cumshitter posted:

I used to live across the street from a school until I couldn't, for reasons

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Why even give kids names? Just give them numbers, who cares?

Pvt.Scott posted:

The Romans were into that. Once you got to kid five you just started naming them Quintus, Sextus, Septus, Octavian, etc. literally 5, 6, 7, 8...

cumshitter posted:

Frankly I'd be disappointed in my child if they couldn't sneak past some stupid underpaid teacher. I'd be disappointed with my child if school taught them anything they didn't already know.

Slugworth posted:

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Why even give kids names? Just give them numbers, who cares?

quote:

Two hundred years ago, losing a kid was seen as NBD, happens all the time, we'll just crank out another.

zakharov posted:

Keep turning up the heat on these takes we're getting some good ones.

cumshitter posted:

I used to live across the street from a school until I couldn't, for reasons,

big trivia FAIL posted:

wanna know them reasons say them reasons

Tricky D posted:

And that was after naming the first four Gauis.

cumshitter posted:

I found a better paying job and purchased a home closer to my office than the 100+ year old shitbox apartment, where only one person in the entire building could shower at a time, I was living in.

That school was fairly nice though, I voted there several times.

Pvt.Scott posted:

To be fair, don't some cultures have a public name (official documents and formal settings), a social name (for acquaintances), a nickname (for buddies), a family name (what your mom and dad and sister call you), and a private name (reserved for besties and lovers)? I think Russia had that at some point. That's just first names. I can see how you'd get a lot of Bobs (on documents, at least) being born out of that.

fruit on the bottom posted:

That's the only annoying thing for me when I read Dostoyevsky: having to remember like 15 different names for everyone.

ArbitraryC posted:

Maybe it's just a cultural thing but my brother and I basically just left the house during the day with some snacks and came back when the sun started going down, and this was when we were p young.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I always wondered if the etymologies made sense in the original russian or if these folks just had several not-linguistically-related names to remember, and if that made them more cautious about getting to know someone because gently caress then you've got all these new names to learn

Palpek posted:

They are different versions of the same name just like for example Robert and Bob but in Russian such variety is way more common and often goes beyond 2 types in popular use. There's also the thing with having 2 surnames where the second one is derived from the father's first name and that adds additional complications.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

No, I imagine elementary schools have locking doors.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

No, I imagine elementary schools have locking doors. Also, they did not notice.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

The complaint has nothing to do with the fact that children are generally fine out on their own and that parents are free to let their own kids who they know will be okay roam around. The supervision provided by a school should be held to a higher standard that because, while that's okay for some kids, it won't be for others.

Outrail posted:

What would happen if a 6 year old wandered away from their parents house and a cop picked them up?

No repercussions? Lots? I'm guessing lots in America.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I always wondered if the etymologies made sense in the original russian or if these folks just had several not-linguistically-related names to remember, and if that made them more cautious about getting to know someone because gently caress then you've got all these new names to learn

Shugojin posted:

CPS gets called and there's an investigation and the kids may get taken away, there was a surprising E/N success story where this happened to a goon and his wife who actually listened to the wake up call and fixed their poo poo.

Also it's bad enough for a school to lose track of two kids, it's very much worse to not immediately report it to the cops.

quote:

So 10 am this morning me and my wife are woken up by knocking on our door. It turns out our 5 year old daughter woke up early this morning, put on her coat and shoes, filled her own backpack with her school stuff, and proceeded to walk to school.

A family saw her walking, and commented that she did very well for her age (looked both ways before crossing, pushed traffic light buttons, waited for cars, ect.) and seemed to be well taking care of herself. They played with her for a while at the school playground before calling the police because they didn't know where she lived. The police officer showed up, was very polite, but had to call in a second officer. They investigated our house, which turned into a 2 hour bullying session by the second officer.

He continually said our house was a pit (we have laundry on the floor, and probably a few days of dishes on our table, I hadn't done them in a while), and a soft spot in the bedroom (the floor was giving out due to water damage in the bathroom. I've been fixing the holes as we find them. There's several obvious spots where I've fixed the damage.)

He however, proceeds to look at me and comment "Look at this, this...you're pathetic." and calls child protective services (CPS). The woman arrives, and pretty much agrees with the officer. The first officer was nice, and fairly understanding. In front of all three of them I informed them that once before CPS had been here, gave them the previous CPS agent's name and card (this was a year and a half ago) however this apparently meant nothing (the previous visit they said nothing was wrong with our home).

No warnings, nothing, she says she's taking our kids and putting them in foster care, and that tomorrow or tuesday we will have to go to court over custody of our children (a 5 year old girl and 9 month old boy).

I ask, if the house was "very clean" by the time they came tomorrow, if this would be over fast, and the second officer proceeded to laugh and said "that'd mean you worked all through the night. You won't have this clean within two weeks even.".

The woman also repeatedly told us we might lose our kids for good.

Tomorrow I will be speaking to an attorney. Do you think I have a leg to stand on in court? My wife is missing a lot of work due to the fact that she's out of her mind crying because they took her children. I called my professors in college and said I probably couldn't make it to class (near finals even) at least for mon/tue. so I'm around to deal with this because my wife obviously can't with how freaked out she is.

I've been told by several non-legal friends to see if I can sue for grievances/damages or whatever. I know little about this so I'm curious: did they do wrong? I've also been told by several others that you're supposed to usually get some warnings before they take the kids due to a messy home.

Genocyber posted:

That thread is missing a lot now that the pictures appear to be dead. You don't get quite as strong of an image of how much of a hovel they had without seeing those, I think.

Mirthless posted:

i found some of the pictures in a thread on one of the places we're not supposed to talk about

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I worked in an American school district up through 2011 and none of the buildings had doors that were locked to prevent exiting the building. I would be pretty surprised if that sort of thing would even be allowed, I think building codes would tend to prohibit that as a potential safety risk in the event of a fire or other need to evacuate the building.

Motronic posted:

It is trivial to put crash bars hooked up to an alarm on all emergency exits and have a controlled "normal" exit(s) being staffed. This happens all the time.

Source: former code enforcement, currently a computer toucher who works at large data facilities. This is how it's safely and legally done even in WAY higher security environments than schools (seriously.....I have to go through biometric auth man traps and sally ports to get into most of the facilities I do work in).

Mirthless posted:

oh god i remember that thread

they thought SA would be sympathetic, hahaha

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3453028&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

edit: actually no this is a different idiot goon who got his kids taken away, hahaha

Mirthless posted:

i found some of the pictures in a thread on one of the places we're not supposed to talk about

Pick posted:

Also, there are several cases of young children who played hooky getting raped, by men, so it's a real threat to let your kids be outside where men are.

quote:

This post will be a little long, but please read it. I think the details are important, and I am hoping that someone can give me some advice because I am out of options.

The problem relates to my mother and her weight gain over the last year or so. It started sometime last spring/summer a few months after she had started dating her current boyfriend, Mike. Prior to that point, she was in decent shape. My mom was always a bit overweight during my childhood and teenage years, but after my parents split up, which was about two and a half years ago, she started taking better care of herself. We became running/diet partners, and she eventually reached the 130s, although her weight still fluctuated some.

Sometime around late January of last year she met Mike. He seemed like a nice enough guy when I met him, and they soon became serious. I think it is important to note that Mike is the first serious relationship my mom has had since she split with my dad. In any event, things were fine heading into the summer of last year. Then sometime around my high school graduation in June she told me that she needed to have an important conversation with me. When we talked, she told me that she was going to be seriously cutting back on our runs. She said that it was because she wanted to put on some weight and become curvier again. Mike had told her that he preferred women who were more curvy, and she wanted to please him. She also said that she wanted to relax for a little while and not worry so much about her weight.

I didn’t really think that much about it at the time. I assumed that my mom knew what she was doing, so I just left it at that and didn’t really try to discourage her. She seemed content with her decision, and I was happy to see her relationship with Mike going so well. After our conversation, my mom cut her runs with me from 4-5 days a week to just 1-2 days a week, and she started walking instead of running or jogging. She also stopped being so strict with her diet. She had cut out things like sodas and junk food in order to lose weight, but she started eating and drinking them again. As you can guess, she started to put on some of the weight she had lost. By the time I went to college last fall, she had probably put on about about 15-20 pounds, which put her back around what she weighed when she was still with my dad. I wasn’t that worried, though. My mom carried the weight well and seemed happy with her decision and her relationship with Mike.

I didn’t see or speak to my mom that much for the next month or so until I came home for fall break. That was the first time I had seen her since move in weekend, and she had put on even more weight. I didn’t ask her how much (didn’t really think it was any of my business at that point), but I thought it would be okay if I tried to subtly encourage her to be a little healthier, especially since she had stopped exercising altogether by this point. I tried to get her to go on a run with me over break, but she would just give me an excuse each time (e.g. too cold, too tired, etc.) or Mike would discourage her. I also couldn’t help but notice that her diet had become even worse. It seemed like almost everything she ate now was fast food or some kind of junk food. I suspected that this was mostly Mike’s doing since he was always bringing home unhealthy food and avoiding things like fruits and vegetables. Still, I didn’t really feel like it was my place to say anything yet, so I left it be. I did ask her if things with Mike were okay or if something was bothering her. She said that everything was fine, so I just said okay.

I went back to school and didn’t come back home again until Thanksgiving break, but it was more of the same--my mom had gained more weight. I am not sure exactly what she weighed at this point, but I know she was larger. I hadn’t planned to say anything, but I got worried after watching her eat over break. Even though I knew it was normal for people to indulge over Thanksgiving, it seemed like she was always eating. I would see Mike constantly bringing her snacks or something and mom would eat it. Even if she said she was full or not hungry, he would make a big fuss until she gave in and ate whatever it was he brought her. I made a point to speak to my mom and told her that I noticed she had still been gaining weight and it was starting to worry me. I told my mom that if she continued to gain weight it would have a negative impact on her health. She told me that she had just been enjoying herself and the freedom of not having to worry about her weight and what she was eating. She said that Mike told her that he didn’t care if she gained more weight after the first 20 pounds and had actually encouraged her to get bigger and curvier. I asked her why she had decided to stop caring about herself and her weight, and my mom told me that Mike had helped her see that she was always meant to be an overweight woman. She now believed that she looked better if she was larger and said that she planned to gain some more weight. I asked her when she planned to stop, and she said when she got to around 200 pounds. I sort of lost it there. I told her that she was eating herself to death and that she needed to eat healthier, be more active, and lose some weight. We had a huge fight, and I wound up leaving early to go back to school.

After the Thanksgiving incident, she messaged me and told me that she was an adult and would not be lectured to or controlled by her child. My mom also told me that if I wanted to live in her house I needed to respect her choices and not interfere with them or her relationship with Mike. I also got an email from Mike. It said basically the same thing--respect my relationship with your mother and her choices or don’t come home. (He had moved into my mom’s house by this point.) I decided to spend X-mas and New Year’s with my dad and his family, and I didn’t come home during the spring semester.

I just recently finished school and moved back into my mom’s house for the summer. I had kept up with her through Facebook and knew she had still been gaining weight, but I didn’t realize how big she had gotten until I got home. I would guess she is somewhere around, if not over, 200 pounds now. Everything about her is bigger; she doesn’t even look like my mom anymore because of how much weight she has gained in her face. She is mostly sedentary now other than what she does at her office during the day. After she gets home she sits on the couch and gorges herself. I am shocked at how much she eats now. Mike is always bringing her food and encouraging her to eat, and she is happy to stuff herself each night until she has a belly ache. My mom will also wake up each night and go into the kitchen to fix herself a “snack,” which is really just another large meal. They don’t even hide the fact that my mom is actively trying to get fatter! Mike has encouraged my mom to buy larger sizes of clothing for my mom so that she has “room to grow,” and she agreed. I have also heard Mike and my mom talk about her trading in her car to get something that will be more comfortable for her as she gets bigger. It is crazy!

I know this is what they both want, but the extra weight is starting to impact her health. She gets out of breath very easily now and complains if she has to do a moderate amount of physical activity (e.g. walk a long distance from a parking lot to a store, etc.). She also has developed minor knee and back problems and is always tired, and I know that this will only get worse if she continues to gain weight. However, she blames these problems on age and on her asthma rather than her weight. It is breaking my heart to see her doing this to herself. I am so afraid that she is going to die young and leave me without my mother if she continues down this path. I tried bringing up the subject again the other night even though I knew that Mike and my mom would get upset. I asked her at dinner if we could maybe try to eat less fast food and junk food and if she could stop trying to actively gain weight, and she got mad. She told me that I was a vain person, and that not everyone wanted to be a shapeless rail--some women want to have curves. After that, Mike came into my room and told me that if I said anything else, my mom had agreed with him that I would have to find another place to live for the summer. He also told me that I just needed to accept that my mom is a larger woman and that she will be getting larger. I asked him what he meant and mentioned that she said she would stop at around 200, and he told me that they both had decided that she should keep gaining past that. I got angry with him, but was afraid to say more. I don’t doubt that he would kick me out of my mom’s house, and I am not sure if my mom would try to stop him.

I tried contacting my sister about this, but seeing as she lives in another state and doesn’t get along with our mom, she didn’t really have anything to say. My dad doesn’t want to get involved either, since he has a fiancee and his own life. I would speak to some of my mom’s friends, but I don’t know if that would work. She hasn’t had much to do with them since she started dating Mike, so I don’t know if they would feel comfortable intervening. There isn’t any other close family members on my mom’s side that I could talk to. I really would appreciate any help or advice! I want to say something again, but I know how that will end. I guess I am wondering if it is better to take a (final?) desperate stand or bite my tongue and try to help my mom in a more subtle way. Or should I just accept that my mom is an adult and has to make her own choices and mistakes?

tl;dr: My mom started dating a man named Mike. He likes curvy women and has convinced her to gain weight for him. However, now the weight gain has started to affect my mom’s health and my relationship with her because I am trying to make her live a healthier lifestyle. I have been told that I will be kicked out of my mom’s house if I keep bringing up the subject. What should I do?

Dear Prudence posted:

Fiancé worried my genes will affect his son’s “package:” I have recently become engaged to my longtime boyfriend. Whenever the topic of children came up, he would insist he only wanted girls because his siblings were all brothers so another male in the family would be boring. Last week, however, he forwarded me an email from his brother (also his best man) with some information I needed for wedding planning, but the email was part of a much larger running conversation. I was mortified when I read his real reason for not wanting a son is that my “Asian genes” would mean his son would have a “small package!” My brother was bullied by jocks using this idiotic stereotype in high school so I was incredibly angered, but I haven’t said anything about what I read yet. He has begun asking why I am so distant lately, but I have no idea how to confront him

quote:

We've been together less than two months. Three days ago we talked about some really emotionally charged stuff. Afterwards I was still feeling really jumpy and I was crying, so as I was leaving I stopped to clear my head. I didn't notice that my boyfriend followed me out, and when he grabbed my waist to hug me from behind it startled me really badly and I panicked. I stomped on his foot and kicked him in the shin before I registered that it wasn't a stranger grabbing me.

He was surprised, but he's not the type of person who'll show that they're hurting or lose their head when they're attacked. I apologized a lot, and he said it was fine and don't worry about it. I felt awful but I had to go home. When I got home I realized I was wearing my steel-toe work boots and I felt even worse, but he'd said not to worry so I tried to put it out of my head.

The next morning when I was at his house I noticed a dried bloody splotch on the floor. I asked him about it and he tried to brush it off, but eventually I got him to tell me the truth. He'd been barefoot, and the treads on my boot scratched his foot up really badly, on top of the bruising, and he actually had to go to a clinic after I'd left to get a couple stitches put in. He'd cleaned up most of the mess but missed a spot. I was horrified, and I promised him I'd pay for the bill, but he again told me not to worry about it and that it was fine and his fault for startling me anyway.

His last relationship ended a few years ago, with a woman who was really abusive. I don't know many details, but I know she used to hurt him a lot, and that he felt it was "right" for him to get hurt like that. I keep thinking I'm just like her, even though I know that's stupid to think. He's also very stoic and tough, and protective. He'd never admit he was hurting because he wouldn't want me to feel bad. Since the incident, I've caught him wincing and limping when he thinks I'm not looking, but every time I mention it he says it doesn't hurt or that it's fine. Even though he's healing and there was no permanent damage, I just feel worse and worse.

tl;dr: I hurt my boyfriend after he startled me. Now I can't stop feeling guilty. How do I let this go?