurker in need of some communication advice regarding a dead bedroom and porn use. Thanks in advance for reading my story and thank-you even more for taking the time to respond.

So, my bf and I have been together for almost 2 years and aside from the obvious elephant in the room, our relationship is pretty great. I want to start off by saying that I’m pretty lucky because we can talk and reach an understanding about almost every issue we encounter in our life, he genuinely loves me and wants to make me happy. When we first started dating we had a relatively short period of the wild love making before it started dying down significantly. It got to a point where I had to talk about it and ask him whats up, to which he responded with “nothing, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed but let’s change that now” type of thing, I was super happy and we re-connected regularly.

Maybe 3 months go by and we’re back to having sex once a month, I go back to feeling insecure and not good enough… not attractive, that kind of response and a few more months go by before I pretty much lose it and tell him it’s wearing me down and I feel terrible and unattractive. He finally admits to having performance anxiety and ED issues, and to be honest I was surprised because I didn’t notice it myself so we decide it’s time to see a doctor. The doctor confirms he has high cholesterol and needs to make some life style changes and more than likely, since he’s only 28 the problem will be resolved.

I’m sure you notice the pattern now, we go for a few weeks of regular love making to once a month until I have a melt-down. I’m reaching a critical level of frustrated, I was in a DB relationship for 7 year of my life with my ex-partner and it was terrible and now I’m going through it again.
On-top of this, he regularly masturbates when I’m home... we have a small apartment and his usual 6 minute showers turn into 15 minutes accompanied by the super comforting sound of water running and skin mashing with lotion. This has become a regular occurrence, and now when we do have sex – you can tell hes just not driven and usually rushes past for-play, rams me for 2 minutes until he comes and then limply tries to finish me off when I said that was too quick for me. I feel like he’s using my body to masturbate with and the enjoyment is no longer there for me.

I’m looking for advice in how to express myself without killing his self-confidence, I’m so frustrated and it’s turning into resentment so much so that every little thing he does bothers me. I can barely stand to be in the same room sometimes because his clueless and somewhat “if we don’t talk about it, it’s not a problem” attitude is driving a wedge between us, I’m scared this cannot be remedied. What is a good way of approaching this topic without it turning into a complete nightmare? I want to address that I know he masturbates when I’m home, but it’s very embarrassing and I don’t want him to feel like he has no privacy or is my sexual slave… I’m just so sad and lost right now. Any words are deeply appreciated.

Pick posted:

You feel differently once you get pregnant, is what I hear . It's like when people say, "Oh, if I'd been there, I'd have tackled the gunman!!" You don't freakin know.

PetraCore posted:

Yeah. I do have sympathy for him, even if I wasn't expressing it. It's fine to not want kids, and it's fantastic to be upfront about this in a relationship so you can meet someone compatible on that front. The problem seems to be that she wanted (biological) kids more than she realized, so what seemed like a compatibility was just really circumstantial. But they've built a shared life of 8 years on that and they obviously love each other.

There's no situation where both people get everything they want here, including the situation where she aborts. And I don't think it's a personal failing of him to not be a primary caretaker for the first few years, even if it'll be hard for her. IDK!

ArbitraryC posted:

I think you're sorta making light of the weight on either side. The reality is her aborting is him getting what he wants (and was upfront about) while her keeping the kid is her getting what she wants (and was not upfront about). The context makes her decision completely reasonable and no one should fault her for it, but it's not some middleground equitable outcome; she's just putting herself and her kid first and he's going along with it because after 8 years of relationship he's willing to tough it out for her. She agreed to taking on the brunt of caregiving as that's the most she could really do while making a unilateral decision for herself (and that's commendable), but it's still not really a compromise as the situation doesn't really have a compromise. It's a hard "do what i want" or "do what he wants" and she went with the former.

They both sound like good people and I hope the best for them.

quote:

TLDR: I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in January. Today I found out he's seeing someone new and I am devastated. I can't tell if it's jealousy or if I want him back.
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years. We lived together for 2 years and had a puppy together. I broke up with him this past January—it basically boiled down to his habits at home getting on my nerves, our semi-regular bickering about dumb stuff like how I loaded the dishwasher, and my desire to date around (I NEVER cheated on him but towards the end, I definitely had a wandering eye and was curious about the dating scene—he was the only guy I had ever dated). While we were together, we were very serious. We’d talked about marriage and kids from probably 5 months on, and both of our families thought we would get married.
I started dating pretty much immediately after we separated—nothing serious, but I was having fun going on dates and meeting people. He was DEVASTATED for months—he went in phases of anger, to sadness, to wanting me back, back to anger, and so forth. Within the past three or so months, we started communicating regularly again, seeing each other more (mostly so he could see our dog), and generally getting back into old habits. This past month, we resumed texting basically all day, and he would call me just to chat and catch up at least once a day. I didn’t think much of it, it felt nice to be back in regular communication with my best friend! I have to admit though, I was starting to wonder what it would be like to get back together.
I pushed these feelings aside, however, writing them off as pure nostalgia. But today, I was innocently browsing Spotify, looking for new music, and decided to check out his profile—we have similar taste in music. I saw a new playlist with a girl’s name as the title. It was full of romantic/vaguely sexual songs. I decided not to let it bother me, wasn’t even going to bring it up to him, then I let it slip via text. He said he’s been seeing someone and he immediately got defensive. I asked why he was continuing to hang out with me, talk to me all the time, and regularly ask about getting back together if he’s been seeing someone. He said it's just casual and he didn't feel the need to tell me about her (obviously). He also said that I broke his heart and he had to move on, which I completely understand, but also said that he wants me, will always want me, and if he has to choose me or her, he’ll choose me.
I can’t tell if what I’m feeling now is just jealousy, or if I really do want to try our relationship again. I'm hurting really, really bad. Before this, I was having genuine thoughts about getting back together and what it would be like. I seriously feel like I got stabbed in the heart right now, which I know is hypocritical since I’ve been dating too. But we have the same morals, same values, same life goals, same sense of humor and interests, and he's always supported me in everything I do, even when we weren't a couple….the list goes on. I feel like we got too comfortable with each other, and I let the passion and appreciation I felt for him fade away.
I truly don’t know what to do. I told him we shouldn't talk for a few days, but I don't know what to do after that, or even how to sort through everything I'm feeling right now.

quote:

So it's just my mom and me at home, I don't really have any other family. My mom has 'itchy feet', as she puts it. She doesn't like staying in the same place very long, and constantly likes to move from place to place. Her job lets her work from home, and we don't have a lot of stuff so it's easy for us to move. I've just started 9th grade and I've attended 13 schools so far in my life.

I just started high school 2 weeks ago and my mom is already talking about being sick of this place. She wants to move AGAIN. I'm so sick of this. I don't have any friends and I haven't had any because we move so much. Is there anything I can say to her? She doesn't really listen when I talk to her but I'm so angry.

tl;dr: Mom loves to constantly move from place to place and I have no stability

Haifisch posted:

My mom (40F) gets bored of places really quickly and keeps moving me (14F) around and I'm sick of it.

Ask her which mob boss she's fleeing, imo.

quote:

I am an 24 year old male executive assistant in MD and I've been working for my boss for 7 years now, she is in her 50's. She was always touchy on the shoulders and what not and I never really thought anything of it... However yesterday was a meeting she's asked me for the last 2 weeks to tag along with, and it's nothing out of the ordinary for me to tag along to these kinds of things. 30 minutes into driving she's realised she has forgotten something at home that is needed for the meeting so she heads there which is about an hour and a half away from the office. We get there and she invites me in, and after 10 minutes comes downstairs with just a towel on and proceeds to tell me that if I don't give her what she wants then I won't have a job when I find my own way back to the office. At this point I'm completely appalled that she is not only serious, but that this is actually happening.

I felt cornered because I love my job, I am paid very well, and I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend very soon and if I did not have this job it wouldn't be possible. I went through with it and I have no idea what to do next. I feel ashamed so I haven't told anyone, because this situation isn't something that happens often. She told me to shower afterwards and I only showered parts of my body in case I needed the other parts to be untouched. I don't know what to do next.

Edit: My boss is vice president and her husband is the owner of the company.

Edit 2: thank you all for the overwhelming support, I am meeting with a lawyer tonight as they were eager to listen and figure out what's going on. I have saved everything I wore and put into sealed bags. I have also told my girlfriend and she was incredibly understanding and even connected me with her mom's lawyer who specializes in these types of things.

maskenfreiheit posted:

[MD] Boss in MD asks me to tag along to meeting, forces sexual activity at house. (self.legaladvice)

quote:

How do I [32F] get my mom [64F] to stop going crazy about North Korea?[new]
submitted 5 minutes ago * by lisalisasensei

I[32F] was born in the USA but have lived in Japan for about 15 years now (I studied abroad and then moved to Japan after graduation). My Mother[64F] and Father[61M] still live in the USA.

While I realize that yes, North Korea did shoot a missile over Japan the other day and that was scary, this has been going on for a long time. My Mother and I mainly communicate over facebook chat and she'll message me all the time with "Oh I'm so worried!" "Please be careful" "I can't believe North Korea!" I think it's gotten to the point where about half our conversations start with her worrying about North Korea. I got really angry with her recently because she messaged me "You've only got 10 minutes to take cover!!" which turned out to be absolutely nothing but she had me scared and I ended up in an angry argument with her.

Yes, I realize that North Korea is a threat and yes, it is best to be cautious. I cannot spend all day worrying about it like my mother though. This is starting to wear on me a lot because it has been constant for years. I feel like I've never communicated well with my mother yet every time I get on facebook she's there to talk to me with either "NORTH KOREA OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE" "Or hey, what's up?" and expecting me to provide the conversation. This has caused me to not even want to open facebook and I hardly post anything anymore, because yes, I am avoiding her. I honestly never feel like I want to talk to her about anything.

However, I'd really like to get my mother to relax. I'd really like if I could communicate better with her. I don't want to avoid her. I know she is very lonely as I am her child and I sort of just ran away to the other side of the earth. She is a very good mother but I feel like she has always been off the mark when it comes to understanding my feelings I guess. What can I do to help her? I do love her very much.

tl;dr: I'm in Japan and Mother is in the USA. She constantly worries about North Korea. How can I make her feel better when we never communicated well in the first place?

PetraCore posted:

I didn't intend to say that it was an equal compromise because it's not, there's no equal compromise in this equation. I was just trying to say that it was between 'completely cutting him out of her life to single parent' and 'her getting an abortion', because it is.

Pick posted:

Every boyfriend I've ever had has physically attacked me[F27][M26]Relationships
submitted 2 hours ago by likemilkandcookies

So to preface, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My bf today lost his temper, destroyed the car seat I just got as a gift, threw a knife across the room, then got in my face and started screaming at me. He told me I needed to "shut up before I hurt you"

I'm in shock. This whole argument started because I said that teachers actually do make a decent living compared to most if they make $40,000 a year. I said if they're married, they make $80,000 a year. And he accused me of constantly bringing up marriage? I was so lost that he would get upset over what I said that I yelled at him and told him he was acting like I was obsessed with him or something, implying that I've been trying to secretly bring up marriage every day and I didn't even want to marry him.

He lost it and kept saying why did you bring it up like he mentally snapped in the head.

This has happened to me before but not with him. With my last boyfriend. And the one before that. They don't have anything in common with each other. I dated an ex service member who worked as a chef in a fancy restaurant, a computer techy guy in computer repair, and now a construction worker.

Different ages, different home towns. Different personalities. But they all have one thing is common which is that they either have hit me, pushed me, or destroyed property while threatening me.

I'm starting to think it's me. I'm starting to lose trust that there is any man who can be with me and not hurt me.

Tl;dr keep getting hit or threatened by men who otherwise have nothing in common

Haifisch posted:

My mom (40F) gets bored of places really quickly and keeps moving me (14F) around and I'm sick of it.

Ask her which mob boss she's fleeing, imo.

Pick posted:

Every boyfriend I've ever had has physically attacked me[F27][M26]Relationships
submitted 2 hours ago by likemilkandcookies

So to preface, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My bf today lost his temper, destroyed the car seat I just got as a gift, threw a knife across the room, then got in my face and started screaming at me. He told me I needed to "shut up before I hurt you"

I'm in shock. This whole argument started because I said that teachers actually do make a decent living compared to most if they make $40,000 a year. I said if they're married, they make $80,000 a year. And he accused me of constantly bringing up marriage? I was so lost that he would get upset over what I said that I yelled at him and told him he was acting like I was obsessed with him or something, implying that I've been trying to secretly bring up marriage every day and I didn't even want to marry him.

He lost it and kept saying why did you bring it up like he mentally snapped in the head.

This has happened to me before but not with him. With my last boyfriend. And the one before that. They don't have anything in common with each other. I dated an ex service member who worked as a chef in a fancy restaurant, a computer techy guy in computer repair, and now a construction worker.

Different ages, different home towns. Different personalities. But they all have one thing is common which is that they either have hit me, pushed me, or destroyed property while threatening me.

I'm starting to think it's me. I'm starting to lose trust that there is any man who can be with me and not hurt me.

Tl;dr keep getting hit or threatened by men who otherwise have nothing in common

Pick posted:

Admiral Ray posted:

Men are garbage, OP, so in a way the problem is you since you keep hoping to find a decent one.

quote:

Throwaway, I'll try to keep this short.
I've been with him for about 18 months now. Age difference aside etc. Things are going great, I've moved in with him, we have a very loving relationship, no arguments and things would almost be perfect if this didn't bother me. But it does.
Now, I want to stress that this is not anything to do with his 'best friend' let's call her Lauren. Me and my boyfriend met through work, but I've since moved onto another job, so I know Lauren too. I think she's lovely and very bubbly, but wouldn't call her a friend of mine.
I think there is a lack of boundaries set by my boyfriend that causes me to be a bit insecure when it comes to her including:
Him mentioning at the start of the relationship that he and her would make the perfect couple.
I found this disrespectful at the time, but didn't think much of it and didn't call him out on it. I've held onto this ever since
She asked if I mind her texting him on the weekends, and he responded for me, saying it's something that doesn't bother me.
I don't mind the on and off texting, they're friends it's normal. But the issue I have here is that he set that boundary himself without consulting me
He's mentioned that his ex was jealous of his relationship with Lauren
There was one occasion where she got drunk and he was escorting her to the train station. She kissed him while stating "I love you and OP together, you two are so cute".
I appreciate his honesty when he told me this, however I didn't like it. It was more that he repeated it back to me like it was nothing and I should have found it funny. I saw it as a lack of boundaries
I had an emotional week last week. Won't go into it, but it was family, personal and work. He said he wouldn't go out, he'd save some money and come home instead to keep me company. Mid-afternoon, he changed his mind and decided to go out with his work friends.
I don't usually mind this, but given the situation of things and from what he said, I was incredibly upset that he chose to spend an evening with her (plus others) - they already see each other 5 days a week, and he went back on his word to go out with them
On a weekend where we were both looking forward to spend time together, he was texting Lauren about the morning run we did (I don't see why she has to know or why it couldn't wait until Monday) He also spent a considerable amount of time texting her during the afternoon in the pub. (I was upstairs in the flat, not much of a drinker).
From that conversation in the pub, he said he had to approve of any boyfriends she had, like she approved me.
I had no idea that I even needed her approval, I in return didn't ask my closest friends to approve him. This made me feel really uncomfortable.
On top of the above, he's aware that their friendship bothers me a bit, and I've started noticing that he doesn't mention her as much but omits her if he's going out. I'm not sure whether this is intentional or not but I've noticed that he will mention Lauren being somewhere but not initially mentioning it.
Because I met him through work, and we kept our relationship very quiet until I left, I feel like it could happen again? I wasn't his first work relationship either which adds to my insecurities.
Am I being unreasonable and jealous over a simple friendship or are there boundaries being crossed here? I have a very relaxed take on texting my friends, I usually don't text them back and don't see the need to update them with everything that I do.
I've spoken about this to him in the past and every time he has reassured me that it's nothing more than friends and that he truly loves me etc. I personally think actions speak louder than words. Although he is so so caring and loving towards me, I never seem to be able to get my point across when I mention it because I don't want to seem like an unreasonable jealous girlfriend.
Deep down, my insecurities will think that he will always choose her too.
Am I being reasonable? How can I talk to him about this without coming across as controlling?
EDIT: Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for taking their time to respond, I honestly wasn't expecting this many! I'd just like to clarify on a few points in my original post:
She is his best friend for the past 5 or 6 years, although they work in the same office. They clearly are more than just colleagues and see each other as dear friends.
I have no doubt that my boyfriend loves me and cares about me. He's the type to constantly text me, especially when I'm ill or in a minor accident, he has to make sure that I'm okay. I've had a traumatic year and he has been there for me and my family 100%, supporting me and my dad. To put it in perspective, my mother passed away very suddenly and my father is no longer in the country. My brother is useless and I know I can rely on my boyfriend.
I want to stress that I've only focused on the negatives in the post. All I want to make him aware of is that the things he says to me can be quite insensitive, and perhaps some boundaries could be set. I in no way want to get between their friendship and I know that mistakes (e.g. the kiss and drunken adventures) can happen, but I truly appreciate that he told me everything out of honesty.
I know that she is currently seeing someone, which led to the conversation of my boyfriend "approving" who she sees.
I will have a conversation with him to point these things out, and hopefully I'll update you all in a few days time.
Again, thank you everyone for your responses.
tl;dr: I have an issue with the boundaries that my boyfriend does not set with his female best friend at work, am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

maskenfreiheit posted:

I remember when I stayed in Tokyo, my hostel was near to the Ministry of Defense. They rolled out some big rear end missile launchers because Kim was illin'

Really added to that Shinjuku cyberpunk aesthetic.

I strongly suspect Japan is capable of shooting down a lone nuke if need be.

Pick posted:

Every boyfriend I've ever had has physically attacked me[F27][M26]Relationships
submitted 2 hours ago by likemilkandcookies

So to preface, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My bf today lost his temper, destroyed the car seat I just got as a gift, threw a knife across the room, then got in my face and started screaming at me. He told me I needed to "shut up before I hurt you"

I'm in shock. This whole argument started because I said that teachers actually do make a decent living compared to most if they make $40,000 a year. I said if they're married, they make $80,000 a year. And he accused me of constantly bringing up marriage? I was so lost that he would get upset over what I said that I yelled at him and told him he was acting like I was obsessed with him or something, implying that I've been trying to secretly bring up marriage every day and I didn't even want to marry him.

He lost it and kept saying why did you bring it up like he mentally snapped in the head.

This has happened to me before but not with him. With my last boyfriend. And the one before that. They don't have anything in common with each other. I dated an ex service member who worked as a chef in a fancy restaurant, a computer techy guy in computer repair, and now a construction worker.

Different ages, different home towns. Different personalities. But they all have one thing is common which is that they either have hit me, pushed me, or destroyed property while threatening me.

I'm starting to think it's me. I'm starting to lose trust that there is any man who can be with me and not hurt me.

Tl;dr keep getting hit or threatened by men who otherwise have nothing in common

Pick posted:

My exes always broke up with me (34F) after proposing. Why?Breakups
submitted 2 hours ago by alwaysbealone

I had four serious, long-term relationships in my life (lasting 3, 1.5, 1.8 and 2.5 years). All of them ended with proposal. And in all of them, my exes would break up with me a few weeks later. They always gave almost the same reason: "I don't feel it anymore", "I've started feeling cold", "I got bored with the relationship."

All of these were painful breakups.

I don't understand it. It happens once - okay, good, next. But when it happened four times, then it must be because of me, not because of them. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I take care of myself. I am considered to be attractive. I have a healthy body. People describe me as honest, kind and intelligent. I have hobbies that I do in my free time and a lot of interests. I've always had. I have a Master's degree and I work in my field. I have friends so my life never revolved only around my boyfriends (fiances?). People say I am easy-going.

I was in relationships with men who had the same life goals - all of them wanted children, marriage, etc. Three of them are actually married now.

I never pressured for engagements or marriage. Never. I was easy-going about these things. I discussed them normally and not obsessively.

All my relationships were extremely passionate and I'm a passionate person by nature. Maybe that was a problem? Maybe passion wore out after engaging? But I see no common sense in there, really.

If they were never into me, why propose to me? What made them do that? I didn't make them do that. I never asked for that. But they did propose, and then they left. I don't get it, I seriously don't get it.

If I get into another relationship, I think I'll start fearing a possible engagement and just say"no" to proposal. Or I'll say I don't want to get married or whatever. Even though I do, eventually.

I loved all these men. I loved them with all my heart. It's been 5 months since my last breakup and I'm still not completely over the last guy. Why would he do that to me?

Tl;dr - All my relationship ended up in proposal and then my exes would break up a few weeks later. I don't understand why.

PetraCore posted:

OP is prophecied to bring the apocolypse on her wedding date, the fiances are getting warned by the mysterious government organization dedicated to preventing this. They knew if they didn't break it off with her, they'd fall down a long flight of stairs into the road.

quote:

I know how it sounds... but hear me out.
I've been a manager at a restaurant for 5 years now. "Amy" started working here 8 months ago as an assistant manager (FTR the owner hired her, not me) and she's great. She's an outstanding worker, she's committed, the entire team loves her and customers are always complimenting her and her work.

Amy is out of this world, you guys. She's intelligent, strong willed, energetic, super funny and absolutely gorgeous. We work well together, we're always making each other laugh and we're both 'outsiders' in a way I guess, so I feel like we have a somewhat unique understanding of each other.

I've been attracted to her from day one, but I've never said or done anything to suggest something was up because I'd recently gotten out of a long term relationship when she started working here and I'm her boss. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable at work by being the 'sleazy, older male boss' stereotype by hitting on her while she's trying to work, so I've been careful to keep it professional and to keep my distance.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. The team went out to a bar a couple of weeks ago to celebrate some recent successes. We drank, we ate dinner then most of our group left while the rest of us stayed back to drink some more. We're a close knit team so this kind of socialising outside of work isn't uncommon for us. We always keep things above board.

To cut a long story short, I got pretty drunk and so did Amy. Towards the end of the night we kissed... a lot. Nothing else happened and we went our separate ways at the end of the night.

I woke up the next day and immediately started panicking. I messaged Amy apologising profusely for the previous night and I told her I felt extreme regret for overstepping the professional boundary between us, told her I'm sorry for putting her in an uncomfortable position and that it'd never happen again and how can I make things right blah blah...

She promptly texted back saying "Hey [my name]! Hope you're holding up alright today. There's no need to apologise for last night, I had a great time! Although I am a little bit disappointed to hear you regret kissing me hahaha! Am I that bad at it?! Oh well. Wanna catch up over a donut?"

She really likes donuts. Anyway we got together and again I apologised for acting improperly as her boss and asked if she wanted me to create some distance at work or do anything else to make her feel comfortable again. She kept on reassuring me that it was fine, she didn't feel uncomfortable in the slightest and reminded me she was drunk as well. She even said she was "just glad we finally got it out of the way because the sexual tension was becoming unbearable".

I was dumbfounded... and a little embarrassed. I thought I'd done a good job at hiding my feelings. Apparently not. And I guess she understood what I was thinking from my facial expression because she asked point blank if I had feelings for her! I said yes and she said she'd had feelings for me for a while now(!!!) BUT she didn't want to pursue her feelings because she has a strict rule that she does not date coworkers.
She went on to explain that her ex was also her coworker for the 3 years they dated, and when they broke up she was forced to leave her job which really upset her because she loved working there. She decided then she wouldn't date a coworker and confessed that even kissing me was a "mini violation".

I told her she didn't owe me an explanation, that I understood and apologised again. She told me for the 100th time it was fine and she was happy it had happened. She jokingly said that if I wanted to kiss her again I'd have to fire her, but until then she hoped we could continue being friends. We agreed to stay friends.

So that was 2 weeks ago. Since then Amy has been normal as ever and not awkward at all... meanwhile I can barely keep my composure around this girl! She acts as if nothing ever happened and it kinda hurts but it's also kinda endearing, like nothing phases this girl because she's so independent and always so content in the present moment. Meanwhile I'm over here feeling like a teenage boy experiencing my first crush.
I don't know what to do. I personally don't have any issues with dating someone I work with, but then again it's something I've never seriously considered. Either way it doesn't matter because Amy doesn't want to date a coworker and I respect her boundaries 100%.

But I'm so, so into this girl I'm seriously considering quitting my job so I can be with her

On one hand, I love my job and I've spent the past 5 years investing my time and energy into this place. I'm good friends with many of my coworkers and I don't want to jeopardise that. I'm comfortable here and it's not something I'm willing to give up easily.

But on the other hand... I feel like Amy is worth the risk. With my experience I'm sure I could find another job with an equivalent role, pay, set of duties and entitlements within a month or two if I started looking now. I feel young(ish), dumb and in love. Amy and I similar lifestyles and goals so I know we have potential as a couple. Aside from what I've mentioned above, she's indicated she'd consider 'us' seriously, though I can't be 100% sure on that...
What should I do?

TL;DR: I'm crazy about my coworker Amy. She's strong willed, intelligent, funny and beautiful. We kissed on a night out two weeks ago and the next day we confessed our feelings for each other, but she said she doesn't date coworkers (I'm her boss). I'm confident I could find another job without much difficulty, but am I crazy for considering leaving my job to be with this girl?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Normally I'd laugh at the op but you know if she's actually reciprocating then yeah find another job and try and make it work