Absurd Alhazred posted:

If you say so.

Edit: Content!

My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] settled for me but he isn't happy with my race or the way I look

Admiral Ray posted:

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. I saw a post on here a couple days ago from a woman whose boyfriend broke up with her after he found out about the types of guys she dated in the past.

Well, I am in the same boat. My boyfriend and I are both Asian. My boyfriend and I haven't shared who we have dated to each other. He has talked lightly about his past, but I think there was maybe two other women in his whole life, and I don't know if he even kissed them or went on a real date.

Me, I have a lot more experience than my boyfriend. I don't want to go into detail about it. But, I am worried. All of the guys I dated were White guys.

I always found them really attractive, and I would get into relationships with these guys and things wouldn't work out. We would have different goals different values. A lot of the guys weren't keen on settling down a lot of them just liked to party. Some guys were terrible with money. At first, I tried to change them but I realized that wasn't going to work out

I kept on hoping that if I kept dating I would find a guy who had similar values and goals as me. But it wasn't working so I gave Asian guys a shot. At first I wasn't that attracted to my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a good looking guy, he isn't socially awkward or anything. He played volleyball in college, goes to the gym etc. Over time he really has grown on me, and I feel loved being with him.

My worry is that if one day he finds out about my past he might flip out and hate me. I don't want to have to react to something like this. I feel like if we are to one day be married and share our lives with each other he is going to want to know about my past. I want to talk to him about it. I want him to hear it from me not someone else. I feel really scared talking to him about this because I might lose him. How should I do talk to him? Or is it even a good idea?

Tl;Dr- My past might be a deal breaker for my boyfriend. I want to get out in front of this and I don't want him to hate me if he finds out from someone else. What should I do?

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Do I[30f] tell my boyfriend[32m] the truth about the men I dated in the past and my sexual history?


🤔

Barudak posted:

A very dumb womans petulant breakdown recounted by her slightly less stupid offspring who, while smarter, is still too hindered either by genetics or her dumb upbringing to tell a story in a coherent matter.

Multilake posted:

Wait wait wait. So her asian boyfriend is racist against us white breads?

YeahTubaMike posted:

i'm black, and i lost my virginity to a caucasian weeb who had never been attracted to any non-asian girls before

surprise surprise, it didn't work out

YeahTubaMike posted:

i'm black, and i lost my virginity to a caucasian weeb who had never been attracted to any non-asian girls before

surprise surprise, it didn't work out

Barudak posted:

huenschwe

chitoryu12 posted:

This is one of those where the OP really just needs to read everything back to themselves.

Am I the crazy one?

quote:

Oh I know that now... I didn't know how to leave without him doing something terrible but in the end he was going to do it no matter when or how it ended!

We went away for the weekend with his parents and fought the entire time. The Monday he ghosted me and I thought I was safe because he left me. No reason to retaliate right?

Well I started getting texts from a man that said he worked with me years before and wanted to "try out a younger woman". Shrugged it off that this guy is a moron and went on with my day. Then I start getting messages from a man that said he saw me on Tinder and wanted to say hi. Normal right? Didn't think anything of it.

The Thursday rolls around and my ex starts messaging me to accuse me of ghosting him and creating a tinder account before we broke up (I did not). He said that someone he works with saw me on there and messaged him while we were with his parents. I deny it and apologize for being such a bad girlfriend thinking that's what he needs to feel like he has the upper hand... Then he asks me if the man I was getting messages on Facebook messenger contacted me. I said yes and my ex let me know that he sent this man to me so I could sleep with him to get over my ex!

So I went back to the guy on Facebook and he had no idea that I was my ex's girlfriend and sent me the explicit photos that my ex had sent of me to him. I went back to my ex and let him know I am aware of the photos he sent. He said "Omg your unreal . This is nothing get over it your naked and can't see anyone's face.... no one knows who it is . That's is nothing" well it doesn't matter that you can't see my face if you send that person directly to my Facebook profile!

So I decided to ignore him... Well narcissists really really don't like that. He sent me 63 texts, called 11 times and created alternate accounts on social media to message me. He sent me photos of myself he had taken without my consent and a photo after he ejaculated on himself and told me "this should have been in you!" This was all between Friday-Sunday.

Sunday morning I got a text from an unknown number that said "Total cum slut I want more pics". And then a text from my ex telling me he was on his way to my house to "talk"... That is when I went to the police...

While I was giving my statement he threatened to put my pictures on Reddit. Called me twice and sent more pictures he took. I did not press charges but the police said they would call and warn him. It took them a few days to get him to talk to them but he cried like a baby after they told him that if he continues to contact me in any way or distribute my photos he will be charged with criminal harassment, the illegal distribution of intimate images, intimidation and voyeurism.

He told the police he was so persistent contacting me because he was worried I was going to harm myself because of how things ended. When he was explained the voyeurism charge he said that he had every right to take photos of me because we were dating. The police explained that you couldn't even take a photo of your wife nude without her consent!

I'm pretty sure now that the other 2 random numbers that text me were actually him using a private number app. I had no idea that something like that existed until now!! The man who he sent to me on Facebook does actually exist though...

My ex made it a week without contacting me but now every Monday he creates a new account and requests that I block him. This past Monday he sent "Hope your doing well pixel_pusher_83 Can you please block me. I am sorry if for any pain and embarrassment you have endured. I have thought a lot about how I acted and went about things. Total wrong and you did not deserve it. Wish you all the best I have some issues that need to be addressed." (No poo poo bud!)

I'm not going to go back to the police unless things escalate beyond that. As soon as he gets a new victim I'll be free and to be honest I feel like a total idiot!

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Uhhhh

quote:

As soon as he gets a new victim I'll be free and to be honest I feel like a total idiot!

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

reddit's take was that she was essentially fulfilling an apparent stereotype that Asian women don't want to date Asian men, and apparently neither do any other women, and calling her out on that, which tbf she kinda does seem to view dating Asian guys as a step down

Bertrand Hustle posted:

The stupid is coming from inside the thread!

Barudak posted:

In china its a pretty common belief hunxue are the most beautiful and if they know any english the word "hybrid" will get tossed around liberally. The word itself is literally used on the most popular dating program in the country, both to refer to those people and to the possibility of the offspring.

David Heinrich posted:

She shouldn't be with him if she pretty much just settled for the guy to 'give him a shot'. Also note that she feels loved being with him, dodging around saying she loves him; it's not gonna work out.

Barudak posted:

In china its a pretty common belief hunxue are the most beautiful and if they know any english the word "hybrid" will get tossed around liberally. The word itself is literally used on the most popular dating program in the country, both to refer to those people and to the possibility of the offspring.

Pick posted:

I'm blonde as hell, is that marketable

David Heinrich posted:

I think it's going a bit far to claim that her finding white men more attractive than Asians is racist. You can talk about internalization of bias all day, but if she just finds people of a certain race more attractive, that's her business.

Whorelord posted:

i found an asian version of r/incel on reddit and it's hilarious

apparently the asian, white cock devouring female is called a 'Lu'

Admiral Ray posted:

r/hapas?

Whorelord posted:

r/asianmasculinity

that there's two makes it even funnier

quote:

Hey R/relationships, I'm in a bind and want to turn to this page for advice.

So here's what happened. My gf pushed me to take her to Disneyland throughout all of the relationship, probably starting from the first date. I decided to buy the ticket after a bit of a fight (I'm definitely a workaholic) and took her in February.

We had a great time. I loved going with her but I told her it was a special thing and I don't always have time and money to do this.

Later that week she asked me to take her again immediately citing that her friends were all going. Me being my workaholic self, I admitted I did not want to go again this year and said I couldn't afford to go and also couldn't spare the time because I'm in the middle of making my own business. I told her she could go with them and it'd be okay. In fact she went with them in January and all I asked was for her to text me telling me how she liked it cause she never went before. It's come up again that her friends want to go and I always tell her she can go with them if she wants I just don't want to go again cause I took her and tbh I really just don't want to go. No matter what people say the lines are TERRIBLE in the summer.

We've been having fights over me not wanting to go for now two months off and on. One time it got really bad and she enlisted her friend to fight me because I kept saying no. I really don't want to go...

So another thing is that I'm jewish and next week is her birthday and passover. I told her in January or February that it was unlikely I was going to be able to hang out with her because of the holiday. She's not jewish, and tbh I'm not much a good jew either. It rarely comes up but my family is more traditional and they do expect me to keep holidays. Also, I want to keep them too. Also, I figured it'd be okay to celebrate her birthday late because she didn't come down for my birthday in January and only recently got me a gift this week. I'm not mad at all she got me what I wanted and I try not to get mad like that.

After planning some part of her gifts for her birthday, today she told me that she only wants Disneyland and will reject my other gifts that I want to get her because I won't be with her on her bday. She said that if I liked her I needed to take her again and that she would be okay if I said no she'd find someone else to take her. I tried saying that I'd take her elsewhere and do other cute things but it was to no avail. When I kept saying no she began whining and then she hung up on me immediately which made me super mad. Guys, is there a way I can fix this? I like her but I really just don't want to go to Disneyland. I also literally can't be there for her bday...

What can I do to fix this?

tl;dr I took gf to disneyland in February, making it clear that that was special and the only time we're going. She tells me that if I miss her birthday I have to take her again but I don't want to.

dudeness posted:

My [19 F] Gf will only accept Disneyland as a bday present when I [26 M] already took her and I don't want to go again