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Haifisch posted:My (33F) sister (32F) putting down my daughter (7F) for being attractive. I mean, have you seen the way that girl eats crackers?
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Aug 31, 2017 05:17
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David Heinrich posted:I [24F] do not feel comfortable with my boyfriend [36M] and his 'best friend' [30sF] at work. Am I being unreasonable? Or just jealous?
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Aug 31, 2017 05:36
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Pick posted:yeah this was a sexual ashcroft, an unknown unknown you're thinking of rumsfeld
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Aug 31, 2017 06:50
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ArbitraryC posted:This is like the perfect mirror r/relationship post. The dude simultaneously triggers every red flag you could ever have while still maintaining measurable dedication to their relationship. I started off thinking "he is either cheating or at least wants to with her" and ended the post thinking "well maybe he really he does just view her as a sister and needs to establish better boundaries". I mean my initial reaction was "ok work wife, what's wrong with -- oh. uh. dial it back a bit, yo" since I'm a work-wife kinda person as well but you should really not be prioritizing your work wife over your real SO if you have any desire to continue that relationship
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Aug 31, 2017 07:22
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areyoucontagious posted:Your mom is right about you. She might not be American. 'Whilst' is perfectly normal over here in  . I am sorry you guys are bad at words.
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Aug 31, 2017 10:56
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David Heinrich posted:I (21 F) don't know what to do about my long term boyfriend now ex (23 M). I'm absolutely devastated and crushed i mean, yeah LOL pokemon cards, but some of those are worth decent money (20-50 bucks a pop for non first edition). some places place the threshold for felony burglary pretty low (like around $500) because the law was written when that got you 40 acres and a black guy to plow it honestly if i was him i'd just call the police and say my GF stole some items from me and I'm willing to not ask for charges to be pressed if she returns them and agrees not to contact me. Edit: also maybe he hadn't been home because he's avoiding his stalker ex maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 14:11
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David Heinrich posted:I don't blame the guy at all. The woman is kind of a crazily lovely person if he told her he has feelings for her, though that's kind of ambiguous. If he did, it really does read like her just using someone who she knows wants to go out with her for a place to stay. If she honestly doesn't know that he wants to go out with her, I can't really blame her for relying on a friend to help her out in a bad situation; it was more just the abrupt nature and construction of the narrative (Really nice dude who is in love with a girl, pays for everything to the point he's struggling financially, literally finds her sucking Chad's dick in the living room) read exactly like something I'd see on that sub. I don't think he's told her about how he feels yet. It's totally fine that he's feeling that way if he's still harboring feelings for her, but he needs to tell her how he feels for his own sanity. Short version of what he needs to say: "Hey so I've really tried to just be there for you as a friend, but I can't help how I feel. If you don't feel the same way we can still be friends but you'll need to find somewhere else to live because this has been difficult for me to deal with". Assuming of course he wants to be just friends with her still. She doesn't sound like some monster or anything (though blowing a dude in the common living space of your friends house where you're crashing is pretty dumb/selfish) so she just needs to know what the guy is going through so she can at the very least keep her hookups to her room and quiet in the short term.
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Aug 31, 2017 14:23
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Cat Army
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Ouhei posted:I don't think he's told her about how he feels yet. throwing someone out of their home because they won't gently caress you is pretty lovely, she should tell him to pound sand and get a lawyer, then bring some more guys over to loudly gently caress
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Aug 31, 2017 14:25
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Haifisch posted:My (33F) sister (32F) putting down my daughter (7F) for being attractive. Tell your sister if she doesn't stop it immediately and permanently you're going to beat her senseless with a hammer. Buy a framing hammer first, if necessary.
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Aug 31, 2017 14:31
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tactlessbastard posted:Tell your sister if she doesn't stop it immediately and permanently you're going to beat her senseless with a hammer. Like this Heavy enough to really get your point across, long enough for that extra momentum, but not unwieldy like a sledge or maul.
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Aug 31, 2017 14:42
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:you're thinking of rumsfeld Dammit I always thought so and then someone corrected me the other day, and now it turns out I was right!! Arrrgh I hate that!! Now I'm going to be confused about it forever 
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Aug 31, 2017 14:49
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TheKennedys posted:I mean my initial reaction was "ok work wife, what's wrong with -- oh. uh. dial it back a bit, yo" since I'm a work-wife kinda person as well but you should really not be prioritizing your work wife over your real SO if you have any desire to continue that relationship What the gently caress is a "work-wife" and why are multiple goons claiming they have this kind of relationship with someone without realizing you're asking for trouble? j.f. f-in' c.
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Aug 31, 2017 14:50
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"Ha ha don't worry, boyfriend, he's just the guy at work I call my 'work-husband' and we have a strong emotional relationship and rely on each other for 9 hours a day, which coincidentally is more than I am able to see you now due to how busy and tired we are. It's easy because since it's a work environment, I only see a responsible, sanitized version of him! But I promise, we're not loving! We're doing literally everything else to develop trust and reliance in our relationship, except sex. That would never happen unless I dumped you and then got with him, which coincidentally, I could do at literally any time."
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Aug 31, 2017 14:57
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maskenfreiheit posted:throwing someone out of their home because they won't gently caress you is pretty lovely, she should tell him to pound sand and get a lawyer, then bring some more guys over to loudly gently caress Do you bother reading things before making dumb posts? Not saying kick her out because she won't gently caress him. The current situation is not working out, if he can't handle her hooking up with people while they live together then they shouldn't live together. He owes it to himself and her to be honest about why the living situation isn't working out because bottling that poo poo up is only going to make things worse for both of them and lying to your friend is lovely. I'm also not saying to kick her to the curb that loving day or anything, work out how it happens either at the end of their lease or find a subleaser or whatever.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:00
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My female coworker keeps announcing that she is my boyfriend's work wife even though I work at the same store and it has basically made me aware that she has terrible boundaries and that I am am a bit relieved that she is either transferring stores or moving interstate soon.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:00
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Pick posted:What the gently caress is a "work-wife" and why are multiple goons claiming they have this kind of relationship with someone without realizing you're asking for trouble? j.f. f-in' c. I used to be work poly but then I grew out of it
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Aug 31, 2017 15:07
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Pick posted:What the gently caress is a "work-wife" and why are multiple goons claiming they have this kind of relationship with someone without realizing you're asking for trouble? j.f. f-in' c. It's a weird term used to describe the closest friend you have of the (most of the time) opposite sex at work. It's become a more common term over the last 10 years or so, but it's been around for a long time. I think people use it fairly loosely these days and usually in a joking manner, but without setting (or naturally having) boundaries they're a huge problem for sure, like in the posted example.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:10
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Ouhei posted:It's a weird term used to describe the closest friend you have of the (most of the time) opposite sex at work. It's become a more common term over the last 10 years or so, but it's been around for a long time. I think people use it fairly loosely these days and usually in a joking manner, but without setting (or naturally having) boundaries they're a huge problem for sure, like in the posted example. A lot of things that people say are fine and not to worry about in the last 10 years have been klaxxons for huge problems that people refuse to acknowledge and deliberately try to deflate with cutesy terms, I will categorize this in there
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Aug 31, 2017 15:12
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Pick posted:A lot of things that people say are fine and not to worry about in the last 10 years have been klaxxons for huge problems that people refuse to acknowledge and deliberately try to deflate with cutesy terms, I will categorize this in there It is 100% this, yes.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:15
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Pick posted:A lot of things that people say are fine and not to worry about in the last 10 years have been klaxxons for huge problems that people refuse to acknowledge and deliberately try to deflate with cutesy terms, I will categorize this in there Oh, her? Nah baby, she's just my wibbly wobbly jobby concubiny, it's all kosher.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:19
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Pick posted:A lot of things that people say are fine and not to worry about in the last 10 years have been klaxxons for huge problems that people refuse to acknowledge and deliberately try to deflate with cutesy terms, I will categorize this in there I don't disagree, I think it's a dumb term even when used in the most innocent manner.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:22
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David Heinrich posted:Me [22M] with a [23 F] friend of five years, can't help but feel hurt. I don't care if you're a guy living with 3 other dudes, a woman sharing an apartment with 1 other girl, or some lady being creepily pined after for 5 loving years, it's incredibly gross and rude to have sex in the living room or any shared living space. There's a reason why bedrooms exist for your trashy rear end. Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 15:27 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 15:24
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Yeah what is a workwife/husband? Ive had friends at work of both genders but never heard the term work-wife or work-husband, is that a american thing? Do they get you food and backrubs? do you have to scratch their back even if you are really tired but if you dont do it he/she gets really huffy and you both are passive agressive for an hour? e: oh should press refresh from time to time datajugend fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 15:40
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datajugend posted:Yeah what is a workwife/husband? Ive had friends at work of both genders but never heard the term work-wife or work-husband, is that a american thing? Do they get you food and backrubs? do you have to scratch their back even if you are really tired but if you dont do it he/she gets really huffy and you both are passive agressive for an hour? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_spouse
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Aug 31, 2017 15:49
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Pick posted:Dammit I always thought so and then someone corrected me the other day, and now it turns out I was right!! Arrrgh I hate that!! Now I'm going to be confused about it forever A known unknown David Heinrich posted:I'm [26 F] stuck in a horrible place in my 14 month relationship with my boyfriend [26 M]. Going through something p. Similar in the sims rn
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Aug 31, 2017 15:54
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HazCat posted:It is 100% this, yes. Even the term "coworker with boundary issues" you used feels like a stand in for "grubby opportunistic skank who can't be trusted" 
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Aug 31, 2017 15:56
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Ouhei posted:Do you bother reading things before making dumb posts? sounds like it's working out fine, except for the op's sadbrains. "not wanting to gently caress OP" is not a lease violation.
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Aug 31, 2017 15:58
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"See also: Emotional Affair"
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Aug 31, 2017 15:59
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maskenfreiheit posted:"See also: Emotional Affair" Not an unfair assessment but I feel there's respectful ways to do it.
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Aug 31, 2017 16:03
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feedmegin posted:She might not be American. 'Whilst' is perfectly normal over here in you say this as though it doesn't simply indicate a culture-wide pandemic of insufferable-ness
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Aug 31, 2017 16:05
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Pick posted:Even the term "coworker with boundary issues" you used feels like a stand in for "grubby opportunistic skank who can't be trusted" If she wanted to bone him, maybe. She is just super emotionally needy and cannot understand that sometimes pushing boundaries makes people never want to talk to you again. When she found out my boyfriend and I were moving to get access to slightly better Internet (  ), she started excitedly talking about how she could spend time at our place every day to stream on Twitch and would even pay us rent!!!
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Aug 31, 2017 16:09
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maskenfreiheit posted:sounds like it's working out fine, except for the op's sadbrains. "not wanting to gently caress OP" is not a lease violation. I'd agree with you if it were an equal roommate relationship, but it isn't. He's paying for the majority of stuff and essentially supporting her, something that's putting a pretty harsh strain on him financially. That's a nice thing to do for a friend, but expecting it from him, especially when it's also at the cost of his emotional well being, is silly. The main thing here is that she's not doing anything wrong by not loving the guy; not at all. If he wanted to gently caress her and she said no, but he could live with it and sort of just shrugged it off, they could totally still live together. It's the fact that it's ripping up his mental state having her there, loving other guys, while he supports her. While she's not doing anything wrong, he's bringing a massive amount of stress on supporting her, and he really shouldn't have to do that.
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Aug 31, 2017 16:09
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:you're thinking of rumsfeld nobody wants to think of a sexual rumsfeld
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Aug 31, 2017 16:10
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Huh. The only times I've heard people talk about work spouses in real life it's been more sarcastic/teasing than anything, like the grown-up equivalent of schoolkids going "why were you talking to Suzy at recess you must be maaaarrriiiieed." The idea that people out there actually take that sort of thing remotely seriously is very 
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Aug 31, 2017 16:15
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I am all about opposite sex friendship being normalized. Most of my friends are female. That said if my wife started talking about a work husband I'd be doing  IRL
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Aug 31, 2017 16:16
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Tater Love 
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Literally never heard of "work wives" offline but then I don't tend to roll with goobers who think they're Don Draper My (26) Boyfriend (25) won't clean up after himself after playing his fiddle. quote:So to dive right into it, my boyfriend is a slob. I'm a organized person. Not because I want to be but I have ADHD and it affects me alot if the house is dirty. After a year Ive been doing a good chunk of most of the chores. I've accepted it as my only other option is to break up and I do love him. My [18 F] dad [55 M] only walks around in underwear, how do I ask him to stop? quote:He often wears only boxer shorts which I find uncomfortable enough personally, but lately (within the past year) his genitals will often slip out of the front in full view. He either does not notice or does not care. He doesn't like me very much so I'm not sure how to ask him to at least be self conscious enough to know that he's basically walking around nude sometimes.
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Aug 31, 2017 16:20
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zakharov posted:I am all about opposite sex friendship being normalized. Most of my friends are female. That said if my wife started talking about a work husband I'd be doing Yeah, I've gotten into that argument a lot. It's annoying when people say "Men and women can't be friends", something I hear a lot, and which just isn't true and usually tells me more about the person saying it than anything. A friendship where one friend wants to gently caress the other and that isn't reciprocated isn't going to work out, but not every person with compatible parts wants to bang, and a friendship with two guys where at least one is gay and really wants to go out with the other but he doesn't reciprocate is just as likely to fail. That was sort of a tangent, but either way work spouse poo poo is dumb.
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Aug 31, 2017 16:21
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Straight White Shark posted:Huh. The only times I've heard people talk about work spouses in real life it's been more sarcastic/teasing than anything, like the grown-up equivalent of schoolkids going "why were you talking to Suzy at recess you must be maaaarrriiiieed." The idea that people out there actually take that sort of thing remotely seriously is very It's a very well documented thing. Though the expert's are torn on whether it's a good thing or bad. IME it's a good thing Why science says you should have a work spouse you'd be surprised at how many people have crossed the line with their work spouse
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Aug 31, 2017 16:23
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Ride The Gravitron posted:It's a very well documented thing. Though the expert's are torn on whether it's a good thing or bad. IME it's a good thing "Honey, you don't understand! I had to suck his dick, it was science!"
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Aug 31, 2017 16:24
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David Heinrich posted:I'd agree with you if it were an equal roommate relationship, but it isn't. He's paying for the majority of stuff and essentially supporting her, something that's putting a pretty harsh strain on him financially. That's a nice thing to do for a friend, but expecting it from him, especially when it's also at the cost of his emotional well being, is silly. The main thing here is that she's not doing anything wrong by not loving the guy; not at all. If he wanted to gently caress her and she said no, but he could live with it and sort of just shrugged it off, they could totally still live together. It's the fact that it's ripping up his mental state having her there, loving other guys, while he supports her. While she's not doing anything wrong, he's bringing a massive amount of stress on supporting her, and he really shouldn't have to do that. Yeah, though I'd say all of this still applies even if they were splitting the rent 50/50. The main issue is that he cannot deal with the living arrangement as it exists, it's not anything that's a lease violation or anything, but it's enough that he should seek a way to change his living situation. I said she should find somewhere else because the way he worded it, it sounded like she might just be living in his house/where he lived but re-reading it does sound like they rent a place together and he just pays more. He could phrase it as he's going to find another place to live, but the main point is that he shouldn't be living with her if he can't deal with her having relationships while they live in the same house.
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Aug 31, 2017 16:24
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