/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ouhei posted:

I think we generally don't link the reddit threads out of a hope to keep things from getting out of hand. I figured this case was worth looking up, didn't see anything in the OP about not doing it but if any mod wants it removed I can do so.

There's nothing wrong with tracking down the posts and linking them - we just generally don't do it because some of us (guilty) tend to dig deeper than we should.

When possible, avoid touching the poop.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:02

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:13

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Oh sure that this woman immediately tracked down Sheila after she got a glimpse of her kissing her husband in a dusted high-school photo album, after all it's only been 30 years. That woman was in fact waiting for that moment at the exact same high school and she even wore the cheerleader outfit and everything :rolleyes:

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:03

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

I Was The Fury posted:

High schoolers are incredibly stupid

She is 51, she has gone through menapause and multiple child births.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:06

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

I also love the idea that there's a super-high-def image in the yearbook where she can Zapruder-style see the bleacher fuckin' grassy knoll and know for certain that it's him.

My[22F] boyfriend[28M] has gone off his rocker about honey

quote:

We've together for about a year. Everything has been wonderful and I'm completely in love with him. We've had no real issues in our relationship until recently.
My boyfriend has started eating a lot of honey and at first, I didn't say anything because he's in great shape so he pretty much can eat whatever. I started getting annoyed when everything in our apartment began feeling sticky. Everything. I can't turn on a light switch without having to wash the stick off my hands. I'm a clean person and my boyfriend is super clean too so this is very strange behavior.
I talked to him about it and got upset but helped me clean some sticky surfaces. But things continued to get sticky. I told him he could only eat honey in the kitchen and he freaked out and said I was trying to control him and I don't want him to be happy
I didn't know how to respond. He's never said anything like that to me before and I want to emphasize again that we have a very healthy relationship. I don't know what to do.
Last night he apparently had a dream that I refused to let him ever eat honey again and (I think) he broke up with me over it. Over a dream. I'm in shock. I honestly can't even form complete thoughts
My friend thinks we should trick him into the car and take him to a psychiatry hospital but I don't know if that's ethical

quote:

Edit: STOP leaving comments about winny the pooh. I thought this subreddit was for advice? Disgraceful

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:10

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

That one's easy, leave a trail of honey leading from the house to the psychiatric hospital, nothing illegal about that. Next!

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:13

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

half coke half diet posted:

She is 51, she has gone through menapause and multiple child births.

And yet her mind never left high school

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:15

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

I [27/F] aborted 3rd pregnancy with husband [27/M] of 8yrs. I think I may be pregnant again after protected intercourse. Contemplating divorce.

quote:

Hello redditors, I feel like I'm in a desperate situation right now and have no clue what to do.

To start off, my husband and I have been married 8yrs and together for over 10yrs. Early on in our relationship we had the kid talk. I let him know that I wanted 2 or 3 and he said he wanted 2. We got married 3yrs later and proceeded to have 2 little boys. Our oldest (5.5/M) is amazingly bright and sweet. The youngest (3/M), not so much. BUT, they're my kids and I love them! About a year ago, my husband told me he hates our children and that his life has been ruined because he had them. I felt like a part of me died that day, and ever since I have felt really conflicted about our marriage. I don't really believe in having sex with people you don't want to make babies with b/c even though I may not intentionally try to bring children into the world I recognize that no birth control, including sterilization, is 100%. Now I find myself in a situation where I am married to a man that hates the kids he's made with me and doesn't want anymore.

Fast forward to this past August. I discovered I was pregnant with our third child. I take most of the responsibility for this because he wanted to use a condom and I didn't (I had been tracking my ovulation for the past 3yrs, so I thought it was safe, but I ovulated way late that cycle). I know it was stupid, but it happened. We talked about it and while my husband did say that he would stay with me and support me and our children regardless of what happened, he was adamant that he didn't want the baby. So, after failing to convince him that we'd be okay if we had a third baby I made an appointment to get an abortion. I was determined not to give birth to a baby knowing that its daddy already resented it, but I also didn't want to do that to my husband. Like I said, I'm the one who didn't want to use protection, and I didn't want to force him to have another child he didn't want. I was 6.5wks along.

The first week after the abortion things were fine, but into the second week I just couldn't stand the thought of being with him anymore. Thinking of having sex with him disgusted me and I just stopped talking to him. We both thought this was the end of our marriage, but after a couple days I broke down, and we managed to work things out. He made an appointment to get a vasectomy and the couple times we had sex we used protection with no accidents/mishaps.

Now I'm here anxiously awaiting my period, but I suspect I am pregnant again. We did not have unprotected sex, but I had some spotting and just barely there pink when wiping after going to the bathroom a few days ago, along with mild cramping. The exact same thing happened with my first two boys (implantation bleeding) which is what is making me suspect a fourth pregnancy, but I'm trying to hold onto hope b/c I've heard periods can be a bit wonky after an abortion.

I just don't know what to do right now. I have been thinking of divorce for a few years now (we have some other issues as well), but I love my husband and he loves me. And regardless of the fact that he doesn't like our kids, he isn't a terrible dad. But I feel like his dislike of the children is poisoning his parenting. He frequently loses his temper with our youngest, more difficult child, and I find myself feeling the same way as he does (tired of parenting). I know it's not his fault he feels the way he does, but I feel like if he was better, if he didn't lie to me about wanting kids, etc. we both could have just gone our separate ways and we'd both be happier (I could've found someone who actually wanted to build a family with me, and he could've lived child-free). My oldest son loves his daddy and often tells me so. I asked him how he'd feel if we didn't live with daddy anymore and he said, "but I'd still care about him," with the most serious/sad face. I don't want to destroy my family, but I feel so conflicted. I know marriages are hard and take a lot of work, but at what point do you decide everyone would be better with the divorce? I'm also terrified of the change in lifestyle that would come with the divorce. My husband and I are not wealthy. We are both college students (we both have education benefits from military service) working hard to finish our degree programs and won't be done for another 2yrs. Neither one of us can support 2 kids on our own. I am also concerned because I stupidly decided to go for an English degree thinking my husband and I were a sure thing while he (the smart one) is getting a mathematics/computer science degree.

Has anyone gone through anything remotely similar? Is my life over if I get divorced? Would there even be a chance of me finding a new partner at my age and with 2, possibly 3, kids from a prior marriage?!? What about my children? Would they be okay? Or is this something that seems like it can be worked through? In my short 27 years of life I've never felt this hopeless. Please help.

New account b/c my husband loves reddit.

tl;dr: Aborted my third pregnancy because I couldn't stand the thought of having another child with my husband because he hates our other two kids. I think I'm pregnant again after protected sex with him and won't have another abortion. Contemplating a divorce but scared out of my mind.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:22

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I [27/F] aborted 3rd pregnancy with husband [27/M] of 8yrs. I think I may be pregnant again after protected intercourse. Contemplating divorce.

If you dont want no more guy: "Don't be a fool, snip your tool"

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:24

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

My brother's (38 m) conspiracy theories are destroying life for him and his family

quote:

Hi r/Relationships,
My family is in a difficult situation. I (29 m) have a brother (38 m white) who seemed normal growing up but has essentially gone off his rocker. And I would say the central cause is a vast array of conspiracy theories he believes and acts upon. His paranoia has been apparent before but worsened to the point where he's now completely destroying his and his family's lives. I don't know what to do...

Here's the problem: He has become gravely ill because he won't ditch alternative medicine for a real doctor. He's been having some digestion problems over the last 6 months, and tries to solve it with extreme diet, alternative medicine (homeopathy, naturopaths, acupuncture etc.), which isn't working. He now looks like a prisoner of war. He has lost 30 lbs, bedridden, barely eats and drinks, can hardly walk, has trouble swallowing. He's a threat to himself. This is where the conspiracy comes in... he won't try conventional medicine, despite the desperate and emotional pleas from my family, because it is a scam and he already knows he has Mercury Poisoning, which should be treated by alternative medicine to expel the toxins in the body.

What's more, his conspiracies coupled with his grave medical condition have terribly affected his common-law wife, and 2 girls (13 and 9). They live in a small one room Yurt on his farm deep in the south. Of course his children aren't vaccinated (cause metal poisoning) and don't go to school (filled with gov't propaganda). His wife is brainwashed by his views and so overloaded tending the farm and kids, caretaking for my nearly-terminal brother, and accommodating all of his requests that she doesn't homeschool the kids, let alone provide a good emotional environment and attention on them. The kids are distraught seeing their father wither away in front of them.

All of this is based on my bro's distorted thinking, especially in health & wellness. He won't acknowledge his condition is severe and worsened. His mind is filled with conspiracies: processed food is toxic (can't eat vegetable oils), moon landing was faked, JFK & Bob Marley assassinated by the CIA, 9/11 was a false flag, etc. Some conspiracies are harmless, but he takes action on his notions. He recently has been eating raw eggs and raw Veal because these supposedly natural foods are better for his stomach. This thinking started at least 10 years ago when he moved his entire family from their home of 2 years because of a mosquito spraying program (think it was for West Nile) was going to be toxic to his family.

My family called mental and adult protection services today in hopes of forcing him to go to the ER, but they can't do anything because his mental / physical faculties--though clearly terrible--aren't bad enough to give the state a mandate to require him to get medical treatment. He's just not bad enough apparently.

We tried to reason, plead, beg, bargain with him to go to a clinic but to no avail, he is so stubborn and will not be convinced. I now accept his sad, crazy condition. My family wants him to get medical treatment, but I guess my thought is, even if he does get medical treatment, what hope is there for some semblance of a good lifestyle for him and his family??

I guess my question has two parts:

1) How do I adjust my view of my older brother? I used to look up to him, he was smart and capable. Now I see him as loony. His lifestyle has become so distasteful from his conspiracies. Yet when we're not talking about health / some batshit crazy theory he seems his old self.

2) What is the best situation for him and his family? Perhaps it'd be better for his wife & kids to leave him and for him to go to a psych ward, but maybe that'd ruin him forever. Maybe the family should stay together until the girls graduate. I'm really not sure what is best for all of them, but worry that advocating for status quo isn't right either.

Many many thanks for all who considered this and might have some advice!!!

TL;DR: My brother has fallen off the deep end with conspiracy theories especially around health. He is essentially starving himself but refuses medical treatment and is in critical condition. Seeking advice on the right approach for him and his family.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:25

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I [27/F] aborted 3rd pregnancy with husband [27/M] of 8yrs. I think I may be pregnant again after protected intercourse. Contemplating divorce.

quote:
I don't really believe in having sex with people you don't want to make babies with b/c even though I may not intentionally try to bring children into the world I recognize that no birth control, including sterilization, is 100%. Now I find myself in a situation where I am married to a man that hates the kids he's made with me and doesn't want anymore.

religion ruins people, and this lady is a case study

edit: quoting this part of the post because it's too loving good to have gotten lost in that giant wall of text

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Sep 19, 2017

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:26

LeafHouse: Apr 22, 2008; That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!

mojo1701a posted:

That's like when Curb Your Enthusiasm had a woman who thought her saying "LOL" out loud was cute:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRom-BYrAGI

How are the curb references coming out now and not during the handjob story??

Buzkashi posted:

My[22F] boyfriend[28M] has gone off his rocker about honey

Lmao now this is a nice lighthearted one. I like that he may or may not have dumped her after a honey fueled fever dream and she's still not sure.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:27

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

"He shouted 'I only have one sweetie in my life!' and stormed out the door wearing only a red shirt and no pants, I don't understand"

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:29

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

half coke half diet posted:

If you dont want no more guy: "Don't be a fool, snip your tool"

He did though? I have no idea how she could be pregnant again if they're still using condoms and he's had a vasectomy...that's nuts. Then again that whole story is nuts so who knows.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:30

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Ouhei posted:

He did though? I have no idea how she could be pregnant again if they're still using condoms and he's had a vasectomy...that's nuts. Then again that whole story is nuts so who knows.

I read it as he is planning to get a vasectomy but has not done so yet

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:33

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Ouhei posted:

He did though? I have no idea how she could be pregnant again if they're still using condoms and he's had a vasectomy...that's nuts. Then again that whole story is nuts so who knows.

i thought she was theorizing sabotage/entrapment or something

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:34

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Ouhei posted:

He did though? I have no idea how she could be pregnant again if they're still using condoms and he's had a vasectomy...that's nuts. Then again that whole story is nuts so who knows.

Based on how that poor delusional woman wrote that insanity, I'm pretty sure she's saying her husband lied about getting the vasectomy??? Maybe. It's hard to say. It doesn't really matter because she should have divorced him yesterday. :psypop:

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:34

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Mirthless posted:

religion ruins people, and this lady is a case study

edit: quoting this part of the post because it's too loving good to have gotten lost in that giant wall of text

There is no reference to religion there you dumb gently caress unless you're doing that thing again where you base everything off your extended universe r/relationships fanfic instead of the actual posts.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:35

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

P-Mack posted:

There is no reference to religion there you dumb gently caress unless you're doing that thing again where you base everything off your extended universe r/relationships fanfic instead of the actual posts.

lol that you made this post

i am sure her opposition to hormonal birth control is rooted in secular politics

edit: and condoms, and sterilization, and "non-productive" sex:

quote:

I don't really believe in having sex with people you don't want to make babies with b/c even though I may not intentionally try to bring children into the world I recognize that no birth control, including sterilization, is 100%. Now I find myself in a situation where I am married to a man that hates the kids he's made with me and doesn't want anymore.

she literally says "I don't believe in having sex if a baby isn't a potential outcome"

she pursued abortion/entertained sterilization as a last result when it was clear her marriage was going to fall apart without it. she wouldn't even let her husband wear a condom when they hosed.

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Sep 19, 2017

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:36

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I mean there's a very slim failure rate for vasectomy, really slim but still. Also he will still have to pay child support after divorce so the financial worry is weird, divorce the guy already lady.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:37

LeafHouse: Apr 22, 2008; That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!

Mirthless posted:

religion ruins people, and this lady is a case study

Huh? I didn't see any religious mentions at all in that story.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:37

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

I Was The Fury posted:

I read it as he is planning to get a vasectomy but has not done so yet

You might be right.

YeahTubaMike posted:

i thought she was theorizing sabotage/entrapment or something

Maybe, not sure why the guy wouldn't if he openly hates his kids.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Based on how that poor delusional woman wrote that insanity, I'm pretty sure she's saying her husband lied about getting the vasectomy??? Maybe. It's hard to say. It doesn't really matter because she should have divorced him yesterday.

I think if anything it's more of a timing thing. I'm a little confused as to why he said he'd stay and support her for a 3rd if he really hates the other two, but people are terrible and dumb so...

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:38

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Ouhei posted:

He did though? I have no idea how she could be pregnant again if they're still using condoms and he's had a vasectomy...that's nuts. Then again that whole story is nuts so who knows.

I mean, he should have been sniped the second that he realized he didnt want them anymore, not after an abortion scare. And if you get snipped you have to give it a bit of alone time before you can get back in the game or else you playing with fire.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:39

Tricky D: Apr 1, 2005; I love um!

I wanna know why the guy hates his kids. I bet they have red hair.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:40

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

lol that you made this post

i am sure her opposition to hormonal birth control is rooted in secular politics

There's plenty of non religious people who don't like the side effects of hormonal birth control. Also Is there like a religious text that says condoms okay but hormonal bc isn't? I usually thought it was an all or nothing situation.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:42

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

ArbitraryC posted:

There's plenty of non religious people who don't like the side effects of hormonal birth control. Also Is there like a religious text that says condoms okay but hormonal bc isn't? I usually thought it was an all or nothing situation.

Read the post again. She was opposed to condoms, too. That's how she ended up having the abortion, she insisted on "natural" birth control (tracking her cycle) and refused to let her husband wear a condom.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:43

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

ArbitraryC posted:

There's plenty of non religious people who don't like the side effects of hormonal birth control. Also Is there like a religious text that says condoms okay but hormonal bc isn't? I usually thought it was an all or nothing situation.

Yeah, the only thing in there that seems religious at all is her stance on not having sex with someone unless you want to have kids with them, but her stated reason is that nothing is 100% effective, not that sex is for procreation only.

Edit:

Mirthless posted:

Read the post again. She was opposed to condoms, too. That's how she ended up having the abortion, she insisted on "natural" birth control (tracking her cycle) and refused to let her husband wear a condom.

You should reread it, she didn't want to use them that one time because she thought it was safe, getting a condom out can ruin the mood (dumb but it can and she's having trouble wanting to have sex with him already). She has used them other times and doesn't seem opposed to it.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:44

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Palpek posted:

I mean there's a very slim failure rate for vasectomy, really slim but still. Also he will still have to pay child support after divorce so the financial worry is weird, divorce the guy already lady.

I mean, just look at NFL player Antonio Cromartie. His wife just recently gave birth to a third child after he got a vasectomy. Thirteen kids overall (by nine women total).

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:45

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Tricky D posted:

I wanna know why the guy hates his kids. I bet they have red hair.

Their side-quests have poor loot and uninteresting dialogue choices

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:48

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Mirthless posted:

Read the post again. She was opposed to condoms, too. That's how she ended up having the abortion, she insisted on "natural" birth control (tracking her cycle) and refused to let her husband wear a condom.

Um she says the last time was not unprotected and protection was used. Unless it was a rain slicker I would assume a condom

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:48

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

half coke half diet posted:

Um she says the last time was not unprotected and protection was used. Unless it was a rain slicker I would assume a condom

Snickers wrapper.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:49

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Mirthless posted:

lol that you made this post

i am sure her opposition to hormonal birth control is rooted in secular politics

edit: and condoms, and sterilization, and "non-productive" sex:

she literally says "I don't believe in having sex if a baby isn't a potential outcome"

she pursued abortion/entertained sterilization as a last result when it was clear her marriage was going to fall apart without it. she wouldn't even let her husband wear a condom when they hosed.

Quite a few women can't tolerate hormonal birth control physically or take medications (e.g., anti-seizure medications) that would interfere with hormonal methods.

I imagine someone so religious that they won't take the pill would also refuse to use condoms, vasectomies, and, oh yeah, abortion.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:49

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Ouhei posted:

Snickers wrapper.

Mound's Wrapper, for the puns

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:49

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Tricky D posted:

I wanna know why the guy hates his kids. I bet they have red hair.

It's probably as simple as he's 27 with 2 young kids, doesn't enjoy his life, and is hugely depressed. Having kids at 22 fucks some people up. Not that dude's feelings excuses his absentee father behavior that's led to ruining the lives of his wife and family.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:50

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (51/M) husband has been lying to me (50/F) for decades. He cheated on me when we were younger.

Ahahahahahaha.

This is the plot of a king of the hill episode

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:52

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's probably as simple as he's 27 with 2 young kids, doesn't enjoy his life, and is hugely depressed. Having kids at 22 fucks some people up. Not that dude's feelings excuses his absentee father behavior that's led to ruining the lives of his wife and family.

Also one thing that is overlooked here is that they both served? Serving and Early fatherhood probably sucked rear end for this dude, who prob has some PTSD issues n poo poo

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:54

LeafHouse: Apr 22, 2008; That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!

Lmao @ her allegedly being too religious for birth control but not religious enough to abstain from condoms and abortions

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:57

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ouhei posted:

Yeah, the only thing in there that seems religious at all is her stance on not having sex with someone unless you want to have kids with them, but her stated reason is that nothing is 100% effective, not that sex is for procreation only.

Edit:

You should reread it, she didn't want to use them that one time because she thought it was safe, getting a condom out can ruin the mood (dumb but it can and she's having trouble wanting to have sex with him already). She has used them other times and doesn't seem opposed to it.

ah yeah you're right, i just read it wrong

mirthless is dumb as hell, moving on

# ? Sep 19, 2017 21:57

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

chitoryu12 posted:

My brother models his life after a character from Oregon Trail

# ? Sep 19, 2017 22:02

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

titty_baby_ posted:

This is the plot of a king of the hill episode

Like, completely? I vaguely remember there was one that Peggy found out Hank got mono or something.

I really, deep in my heart hope the story is actually real and life imitates art sometimes...

# ? Sep 19, 2017 22:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 16:13

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

LadyPictureShow posted:

Like, completely? I vaguely remember there was one that Peggy found out Hank got mono or something.

I really, deep in my heart hope the story is actually real and life imitates art sometimes...

I too vaguely remember a koth episode about peggy and mono.

# ? Sep 19, 2017 22:06

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