Haifisch posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

Cut to the chase and dad.

quote:

He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this

Haifisch posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

Cut to the chase and dad.

COMRADES posted:

like this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...f-a7525811.html

And barring that I'm sure the university has financial assistance options available.

e: lol

quote:

I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday and my mom was the one to wait for me and take me home. She dropped me off at the house and then went to grab my prescription and some food I can eat. Later on that night I spilled some pills on the counter and realized it looked like there was less than 30 in the bottle. I counted them out to 18 and added the 2 I already had that day. That means 10 were missing.

I went to talk to my mom but she was in the shower so I found my dad in the kitchen and asked if he knew anything about the 10 missing pills. He had no idea so I just went to my room. Later on he comes to me with 6 missing pills and says my mom was going to buy them from me like we talked about weeks ago and she doesn't like how I was taking behind her back. The thing about that is I assumed she was joking about buying my pain killers from me.

Now she's ignoring me because I went to my dad before her and I have no idea what to do. Should I apologize ?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

for the same reason dudes do: wanting to bang a lot of strange and not be responsible to anybody, and still have a fallback partner waiting in cold storage to take care of you when that doesn't work out

(most) relationships aren't just sex contracts

idiot in the comments on that reddit post posted:

Thank you for your opinion. That is exactly what the reality is and maybe that is something I have not been able to make clear in all of this. She was not having sex or engaging with me in any way sexually while pursuing her newfound freedom, she absolutely 100% put all of her energy and focus into it and did not balance it with me whatsoever.

quote:

My mom babies Aaron and they have always been close and always snuggling and cuddling, just weird for his age. He will play with and smell her hair between his fingers. But like I said, there is something off with my brother. There's something off with my mom as well- she's like my brother. Something ever so slightly off.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (28F) brother (25M) freaked out on my mom (58F) because she had sex with someone else before my dad - over 35 years ago.

There's always been something wrong with Aaron, my brother. He has always had difficulty making and maintaining friends. He's had one girlfriend who I set him up with. He's always been "off," I knew it as a kid too. He's never been diagnosed with anything, but I suspect maybe he is borderline aspergers? He's very awkward, like a social defect. You'd pick up on it after talking to him for a while; at first you wouldn't even notice. He is fully functioning and has a full time job, and lives home with my parents. On his very first day of REAL work at a REAL full time government job, he told his coworkers he enjoyed yugioh cards- just awkward and OFF. He's supposedly saving up for a house and will move out once he has enough for a down payment. He's fat and lazy too, sitting in his room on YouTube a day.
Aaron comes over on Friday nights to hang out with my husband and I. We have fun, watch horror movies, go out to eat, etc.

Last Friday night, Aaron and I started joking about what a joke sex education is here in the USA. We started joking about how our parents taught us abstinence and how dumb that concept is. I told him about this dorky sex education book my mom gave me when I was a kid to make sure I knew the proper names of male/female anatomy. I made a joke about how mom banged other guys before marriage (probably) but I was to remain abstinent. It was all light and humorous.

Apparently the next (Saturday)morning, Aaron barged into my mom's bedroom while she was asleep, angrily telling her "you weren't a virgin when you met Dad!!! U/wherethelootat told me!!!" My mom angrily texted me asking what was going on. He woke her up, upset and angry, because she probably had intimate relationships before my dad. Wtf? She coddled and comforted Aaron afterwards. She was afraid we'd stop inviting Aaron over and be mad at him since he has no other friends.
I haven't spoken to my brother since my barrage of angry texts and phone calls to his voicemail demanding to know what the gently caress is going on. My mom babies Aaron and they have always been close and always snuggling and cuddling, just weird for his age. He will play with and smell her hair between his fingers. But like I said, there is something off with my brother. There's something off with my mom as well- she's like my brother. Something ever so slightly off. I'm not suggesting anything weird like incest. They just seem like they have some sort of social defect.

I've decided not to see or talk to my brother again until he explains himself. I am so embarrassed."

TLDR: my brother is weirdly angry that my mom wasn't chaste before she met my mom. Should I not talk to him anymore? Is there an explanation why someone would be like this?? I feel sicked out by the whole thing. We are not religious, just basic white people living an average life.

OP posted:

No apologies. I had called him multiples times Saturday, multiple voicemails, texts, mostly cursing him out honestly.

It is weird and awkward as gently caress now with my mom. My mom thinks I was telling Aaron about all her previous stories she had told me/ life lessons/ etc...which I hadn't.

Also, she told me that she had told Aaron she hadn't been with anyone else before Dad. So she lied to Aaron.

But how the gently caress is her sex life over 35 YEARS ago such a big deal to Aaron??? Like who the gently caress cares. Aaron is not a religious person at ALL or anything. He used to buy prostitutes because really girls don't like him. This is soooo awkward you have no idea.

OP posted:

I am [not inviting him over anymore]. Then when he is over, she will blow ALL our phones up to make sure Aaron is ok. She has a curfew for him as well. She says she won't sleep until he is home 🤢

OP posted:

My mom is the type who thinks because she raised me, I owe her everything. She offers to drive my kid to school in the morning, but then comes back and uses it as a weapon against me saying she does so much for me and she tired and busy and overworked. She hasn't worked in at LEAST 10 years. She was fired from her last job for basically having a bad personality

Haifisch posted:

But wait, there's more!

Outrail posted:

Laugh at them. Litterally just sit there laughing and pointing your finger and laugh and laugh at the loving morons and go home or hang up.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

she made maybe a sixth what paying her own tuition will actually cost her and a third as much as this dude

promoting something called the "MANBOY MAFIA"

Proteus Jones posted:

Should have replied "Let me know when, I'll help you load the gun"

COMRADES posted:

like this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...f-a7525811.html

And barring that I'm sure the university has financial assistance options available.

e: lol

Smirking_Serpent posted:

taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie:


Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding:

My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law).

The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter.

I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter.

Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?

quote:

Q: Ghostly mother-in-law: My in-laws are unbelievably superstitious. My mother-in-law believes she’s psychic, my father-in-law believes her, and my husband—otherwise rational—turns we can’t know for sure! credulous around her. I find the stream of insights and ghost sightings grating, but they can believe what they want—until it reaches the end of my nose.

My husband and I are looking to buy a house, and his mother is constantly bothering me with her visions of “dark auras” and “bad vibes” about the houses. She’s not even with us. Apparently she can tell a duplex has more ghosts than Disney’s Haunted House from two states away.

I’d just tune her out, but my husband says we should listen to keep the peace. Apparently she won’t ever visit if the house is “haunted.” My husband caving to her is the worst part of it. Is this going to be how it is going forward? It’s a house! A mortgage! The only thing to tie us together more would be a child. So I’m wondering if maybe we need to rethink more than just the “haunted house.” Or am I being unreasonable?

Haifisch posted:

That article took the triple crown, now that I look:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie:


Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding:

Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?

ArbitraryC posted:

Another funny one from that article:

Q. Actual benefits: I am in medical school, which means I basically live and sleep in scrubs. I have no time for a real relationship nor any desire for one. I would actually like decent sex with someone I could trust, but I keep getting sucked into the Girlfriend Zone despite repeatedly saying I only want be friends with benefits. My last three ended with the guys getting upset for not doing the emotional stuff we agreed was not on the table (meeting the parents, getting upset for forgetting a birthday, and not reminding him to pick up his dry cleaning). I don’t want to look for random hook-ups or have an affair with assholes who are married, I just want an honest sex buddy. How the hell do I find one?

SirSamVimes posted:

Not reddit, but surely the saga of Denko (´･ω･`) counts for this thread. It just gets worse and worse the more you read.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie:


Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding
[...]My daughter is no longer speaking to me[...]

Smirking_Serpent posted:

taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie:


Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding:
. My daughter is no longer speaking to me

quote:

A: I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around this letter. I encourage you to reread it and to ask yourself that time-honored question, “Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie?” You are, presumably, sympathetic to your own situation and are invested in making sure that you come across as reasonable and as caring as possible, and yet you have written a letter indicting yourself at every turn. This girl is “like a daughter” to you, and yet you want to shove her to the side of your other daughter’s wedding just because she walks with a limp. Your daughter’s wedding will be perfect with Katie as a full and honored member of the bridal party. A limp is not a fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life. It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this—it is ableist, and cruel, and it speaks to a massive failure of empathy, compassion, and grace on your part. You must and should apologize to your daughter immediately, and I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart.

maskenfreiheit posted:

quote:

I'll start by saying I love my wife, always have and always will. She has a lot of great qualities, and despite all this I still think she's worth it. You might not get that impression by reading this post, because I'm about to say a lot of negative things.

So for the longest time I've known my wife to be clumsy and extremely sensitive to pain. This has caused her to have a lot of unfortunate reactions to things and make some bad decisions. Sometimes it's not so bad. Like oil jumping out of the pan while cooking, causing her a minor burn and resulting in the pan on the floor. It's just a ruined dinner, we can get takeout.

Sometimes it results in a hospital visit. Like the time she asked me to hold the collander for her after she made pasta (she doesn't like it to touch the bottom of the sink) and some steam made her uncomfortable I guess, so she accidentally poured the pot of boiling water on my hand.

One time she was driving and noticed a spider doing it's thing on the rearview mirror, so naturally she crashed the car. She was alright and the car didn't take too much damage, but it was an expensive mistake. Thank God she didn't hit anybody, I can't tell you how afraid I am of her driving.

These are just some recent/big examples but you get the idea. She has an incident about once a week, it's kind of exhausting and I can't help but build some resentment. When she does these things, I try my best to bury my frustrations and be there for her. I try to not blame her and realize it's more the situation that I'm upset about. Even when she tried to loving melt my hand off, it felt like I was comforting her because she was so upset about what she had done.

She's always remorseful about it and if she senses at all that I'm annoyed, it hurts her confidence and makes her more accident prone for the next week or so. I've been riding this weird line between being productive (by not blaming her, sometimes she can't help it) and enabling her (by cleaning up after her) because if she's made to feel consequences from this, she gets much worse.

But I think that's all going to have to change because today she bumped her knee on a wall and loving DROPPED OUR CHILD. I was always worried she would be a hazard to her, but naively thought some parental instincts would kick in and this would be the exception.

So what can I do, productively? She's been to therapy but it's not helped much because I don't think she's really participating fully. She went into it with a defeatist attitude, like this is just who she is and can't change at all. Personally, I think realizing that all of her mistakes could have been prevented is way too painful for her.

This is getting overly long, so what can I do to actually fix this problem? I feel like if I don't she's going to kill our child, herself, me or possibly even you, dear reader, if you find her on the road one day with a critter of some sort in her car. Should I give her some ultimatums because it's getting really serious now? Should I just leave her in the woods for a week to toughen up? I really don't know what the right course of action is now.

tl;dr: Wife loses all control when she's in the littlest amount of pain. Because of this she's accidentally put me in the hospital, crashed her car, started a few fires, and just recently dropped our baby. I don't know how to help her, and I'm afraid one day she's going to kill someone. Please advise.

Haifisch posted:

I've [32m] been resenting my wife [28f] for being so weak/not in control of herself. Now she's accidentally harming our child [9mo] and I need to put my foot down.

My condolences for marrying an irl infomercial person, OP.

Haifisch posted:

I've [32m] been resenting my wife [28f] for being so weak/not in control of herself. Now she's accidentally harming our child [9mo] and I need to put my foot down.

quote:

she doesn't like it to touch the bottom of the sink

My condolences for marrying an irl infomercial person, OP.

quote:

I'm fairly certain that even if I fell down some stairs holding my infant, I would not drop her and be able to shield her with my body. I can't even imagine dropping her.

quote:

I HAVE fallen down the stairs holding my dog. and I took a loving break to the radius to not drop her. my dog.

quote:

i'm not a parent or a pet owner but i've done this with beers before. i can't imagine if i was holding a kid or a pet, haha

I Was The Fury posted:

why

This is the most upsetting thing about the post I'm legitimately confused

I Was The Fury posted:

why

This is the most upsetting thing about the post I'm legitimately confused

Haifisch posted:

*dumps boiling water on hands while holding collander above sink*

There has to be a better way!

ArbitraryC posted:

they probably have either a lovely colander, a lovely sink, or some combo of the two where she's concerned about backwash touching the pasta.

Like if their drain is too slow or their colander too low the excess liquid will pool and I certainly wouldn't want my pasta to be swimming in disposal backlash either.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie:


Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding:

My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law).

The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter.

I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter.

Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?