/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

what does it mean when she says let's go play mario kart in my dorm? (self.dating_advice)

quote:

is it some kind of code word or does she really want to play mario kart?

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:41

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:48

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

maskenfreiheit posted:

what does it mean when she says let's go play mario kart in my dorm? (self.dating_advice)

Mario Kart & chill.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:44

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Mario Kart & chill.

MARIO DOESN'T MEAN MARIO JERRY

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:47

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Mario Kart & chill.

Mario Kart & rage.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:47

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Mario Kart is a gateway to hatesex.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

maskenfreiheit posted:

I [28M] am attracted to my gf [22F] of 3 months' mind, but not her bodyRelationships

Oh well la de dah look at fancyass over here who thinks he gets a woman who meets exactly every single one of his preferences. What are you, the King of Prussia?

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:49

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

David Heinrich posted:

Mario Kart is a gateway to hatesex.

Only if you care about winning. :shrug:

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:49

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

(27/M) Having a meetup with a long time online friend (25/M) I saw he has a TON of candid pictures of me on his phoneNon-Romantic
(self.relationships)

quote:

Yo Reddit!! So Im kinda of really creeped out right now and dunno what I should do. Posting cause I feel weird talking to any of my friends about this because it's someone I've just met in person (were friends online). My real life friends don't really have online friendships and don't see the point, and my other Internet friends know him online too. Anyway I met this guy gaming a couple years ago. We were on the same team (still are) some of our other online friends are also on that team, but me and him especially got along because we have the same sense of humor. That led to talking more and adding eachother on other places. We eventually became pretty good friends and have chatted a few times a week over the past year or so.

A few weeks ago he told me he was planning a trip to my city to visit family. We thought it'd be cool to meet and hang out in person after. I invited him to stay with me for a weekend. He booked his plane tickets to spend this past week with his family and then the long weekend with me.

Now we're at this weekend. Yesterday he came and met me at my address. We hung out yesterday afternoon and night, went to the bar and just shot the poo poo. It was normal as could be, and felt like we were old friends. We got along in-person just as online. So far so good!

And then today is when the problem started.

He wanted to show me a pic on his phone when he closed out of it I saw what looked like a bunch of pics of me in the gallery. He seemed to quickly move his phone away. An hour ago he went to shower, and I got too curious and had an uncomfortable feeling. So, I snooped and looked. I found dozens of random candid pictures of me. He hasn't asked to take any of these and had no reason to take them, its all just poo poo like me walking or sitting on the couch. There were also a bunch of me sleeping including close up shots of my face. We slept in different rooms. What the gently caress.

I hadn't been suspicious cause I always thought he was just playing on his phone a lot like some people do not secretly taking pics of me. It was hidden in plain sight. I'm seriously weirded out now, why does he have these? I can't think of anything but that he's into me or something? Never said he's into guys but I guess could be?

Then I'm also creeped out because, I'm probably over thinking now that I saw this but there's been things he's said that don't make sense and I think he might have lied to me..

He said he was visiting family here and when I asked where they lived he didn't have a street name, he said in the "East Side" but there's no place called that in my city.

He wanted to go see a couple popular tourist spots. When I joked about had his family never shown him he was like "yeah not really" which is possible but they're like really impossible to not go to so I don't know.

He's also on a few occasions shown he didn't know about something obvious to do with things around here that you'd figure he'd be familiar with after a week. Basically it seems like he just got here

Also the tag thing on his suitcase from the airport has yesterday's date on it. Wouldn't that mean he got here yesterday, not last weekend?

Unless I'm going crazy or being paranoid, I think he lied about visiting family. But why, what's the point?? If he wanted to visit he could have asked, I'd probably have agreed. Why go to the trouble of making up a story that he's gonna happen to be here and do I want to meet up

Just confused and not sure I know exactly who this guy is anymore or what he wants. We're on our laptops in my living room watching tv and I'm acting like everything's normal while writing this post. Anyone got any advice? Honestly I'd rather him leave unless there's a good explanation but his flight is Tuesday. What do I do until then? I also want him to delete those creepy pictures of me.

Thanks!!!

TL:DR I have an online friend visiting for the weekend, who I discovered has been taking a lot of pictures of me, might have lied about his reason for visiting, and I feel awkward now.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:52

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

maskenfreiheit posted:

(27/M) Having a meetup with a long time online friend (25/M) I saw he has a TON of candid pictures of me on his phoneNon-Romantic
(self.relationships)

Ah, I love pre-murder mysteries.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:56

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

Pick posted:

Oh well la de dah look at fancyass over here who thinks he gets a woman who meets exactly every single one of his preferences. What are you, the King of Prussia?

even the Duke of Braunschweig doesn't get to have that kind of pickiness.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jason Sextro posted:

even the Duke of Braunschweig doesn't get to have that kind of pickiness.

TBH men of that period seemed to have way more reasonable standards. gently caress.

If you ever look at the art of famously beautiful princesses, even discounting that they were painted to be flattering, sometimes you're like "oh they look like normal people".

Woooow, crazy!

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:59

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

maskenfreiheit posted:

what does it mean when she says let's go play mario kart in my dorm? (self.dating_advice)

In college, me and my best friend's brother would go play Diablo 2 in my dorm room after classes were done and and we had socialized out in the commons for a couple of hours. One girl was convinced we were loving like horny rabbits for months, and that we were talking in code to keep it on the downlow. Her gaydar was broken, though. She had a crush on the swishiest femboi I've ever known and she was convinced that the guy was straight. It turned out that they were cousins and everyone had a good laugh.

That's my hot, gay, dorm-sex story.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 22:32

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [mid20s/F] am falling for a guy [late30's/M] who I feel like has some red flags. Need advice on whether I'm just being judgmental or that I need to back off away from this one

quote:

It's been a very long time since I've been so attracted to someone like him. He's educated, witty, easygoing, works out, has a stable job, seems gets along with everyone from kids to elders, and he seems to be a big family guy, and... we have a lot of sexual chemistry.

The problem however, is that the more my feelings grow for him, the more unease I feel with myself, if that makes sense. Almost everything about him is great and I feel like I'm being unrealistic if I expect him to be perfect, because no is. But at the same time, I'm also wondering if I should really not ignore certain things about him, the things he say and the things he do. I'd really appreciate some outside perspective on this.

When we first met, I thought he was probably in his late 20's. It wasn't until we started being friends/close to dating that he hinted at being in his 30's. He was talking about his friend one time, and I asked him how old is his friend. Instead of just telling me his friend's age, he said "Oh he's around my age" and left it at that. I thought that was weird because that tells me nothing since I don't even know HIS age. I didn't push at that time though.

Weeks later he was talking about his younger brother. I asked him how many years apart is his brother and him, he hesitated and told me four. I'm like ok.. so exactly how old is your brother? And he hesitated some more, starting to look uncomfortable, then finally said 33. So that was when I figured or he's 37. I know some of you might wonder why didn't I just asked for his age straight up from the beginning, and it was because he always looked uncomfortable/hesitant when the age question came up so I didn't push until this specific situation.

1. He goes to frat parties. How often, I'm not sure. But it kind of worries me that this guy is in his 30's and still going to frat parties. I tried to be positive and think that maybe there's nothing wrong with this and I'm just being judgmental. The negative side of me is thinking that he still go to these parties because he wants to hook up with younger girls.

2. He says he has never been married, has no kids, and have never really been in a serious/long-term relationship. I asked him if this was by choice and he said it's not, but I'm not sure if I believe him...

3. He's constantly going out with his friends every weekend. There's not one weekend that he stays in. We see each other once a week but it is never on a Friday or Saturday night. He says it's because he knows I work on those days and didn't think I'd want to see him after working all day, but he never bothered to ask me and just made this assumption. If I tell him I want to see him after work and it happens to be on a Friday or Saturday, he'd tell me sorry and that he already made plans.

4. He tells me he wants me and all that but whenever I hint at exclusive dating, he sort of avoid the conversation. He would say something like "you're a busy person, and I'm also crazy busy myself. You know I want you, I just can't see you as much as you'd want me to". If I try to push for a more direct answer, as to whether he has serious feelings for me or if I'm just a fling, he would try end the conversation by saying "I can't think about this right now, let's talk about this later", and we never do. Again.. I'm trying to be positive and think that he does care for me, and maybe that I'm the only issue here for trying to push for something exclusive when we've been seeing each other for only a few months.

5. He lives with his dad and his stepmom. He says he's still living there to help out his dad but not sure if I should believe this one.

6. He plays poker every. Single. Day. I'm not that familiar with poker so I sort of just assumed it's gambling since it's also in casinos. He told me it is NOT gambling because poker requires skill, not luck.

7. I recently became friends with him on Facebook and I noticed a lot of his female friends are in their 20's. This sort of makes me insecure because now I'm not sure if he's dating me because he's really into me or if he's just really into younger girls.

TL;DR I'm falling for this guy who is amazing in many ways but there are things about him that worries me. Im afraid I'm being too judgmental and need some outside perspective. 1. He was very hesitant on telling me his age in the beginning 2. He's in his 30's and still going to frat parties 3. He has never been married, has no kids, and never been in a serious/long term relationship 4. He goes out every weekend; never able to see me on a Friday or Saturday night 5. He avoids conversations of exclusive dating but makes it clear that he really wants me. 6. He still lives in the same house with his dad and stepmom 7. He plays poker everyday as if it's his second job. 8. He has a ton of female friends in their 20's on Facebook which makes me wonder if younger girls are his thing

# ? Sep 3, 2017 22:34

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

I [mid20s/F] am falling for a guy [late30's/M] who I feel like has some red flags. Need advice on whether I'm just being judgmental or that I need to back off away from this one

No red flags here, this sleazy dude going to frat parties is just a catch! Those feelings of unease you are getting are just feelings of self-doubt and sabotage! Hook this one before he escapes because there's absolutely no other guys out there that will use you and then dump you!

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:16

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Admiral Ray posted:

No red flags here, this sleazy dude going to frat parties is just a catch! Those feelings of unease you are getting are just feelings of self-doubt and sabotage! Hook this one before he escapes because there's absolutely no other guys out there that will use you and then dump you!

And poker is a game of skill - no one loses, except the house

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:39

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Hi there, please help. My partner, recently told me that she's going on a short holiday to stay with a male friend in another country.

quote:

I am a bit paranoid about relationships, I do have some insecurities, but I am very uncomfortable about this. My first problem is that she didn't discuss it with me first, she just told me that she was going. Now obviously I can't control where she goes and who she sees, but I would have liked the chance to talk about it with her first. Second - I'm just so worried that my suspicions will be confirmed. She's never been unfaithful but I have been cheated on in a past relationship which is why I'm freaking out a bit.

Our relationship is not perfect - we live together, but at the moment she's spending a lot of time talking to her online friends and it's very hard to talk to her when she's in that bubble. We spend less time together than we used to. I've spoken to her about these concerns and she has made a small effort to spend more time with me.

The guy she's going to stay with is single and has just recently had a breakup.

We spoke about it and she said she didn't talk to me about it beforehand because she knew how I'd react. I got very upset about it, and she felt bad. I told her I objected to the holiday and that I don't want her to go, but I can't stop her. She's still going.

Any insight or advice you could give would be really appreciated.

tl;dr: Girlfriend going to stay with male friend for a short holiday, I'm freaking out, please advise.

EDIT: She's known this person about 5 years but I don't think they've met in person before. They've just started talking more recently, playing the same online game.

Also, if it's relevant, we have not had sex in months. She's not interested, I don't have a huge libido but I've told her it's important for my self esteem.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:45

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

maskenfreiheit posted:

Hi there, please help. My partner, recently told me that she's going on a short holiday to stay with a male friend in another country.

Somebody needs to be introduced to the story of Pete.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:46

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 12 days!

Haifisch posted:

I [mid20s/F] am falling for a guy [late30's/M] who I feel like has some red flags. Need advice on whether I'm just being judgmental or that I need to back off away from this one

A real five card stud if I ever heard one :allears:

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:48

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

maskenfreiheit posted:

Hi there, please help. My partner, recently told me that she's going on a short holiday to stay with a male friend in another country.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Somebody needs to be introduced to the story of Pete.

Also, if it's relevant, we have not had sex in months. She's not interested, I don't have a huge libido but I've told her it's important for my self esteem.

This guy is no Pete.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:55

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

ZearothK posted:

Also, if it's relevant, we have not had sex in months. She's not interested, I don't have a huge libido but I've told her it's important for my self esteem.

This guy is no Pete.

... which is why he needs to be introduced to it. :raise:

# ? Sep 4, 2017 00:04

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pick posted:

TBH men of that period seemed to have way more reasonable standards. gently caress.

If you ever look at the art of famously beautiful princesses, even discounting that they were painted to be flattering, sometimes you're like "oh they look like normal people".

Woooow, crazy!

Yeah well you try picking out the hottest of your cousins

# ? Sep 4, 2017 00:09

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

I [25M] had a blowout with my best friend [25M] last night after he confessed that he was in love with me. I'm straight except for stuff I've done with him and he's gay.

quote:

When we were 16 we got stoned and I let him give me a blowjob. The next day he came out to me and I told him that it didn't change things between us but despite the blowjob I wasn't into guys. A few weeks later we got stoned again and I let him blow me again. It became kind of a regular thing except when I've had girlfriends mostly.

Over the years I've dated a lot so has he. It's always seemed very casual to me. Mostly after a boozy night out. I never thought there was anything to it. Only one girl I've ever dated said that she thought he had s thing for me. Which I just thought of as her being jealous. She turned out to be a bit of a nut.

It was his birthday Friday night and a big group went out to celebrate. At the end of the night the two of us ended back at his place. We were talking about the night and what he wanted to do over the weekend for his birthday. He makes a joke about it being his birthday so he won't be blowing me. It's got a little weird because it's not something we talk about it's just something that happens. Now he wants to talk about it though. I told him that if he didn't want to do it anymore that I totally get it. I know it's always been completely one sided. He's blows that off and says it's something he likes doing and the turn on for him is that nobody knows and it's this intimate thing that exists between us. How it all happened isn't important I don't think but we ended up having full on sex that night. I will say that I did tell him it was a one time thing and joked that I hope he'll like it more than the wallet I gave him for his birthday. When we wake up I feel super awkward about it but he's in a good mood and isn't trying to talk about it. He just wants me to hurry up and shower so we can meet friends for breakfast. We spend most of the day together with friends and everything seems fine. I still felt weird but he was acting like nothing happened. No weird looks or affectionate behaviors. I go home by myself to get ready for a smaller group dinner and he texts me that he'll stop by my place and we can Uber to the restaurant from here.

When he turns up he looks gutted. His face is red and his eyes are puffy. Clearly he's been crying. I just grabbed him and hugged him and asked him what was wrong and he starts sobbing. It took him a few minutes to get himself together enough to speak. So he tells me that he's been in love with me since we were 14/15 and after last night he can't hide it anymore and he wants to be with me and starts crying again. I realize now I should have been a better friend and figured this all out years ago and stopped things but I'm an idiot apparently. I tried explaining to him that I loved him like he was my brother but I wasn't really into guys. He's the only guy I've ever done anything with and he knows that. He still crying a little bit he's getting angry. Basically he thinks I'm just stuck in the closet because being a mans man like my dad and brothers is too important to me. He details my checkered relationship history and the fact that I always bail when a girl seems like she's getting attached. Then he starts in on it's not like I've ever tried to stop him from touching me and I always respond to his touch. As gently as I could I told him that if I was into guys I would have been with other guys and for me the blowjob is just a blowjob. That to me it started when we were young and horny and it just became this thing that I normalized in my head because it felt good and there was never any drama attached to it. Now he really pissed and tells me I'm kidding myself and what the gently caress was last night about. I told him that I was sorry and that I didn't really know why I let things go that far. When things started happening the night before he came up and tried to kiss me which at first I resisted but when I did he looked hurt and I just ended up giving in and then the rest happened. gently caress I suck. I've been a terrible friend to him.

So he tries to kiss me and I stop him and tell him that it's not going to happen again and we have to figure out a way to get past this. Clearly he's not interested in my idea so he punches me in the stomach and walks out. I texted friends saying I wasn't feeling well and I was staying home.

I figure I'll let him cool off and try to talk to him today. A female friend of ours calls me last night and is pissed at me. He had her come over to his house and then he told her about what happened and everything else. The whole story. She tells me I'm an rear end in a top hat and what the gently caress did I think I was doing and how stupid of me to not realize he had feeling for me and what the gently caress did I think sleeping with him was anything but stupid and cruel.

I realize all of that's true and here I am. I don't care that he told someone. I don't really care if he wants to tell everyone. I see now how terrible I've been to him all these years and it makes my sick. I can't remember the last time I cried, maybe 8/9 years old. I cried last night and this morning. I don't know where to start trying to fix this. I called my sister a little while ago and told her all about what has happened. She was shocked by what had been going on all these years and after about 45 minutes of talking to her it's her opinion that this isn't something survivable. That I should write him a letter apologizing for everything and letting him know that if he doesn't want to see me or speak to me ever again that I would respect but that if he could ever forgive me I'd be here waiting.

At this point I don't accept that. I need to fix this. He's a huge part of my life. He's the best person I know and he's tied to almost all of my memories. We've been best friends since 1st grade. We went to school together we went to the same college we moved to the same city after college together.

If anyone has any ideas about a way to repair this I'd be grateful. I don't want to lose him.

TL;DR; : How do I fix this and save my friendship?

i'm totally not gay and had no idea my best friend was into me over ten years despite numerous blowjobs and full-on-loving

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:13

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I [14M] am now living with my aunt [38F] and I've apparently ruined [17M] chances of getting a car because I walked to school last week.

quote:

The past 6 months or so have not been easy for my sisters and I. Thankfully they're older than me so they don't have to deal with worrying about where they're going to go. I am the youngest in my family and no body listening to you is difficult. Everyone was talking over me and I felt like my voice was barely heard throughout this whole thing. I was displaced due to a situation surrounding my parents My sisters are all 1-2 years out of college and not fit to support a teenager. My Aunt is Lawyer, and everyone decided it would be best if I lived with her.

I packed up my things and I moved to Massachusetts. Thankfully my sister Jane is moving here as well because her husbands family is here. My other two sisters are still in Philly. I call or Skype them whenever I can. I have one cousin by the name of Hank. Hank does not seem happy to have me here. He barely talks to me. When I first got here my aunt asked him to help me carry my stuff up the stairs. I stood there waiting for him and did this ugh noise. So that kinda gave me the feeling he doesn't want me here. Last week my first week at my new high school and I walked there. To and from it took me about 30 minutes. All I did was look on google maps for a route and I took it. School goes from 9am-3pm for me, and I like walking. I'm an active person and it's where I think best.

I by no means had any idea that the distance to school was such a big discussion in this house. There has been arguments between my Aunt and Hank over a car for sometime. Hank apparently gets rides to school from home with one of his friends. I should add I was informed my Aunt told him to offer me to get a ride with him but he never did. He had wanted a car because for him it's too far to walk, and he thought he needed one for school. When my Aunt asked me how was the walk to school I said it was not that bad. Hank then went off on me saying it's only because I have good cardio. I do have good cardio, but that's because I was on the middle school track and swim team for so long. I go for runs every evening before sunset. I work out in the home gym my Aunt's husband set up in the basement.

The thing is that now that I'm walking my Aunt and her husband think Hank can walk as well. He has been a jerk to me all day to today. These snide remarks, looks, slamming the door around the house. It's just been really uncomfortable this entire time.

tl;dr: I have been with my aunt about 8 days now, and her son Hank does not like me at all. I apparently ruined his chances of getting a car because I walk to our high school which is 30 minutes away on foot. Need some guidance on what to do because this is all very uncomfortable.

LOL at needing "good cardio" to walk 30 minutes each way to school.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:33

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

I am starting to believe all those blowjob stories were written one-handed.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I [14M] am now living with my aunt [38F] and I've apparently ruined [17M] chances of getting a car because I walked to school last week.

LOL at needing "good cardio" to walk 30 minutes each way to school.

The good side is that if the goon ever gets really mad at the 14 years old kid he's going to have his rear end handed to him. A half hour walk is like two kilometers for an average person walking at average speed, my 75 years old grandma does them, and is perfectly comfortable unless you got a lot of sun, rain or snow dropping on your head.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:46

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

ZearothK posted:

I am starting to believe all those blowjob stories were written one-handed.

The good side is that if the goon ever gets really mad at the 14 years old kid he's going to have his rear end handed to him. A half hour walk is like two kilometers for an average person walking at average speed, my 75 years old grandma does them, and is perfectly comfortable unless you got a lot of sun, rain or snow dropping on your head.

I mean, on the one hand it is Massachusetts, so maybe it's not as comfy in winter. On the other hand, there's snow shoes and jackets, and the 17-year-old is getting rides anyway.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:49

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

corn on the cop posted:

I [25M] had a blowout with my best friend [25M] last night after he confessed that he was in love with me. I'm straight except for stuff I've done with him and he's gay.

i'm totally not gay and had no idea my best friend was into me over ten years despite numerous blowjobs and full-on-loving

i mean he was pretty clear it's just a brojob, and his friend physically assaulted him when he declined more sex after he realized his bro wasn't respecting the "friends with benefits" nature of the relationship...

sounds like his "friend" is unstable and abusive

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:55

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Dating as a escort... torn between money and him F(20) M(27)

quote:

Just recently started seeing this guy (we'll call him A) late May this year. We clicked and things are getting exclusive/semi serious. Right off the bat, even before we met up I was very up front with him about my job. He didn't seem to care but as things progressed, he seemed to develop an issue with it. So naturally, I quit the agency and stuck to this one guy who I met through escorting. We'll call him SD. A night with SD consists of going out, clubbing, drinking, and going back to his place and staying overnight. Sex is normally required. For all that I would get a little over a grand. I've known SD for a little over 6 months now. He's promised me a few things like leasing me a car, renting me an apartment downtown, paying my tuition, taking me to Vegas for my birthday etc...things that I really really want and would be impossible to get working a reg job. SD has suspected me of seeing somebody else and has also developed an issue with it. He is constantly jealous, making a huge fuss over late replies on text, always arguing when we're together, asking to see my phone, go through my texts. It's gone to the point where I absolutely despise him. I'm just continuing our 'relationship' for the benefits.

Now back to A. At first A was fine with me narrowing it down to one client. But now it's an issue to the point where I don't even want to tell him I'm hanging out with SD because I'm scared he'll leave me or cheat on me. He knows I'm only hanging out with SD purely for money but I think it's the sex part he has a hard time with. And I can understand that.

A few months ago, I was making bank, going on shopping sprees... now, I'm $300 in overdraft and can hardly afford school supplies... I've given up the escorting life to be with A but I can't seem to give up my last source of easy income (SD).

Tldr; getting serious with a guy, quit escorting but kept one client. Torn between money and respect for this guy...

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:56

Chicken Doodle: May 16, 2007

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Mario Kart & chill.

Literally how I started my latest relationship. :v:

Go for it, kid. Nothing gets chicks hotter than Rainbow Road.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 01:59

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I (21F) Am Upset At My Fiance (43M) For What He did While My Friend (22F) was in the Room ?

quote:

She's a friend of mine too who's got a mental age of a child (autistic). Well they share an area sort of like a living room. One on one couch one on another. He said he muted the volume and didn't jack off in the room cause it was crossing a line.... Should I be upset he watched porn in the same room as her although she was asleep? He said he stayed on his couch which I believe and kept the phone facing him. Said he won't do it again

Opinions ? He shares this house with 5 other people. Only 2 have their own Private rooms. One has a semi private room and everyone else shares a room or living area room (like he and her.) so there's no much space to be alone or have private time. TL:DR; fiance told me he was watching pornography while friend was in room asleep. Got upset and was wondering if my feelings are wrong.

Edit:

LOL, this is just the tip of the shitberg:

quote:

Yes, this would bother me and I would say something.

What's more concerning though is you're engaged to a guy double your age who, according to your post history, has been in jail. You get "in trouble" with him for certain behaviors. I'm 28 and I have no desire to date someone who's 21, let alone marry. You are in two completely different places in life, i would hope, and there is usually an unhealthy power dynamic in relationships with these age differences. It certainly seems like there's a very unhealthy dynamic here.

I would be leaving, but not just for the reasons listed in your post.

OP posted:

Ok, I am asking for an opinion on THIS situation. I DO NOT care that anyone doesn't like that he was in jail. You don't know that situation, unlike me. So DO NOT add other things into this ONE question, that aren't related to what is being asked.

quote:

You cannot come to a sub for advice and dictate the advice you are given.

OP posted:

Yes, I can cause it's my post. If you do not know a situation, such as him going to jail, and why he did; you have no room to say anything about it. There ARE people who've gone to jail over stupid poo poo they did not even do.

quote:

You don't own anything here, this is a public forum.
And you can't cuss people out and expect to be treated well.

OP posted:

and i can get irritated because people are half rear end reading and including irrelevant comments into a topic where they are not relevant. and it's my post. i own this post. i have the power to edit and delet this post. correct? thought so.

Said cussing being:

quote:

He is dating a girl half his age, so that was already a red flag that he's a creep. Watching porn in public confirms it.

OP posted:

jesus titty loving Christ. first off, we are LEGAL. ADULTS. I AM NOT ASKING WHAT YOU THINK OF OUR AGE DIFFERENCE. BECAUSE WE ARE LEGAL ADULTS. GOT THAT? second, it is a SHARED ROOM, a ROOM, not the mall, not a school, not a park, a ROOM. there is huge difference.

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Sep 4, 2017

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:00

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

corn on the cop posted:

I [25M] had a blowout with my best friend [25M] last night after he confessed that he was in love with me. I'm straight except for stuff I've done with him and he's gay.

i'm totally not gay and had no idea my best friend was into me over ten years despite numerous blowjobs and full-on-loving

Blowout, heh.

Anyway buddy I'm not sure why you've been letting your best friend suck your dick for 10 years and then getting awkward when he talks about it unless there are some weird suppressed emotions you've got kicking around.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

How to deal with a GF who dislikes sports?
submitted 5 years ago * by sportsthrow

I am 27, she is 29. We have been dating for 2+ years now. Everything has gone (mostly) excellent so far - we're talking about marriage, planning our future, sex is great, etc. - but something that has always been a source of strain in our relationship is sports.

I am a pretty big sports fan. When I was single I watched multiple college football games every Saturday (plus random CFB games on other days), multiple NFL games on Sunday, the Thursday & Monday night NFL games, pretty much every single MLB game for the team I rooted for, and a large # of other MLB games. A large percentage of my friends are/were the same.

When getting into this relationship, I realized that this probably wasn't going to continue and I have cut down my viewing to only watching the CFB team I root for, the NFL team I root for, and 2-3 games/week of the MLB team I root for. The problem is that my GF still thinks that this is still an absolutely ludicrous amount of sports to watch and she HATES that during football season I don't want to do anything between noon and 3pm on Saturdays and Sundays except watch my teams. I, on the other hand, feel like I have already made a huge sacrifice for her by giving up watching all those others games and get really frustrated that she keeps wanting to cut out more and more.

I think that a large part of the tension stems form the fact that she is from an area of the country where sports (especially college sports) aren't that big of a deal and she never grew up watching them, so she thinks that I am a sports psycho because I want to watch my CFB and NFL team each week (baseball is less of a problem because she finds it less boring to watch, but it would still be a huge problem if I tried to watch every single game). I have tried to explain that it is actually fairly normal for people to watch their CFB and NFL teams each weekend, but she doesn't buy it.

But the latest issue involved baseball. A few weeks ago I chose to stay at home and watch a baseball game where my favorite pitcher for my favorite team was in the process of throwing a no-hitter instead of going to an impromptu dinner with her and her friend. I tried to explain the historical significance of the event, how cool it would be to me to see the whole thing, how I wasn't even hungry because we had been to a happy hour just previously where we had eaten at, etc. None of this appeased her. She said it was "crazy" to choose to watch a game on TV instead of going to dinner with a friend and said (paraphrasing) "how am I supposed to explain to her that you're not here because you're watching a stupid baseball game?"

I don't yell and scream at the TV. I don't own even a single jersey. I don't have posters or anything on the walls from the teams I like. I don't own a single piece of merchandise except one t-shirt. I just like to watch the games because I genuinely enjoy them. She has said that choosing to watch a game instead of doing something with her makes her feel like the game is more important to me than her... but the way I see it, sports is something that is very important to me, and although it will never be more important to me than she is, I feel that she should not try and force me to give up a hobby that I really enjoy. I haven't made her give up any of her hobbies.

I tried in the past giving her the team schedule ahead of time so she is aware in advance of when games are so we can plan activities/other stuff around them, instead of her not knowing until the day of that I don't want do something today at 3 because my team is playing then. That helped a little bit, but didn't really come close to solving the issue.

Sorry for the long post - I didn't want to leave any details out. Can I get some help /r/relationships? Do any couples have some tips and tricks for dealing with this issue? Has anyone experienced this before and have some insight? Thanks folks.

tl;dr GF doesn't like how much time I like watching sports. I think it is reasonable.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:26

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Should I[22F] take over credit payments for a gift given to me by my ex[23M] while we were still together?
4 points 6 comments submitted 4 years ago by TheBarBarBinks to r/relationships

I was with Josh (my now ex) for 3 years and 3 months.

For Valentine's about a year before we broke up, he bought me a Canon T3i camera (plus accessories and an extra lens) using payment credit at a local electronics store. He knew I wanted one, and surprised me with it over dinner that night. During our relationship, he made the payments on it from our joint account on his own and went to the store physically to make them. (About $70 per month, and I think a 24 month contract.)

We broke up in December and it was pretty ugly. Long story short, I ended up pregnant with his child while he committed felonies that got us evicted from our house, disappeared for days on end, and cheated on me for months (before and during my pregnancy) with a younger female that he is now in a relationship with. He has used his same credit now to buy her diamond necklaces and other gifts which he also makes monthly payments on.
My dilemma is he now wants me to take over payments on the camera (claims he can't afford them) that he bought for me and I suppose I am at a moral crossroads with this. I know I can't exactly trust my own feelings because due to him being mentally abusive during the relationship, I am still somewhat submissive to him and I know that.

On one hand I feel bad because I have possession of and frequently use an item he is still making payments on, and this makes me feel somewhat guilty.

On the other, he gave it to me as a gift while we were still together, and if he did not want to make the commitment to the payments whether or not we stayed together, he should not have signed the contract. I also know that if he were to end his current relationship, he would not ask this girl to take over payments on the diamonds he has bought her (he has said as much to me)... so why is he asking me to take over payments on the camera?

(This may be irrelevant, but...) How does he expect to afford child support once our son is here if he claims he can not afford the camera payments? He has also contributed a total of $30 as far as buying baby merchandise...
whereas I have spent several hundred and I am 30 weeks pregnant now. He claims he can not afford these things, yet he is making payments on things for this new girl and buying a new car (he has a working truck and two working motorcycles) while contributing nothing towards his child...

But despite all of this, I still feel a pang of guilt for feeling like I shouldn't take over the payments.

So, what do you think, Reddit?

TL;DR: My ex-boyfriend of 3 years wants me to take over payments of a camera he bought me while we were still together following a nasty break up. Wat do?

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:29

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Pick posted:

A few weeks ago I chose to stay at home and watch a baseball game where my favorite pitcher for my favorite team was in the process of throwing a no-hitter instead of going to an impromptu dinner with her and her friend.

i wonder which game/pitcher this was

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Pick posted:

I'm Going To Take Over Credit Payments for Josh!

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:35

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Pick posted:

(baseball is less of a problem because she finds it less boring to watch, but it would still be a huge problem if I tried to watch every single game).

This is the biggest red flag she could have waved what the gently caress are you doing? :sever:

.

Also yes you watch too much loving TV. The fact that football comes on in the middle of the day on the weekends means those weekends necessarily suck because you won't be able to go do anything without whining about it.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:37

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Admiral Ray posted:

Blowout, heh.

Anyway buddy I'm not sure why you've been letting your best friend suck your dick for 10 years and then getting awkward when he talks about it unless there are some weird suppressed emotions you've got kicking around.

if a man had a FWB relationship with a woman for 10 years then assaulted her when he tried to make it more and she turned him down, would we be lolling? 🤔

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

My boyfriend[25M] insulted me[25F] horribly during a fight, I don't know what to do nextDating
667 points 281 comments submitted 1 year ago by heartbrokenthrway to r/relationships

James and I met in college sophomore year and became fast friends, but only started dating exclusively after we graduated, four years ago. Until now, James has been the light of my life- he's so energetic and sincere, and always tries to make me laugh and takes such good care of me. I'm very introverted and lost all of my friends shortly after undergrad graduation as they moved away, so James made sure to help me step out of my shell and become more forthright- it didn't really work, but I appreciated the thought, and I made a few friends. We never really seriously fought about anything; we've had little spats a few times, but those we over within minutes. When we first started dating, he introduced me to his family as soon as I was comfortable with it, and they accepted me and then some. His mother is always giving me sweaters, or cooking meals for us, or doing something else ridiculously nice. We moved in together a year and a half ago, after he completed law school and I was done with my Master's. We're both gainfully employed and make good money(he is a lawyer, I am a chemist), so we don't have any financial issues. We have been discussing getting married soon and having children within the next 5-7 years, something we were both very excited about. I thought everything was perfect.

This past Friday, James seemed tense. We usually go out on Fridays, so I asked him what was wrong and if he wanted to stay in tonight. He made a 'hmm' noise that I interpreted as affirmative. I wanted to give him space, so I went into our room to draw in my sketchbook and listen to music. After about two hours, I went back to check on him and see if he needed anything, and to find out what was bugging him. He looked visibly more agitated than before, and had a beer in hand and a few empty bottles to his side.

When I went to ask him what was wrong he looked at me for a second, then launched into a tirade. He said that he was tired of seeing how pathetic I was, how it was a Friday night and I was in my pj's wasting time like a child, how I was too incompetent and weird to make even a single friend without help. He said he felt like he was wasting his life spending it with me, how he wanted more excitement and fun and deserved more out of life. He said that dating me was a mistake, but he knew that I was 'safe' since no one else would want such a weird girl(he is my first boyfriend), and how I am a "pity gently caress [he] got attached to". I was completely devastated, I couldn't even defend myself, or say anything at all. After he was done he looked away from me, obviously not going to apologize. I gathered my essentials and left our apartment as quickly as possible, and went to a hotel near my workplace. I'd never felt so awful in my entire life. That day I could do was cry, try to calm down, fail, cry some more, and sleep.

The next day I woke up just past noon to see that I had over 20 missed calls and dozens of texts from James. He said that on Friday, one of the HR guys let it slip that he would be let go soon, which is why he was so on edge in the first place. Law work is hard to find where we are, so he was lucky to get the job in the first place, especially right out of school. He was drowning his sorrows in beer and making himself more and more angry and scared, and he finally couldn't handle it by the time I came by to see him. He said that he didn't mean a word of it, that I'm not weird or incompetent or anything like that, that he didn't even really know what he was saying. How he got blind drunk after I left and woke up in a panic after realizing what he had done. He apologized over and over again in his texts, and while reading them he called my phone again.

I picked up and he apologized to me more, saying how he loves me so much and is disgusted with himself for saying what he said. He sounded genuine and I could hear the tears in his voice, but I didn't want to see him yet. He said he'd stay with his parents so I could come back to the apartment. I'm back home and I have time to think about everything, but I don't know what to do, not at all. I love James more than anything, but what he said was so vicious and touched upon all of insecurities. I do think he's genuinely remorseful, but I'm unsure if I should give him a second chance. I want to, but that is my heart talking, not my head. I need to be logical about this.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:46

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

maskenfreiheit posted:

if a man had a FWB relationship with a woman for 10 years then assaulted her when he tried to make it more and she turned him down, would we be lolling? 🤔

I dunno which part you're talkin' about here 'cause I didn't see him say anything about being sexually assaulted in this story.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Me [26F] and my husband of 4 years [34M] disappointed in him after having a baby. I can't take care of both of them.Relationships
428 points 108 comments submitted 1 year ago by Balings to r/relationships

I will try to make this as simple as possible. But there is a lot of stuff.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years this month. It has been great. Now we also have a 5 month old baby. Who ofc is the most adorable baby ever.

But, I feel disappointed in my husband. He had no clue what it would be like to have a baby. Sure you can't really know what it will be like, but most people know, that babies cry.

Sometimes he will ask me "when will this baby be normal", which infuriates me, because he is normal. It's normal for them to cry, and resist sleep, or wake up in the middle of the night.

While I was pregnant I would tell him to do some reading, so he could be a little bit prepared. I even sent him links so he didn't have to do the search himself. But it's like whatever he reads or whatever I tell him goes in one ear and out the other. I am getting sick of it.

He loves our son more than anything, so there is nothing there. He is so good at playing with him, for like 10 minutes. Then he gets bored or doesn't know what to with him. He either just lets him watch tv, while he sit with his phone or on the computer. I take care of the baby all day. He only has to take him while I make dinner. I get mad when he does it, but I am so tired of repeating myself. I mean is it that hard to play with him?

He can be pretty negative sometimes. He is already depressed and wondering how he will handle it when I go back to work. I have a year of maternity leave. So that's still 7 months from now. I try to explain to him that there is a huge difference between a 5 month old and a 1 year old. And at that age he will be in daycare. He is the one who will be picking him up and making him dinner, since I have a long drive to and from work. But he insist on taking the sorrows in advance.

Besides all the baby stuff, my husband is overweight and a smoker. From the beginning of our relationship he said he would quit smoking. But he keeps failing. He wants to lose weight, but has no clue how to eat healthy. If it was up to him he would live off white bread, butter and eggs.

A couple of weeks ago we had a bit of a scare. He collapsed after waking up in the morning. I had to call for an ambulance with a crying baby on my arm, which was horrible. They tested his heart and his brain, nothing wrong with him, he most likely just stood up too fast after only getting few hours of sleep.

But after that he swore that he would change and take better care of himself. After all he has a son now who needs him to stick around for a long time. Plus I need him too.

I have tried to help him eat healthy in the past, since he has no idea what to eat. When I recommend something he looks at me like I'm a freak and with a comment "who eats that?" Or "I'm not a rabbit". When I serve him vegetables with dinner he barely eats it. Doesn't matter what kind. He says he treats it like medicine.

I dont have the time or the energy to take care of him. I have the baby all day, plus I'm the only one that cooks and cleans. I have told him to figure out himself what to eat. I mean there is Google and Reddit. What more do you need.
On top of all this I think he is stressed. He works from home on the computer. His job requires he takes a lot of breaks since it's a lot of clicking. But even if he has 4 hours of work it takes him all day. He is barely finished when i go to bed. Then he stays up all night to finish and as he says " I have poo poo to do". He always has stuff to do. When he is finally done he needs a break, so he plays Fifa. Then he ends up going to bed around 5 in the morning. Which results in him sleeping all day. And he can't break the cycle.

I don't know how to help him anymore. I feel like he just needs to step up and make some changes. I know it's hard, but people do it all the time. Some of it I don't want to say to him because I don't want to hurt his feelings. He is under enough pressure. He doesn't need a nagging wife on top of it. But I also fear that he will never change. We have been in a relationship for 6 years. And nothing has changed yet.

Do you guys have any suggestions?

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:48

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:48

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Pick posted:

My boyfriend[25M] insulted me[25F] horribly during a fight, I don't know what to do nextDating

Stop talking to this piece of poo poo. Leave him. If this is all it takes for his suppressed thoughts about you to come out then when he's actually stressed out who the gently caress knows what will happen?

quote:

He said that he didn't mean a word of it, that I'm not weird or incompetent or anything like that, that he didn't even really know what he was saying.

What a pathetic joke, he can't even own up to this. :sever:

and never look back.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 02:51

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