- Fantastic Flyer
- Aug 9, 2017
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wat
I mean how does she even expect that to work. Like yeah you can hold it in for a bit if the timing is really bad but it's not like you'd be able to hold it long enough to mimic actual constipation. Does she just want him to poo poo his pants? Is it a sex weird?
Buttplugs solve everything
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Oct 4, 2017 23:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 3, 2024 03:40
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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When I was little I would refuse to poop and was constantly constipated. Welp that's my poop story I'll hang up and listen
Knew a kid who wouldn't poop because it physically hurt him so he would hold it in for as long as possible. This usually involved scrunching his face up and putting out his arm and twisting it. His mother was a nurse, took him to see one of the doctors she knew. Diagnosis: "No real issue, he probably just has narrower butt tubing than the average person. Just tell him to keep pooping and the problem will eventually solve itself." Which earned him the nickname "elastic colon" from his older brother.
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Oct 4, 2017 23:59
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] of eight months: She says I directly insulted her handicapped cousin and is leaving me, but I didn't!
quote:
HELP Reddit!!! My girlfriend isnt responding to any of my phone calls or facebook messages, and I don't know what to do.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and we completely love each other, I've never been with anyone this smart, beautiful, or kind, and I know I want to marry her someday.
The other day I was taking the train into manhattan and when I do this, sometimes I bring a walking stick so people will let me sit down. My girlfriend saw me on the train (I don't even know why she was taking that train, she works uptown during the week), and FLIPPED out in front of everyone. It was absolutely humilitating. She said I'm a disgusting human being and that I am directly insulting her cousin (who is apparently paralyzed from the waist down and in a wheelchair), and that she feels like vomitting. She then ran out of the train at the next platform and I haven't heard from her since.
My facebook messages show up as "read" but she wont respond or to any of my texts or emails. How do I get her to forgive me? Could this all be a smokescreen and shes seeing another guy? I still don't know why she was on the train from brooklyn.
tl;dr: Girlfriend thinks I insulted her disabled cousin and want talk to me, HELP!
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Oct 5, 2017 00:16
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- FantasticExtrusion
- Sep 3, 2017
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Last week I somehow didn't poop for 2 days and then I had to poop 3 times in a day.
Just three, solid, hearty, consistent movements each of nontrivial size separated by about an hour and consistency/color.
Somehow I have gone back to one a day and never felt any discomfort. I was like, "wth breh, we already did this."
??? where did the poops go those two days ??? were they members of the deep state ??? was the day of 3 poops a false flag ??? something doesn't add up!
FantasticExtrusion fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Oct 5, 2017
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Oct 5, 2017 00:19
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- Farmer Crack-Ass
- Jan 2, 2001
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this is me posting irl
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People who like clean appartments should just break up with messy people and vice versa, it's one of the biggest relationship incompatibilities aside fom different sex drives. It leads to extreme frustration and misery so if you try working it out but fail then it's time to say goodbye.
Alternately just don't move in with each other. My mom and step-dad have been living across the street from each other for like 12 years so far and it's worked great for them.
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Oct 5, 2017 00:26
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- FantasticExtrusion
- Sep 3, 2017
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Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] of eight months: She says I directly insulted her handicapped cousin and is leaving me, but I didn't!
There are only two acceptable reasons to sit down on public transit:
1.) Your legs actually don't work.
2.) You have to poop.
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Oct 5, 2017 00:28
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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You know, I can still feel the spectre of racism chat wafting through the thread. I was thinking about leaving for a few days to let things air out, but sometimes it's just easier to to a deep cleanse. Games are a fun way to do that.
Here's one of my favorites. It's time to play Spot the Monster.
Me [20 M], haven't been happy since I became a teenager. Feel like I caused my mom's death.
quote:
I will be 20 in October and I basically haven't been happy since the day my mom and dad divorced. My mom had MS and she was declining fast. One night my parents were arguing and my dad (step father; only dad I ever knew) decided it was a good idea to throw my wheelchair bound mom into out swimming pool. Some how she survived and swam to the shallow end and called the police.
They separated that night. Flash forward two years and you see me as a fat, not so depressed 16 year old. I played World of Warcraft 12-15 hours a day and while my mom was bed bound, i didn't care to help her. I didn't want to help her. I wanted to play my game. My brother was 12 and he was beginning to not want to follow rules etc etc. My girlfriend and her family helped all the time with our problem since I was a freshman in HS. While my mom was still bedridden, I watched her suffer and hear her suffer because of my stupidity and negligence for wanting to help. She would need her diaper changed at night and wanted to be fed at night as well...except I didn't want to do it and went to sleep. She was in horrible pain, had infections, sores, you name it. This was ALL MY FAULT. I was stupid and didn't care.
Three years later and I am a drop out. I stayed until the very last day of HS. No diploma, no GED. I had to send my mom to a nursing home. STUPIDEST thing that ever came out of my mouth. I never went to see her and when I did, I would hate it. But yet, I secretly missed my mom. I really did. I wanted her to move, I wanted her to talk. I wanted her to be normal. All I did was run away from trying to help her because I was too stupid.
So, April of 2015 my gf breaks up with me after almost 5 years together because I had just given up and I was becoming more and more of a douche bag to her and her family. We get back together in May because I basically pleaded with her. The last few weeks I have noticed she has been turning into a self absorbed person. She hasn't shown ANY effort into getting a job nor does she want to move in with me. I have a steady job that I have been at for a year now and an apartment with my cat. I tell her that if she really loves me, to move in. Her excuse? She has no job and we don't have enough money to cover expenses. She hasn't gone out to look, she graduated with a 4.0 and top 20 of her class and her parents won't pay for her to go to college. Not even community college. She's almost 20 and still lives at her parents with no work history.
Back to my mom, she passed away on August 7th. She died from starvation from what I was told. When I went to see her for her last two weeks, I couldn't stand the sight. I couldn't even understand how it got this bad. All I could think about was what I had done to her. I made her this way. I gave her all this pain. I saw it in her face that she still loved me and wanted me to live day by day, but I still think about every single time I didn't want to help her.
I am a lazy and terrible person. I don't know how I could have done what I did to her.
I haven't seen a doctor since I was 13, and since then, I haven't asked about what is wrong with me. I think and I'm not sure, I might have some sort of anxiety or disorder because I do not like being around people, yet I WANT to be around people. I just can't do it. I can't even go anywhere by myself. I have to have someone with me in order to buy groceries, go to the park, etc. I know I have depression and I set it aside because I don't feel like taking pills for it. I never liked pills because the medicine that the doctors gave to my mom, destroyed her. It basically made her a mindless zombie just so her pain would go away, yet they would do more damage than help her.
Now, present day, I feel like I'm losing myself because I can't even talk to my girlfriend of 5 years how I'm feeling. I feel like she doesn't want me anymore, I feel she wants to move on because I am just not interesting anymore. I now know how it feels to be married, yet I don't know how I could be interesting when I go out every day to work when she stays at home and does nothing. I just want everything to end.
I don't have any family left other than my brother (step dad and my mom's) and my grandparents who live in Germany. I live in the southwest part of the US. I don't have any friends that I hang out with because everyone I know always gets drunk or high. I don't drink nor do I smoke. Reddit, what should I do? I know some are going to say go to therapy, but my job only brings home $1300 a month and my rent is $520 a month. Also, I can't even bring myself to go anywhere, and I mean anywhere by myself.
TL;DR, I am almost 20 and have lost my mom to MS with my neglect. I might have some kind of disorder or something, but I don't know what it is.
Well, kids? Did you find the monster?
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Oct 5, 2017 00:33
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Well, I have something really cute and saccharine I want to post later, but I thought that needed to earned.
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Oct 5, 2017 00:46
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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You know, I can still feel the spectre of racism chat wafting through the thread. I was thinking about leaving for a few days to let things air out, but sometimes it's just easier to to a deep cleanse. Games are a fun way to do that.
Here's one of my favorites. It's time to play Spot the Monster.
Me [20 M], haven't been happy since I became a teenager. Feel like I caused my mom's death.
Well, kids? Did you find the monster?
Uh...wtf dad?
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Oct 5, 2017 00:48
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- FantasticExtrusion
- Sep 3, 2017
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Depends if he waited for the signal or not while raiding.
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Oct 5, 2017 00:50
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- Sentient Data
- Aug 31, 2011
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My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!
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The monster is the raid leader for not scheduling around the mom's caretaking needs
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Oct 5, 2017 00:57
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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The monster is the raid leader for not scheduling around the mom's caretaking needs
I was afraid no one would see this thank you
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Oct 5, 2017 00:58
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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People who like clean appartments should just break up with messy people and vice versa, it's one of the biggest relationship incompatibilities aside fom different sex drives. It leads to extreme frustration and misery so if you try working it out but fail then it's time to say goodbye.
You can loving work that poo poo out.
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Oct 5, 2017 01:06
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- pshap
- Jun 9, 2016
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From /r/self but still:
quote:
GF and I agreed to open relationship with restrictions (like condoms). First encounter (her) is done without condoms. (Please do not upvote a lot I don't want this to get popular)
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I honestly just need someone to vent to because I'm not getting much from her. I would post this to r/sex but she frequents there often.
Basically, we agreed to an open relationship as long as we were honest to each other and always wore condoms. However, her first sexual encounter was done without him wearing a condom and I'm honestly devastated. This was meant to be all positives and bring nothing but more happiness in our lives but right from the beginning it's already causing problems. She agreed to go to a doctor and talk about the time table for getting tested, and said this would never happen again. I believe her, and love her with every piece of me that I can, but drat this sucks. This makes our agreements seem unimportant; the things we agreed to and my concerns to be second to the whims of the moment. On top of that, she plays lip service to apologizing and wanting to fix it, but it seems half hearted and without much concern. This has only been over text since we don't see each other much, but this honestly hit really hard. I'm sorry for contributing to making r/self a depressing place.
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Oct 5, 2017 02:06
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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more like
/r/selfown
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Oct 5, 2017 02:17
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- Carrion Luggage
- Nov 24, 2006
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There are only two acceptable reasons to sit down on public transit:
1.) Your legs actually don't work.
2.) You have to poop.
its a 10 miles ride through down town metro
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Oct 5, 2017 02:18
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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When asked why they didn't use a condom
quote:They didn't have one. Which is ridiculous since we agreed to this a week ago and she's been trying to get with this guy since then. And she could have waited to do it another day. But what's done is done..
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Oct 5, 2017 02:19
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- coolskull
- Nov 11, 2007
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sounds like 10 miles of time to practice your balance
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Oct 5, 2017 02:20
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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It's p hilarious how transparent her motives were and how sad the OP is in just putting up with it.
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Oct 5, 2017 02:24
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- Fantastic Flyer
- Aug 9, 2017
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Always a good sign when your SO immediately disregards the established rules in your open relationship
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Oct 5, 2017 02:24
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Always a good sign when your SO immediately disregards the established rules in your open relationship
also that she entirely opened up with the relationship because she's been horndogging after a specific dude so long that she jumped his bone the second she browbeat her pathetic boyfriend into it.
Honestly I'm kinda surprised she didn't just cheat in the first place, maybe it's more of a thrill to know she's emotionally devastating the other guy.
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Oct 5, 2017 02:26
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Obviously my last one wasn't well-received, but maybe this will help.
I [24f] am unclear on how to proceed with disabled classmate [25m] who keeps to himself
quote:
Hi everyone. I've learned a lot from this subreddit over the years and didn't think I would ever need to avail of it but here we are! Throwaway since everybody+their mother knows my main account. I also realized after writing this that it's a ginormous wall of text so please excuse!
I'm 1 year into a prestigious PhD program that involves a lot of bench research, i.e. students working in different labs across various buildings and not spending much face-to-face time with one another as part of the academic experience. So, in order to foster a sense of community among students we organize social events at least once per week. Potluck dinners, getting drinks at lunch, maybe a movie. There aren't a whole lot of us (~30 or so) so we have gotten to know each other fairly well, but there are a few who don't join for various reasons, and we're still friends.
This academic year, two new students joined our program. We didn't get the chance to meet either in person so I invited both to a night of bowling over email the first week they arrived, which was mid-June. One of them (Sarah) agreed, but we never heard from the other (Max). We later found out that Max is wheelchair-bound and figured that he didn't respond out of awkwardness. Since I was the one to invite him initially I thought I would drop by his lab to apologize for any weirdness and to make it clear that we're an inclusive bunch. The first thing I noticed was that Max was a good-looking fella and that he dresses very well. (Sorry, can't help myself! I like what I see). He had an accident that renders movement below the hips null but he has full control over his arms, head, and torso.
Over our conversation it became clear that he'd just overlooked the email in his inbox amidst all of the other nonsense our program sends us when we first join (paperwork, yuck). What was also clear was that Max is very focused on his work -- he transferred here with his entire lab, so he's already made significant headway into his project -- but that he's a funny dude and not socially awkward at all, unlike the stereotypical nerds that join our program. But, due to his focus he tends to spend much more time in the lab and less time socializing, so he told us not to expect him to join our social events often. Also, due to his disability and the distance of his building to the center of campus he prefers to eat lunch in lab and that tends to happen in solitude. Fine by me, I said.
Since then, I've made it a point to visit him for lunch at least once per week, to give him some company, but also for me to get to know him better and learn about his research. The guy is a genius and there is no question why he's in a program like this. But -- and I know you know where this is going -- he's also a sweetheart and I'm clearly developing feelings for him now. I learned that he's never been in a serious relationship, since his accident that rendered him disabled occurred at the age of 15 and apparently it's harder to meet and date girls when in a wheelchair. He isn't very open but he's expressed self-doubt about whether or not people see him as a human being like the rest of them since he feels like he's categorized as some "alien species" that can't walk but that can do crazy math and physics problems in his head. As a result he's shared that he has this strange complex where he feels physically inferior to be worth others' time, but also intellectually intimidating in such a way that other people have tended to leave him alone to his own studies. (He said it in a much more elegant way. There's a reason I'm not a creative writing student.)
Anyway, I definitely have more experience in the dating department but I've been single since before starting this program and to be honest I've never been the one to initiate romantic stuff. Not that I have anything against it, but the 3-4 people I dated (excluding casual interactions) all initiated contact first. So, I find this situation daunting, not only because it's my first time seriously asking someone out, but also because I don't want to say something insensitive. I'm really curious to explore this with him. But there are some things I just don't know how to bring up: would I drive him to a date? How would I fit his chair in my car? What are the kinds of places we could go? And then, eventually... how would sex work? Would it even work? Is that something we should discuss now? Or would that be too forward and possibly emasculating? Finally, there's the question of what other people will think. I honestly don't care, but for example if my parents found out I'm dating a man who is disabled, I can't say I know that they would agree with my decision. I'd hope they would, but it's never come up before.
I find that these are entirely new questions that are new territory for me, and it's further complicated by the fact that he is technically my classmate and that he's really focused on his work. But, I'm sure if I approach this the right way, it won't be as awkward as I fear. I just don't know how to do that!
Any and all advice would be appreciated! Thanks!!
TL;DR: I have a new classmate who is a stud in looks and personality, and he's in a wheelchair. I want to pursue something with him but I feel like a 13-year old girl again. What should I do here?
The thrilling conclusion after I have dinner.
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Oct 5, 2017 03:09
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Obviously my last one wasn't well-received, but maybe this will help.
I [24f] am unclear on how to proceed with disabled classmate [25m] who keeps to himself
You could try to bait him out from under the truck. Try booze or model trains.
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Oct 5, 2017 03:23
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- Viva Miriya
- Jan 9, 2007
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Holy poo poo that's Pick.
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Oct 5, 2017 03:35
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 3, 2024 03:40
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Holy poo poo that's Pick.
Well, one slight difference.
UPDATE (Happy!!) - I [24f] am unclear on how to proceed with disabled classmate [25m] who keeps to himself
quote:
Link to original post: /r/relationships/comments/6w7y8a/i_24f_am_unclear_on_how_to_proceed_with_disabled/
Hi everybody! My original post didn't get a lot of attention, but the few comments I did get were all encouraging me to go for it and ask my disabled classmate Max out. That, coupled with a retrospective self-analysis, the conclusion of which suggested I was being an idiot for not taking the initiative, pushed me to approach Max and ask him out to dinner some time (we were already having lunches together at his lab, so I wanted it to be a bit more special). I asked him about 2 weeks ago. He said, "Out? Like, on a date?" and I replied, "Yep! A date  " and flashed the cheesiest grin I think I've made since my 8th birthday party. I was also sweating like a donkey with a hair overgrowth problem. Despite that, he was super excited and said yes, and followed up by saying it would be the first proper date he's been on since his first year in college. (Fun!) The rest of this post is really sappy stuff, and it doubles for me as an abridged journal entry of the events that transpired, so I apologize if I ramble.
I knew he liked Italian, but I didn't want to go too fancy, so I went for America's favorite cheap fine-dining establishment, Olive Garden. Max's chair fit neatly into the trunk of my car and, with a little help, he fit neatly into the passenger seat, so that was no problemo. I called the restaurant ahead of time and made sure they were ADA-compliant, had a wheelchair-accessible table, etc, and made sure they had extra breadsticks ready once we got there. The worst part about endless breadsticks is that they take too long to come out from the kitchen and in the meantime your digestive enzymes are working feverishly to tell you to stop eating, and so you lose your appetite. I told them no less than three baskets of breadsticks. They brought out two. But our waitress had a cool ear cartilage piercing so we still tipped her well.
The date was AWESOME! It's not like it was the first time we'd talked, but being away from the academic environment does wonders for opening up the conversation. We talked about family, fun times, sad times, angry times; friends, enemies, acquaintances that awkwardly hang out in Facebook feeds; alive people, dead people, dead people we wished were alive, and alive people that should really be dead already; and we had a good time. He is such a mature personality -- simultaneously wise like a grandfather, wise-rear end like a father, skeptical like a teenager, and curious like a baby. He can also sneeze with his eyes open, which is wicked.
We wrapped up dinner, and took a stroll/roll down the street, stopped by this little sidewalk bench, and sat down. I was really nervous, but I wanted to take the advice of /u/Aus-Ronin, so when there was a lull in the conversation I just placed a big fat kiss right on his mouth. On his mouth! It felt like the 8th grade again!! We've been practically inseparable since then, going out nearly every night. He's gotten to explore a lot of the city that he hasn't seen yet. Also... this past weekend, we did a bit more exploring with each other... I didn't exactly know how the intimacy would work out but suffice it to say, it was a learning experience for both of us -- we primarily learned that we should have brought him two changes of clothes when he came over to my place on Friday evening. It's also the first time I've had a man cry in my bed. It was a really humbling experience, and it brought us much, much closer. The loving we shared after that was probably the most fulfilling I've experienced in my life so far.
I told my parents this morning about Max. I was concerned about this and once I brought it up with them I realized there was no reason to have been afraid. They were extremely supportive and want to meet him soon, but I'll take it slow. Thanksgiving would be a good time.
Finally, our classmates figured it out yesterday when I drove to campus with Max in the morning. They feigned various shades of having known "for a long time" that this was going to happen, blah blah. More than anything they're excited to really get to meet Max, since he's been isolated in the lab for the past 3 months. Since we're dating now it's not awkward at all for me to invite/walk/drive with him to any of our social gatherings. Win win!
If you can't tell, I'm kind of over the moon. Max is an amazing guy and while his disability is a part of his physicality, it's now far from the first thing that comes to mind when I think about him. Thanks to those who responded to my post -- you gave me the little jolt of courage I needed to jump in head first!
Love to all!!
TL;DR: We're dating. It's really good.
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Oct 5, 2017 03:37
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Oct 4, 2017 23:53
