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May 28, 2024 04:56
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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the op doesn't drive (lol)
I know he mentioned that but I feel like at least one person who might by sympathetic to the situation does and if he literally can't find anyone who considers her worth a trip like that then he should probably just give up this year and get his license as a 23 year old man.
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Sep 28, 2017 19:18
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- MinionOfCthulhu
- Oct 28, 2005
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I got this title for free due to my proximity to an idiot who wanted to save $5 on an avatar by having someone else spend $9.95 instead.
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Thank you for doing the right thing and posting a link to the post itself.
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Sep 28, 2017 19:24
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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too late for that, Canada has a 6 month period where you need an approved driver with you 
That's why I said "give up this year'.
Reddit comments are kind of interesting, seems other people noticed he doesn't really mention how his siblings and other close family members feel about the situation so it's somewhere between possible and likely they all side with the dad.
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Sep 28, 2017 19:27
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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My SO [26m] has dated much prettier women than me [26f] and I'm worried I'm holding him back
#notallmen? 
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Sep 28, 2017 19:29
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Hey!
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Sep 28, 2017 19:31
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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They do tend to have nicer body hair but I think most guys who are into blondes would probably be aghast at the idea of body hair on a woman anyhow.
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Sep 28, 2017 19:32
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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#yesallaspies 
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Sep 28, 2017 19:34
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- sincx
- Jul 13, 2012
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furiously masturbating to anime titties
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Found a good one.
Confessing to my [26/F] boyfriend [25/M] that I was one of the people who bullied him. He has no clue and I'm not sure I should bring it up.
This sounds like something from an Asian drama.
I'm pretty sure at least one anime had exactly this as one of the side plots.
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Sep 28, 2017 19:42
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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I wasn't sure whether this belonged here or the BWM thread. I'm think it's here:
Help a bride and groom fairly divvy wedding money
quote:
A bride and groom are looking for some third party help figuring out a fair way to divide the gift money to recoup some of the expenses from the wedding. Each has their own bank accounts and spent a good deal of their own money on the wedding. For context, the groom makes twice as much as the bride, and pays the bills (mortgage, city taxes, school taxes, all the utilities, 90% of groceries, etc), and the bride’s income goes toward saving for expensive American medical school. The bride is not from the US, so 80% of the guests were on the groom’s side. One point of contention is the fact that the bride’s family overseas who were unable to attend gave a lot more than those who did attend, and that the money was given for the couple to start their lives together, not to pay for the meals of Americans whose gifts didn’t cover it.
Here are some potentially relevant numbers in case people wanted to ask:
Total cost of the wedding: $21,000
Paid by groom: $7,300
Paid by groom’s parents: $5,450
Paid by bride’s parents: $5,000
Paid by bride: $3,250
There were $425 worth of kitchen item gifts, and $325 of Amazon gift cards, 95% from the groom’s side.
As far as cash gifts, this is how it was divided:
From grooms side: $5136 (65 adult guests)
From bride’s side: $1150 (17 adult guests)
From bride’s family not attending: $2960 (5 families)
So both the bride and the groom want their expenses covered the most fair way possible and feel third party opinions would be the best way to approach it. What do people think is best?
Top comment:
quote:
This is going to be one interesting marriage.
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Sep 28, 2017 21:16
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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My [25F] boyfriend's [24M] mom [48F] called last night to inform us she owes thousands of back taxes and will lose her house - we don't want her to move in
quote:
have a pit in my stomach.
My boyfriend's mom is terrible with money. This isn't the first time we thought she might lose her house but learning that she owes almost $20,000 in back taxes and hasn't been paying the mortgage for months has me extremely concerned.
We have only been living in our house for a year and I have absolutely no desire for her to move in for multiple reasons:
1. She has been unemployed since June and I don't see her getting a job anytime soon.
2. She has two dogs that are crazy and not only would they destroy our new house, they would terrorize our kitten.
3. There is a language barrier that makes things awkward sometimes and also leaves me completely out of the conversation when she's around, so it would be like that every day if she lived with us.
4. My privacy would be sacrificed. She'd always be around because she isn't working. This is a big one.
5. HOW WOULD WE GET HER TO MOVE OUT? What if she doesn't find a job? This is my main concern.
My boyfriend doesn't want her to move in, either. Her entire family is in her home country and she has no friends up here so there's nowhere for her to go except to us.
I guess I am seeking advice about how to handle this tactfully without making a giant mess. I am extremely anxious because I'm worried about getting a call from her crying that she was kicked out at anytime. And I don't expect my boyfriend to leave his mom on the streets.
I wish she would be more responsible. She's almost 50 ffs.
Tl;Dr boyfriend's mom is irresponsible with her money and is assuming she can move in with us, we don't want her to and I'm freaking out
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Sep 28, 2017 21:20
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Help a bride and groom fairly divvy wedding money
Nice try kid, but Im not helping you with your math homework
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Sep 28, 2017 21:36
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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 if the mom is that bad with money, this is a problem that will never go away. I found out recently that I have an in-law that's $90k in credit card debt and she's in her mid 20s. It would be impressive if it wasn't so insane.
Holy poo poo
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Sep 28, 2017 21:39
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- Fantastic Flyer
- Aug 9, 2017
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At that point the credit card companies have more to worry about than your in-law
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Sep 28, 2017 21:44
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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Me (31M) with my fiancé (30F) - She's my first everything while I am not. I experience heavy retroactive jealousy and a big part of me wants to leave the relationship to get more experience. However, I love her to death and I fear I'm ruining a good thing by doing this.
u/helpwithlife87 posted:
So some background. I'm not a loser who hung on to his first girlfriend for life. I was fairly popular in high school and could have had a few girlfriends, however at that time I had some small fear of committing to a girl so even at 16, I never really went on a date. That changed when the new girl came to school. I was 17, she was 16 when we started dating and now i'm 31 and she's been the only girl I've ever been with.
She was incredibly hot (even hotter now), pretty and amazing personality. And we immediately took a liking to each other.
So that's how I met my wife.
Now, while I was totally inexperienced she told me back then that she had one bf for 2 months in her previous school and all they did was kiss. THAT however, was not true and later on (like a year or two after), i learned that she had two boyfriends and hooked up with a couple guys at parties.
She even dry humped a guy she just met at a party and had her first orgasm with a guy that way.
So obviously that's normal and pretty mild for an attractive outgoing 16 year old girl.
But, she was my first everything! my first dance, hand holding, kiss etc.
It pains me to know that I was so innocent with her (something she said she loved), I took 9 months before bringing her to orgasm.....but gently caress it makes me feel so sick to think she hooked up and dry humped a guy in a party and orgasmed.
Even after 6 months of dating, I would not have had to balls (and most likely she would have stopped) if I tried to dry hump her like she described.
Her excuse or reason is that at that time she was having problems at home and was rebelling - she also was new to alcohol and more easily influenced.
So while I know I'm coming across as an insecure jealous boyfriend hung up on petty issues.
I still to this day live with two mental problems revolving around my relationship with her.
The stuff she hid, led me to believe she was someone different and led me to taking things very slowly with her. If someone told me 6 months into our relationship that she did that I would have 100% believed it to be false. And this feels like poo poo, I'm still constantly wondering what else she did that she hasn't told me. She went to dozens of parties between the ages for 14-16 and I'm 99% sure there's stuff she isn't mentioning because she knows it'll hurt me.
Because of my inexperience with other women, I'm constantly battling this urge that I need to break things off and get some experience. She knows this, I've told her and she said I can do it if I needed to and she'll always be there and come back to me.
The problem though is that I love her and I can't see myself getting aroused or into another girl. For me it was never easy to let go and by physical with a girl, except her and even then I took it so loving slow.
I need your help in dealing with these thoughts. I know my jealousy is unfounded, she's incredibly faithful and loves me to death.
I want to be with her, and let go of these lingering thoughts. But as someone in my position, is it possible? We've been together for almost 15 years and it's just as bad as it's always been.
jfc mate
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Sep 28, 2017 21:48
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Me (31M) with my fiancé (30F) - She's my first everything while I am not. I experience heavy retroactive jealousy and a big part of me wants to leave the relationship to get more experience. However, I love her to death and I fear I'm ruining a good thing by doing this.
jfc mate
It's wrong of her to date a retard
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Sep 28, 2017 21:50
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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what a loving idiot
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Sep 28, 2017 21:55
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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Piiiick marry me
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Sep 28, 2017 21:56
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Me (31M) with my fiancé (30F) - She's my first everything while I am not. I experience heavy retroactive jealousy and a big part of me wants to leave the relationship to get more experience. However, I love her to death and I fear I'm ruining a good thing by doing this.
jfc mate
Imagine having an awesome 30 year old fiancée who loves and cherishes your 15 year (!!) relationship and all you care about is how she maybe banged a couple dudes when she was a teenager. Jesus loving Christ. What a child.
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Sep 28, 2017 21:57
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Me [30M] with my gf/ex [30F] 3.5 years, she kicked me out a month ago, I'm proposing today, nervous
quote:Lived together 3 years. Very loving relationship, but a lot of aggression on her end sometimes when stressed caused a lot of friction and communicational distance between us. My job was also a source of stress, several times close to closing high 5 figure entires lately, most falling through in the end. I was also not always the cleanest, and she was not sometimes the most empathetic with me. That said, many good things.
She kicked me out a month ago over cheating allegations and aggression, not true on my end. There were many, many things to work on, but this is my last ditch effort to establish communication. I don't like how she has treated me at times for a while, but if I get a resounding no then I'm free to move out of the country and pursue my own dreams that don't include her.
I have no idea what she will say, but I know she loves me. I may come back to /r/relationships if she says yes/no, with some honest reflection about the whole thing. If she is to say yes, the relationship is in shambles and many things need to be worked on to have a chance. I believe we do have a chance though. I'm literally going to find out where she is and ninja-propose.
I need an operation soon, so if this doesn't work, I'll get that done, heal up and go live to another city.
tl;dr: Proposing to girl I lived a tumultuous, strong relationship with for 3 years, been out of the apartment for one month, she won't return my calls. I think we can do much better with communication and she has asked about this in the past. If this doesn't work, I'm moving to other places for a few months.
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Sep 28, 2017 21:57
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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first comment posted:
You need therapy, ASAP.
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Sep 28, 2017 21:57
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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take your meds Elsa
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Sep 28, 2017 21:57
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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But also draw some things.
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Sep 28, 2017 21:59
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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that too
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Sep 28, 2017 22:03
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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they only need to work once!
I'm on both my knees marry me pick you beautiful mind
No
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Sep 28, 2017 22:11
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- Anagram of GINGER
- Oct 3, 2014
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by Smythe
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the dance begins
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Sep 28, 2017 22:12
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- Trauma Dog 3000
- Aug 30, 2017
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by SA Support Robot
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Racist
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Sep 28, 2017 22:13
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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0 to creep in like 1.02 posts.
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Sep 28, 2017 22:14
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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elsa should have drawn a proposal comic imo
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Sep 28, 2017 22:15
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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This one is just be a long sad story about broken people, until you get to the punchline, then you stop feeling quite as bad for the OP.
Me [21 M] with my mother [56 F] and my father [65 M] - My mother is getting a divorce after 26 years married. As far as being a responsible adult, I don't know what to do.
quote:
So, I don't know where to begin. My parents married each other after thirteen days of knowing each other. They met in Iran before my dad came back to the US to get started on my mom getting a green card.
I am an only child and my parents never had a positive relationship. I can say this with almost total certainty. I have only seen them kiss once ever in my life, and it was because my grandmother on my mom's side pressured them into doing it, as if that would solve their troubles. It's almost entirely my father's shortcomings that have led to this, and I might have a bit of a bias, but I think it's true. He was very abusive to me and rarely could lend any emotional support to me or my mother. He was also abusive to my mom as well.
A few years ago, my mother had her midlife crisis and realized that she wasted her whole life with a man who was fundamentally incapable of any sort of relationship with anyone whatsoever. This is evidenced by the fact that this dude does not have any friends or even a relationship with his only child, me, his son. Many of my mom's friends all got divorces and my mom realized that she stayed with him for the wrong reasons (to maintain the family unit).
My dad was laid off like 7 years ago and all he's done for the past 7 years is just hang out and browse the internet. Literally. This is no exaggeration. My mom has recently asked a few psychiatrists and they told her he might have paranoid personality disorder and I checked out /r/raisedbynarcissists and it all checks out. My dad has a severe personality disorder. The few times in my life I've been able to relate to him, we've either been out of the house, or he's let down his defenses enough that he's comfortable interacting with me eye-to-eye. This is like 1% of the time ever. My whole life, my father has told me "We are not equals. I am your father. You have nothing to teach me. You are my son. Son does not teach father."
When I was 13, I would say "Heil Hitler" to him, and do the Nazi salute (lovely, I know, but I was 13 and not really being nurtured) and he was nod his head and agree, telling me that the dictator style of fatherhood is good or healthy or whatever.
Anyway, the dude's insane and has a lovely life. He abused me and I blame him for how my life is. But I also forgive him and have accepted my circumstances, and will acknowledge that they are, objectively, not really that bad. However, I live in the house with my parents while I finish college and sometimes it gets pretty vicious. I can't really take it anymore and I have managed to successfully convince my mother (who is the only one between the two who will listen to reason and not try to alpha-male me into submission, which my father can't anymore since I'm stronger than him now) to get a divorce. They both need to live on their own and so do I.
My mom recently picked up the book "Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man" and is constantly getting emotional with me about how she wishes she picked up the book years ago. Though I want to be supportive of her, I've been her pillar of emotional support for like the past 2 years now. I don't have one. I don't want to fill an emotional void for her and also I'm 21, I should be going out and getting laid and stuff, not being my mother's shoulder to cry on. I know it sounds selfish, but I really don't feel all too comfortable with it all of the time, especially when my dad called me "Oedipus" when I tried to physically defend her from him (only happened once but it hosed with my head).
My dad is also a headcase, I don't really have a relationship with him. Almost a year ago, he adopted a dog, and it looked like he was growing as a human and becoming more empathetic and able to become vulnerable, but recently he gave him away for the bullshit excuse that "he didn't have time." and he's back to the same miserable rear end in a top hat. I don't know what to do with him because he's getting increasingly senile. I literally had the following interaction with him a few weeks ago:
I walk in "Hi dad. Hello. Hi."
Him: "Don't 'hi dad' or 'hey dad' me. Go say these things to your American buddies. I am not American, nor am I your buddy. You address me as your father."
Me: "Okay Dad, what do you want me to say to you."
Him: "I don't want you to tell you what to say to me, then it wouldn't be genuine."
Me: "So you want me to genuinely address you in a way you approve of?"
At this point, he started telling me that I can have the best sort of arguments but I will never know blah blah blah, and I snapped because I'm tired of his bullshit. The dude just watches TV all day and then hassles me with this crap? I told him to diarrhea directly into my mouth and piss all over my face. That made him leave me alone for the past few weeks. I'm sorry, I know that's immature, but having to handle my medication and be like the relationship referee between two badly damaged middle-aged adults is straining.
Anyway, I was picking up some adderall from my doctor last week and every time he sees me, he tells me some variation of "You really need to take charge of your father" or "Your father gets depressed, you should charge him up." This time, I had the balls to tell him "How? I'm a 21 year old college student who still lives at home, I'm trying to get X Y and Z done and I'm running around all day. How am I supposed to be my fathers pillar of emotional support?" at which point, my doctor told me that my father is psychotic.
Supposedly, my dad is planning on taking all of his money and moving back in with his 90-something year old mother in Iran, presumably so he can maintain his current life style and collect my late grandfather's life insurance checks. Once my grandma dies, he wants to move to southeast Asia to live in a forest and intentionally become homeless. This is all stuff he's told my family doctor, whom has told me because he deems my father incapable of taking care of himself at this point.
My family doctor also told me that my dad will probably die if he's left to fend for himself when my mother leaves him. I told him that as bizarre as it is for a 21 year old to say that his father needs to become self-sufficient and independent, that's exactly what he needs, and it's sink or swim for him. My dad has diabetes but doesn't believe he has diabetes. He will reject any sort of drug intended to alleviate any of his psychological symptoms and maintains that his is completely sane and mentally-healthy, and it's everyone else who is hosed up. He has these weird conspiracy theories about other people and they make no sense, and it leads him to act in weird ways. Even people with upstanding character, he thinks they're evil villains with plans to subvert him. His own family members. I bet he even thinks I hate him, but I am past that now and I only want a civil and maybe even fun relationship with him, since he's so much like a 17-year-old, even with all the poo poo he's done to me, but since he's like a textbook paranoid personality disorder/passive-aggressive/narcissistic personality disorder guy, it's impossible for him.
Also, don't really know where to throw this in, but my dad is just adopting a pure obstructionist policy re: the divorce, demanding that all assets be liquidated and split down the middle. He's too lazy and irresponsible to do any of that, though, since he can't even be bothered to check his bills until they're 4+ months overdue.
I don't know what the gently caress to do. I'm stuck living at home and I can't get loans to move out because apparently the guy who's been doing my parents taxes for 20 years (my dad's friend) has failed to file both my parents' personal taxes since like 2008 as well as my mom's business' taxes, which she started from the ground up in '07. My mom is several dozens of thousands of dollars in debt to the IRS while paying for my education out of pocket, and figuring out my tax info from this guy so I can get loans is like the least prioritized priority.
So it looks like I'm going to be stuck living here for a while. I guess I just told you guys all of this so I can paint a background and/or get it all off my chest, because I don't feel like I have time/money for a therapist or just the time for a school counselor. How do I go about living the however many years I have left here treating my parents with compassion and not regretting my boring rear end lovely life later for not having an enjoyable youth?
Also, another big thing I need help with is being able to sort between feeling empathy for my mom and taking sides. I don't want this to be a situation in which I unjustly side with my emotionally manipulative mother against my father, when he's not really that bad of a guy. Though, by empirical standards, he's broken, I do have a few good memories with him. I just don't want to be the mamma's boy who caused his father's demise. I don't know. I'm confused and I have no one to talk to about this. I'm all alone. boo hoo woe is me.
tl;dr: My mother is finally divorcing my mentally-ill father. How do I play my part in making this easy on everyone involved, including myself?
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Sep 28, 2017 22:17
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 04:56
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Sep 28, 2017 19:16
